DAYLIGHT - K. Rukawa

fifteen

Chapter 15 : first person pov. Edited on 8th of January 2022.

I entered my classroom feeling something was wrong with me. My mornings aren't always great but they are not that bad either. But this morning all I seem to feel is emptiness. After the regular morning ceremony, I went to my usual classes. I didn't feel myself today, since I was getting distracted and I barely understood the lessons.

"L/N-san, you okay?" Akari beside me suddenly questioned.

I nodded, stopping myself from sighing because I don't want to sound rude.

"I think you're not. You're spacing out, what happened?" She asked persistently. She sat on the seat in front of me backward. It's a good thing that our first subject is already finished and we have a ten minute break before the second subject.

"It wouldn't hurt to share how you feel, L/N-san."

Akari is one of my classmates who can always keep up with me. We're not friends, maybe we are but we are not that close, to even hang out after school. But she's the only person here that I can talk to comfortably. Although I don't like sharing what I truly feel, she's persistent enough to know it.

"I just woke up and felt like my heart was heavy, Akari. I don't know, it feels like I'm missing something that I didn't actually know." I blew a fuse linking my arms together in my desk and leaning my head on it.

I felt Akari's hands gently ruffling my hair. For a minute, a brief silence was there. I couldn't think straight, I never really had someone dote on me like this. I mean before, Mitsui would always do this to me. After his practice, he will meet me outside and will dote on me like his favourite kouhai.

"But are you sure that you're missing something you don't know?" I heard Akari ask. "Maybe you just can't admit it, but you're missing something you knew that for you wasn't acceptable. So you chose to deny it and let yourself be blind by it. Am I right, L/N-san?"

I am not that dumb, not to understand that Akari wants me to realize something. It even felt like she could read me. Maybe she's right. That I was just denying things. This time, I looked at Akari smiling at me. I took a deep breath before smiling back at her. It somehow made me feel better.

"Yes. Thank you, Akari."

"You're always welcome, L/N-san."

I've been worse, and waking up with my heart suddenly feeling heavy should be normal for me. I'm at my weakest point sometimes, I don't casually show it, but emptiness has its way to be shown.

Before our second subject even started, I saw a familiar figure outside our classroom talking to our next teacher. It didn't help that the girls in my classroom started squealing upon seeing Rukawa outside our room. Akari glanced at me like she knew something. I nodded.

"L/N, you're excused for this class. Something happened in your club, you are needed there." Our sensei for our maths subject, announced.

"Thank you, sensei." I nodded at her and simply waved a hand to Akari which surprised her a bit, but then she waved back and smiled at me.

I rushed towards the hallway, and I found Rukawa leaning on the white walls. Avoiding contact with the girls. I started to get anxious, right after sensei told me that something happened. What exactly is it?

"Rukawa," I called. "What happened?" I felt my hands trembling while looking at his deep blue eyes. It was almost electrifying, that although I've seen it near so many times it always felt new whenever he's around.

"Mitsui..." that was the only thing he said that got me rushing to the gym immediately. He walked after me, while I was running furiously towards the gym.

This got me in the morning, seeing a photo of me and Mitsui. I don't believe that it symbolises something, but waking up with a heavy heart, a sorrow inside me that I couldn't seem to sort out made me feel so uneasy. And now that I realise how furious I am running towards the gym, has made me understand what I am really feeling. I need to settle things.

"Mitsui..." I muttered under my breath, Sakuragi had him leaning on the wall of the basketball gym.

"F/N-chan! Megane is still calling Ayako-san and Gori. I found Mitsui with Tetsuo's group. I called you first that's because-"

"What happened!?" I yelled as I walked towards Mitsui. "Why did you get yourself hurt again?" I almost whispered the last part. I felt strange shouting, so I lowered my voice a bit.

"Sakuragi-kun, please have the first-aid kit ready for me." I blew a fuse, as Sakuragi-kun hurried beside Mitsui, he rushed towards their clubroom, it was a flash that he came back so fast. "Thank you," I muttered.

"You've quitted it right?" I asked Mitsui as I started to roll up his sleeves, I flinched at the sight of purple marks around his arms, he got bags under his eyes and the punch marks have made it worse by highlighting it.

He looks so devastated, unlike the Mitsui who came back for practice after the huge commotion that got me involved. It felt like he became a different person again.

Mitsui... Why are you always lying to me? It became his habit of lying for my sake. For everyone's sake, because he wants everything to be kept by himself. One of the things why I understand Mitsui, and why I tried so hard to because a part of me sees myself within him.

"F/N, I'm sorry." I saw his tears welling up from his eyes, his injuries are not that bad, but it does look like that he really got himself caught up. I only sighed, getting my handkerchief from the side pocket of my skirt. I bend on my knees as I hand him my handkerchief.

"Mitsui, I don't understand." I said. I continued to aid him, even when I felt Rukawa's presence behind me. And I also heard Akagi-san's arrival with the other members of the club.

"Why are you always returning to me like this?" I felt my voice break, as I heard a few gasps behind me. Mitsui lowered his gaze, not wanting to look me in the eyes. "You always involve yourself with things that you knew would hurt you badly, why? Is that because you always saw me coming after you? Is that because I was always there to aid and cure you?"

I shake my head, uneasy. I gazed at Mitsui again, tilting my head a bit.

The last time I saw Mitsui crying was in front of Anzai-sensei, but before that happened, he cried in front of me because of his injury in his first year in Shohoku that got him caught up, deciding to quit basketball after I told him that his injury might take more than a year to recover.

[ author's note ]

Boo, too much drama for Mitchi I guess? Anyways, we got flashbacks for the next chapters. And this is turning to Rukawa x Reader x Mitsui, so I might end the drama after that.

This fanfiction is just me getting frustrated about Rukawa as my main, and Mitsui becoming my main (bias) wrecker.