Alone Without You

23

TW's:
-Mentions pregnancy because of rape
-Panic attack/suicidal thoughts
-Mentions abandonment kid
-Self hate/disgust
-Mentions rape

Two weeks after we moved in in our new apartment, it was the first time I came outside again. Dream was with me luckily because I was way too scared to be alone. Days had been really rough and I had cried almost whole days long. Dream was always there to comfort me and he still wasn't sick of me.

We just came from the supermarket and we were walking home as I saw a person with a black coat and a hood over their head coming closer. Dream saw it too, but he looked away again, not caring about who they were. I kept looking at the person and they bumped into me, pushing a piece of paper in my hands. I startled really badly and Dream looked up.

'Watch out where you walk, you dumb arse,' Dream yelled at the person as we passed by.

Five minutes later we entered our apartment and Dream went to our room.

'I'm going to the toilet,' I lied. I wanted to look what the paper was, but I didn't want to get Dream involved yet.

'Okay, Georgie.'

He laid down in bed and I locked the bathroom door behind me, opening the paper. I started reading slowly and my stomach was hurting because of the nerves going through my body at this point.

Dear George,

You know George, do you know what you've done? You made me pregnant and you know, I'm not going to care at all for that baby. As soon as they are born, I'll drop them off at your place. I hate you, it's just all your fault. I don't want to be pregnant of such an idiot, but sure. I'm pregnant for four months now and I hate you more than anything.

Zoey

I stared at the letter in shock and I started shaking. This couldn't be true, this literally couldn't be true. Dream would leave me immediately if he knew, I was going to be a father. I didn't want to at all, I wasn't ready. I didn't want a baby and definitely not with her. I was raped and now I got a baby because of that. How did I ever explain anyone who the baby's mother was? A random girl I didn't even know who raped me?

I started hyperventilating loudly and crying within seconds.

'No, no, no, NO, NOOO,' I screamed, hitting my fist on the ground. I was breaking apart completely.

I heard Dream standing up and he knocked on the door. 'George, open the door.'

'No, no, I can't.'

'Georgie, I will kick the door in again. Please open up, you need me. You're having a panic attack.'

I grabbed the letter and tried hiding it somewhere, but I didn't know where. I put it in my pocket of my hoodie and I unlocked the door. Dream ran in and he kneeled on the ground next to me. I had panic attacks so often that Dream always knew how to calm me down.

'What's wrong, Georgie?'

I started shaking a lot and I broke down completely. 'Dream, I think it's better to leave me before you will get to know what's wrong.'

'Absolutely not, you can tell me everything. Nothing is too bad for me.'

'But this is, I promise you.'

'I'm not leaving you, I love you no matter what.'

'You're going to be so mad, I know you don't want this at all.'

'It's not about what I want, it's about what makes you feel the best.'

'You're going to be so mad.'

'I'm not going to be mad, I promise,' Dream said. 'I promise you on everything I have.'

I looked him in his eyes and it seemed like he really meant it. I took a really deep breath and I stared at my hands, sighed softly after. I was still shaking really badly and crying my eyes out, I didn't know how to tell him, but I still decided to do it. He needed to know this, I was his best friend. He had to know it before he found it out himself.

'Dream, I-I-I'm going t-to b-b-be a f-father.'

Dream turned silent and he looked at me in shock. He stayed quiet for a little, but then smiled at me.

'You're mad at me, I know you are. I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. I'm not ready to be a father at all and Zoey wrote me a letter. She told me that she doesn't want to take care of the baby, so she's going to give them to me immediately as soon as they get born. I can't take care of a baby and I'm sure you don't want to help me with it at all. I'm so sorry for ruining our relationship.'

Dream smiled at me. 'Can I hold your hand?'

I nodded slowly and he grabbed my hand, smiling at me softly. 'You're never alone in this. We are going to take care of the baby together. Since you're my best friend, I will treat the baby as mine too. They are going to be our kid.'

'Really?' I whispered.

'You're going to be the father of a beautiful baby and I'll always be here with you. Maybe this wasn't what our lives was supposed to be at all, but we can consider it our baby if you want to. Then maybe not officially, but I'm also going to be a father then.'

I smiled really shyly, wiping tears out of my face.

'I'm not ready to be a father,' I whispered.

'And that's why you're are never going to be alone in this. I'm with you.'

'But you're probably not ready either.'

'I wouldn't have chosen for it yet, but they are going to be a gift and I'll take that with my arms wide open. We are going to take care of the baby together, a beautiful boy or girl, looking a bit like you. I bet they are going to be so cute and amazing.'

'I'm so sorry,' I whispered.

'Don't be sorry at all. You're never alone.'

1021 words