Would You ↪ Bradley Simpson

forty-two ↪ that time I broke down into your arms

My head was spinning when I walked out of the doctor's office. Everything around me looked blurred and I can say I forgot how to breathe properly. The moment I saw Luce and Kirstie talking with the boys, Brad included, I pulled the most sober face and small smile I could.

"See? Just getting sick, told you"

Bradley was quick to rush by my side and engulfed me in a warm hug, giving me a gentle squeeze. Even after I pulled away, his hand rubbed up and down my back in comfort. His voice was low and soft as he spoke. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Fine, I feel fine" I weakly smiled. "Just a little feverish"

The boy's eyes I loved so much scanned my face and he slightly nodded. "Let's get you home, then, shall we?"

B and I said our goodbyes and hopped in his car. I held my exam paper tightly against my chest and bit my lip nervously. How was I supposed to tell them? Bradley. How was I going to tell Bradley?! It was all so rushed, it would scare him off. After all we had been through, I was going to lose him just like that. And what for?

"You okay, love?"

I snapped out of my thoughts just to nod at my boyfriend with a small smile. His eyes curiously searched my face before he looked back ahead and pulled the car in front of my building. Brad stopped the vehicle and got off with me, following me into my flat. Waiting for us was a very excited Jesse, hopping around our feet with such joy. As the boy petted her, I made my way to the bathroom to refresh myself and head to bed with no second thought. I didn't want to think about all that anymore, I just needed to doze off for a bit.

"I promise you I'll get you out of this place" Brad's soft voice spoke in the dark when he made his way to my bed, Jesse wiggling her tail, following closely behind him.

"Mmh" I tiredly hummed. "I kinda like it here but yeah, maybe I should look for a new flat"

"We should look for a new flat, love. Or are you sick of me already?" Bradley half-joked.

I rolled over so I could face the boy and smiled at him, even though he couldn't see it in the dark. I stuck my hand out and gently caressed his warm cheek with one hand, and brushed my fingers in his messy locks of curls with the other. "Of course I'm not sick of you, B. I missed you"

"I know, baby. I missed you too" My boyfriend grasped the hand on his cheek and blew a few sweet kisses on my knuckles. "I won't leave again"

I let out a low sigh. "Don't say that, you don't know"

Bradley shifted closer and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me on his chest. His left arm coiled around my waist while his right hand gently caressed my hair, twirling the tips in his fingers soothingly. — "I know for a fact, actually. I don't think I could live without you. You always make sure I bring a hoodie with me everywhere I go because you know I'll be cold at some point and, I don't know how you do it, but you always get it right. You know how to soothe me when I have bad days, and how to light me up when I have good ones. My dog loves you, my family absolutely adores everything I tell them about you. God, I love you. Trust me when I say you make my life a little easier, you make it all better"

The tears stinging into my eyes fell the more he went on rambling about how much he adored me. Would he still think all those things? Would he still love me for me or just because of that one thing? Loads of different scenarios were bursting into my head, only one was good. The rest of them were...meh. I didn't want to lose him, but I didn't want to give up on our. . . future.

"Hey, pretty face, what's wrong?" Bradley's voice couldn't sound softer in the intimacy of the night.

I choked on my tears as his hands rubbed my back and arm respectively and soothingly. "B, would you still love me if-"

"Yes," the boy didn't even hesitate. "I would love you always. Did you not hear what I just said?"

I sniffed up and placed both my hands on my face. I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want him to look at me while I broke down like that, and for what? — "I know, I did, but...what if I said something to you and you don't like it because it's not what you want but I kinda want it but you don't and I don't want to give up on it and you-"

"What's up, baby?" Brad's voice was now more serious. "You know you can tell me everything"

"Not this!" I snapped for no reason at all. What was wrong with me? Just fucking say it.

The boy shifted slightly away from me and sat upright, his body facing me, as he crossed his legs and pulled me closer, raising my chin up with his fingers so I could look up at him. "What is it, love?"

I took a deep shaky breath and pressed my hands against my face further. "The doctor said not to worry. It could either be a cold or-" another shaky breath. "He wasn't sure, still needs more tests but he- said the word baby and I-"

The room suddenly fell silent. I didn't dare look up at the boy. He was awfully silent and it was genuinely killing me. I peeked through my fingers and saw him looking ahead with a frown. There you go. Bradley uncomfortably shifted on his seat and untangled his legs. I was so going to lose him. I was going to lose the best guy I've ever had. Good blow, Paige.

"You're-" his frown deepened visibly. "You're sad about it?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak any more. I just wanted to dig a hole and hide for the rest of my life.

"Wait" Bradley changed his position again, this time leaning closer to my shaky body. "You said you're scared this is not what I want but that you do want it. You want this?"

I tried to shift away from him but he was quick to grab my arms and pulled me so close I was sitting on his lap. "Look at me, love. Do you want this, with me? If that's the case, that is" he continued.

"With you? yes. But this..." my voice was low. I removed my hands from my face and looked at him. His face was incredibly hard to read, yet his eyes looked watery, at least of how little I could see in the dark. "I'm scared, B. I'm so scared"

Brad's soft lips were pressed on my own before I could even process he was kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and caressed the curls at the end of his head, trying to savour every moment left with my boyfriend before he decided to leave. My thoughts were interrupted by his lips pulling away and his forehead pressed on my own. "I've got you"