All You Need Is Love II (MewGulf AU)

🌻Chapter 9

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The morning sunlight shone on his face. Opening his heavy eyelids, Gulf noticed the light streaming in through a gap in the curtains. He sat up groggily.

He didn't know what time it was, or even what day.

He reached mindlessly for the TV remote control and turned it on. Letting the news flow over him, he figured out what day it was.

"Friday morning." Yesterday was Thursday. He had spent the whole night out, so of course it was Friday now. Finally, comprehension of the natural passage of time returned to him.

But when Gulf got out of bed, his head felt like it was going to split in half. He pressed his hands against it. He has a hungover. He saw an empty bottle on his table and got depressed.

He remembered Bright getting up to leave the night before, saying he had things to take care of. Gulf had pretty much trailed off after him out of the bar.

So he'd only had gin and lime at the bar. But when he'd gotten home, he'd finished off what was left of some brandy he had lying around. The bottle had been a little less than half full, but compared to how much he usually drank that was still a lot.

"Phew."

His breath stank so much of alcohol, Gulf thought he might get drunk again.

As he swung himself out of bed, he stepped on something hard. Peering down at the carpet, he saw his cellphone lying on the floor.

It looked like the battery had run out sometime the night before, since the phone didn't respond when he pushed its button. Gulf had meant to charge it when he got home, but must've forgotten to in the midst of all the drinking.

What if Mew had tried to call him? Gulf doubted he could have talked to him even if he had called. He was glad the battry had died. Besides, if Mew really wanted to get in touch, he can always call his landline. But his phone hadn't rung once after he got home last night.

But Maybe Mew was just up to his eyelids in work---he had said things were busy.

Gulf let that idea reassure him as he dragged his heavy body out of bed and into the shower. Once hot water was pouring down over his head, his eyes begin to clear.

He slapped his cheeks, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Pull yourself together," he urged himself.

Gulf had sworn to face the truth and to keep both feet firmly planted when he examined his future with Mew. He had meant to do just that.

It wasn't easy being in love with Mew, who belonged to a criminal gang. He was part of a world completely separate from Gulf's own. Still, Gulf had never been conflicted about his decision to be with him.

But after talking with Bright the night before, he couldn't believe how shaken he was in his conviction.

He understood that they were both men. But he believed that at some point his feelings for Mew and Mew's feelings for him would be able to overcome the barriers of being homosexual.

The reality wasn't so simple.

In reality, there had been several times already when Mew had been unable to contact him, just like last night. All he would ever tell Gulf the next time they saw each other was that it had been nothing important. So Gulf stopped asking.

He knew that Mew was running Kabuki-cho. But that wasn't much of an improvement over not knowing where he was or what he was going when they weren't together. The worst part was that Mew didn't seem to want him know.

Gulf knew Mew felt that way, so even when he read news articles he never discussed his opinios with Mew.

Mew thougt it was kindness not to say something and keep Gulf from getting embroiled in things. He thought it was only considerate for Gulf to not ask him about anything.

But was it really?

When Gulf had asked Bright if Mew had a girlfriend, he hadn't given a clear answer. He'd said he wanted to know in order to help Mew, but Gulf knew better than anyone that he needed to know for himself.

"I'm such an idiot.".

A self-pitying smile came over his face.

He couldn't reveal their relationship to anyone. And since he couldn't reveal it, it only existed inside of him. He believed in it as something enduring.

But his lack.of resolve last nigh, and the fact that he was so shaken by the words of another showed him how flimsy his courage really was.

Gulf turned the shower faucet in the other direction and cold water poured over his head. Praying that all the alcohol would be washed out of his system, he stood stoically under the water.

TBC