Chapter 29

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chapter status - edited 17/8/16

* 1 week later *

To my surprise Cameron hasn't tried to contact me at all since I've been back in LA.
It's kinda soothing to know that he may have moved on, but in a way it hurts like hell.

I get up and change into a pair of light wash ripped jeans. When I say ripped I mean there are rips everywhere. I wear a black turtle neck long sleeve top to match.
For shoes I wear a pair of all black Nike air max.

Today I was going to hang out at the old o2l house with all of the old magcon and o2l, sadly that means Cameron will most likely be there.

I also want to go there and confess to Kian about Dylan , I guess I kinda lead Kian on before I had proper feelings for Dylan.

I grabbed all the stuff I needed and headed for the house. I got into my car and prepared for the drive ahead.

I pulled up and parked my car outside of the house. I walked to the door, not knowing as to who would open it.

"Hey- oh, it's you" I said as I come to realisation that Cameron was standing 10 inches infront of me.

" oh , nice to see you too kiara " he mocked. I pushed my way passed him and went into the living room which is where I was met by all the boys.

" KIARAAAA" they all yelled, getting up and hugging me all at once.

" guys , I need air " I laughed, they all quickly got off and carried on with what they were doing.

I took a seat next to Matt, he's bæ.

" hey Matthew Beiber " I joked.

" THATS NOT FUNYYYY" he said crossing his arms and pouting.

" oh I'm sorry b" I said hugging him and giving him a kiss on the cheek. I could feel Cameron's eyes burning holes through us.

" I need to pee b-r- b " I said whilst getting up. I put my shoes by the front door and made my way to the toilet. I closed the door behind me a looked in the mirror , I tidied my hair up before heading back out.

I opened the door and collided with someone " sorry ......" I said
" joking sorry not sorry " I said when i realised it was Cameron.

" I can't stay away from you, and I have no clue how to win you back "

" well, if I was ever kidnapped, I would want you to be the first to find me. That would win me back. But in this case it'd be you kidnapping me so I have no clue " I said laughing, Cameron on the other hand just blankly stared at me.

" I love you too much to do that " he said pushing me back into the bathroom. I stood there baffled as I watched him lock the door. Before I could protest and try and escape his mouth was locked onto mine. At first it was a shock and I didn't kiss back but I caved in. He just gets me feeling some type of way and I can't help myself. It's like he puts a spell on me and turns my insides into jelly and gets me to do what he commands. Our kissing session was broken by a knock at the door.

" um I'm in here" I shouted, making sure Cameron stayed quiet .

" okay , foods ready so come quick " Matt called from outside the door. I thanked him and heard him leave.

" Cameron I can't keep doing this. You can't keep doing this. We can't keep doing this. I can't be mad at you one minute and then all over you the next." I sighed.

" then stop being mad"

" I would rather stop being all over you. Look. I kissed Dylan and spent my whole holiday with him. He made me forget about you and I was so close to moving on but you do this. Please tell me how you make me feel so good but so bad at the same time" I said whilst sitting on the toilet and running my hands through my hair.

" I guess love has that affect on people"

" Cameron don't you get it ? I don't love you. Well I do. But I don't want to love you! I want to move on but I fucking can't. It feels like I'm trapped. Please just give me space and when, if, I'm ever ready I'll come back for you. For now I need to focus on something other than you" I said which made him go silent. I walked passed him and opened the door, surprisingly he didn't stop me. I went to the table and sat with the guys, we all started eating and for the rest if the night there was no sign of Cameron. I didn't wanna hurt him I just got frustrated.

Right now we're all sitting down waiting a movie, Kian has been really flirty so I think I should tell him about Dylan.

" hey Kian can we talk"

" sure" he said but didn't move.

" in private "

" oh, sure " he said before following me up to his room.

" look Kian, I had feelings for you. Had. As in I no longer do. I sound like a bitch but you helped me through everything with a Cameron and I guess I thought I liked you. But there's this guy called Dylan and I'm really close to him, I'm sorry I just thought I should tell you" I said with no feelings. I'm just used to hurting people and getting hurt. Kian sat there in silence for a while before saying " it's okay, I met this girl too, she's really cool" I didn't believe him one bit but I went along with it. We both walked back downstairs and he sat with the guys. I had enough and just wanted to be alone so I said goodbye to everyone and left.
It was around 8:00pm but I didn't care. I took a quick shower , put some shorts and Cameron's hoodie on before going to sleep.

All I dreamt about was Cameron, I miss him . Maybe I shouldn't have pushed him away..

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