MORE, james potter ✔

interlude: james' side

INTERLUDE
( JAMES' SIDE )

 "You're so blind!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms out before she turned to face him fully. Blinking back tears as she carried on, "Merlin, you're oblivious. You said you liked me more than friends and then you go on a date with Lily. You don't meet up with me to tell me this was a joke which is frankly a cruel prank even by your standards. You act like you didn't say that you loved me and wrote that stupid letter that just confesses everything. You're just so dumb, James and I'm sick of just bein' strung around. I've got feelings and my heart keeps being stamped on. I love you but clearly you just don't love me back and I need to accept that. I was accepting that until you decided to prank me! I'm so stupid to be in love with you. You're like every other guy." Ella said, her voice wavering and cracking as her eyes filled with tears. Her nose running and she was quick to sniffle, wiping her nose as she turned away. A soft sigh escaping her lips.

"I-" James began but Ella gave him a harsh look. He was briefly stopped by her harsh gaze, unsure how to even respond. He wanted to explain but it felt like she didn't want to hear it.

"Don't bleedin' lie to me, James!" She shouted and he swallowed his pride, taking another deep breath as he decided what to say.

"I thought I loved her, El. She asked me out and I just said yes. I wasn't even thinking after so many months of thinking I wanted her. You know that I cared for her. What... What I'm trying to s-," James muttered He opened his mouth to continue but he was shoved. He stumbled, not expecting it and giving her a look that portrayed his shock perfectly. It was almost comical. He just wanted to tell her the truth but she wasn't letting him say it. She couldn't tell her because she didn't want to hear it.

     "Get out." She said as she shoved him again. Her wand being pulled and she waved it, the door opening for him. He looked at her and tilted his head, opening his mouth to try and argue back. Ella just shook her head, "Just get out. I don't want to hear it, James. My life is already fallin' to pieces. Just don't make it worse," She said as she pushed him out. He stumbled back, catching himself on the stair case and Ella slammed the door in his face.

     James stood there, the pit in his stomach growing and then he heard her sob through the door. The heart-breaking sound of her breaking down and he wanted nothing more to open that door again and tell her that he loved her. That what happened with Lily didn't mean anything, that he was confused yesterday but now he understands but he didn't. She needed to be away from him. He was ruining her.

     James walked down from the dorm and entered the Common Room. The buzz and chatter of the room causing his heart to jump into his throat. His eyes pricking with tears before he cleared his throat, blinking them away. He sent the boys a smile before gesturing for them to leave. Peter and Sirius happily got up to head out to Hogsmeade while Remus said he'd stay.

     James didn't notice the boy had followed until he was lying face down on his bed and he heard the door. Remus frowned as he watched his friend. He heard the soft sob that escaped his lips and walked over, kicking the door shut behind him. If James was hurting, Remus was going to try and help. James was his best friend after all.

     Remus sat on the edge of the bed as more sobs left James' lips. He was never usually one to cry but this, it was something he couldn't help. He buried his face in his arms, stopping Remus from seeing as the boy gently rubbed James' back. He was going to be there until James calmed down and then they could talk about this because they needed to. It was getting out of hand.

     Once James' sobs had turned to silence, he rolled over. His eyes were red and puffy, tears streaking his cheeks and he tried his best to wipe them away. His knees being pulled up to his chest as Remus watched him, frowning deeper.

     "Mate, what happened?" Remus asked softly as he watched James' face. Every small reaction gave Remus and insight but he needed to know. The pains of his own life be damned, he needed to sort this out for both of them. He had seen them both without each other and they were bloody miserable. Remus couldn't see them miserable anymore.

     "She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't want to see me anymore. At all." James said, his voice cracking as he once again swallowed the lump in his throat. He pushed his fingers through his hair and let his breathing slowly come back to normal, "I really fucked it up. I don't understand anything. Not my feelings or Lily or Ella... Nothing," James ranted, his arms wrapping around his head as the tears pricked his eyes again. They were ready to fall but he didn't want them to. He was acting so pathetic, crying so much. It was just a girl. Just a girl he had unknowingly loved his entire life but could never tell her.

     "You don't love Lily, Prongs. You just don't," Remus said and James lifted his head. Confusion etched across his face as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. A soft sigh escaped Remus' lips and he then gestured to his trunk, "Ella's jumpers, her presents, you've been stressing about her birthday present and her birthday isn't until August. You never did this with Lily. You never cared this much. It's obvious that you're in love with Ella and not the other way," Remus clarified and James shrugged. He scrubbed his face with his hands, wishing the tears would go away. He felt stupid.

     "It doesn't matter if I love Ella or not, she doesn't want to talk to me, she doesn't want to be around me. She doesn't like me anymore. She didn't let me finish! She thinks that I was just pranking her, I wasn't. I was, I was trying to tell her that I loved her but I fucked it up. Fucking hell," James said, swearing a lot more than he usually would. His anger getting to him as he gripped his head. He wished he could turn back time and just tell her that night at Christmas that he loves her and then this would all be fine. He could be with her.

     "You can talk to her, tell her you love her but just wait a day and then speak to her, properly. She loves you, James. You love each other, you just need to prepare and tell her, properly this time. It'll be fine. She doesn't hate you, Prongs. She never could." Remus said as he reached out to James. He pulled him into a hug, James relaxing and hugging back. A soft mumble of thank you escaping his lips. He was right, Remus was right. They would speak again. Ella would speak to him again and it would be fine, it would be fixed. He could finally do what he was supposed to or at least, try to.

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𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 ! okay i don't usually do this with like rewriting scenes from someone else perspective but i thought it would be good to do it for this scene so everyone can understand where james is coming from or really just what happened! there's not a massive difference but it just gives a slight insight into james' feelings which is what i love to do with these, i would put them with chapters but ya know they're detached from the story in a way ( since they're more focused on james' perspective ) so it seems slightly illogical