I can't blame you

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I can’t blame you for your past.

Just as you can’t blame me for mine.

As much as we can hope and pray to go back in time

our pasts are our pasts; they are our own burdens to bear.

Your present is my present, somehow “you” and “I” turned into “we”, and I agreed happily.

Seeing your name makes me smile, hearing your voice makes me close my eyes and sigh

because I could listen to it forever.

You know how I am bad at sayings?

Well people say “all we have is now”, but what about the future?

What if we a limited number of endless days full of smiles? Good-byes would become nonexistent, we wouldn’t have to be apart. Goodnight would become less final, because you would be my first “good morning”.

Of course the threat of rain would be on the horizon. The humid smell of a possible rainstorm wouldn’t disappear just because I wouldn’t have to go a day without being in your arms.

But instead we would run out to that horizon together, we would dance until the clouds began to cry and then upturn our faces, feeling each drop cascade down our skin. We wouldn’t avoid the storm, we would face it together.

What if we had a future? Will we have a future? Will we look back and smile softly to one another for the past we made together?

I’m not sure, I don’t have the answers.

I can’t change my past, I can’t predict my future, so I guess I will have to live in the present; only there can I make choices.

And I choose to spend my present with you.

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