Alone Without You

22

TW's:
-Mentions rape (police)
-Mentions suicide attempt
-Mentions self harm wounds (stitches)

It was a few weeks later and today we would be moving into our new apartment. We had rent one a little ago and we were able to go in immediately. My parents helped us pack some stuff and Dream didn't need anything more than just his bags he brought with him to England.

I had been recovering from all my wounds and I got told that at least twenty of my cuts were stitched. The cut in my wrist was really deep and it would take months to fully heal.

I looked up at Dream, I was going to surprise him today. I still was traumatised as hell, I still screamed and cried everyday, I probably had around eight panic attacks a day at this point, but still. I wanted to be with Dream, although I was scared he didn't want to be with me now I was like this. I would just ask him about it.

Dream still didn't know I didn't want the police to investigate anymore. He thought we just didn't get called yet and I was going to tell him that too today. I just wasn't ready to trust the police anymore after they immediately didn't believe me.

It was noon when Dream and I went to our apartment together. Dream was with me all the time, he was extremely scared to leave me alone for just a second and even if I had to go to the toilet, he stood in front of the door to check if I wasn't doing anything bad. I didn't mind it, I could understand it after I tried taking my life.

Two hours later Dream and I were sitting in our new room and I was laying down like I was literally every second of the day. I looked up at Dream and I sighed.

'Dream?'

'Yes, Georgie.'

'I hid something for you,' I whispered.

'What?'

'I uh- before my suicide attempt uh- the police called me to say that Zoey withdrew from the police investigation and uh- I was planning on killing myself I did the same and I said I didn't want them to help me anymore. They just hurt me so much after what they did and I'm actually not ready for it,' I whispered.

'I understand it, Georgie. I'm not mad at you at all, I understand it. If you're not ready yet, you don't have to go there after they treated you like this, but promise me that we will go there quickly, because she's not allowed to do this again to anyone.'

I nodded. 'I don't trust them anymore after they didn't believe me.'

'Then we will go to a different police station.'

'I'm not ready for it yet,' I whispered.

'I will give you your time.'

'Thanks for not pushing me. I understand that it's dumb of me to not go to the police, but they won't believe me anyway, I can't get hurt another time. I'm recovering from my suicide attempt still. I know it's like months ago that she raped me again, but I just can't yet.'

'I know, Georgie. It's fine.'

'Can I tell you something else? Or more, can I ask you something else?'

'Of course.'

'I like uh- I'm just so scared that you don't want to be my friend anymore. I'd love to do more things together, but I really don't know if I'm ready. I really don't even think you want me when I have this many panic attacks, nightmares and flashbacks.'

'Georgie, you know I would love to do things with you, but I'll be waiting for you until you're ready for it. I want to visit places whenever you're ready.'

'Do you think I'm ready?'

'We can just move on really slowly.'

'In what way?'

'Take next steps really slowly. I'll let you firstly get used to me being with you a lot, then we can maybe go for a walk together and eventually we can go to the store or somewhere else.'

'Do you want to wait for me?'

'I would, I would wait for you with all love.'

'And even if it takes me half a year to even walk with you?'

'Even if it takes you ten years, I don't mind. I'm not together with you for that, I'm friends with you because I love you so much and you're amazing. I want to spend my life with such a great and amazing guy.'

'That means a lot to me,' I whispered. 'Then I think I might be ready.'

'Sure?'

'Sure.'

Dream giggled too and we laid down next to each other. 'When you were in a coma, I constantly played your favourite song to you and I sang the lyrics for you so I could remember you while I hoped you'd wake up from it.'

'That's so cute.'

'I knew you love that song and you liked me singing for you, so I constantly sang it to you.'

'That's so sweet of you,' I whispered.

'Do you want to listen to the song?'

I nodded and cuddled up with Dream. He grabbed his phone and he played the song for us, singing with it softly.

'Do you want to talk to Sap and Bad?' Dream asked when the song was finished.

After I attempted suicide, I started realising people actually cared about me and I called Sap and Bad everyday. I had posted a short tweet with a heart to show people I was still here, but just not posting for a little. All our fans accepted it fully even though they had no idea what was going on. We hadn't posted anything in literal months now, but I was happy they accepted that.

Dream called Sap and Bad and he looked at me. 'Shall we call them?'

I nodded and as soon as Sap and Bad accepted the call Dream surprised them and showed me on the screen too. I hadn't shown my face to them in months now since I was so insecure, but they got very happy. They started screaming loudly and happily and it gave me a small spark of hope and happiness again.

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