Alone Without You

13

TW's:
-Mentions rape (description/flashback)
-Suicidal thoughts/self hate+disgust

Dream and I fell asleep while cuddling on the couch. I had drunk my tea before falling asleep and Dream sang for me again.

The next morning I woke up late and when I looked around me, I saw my parents already walking around here. I suddenly got really conscious about the fact I wasn't wearing a shirt and I was cuddling with Dream. Dream was still asleep and I looked at my parents. They smiled at me.

'Do you like each other?'

I shrugged and noticed I just really couldn't get any word out again. For some reason I could talk to Dream, but apparently to no one else.

'You're smiling, you like him,' my mum teased me a little.

I rolled my eyes and sat up, hiding my body with the blanket on top of Dream and me.

'I'll get you a shirt,' my mum said. She quickly walked upstairs and came back a minute later with a shirt for me. I pulled it on and I walked to the kitchen slowly.

'Are you okay, sweetie? I heard a lot of screaming and crying tonight. Did you have a nightmare again?'

I nodded and prepared myself some tea.

'Did he calm you down?'

I nodded again, grabbing the kettle which was now done. I poured it in my cup and made myself tea, laying down next to Dream after that. He was now slowly waking up and he smiled at me, not knowing my parents were here.

'Can I kiss your hair?' he whispered.

I nodded shyly, but also pointed at my parents.

'Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. Uh- I didn't notice.'

'Do you like each other?' my mum asked Dream now.

'Uh-.' Dream looked at me and I nodded so he knew he could tell them. 'We do like each other since we are best friends.'

'Are you in love?' my dad asked, he gave me a weird look, but didn't comment on it.

'We uh- we aren't. We are just best friends who like to cuddle,' Dream said quietly.

I saw my dad giving us a disapproving look and he crossed his arms. 'Are you gay?'

'Uh, we are not, sir. We are just friends.'

'And George?'

'He doesn't know, but we are just friends, sir.'

'Did you do anything together?' my dad said, raising his voice a little.

'Uh- no sir. We didn't do anything next to cuddling.'

'So you did cuddle?'

'Uh- yes sir,' Dream said nervously. He started talking really politely because I noticed he was a little scared of my dad.

'Calm down,' my mum said to my dad. 'It's fine, they are best friends and they can just cuddle. I accept them, so just calm down, okay? They can do whatever they want and if our son finds happiness, I will only support that.'

I smiled shyly, hiding my face in the hoodie Dream was wearing. 'I'm sorry, but I just really love your son since he's my best friend.'

My dad nodded slowly. 'I have to get used to that.'

We both nodded as my dad walked off and I hid my face again, starting to softly sob a little.

'It's fine, Georgie. Your mum accepts you.'

My mum walked closer to me and grabbed my hand. I startled really badly, pulled away immediately and hid my hand so she couldn't grab it anymore.

'I'm sorry, George. I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you no matter who you like.'

I looked up at her with a mad look. 'You aren't,' I suddenly said. I didn't know how I managed to say it, but my mum looked at me in shock.

'He talked,' she said to Dream.

'He talked to me too last night.'

'But George, I am proud of you, why wouldn't I be?'

I stood up without saying anything anymore. How dared she even tell me she was proud of me when she laughed at me when I told her my biggest secret. How nice she tried to be towards me now, I still hated her for what she did. If she just would have believed me immediately, I would have never been raped another time. She could have protected me when I needed her to, but no. She didn't even believe me and I was sick of all her lies.

I grabbed my coat, pulling it on to slam the door behind me after that. I started walking and walking and hid myself in my coat. I didn't want to live anymore, I honestly didn't. The feeling of self hate, the disgust I was feeling, the guilt, everything, it was killing me.

It was my own fault, it was all my own fault. It wasn't even counted as rape, we just had sex. I didn't fight back, sure I was in shock, but still. I didn't fight back so maybe she thought I wanted it. It was my own fault, it had always been. The first time was my fault just as this time.

I went with her the first time and yes, she tied my hands, she locked all doors and abused me as long as it took her to pull off my clothes, but still. It was my fault, because I went with her. I had never hated myself more than I did today. It was all my fault and I just wanted it to be over as quick as possible.

I kept walking as I suddenly felt a hand touch my shoulder. I flinched and hit the hand away, turning around in the hope to see Dream, but no. It was Zoey.

She smiled at me and grabbed my hand, piercing my skin with her nails.

'What about doing it for the third time?'

I started breathing faster and I tried pushing her away, but she didn't let go of me.

'You're coming with me, Georgie. Oh and by the way, let me tell you another secret. I miscounted the days, I could get pregnant,' she giggled.

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