Light Of My Life

What Could've Been

You guys still there? You've been silent. Which is fine! I'm just wondering if everyone's doing okay. How are you doing?

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Words: 2,029

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There's something about darkness. The absence of light. It's nothing and everything at the same time. You can't see anything so you can see whatever you want. Sometimes things you don't want. Or maybe that's just the ramblings of an old man.

Richard sighs heavily and stares out into the rain. The hospital behind him is as loud as usual but he pays it no mind. Devyn hasn't even come inside. All the calls where they can't save the person is tough but this one...it's a bit more so for her.

Devyn's never spoken to Richard about her past much but he knows. He knows she saw herself in that girl.

"694 Green Wood Drive. OD, nine-teen year-old female. Unresponsive." Richard has the sirens turned on before the address is completely over the radio. He can see Devyn sitting straighter in her seat from the corner of his eyes and he glances at her. It's a quick look, but it's enough for him to see the look on her face.

"You good?" He asks when they near the house, eyes glued to the road.

"Yeah," Devyn replies stiffly.

Richard hadn't believed her. Even if he didn't know her as well as he did, he wouldn't have fallen for the poor lie. But he didn't question it because they pulled up to the house. He needed to focus on the job, someone was counting on them in that moment.

"In here," A frantic boy waves Devyn and Richard into the house, rushing to lead them to the bathroom. "I-I told her to go easy but she..." He trails off while Devyn falls on her knees next to the unconscious girl. "She wouldn't listen."

"What did she take?" Devyn demands while Richard takes his place on the patient's other side.

"I don't know, a lot of stuff,"

"Show me!" Devyn demands hotly and the boy nods before running off.

Maria had been the girl's name. She never even made it to the hospital. Maybe it's harsh to say, but it had been a lost cause from the start. Maybe if the boyfriend had called sooner, maybe they could've gotten there quicker and saved her but...Richard shakes his head and sighs heavily.

Picking up his feet, Richard moves outside and towards the ambulance. He stops at the back, looking in through the open doors, and clears his throat. Devyn doesn't look up from her position on the gurney, her head in her hands.

"This isn't on you," He speaks up after a moment and moves to climb into the ambulance when Devyn shakes her head. "It's not. She chose to take those pills."

"Yeah, and so did I," Devyn finally lifts her head. The motion is so fast Richard blinks. Shaking her head again, Devyn sniffs and wipes her eyes. "That could've just as easily been me. She didn't deserve this."

"I'm not saying she did," Richard responds softly. Of course that's not what he's saying. He'd never think that. But that doesn't mean she has to hold this on her shoulders. "That doesn't make it any more your fault."

Devyn sucks in air and rubs a hand down her face before releasing the shaky breath. "Come on, our shift is over." Richard nods towards the exit and holds his hand out for Devyn. The young woman sighs before taking it, letting him pull her to her feet.