Forever & Always (Forever & Always #1) (boyxboy)

A Sudden Realization

A broken person can always be healed. You just need to find the person who will love you wholly and truthfully.

When I finally returned to my body everything was in darkness. I could hear the world around me. I could feel every gust of air that hit me. I could feel when someone touched me. Even when it was just the barest touch. But I could not see or move.

There was something very uncomfortable in my throat. It felt like having a fist rammed down my throat. I could not touch it though. My arms were not working and it frustrated me. I thought by pulling it out that I would go back to sleep. Or maybe even die.

Every sensation, every emotion, I felt. But there was nothing I could do about them. I tried to move. I wanted to move, but couldn't. My body was asleep, but I was awake. And it did very little to encourage me to wake up.

What's the point. I only casue hurt and pain. Even my own mother couldn't love me. So how could anyone else.

After a long time fighting against everything. I relented. Realizing, I calmed my inner head and decided to listen. Trying to figure out what was going on and where I was. It took a while. My head not giving up, but eventually I got there.

A steady beep echoed through the room. The sound more annoying than frightening. It was there, a constant non stop sound. Listening to the rhythm of the sound, I decided it was some sort of monitor. Some time later it became clear that it was a heart monitor.

My heartbeat was very weak. I could heart the monitor beeping. But it was not as strong was it should have been. I may not have been a doctor. But I knew how to spot a barely beating hear. And the fact it was probably broken did not help.

My heartbeat is weak as weak as I am. So I must have died at one point. My heart rate would not be this slow if I had not died, even just for a few minutes. It could be just be my imagination. But, something is definitely wrong.

The casual sound of doors being opened and closed was another sound that I could recognize. Some doors creaked and sounded old. When one door was opened another was closed. It all went around in my head.

As I lay there something inside me seemed to die. It wasn't something that had been alive and well before. But it had given up the struggle. Everything felt surreal. Every sound had me more certain that I was alive. But it did not stop me wondering why.

Do they know everything? It feels like there are people in the room. I can smell Noah. The same scent I have noticed every time I am near him. But why would he be here? No one should be here. I should be left to rot and die.

I slipped into an unconscious state. I guess I slept. But everything was so confusing I am not sure exactly what happened. I heard voices as I slept. I dreamed about a happy life. And then I had a nightmare. All in the one sleep.

"Jesse, baby. Are you in there? If you are, please come back to me. I need you." Noah's voice whispered into my ear. It no longer sounded like him though. It sounded broken, afraid but also very familiar.

It was the first time I knew someone was with me. I was happy, sad and afraid at the same time. His voice gave me comfort. But it also hurt to know he must have found out the truth. I was restless after that. Every time I tried to move or talk I failed. Nothing was working. My life was just lingering and I knew it.

"Please angel. Wake up. I know you love me, I have seen it every time you look at me. So I need you to wake up for me. I need you to know how much I love you" he said. I could hear his muffled sobs before he spoke again.