Alone Without You

12

TW's:
-Panic attack (flashbacks/nightmares)

And again days continued like this, Dream was a little nervous around me since he was trying so hard to do the right things, but it made me realise I loved him a lot.

I was only still crying every night, screaming loudly about what happened. Dream always ran to my room to calm me down and this day was also such a night. It was really hot today and I still had to wear a shirt of myself.

I woke up sweating and screaming loudly. Within seconds tears streamed down my face and I started hyperventilating as I almost did every night. I heard footsteps running down the hall and my door opened. Dream came in and he climbed in my bed, rubbing my hair.

'You're sweating, George. I know you don't like taking your shirt off, but it's okay. You can pull it off, I promise you.'

I nodded slightly and I was too panicky to argue about it. Dream slowly took off my shirt and started softly singing songs to me. After a while his hand started softly stroking over my chest and he smiled at me.

'You're beautiful, Georgie. You're absolutely gorgeous. Can I massage you so you can feel calmer?'

I nodded slowly and held my eyes closed. Dream rolled closer to me and I could feel his hands softly rub my chest. At first I liked it, but suddenly I got back to the girl. I imagined the girl doing it to me and I started screaming loudly. Dream immediately stopped and wanted to hug me, but I pushed him away.

And then suddenly-.

'NO, NO, NO, STOP,' I screamed.

At first Dream was really surprised I talked and froze for a little, but he acted as if it was normal and hugged me again.

'George, keep calm, okay? I won't touch your chest again, I promise. Can you try and tell me what's going on?'

I shook my head.

'Are you mad at me? I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you like that.'

'Not mad,' I whispered.

'You're talking,' Dream said a little emotional.

'Y-yes.'

'Can I help you, George? I will not touch you again, I'm really sorry.'

'Downstairs.'

'Do you want to go downstairs for a little?'

I nodded and Dream lifted me up, holding my hand with permission as we walked downstairs. We sat down on the couch and I rested my head on Dream's chest. 'Tea?'

'I'll make you a cup of tea, Georgie. Can you stay here for a little?'

'Cold.'

'I'll get you a blanket and I will keep you warm after that, sounds good?'

I nodded and Dream walked to the kitchen to make me a cup of tea. He came back with the tea and cuddled up with me.

'I'm so sorry for touching your chest and scaring you that badly.'

'It's fine.'

'Are you sure? How can I make it up to you?'

'Cuddling.'

'Okay, I will be here to cuddle with you. You have an even more beautiful voice in real life,' Dream whispered, smiling shyly.

I smiled and blushed, hiding my face a little. 'I think I'm actually very happy that you're here with me.'

'Aww, that's cute,' Dream giggled. 'Can I hold you and kiss your hair or is that weird?'

I nodded and let Dream kiss my hair a few times in a row. 'You know I always said I love you to you?'

I nodded.

'I meant it,' Dream whispered.

'I love you too,' I whispered for the first time in my whole life. I never told Dream that I loved him, but I did. I genuinely did.

'You know I would never leave you for anything, right? I know something bad happened and I will never force you to tell what  happened, but I want to let you know that you can trust me. I would never laugh, I would never get mad, I would never tell anyone and I would help you in every single way I could.'

'You're just saying that, just as my parents did.'

'What?'

'The thing that happened, it happened twice. I told my parents about the first time it happened and they bursted into laughter and didn't believe me. Please don't ask them about it.'

'I promise you I will not ask them, I only want to hear it from you, no one else.'

'They hurt me so much inside,' I whispered. 'I wasn't lying, but they didn't believe me and laughed at me.'

'I'm so sorry to hear that that happened, that's really toxic and that's so wrong to do.'

'I'm just scared that you will do the same. They also always told me they would never laugh at me and they were always there for me.'

'But I promise you and I'm going to make that official. Do you have something which I can write on?'

I pointed at a drawer. Dream reached out and grabbed paper and a pen.

I promise George that I, Clay, would never laugh at anything he tells me and that I would be there for him every second of the day.

He signed it and gave it to me. 'I promised, if I break this promise you can kick me out and ban me from your life, but that's not happening, but I'm not breaking the promise.'

'Thank you, that means a lot. Dream?'

'Yes, Georgie?'

'What would you do if I let you cuddle with me?'

'I would cuddle with you if you are actually ready for it and you won't panic.'

'What if I want it?'

'Do you?'

'Yes.'

Dream smiled at me. 'Do you want to now?'

I nodded slowly.

'Are you a hundred percent sure?'

I nodded and smiled at him. He giggled and grabbed my hands, rolling closer to me. His face was hanging above mine and he was constantly smiling.

'Ready?' Dream asked.

I nodded and Dream pulled me closer than he'd ever done before. He rested his head next to my head and pulled me so close that I could rest my head on his chest. He just smiled brightly and giggled softly as we laid together.

'Do you like cuddling?' he asked shyly.

I nodded. 'Sorry for not doing much back, it's hard for me.'

'I understand, it's totally fine. I'm already happy I'm able to hold you.'

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