Silvanna Snape {Marauders}

Chapter Twenty-Nine

If I've said it once I've said it a million times. I am not responsible for my actions when Helen McCrory is on the screen. :)

The November full moon passed. The boys continued reading their dusty books, and Silvanna had a feeling that they were actually researching something. She didn't want to know what.

December came, and with it the snow and the Christmas decorations. Silvanna was really starting to hate this time of year; it meant going home. As per usual, McGonagall hovered around where she sat alone in the common room, writing a letter to her mum. She'd tactically placed herself both in Silvanna's line of vision and Sirius's.

To Silvanna's immense surprise, Sirius huffed and got up from his seat, approaching McGonagall. "Room for me, Professor?" he asked with a bright grin.

"If you must," said McGonagall with a stiff smile, scribbling his name down.

He headed back to his seat, and Silvanna caught his wrist. "Just so you know, my brother's going to torment you over the holidays about being cowardly," she said quickly. Sirius opened his mouth in protest but she carried on. "No, he will because that's what I say to him all the time. You have my blessing to talk about me and my mum on any such occasion."

Sirius's confused and slightly angry look turned into one of elation. He nodded, grinning, before striding back to the other boys. Silvanna turned back to her letter, only to be disturbed.

"Snape, will you be staying?" It was McGonagall, for the third time that evening. Silvanna sighed. This wasn't even mildly annoying anymore, it was downright pissing her off. Why did McGonagall care so bloody much? It had turned into a battle of wills. Who will snap first?

"No thank you, Professor," said Silvanna. Then, taking a leaf out of Sirius's book, "Although I am honoured that you're so adamant about spending your Christmas with me. Do come by and visit again." She turned back to her letter, only to be made aware of a pool of silence around her.

"That's a detention, Snape," said McGonagall. "Less of the cheek, if you don't mind."

As soon as McGonagall had left, the boys hounded her, collapsing into chairs around her. "Why did you say that?" asked James, wide-eyed with awe.

"It wasn't even that bad," said Silvanna, folding her letter away and looking up at them.

"Yeah, it was," said Remus.

"That was worse than the time James called her old!" exclaimed Peter.

Silvanna eyed Sirius carefully. "How come you decided to stay then?"

He shrugged and sat back. "Sick of everyone pissing me about at home." It still felt weird to hear such a posh voice swear.

"You do know it makes it worse in the summer?" she said, raising her eyebrows.

Sirius shrugged. "Lay off him a bit," said James. "I think it's bloody brave of him."

Silvanna stared at him. "Are you calling me a coward?"

"What?" said James. "No! -I-"

"What so he's brave for staying, but I'm brave for leaving?" she challenged, drawing the attention of a nearby group of fourth years. "Not very logical of you, who'd have thought you were so thick?" She could feel something bubbling in her chest, something that was seeping out and threatening to burst all at once.

Remus, who had been watching her, confused, put his hand on the table gently. "Calm down, Silvanna," he said gently. "No one's saying anything against you."

The feeling inside Silvanna bubbled more. "Oh, go fuck yourself," she snapped, before storming up to her dorm.

There was only Lily in there, and she smiled at her as she entered. Silvanna scowled and stormed over to her bed, pulling the curtains around her aggressively. She was plunged into a dim light.

Why the fuck was everyone so against her all the bloody time? Severus was abandoning her, forcing her to go and face their dad alone. McGonagall was up her arse about everything. Sirius, who she thought actually understood what she was going through, had left her to go it alone. And Remus - Remus - had taken his side on it. She felt like shit. She felt like she just wanted to run away and be alone forever and ever.

*****

"Are you almost finished?" asked McGonagall from where she was marking essays on her desk.

Silvanna, who had been scowling all evening as she ordered the bookshelves, looked over. "They're ordered by level, then alphabetised by author," she said, and McGonagall nodded, putting her quill down.

"Have a seat, Snape," she said. Silvanna obliged, slumping into a chair in the second row. McGonagall stood in front of the first. "How are you finding second year?"

"Fine," said Silvanna. This was the truth - the lessons weren't all that much harder than last year. "Professor," she added.

McGonagall nodded. "How are things at home?" This was quite possibly the bluntest McGonagall had ever been, and it surprised Silvanna. Caught her off guard.

"F-fine," she stammered, knowing she looked suspicious. "Yeah, it's fine."

McGonagall gave her a look of sympathy, and Silvanna squirmed, hating it. "Is that why your brother stays here every holidays?"

"I don't know why he stays, it's not my business," said Silvanna, thinking of the nasty tripping jinx she was going to fire his way next time she saw him. "My dad always says we have to go home."

"And is that why you never stay?"

No. "Yes."

McGonagall nodded. "Does your dad cause you a lot of bother?"

Yes. "Not really," she said with a shrug.

"I did visit your house, you were right," said McGonagall. "Your dad told me you were quite the miscreant at home."

Silvanna snorted softly. "I take it that's not his exact wording?" But she was quite embarrassed he'd said that. Maybe she should put more effort into behaving.

The corners of McGonagall's lips twitched. "No," she said. She paused. "You do know you can talk to me if something's bothering you? That's what we teachers are here for."

Silvanna forced a smile, the feeling bubbling in her chest once more. Why was she always interfering? "You know I love our little chats, Professor," she said, perfectly neutral.

McGonagall nodded, turning back to her desk. "You can go," she said. Silvanna rushed away, walking as fast as her legs could go.