thirty | Scars I I listened to experience while writing this chapter if you'd like to try it.
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ᴠɪᴇɴɴᴀ
The man looked just as I remembered.
God I could never forget how he looked..
His brown eyes swirled with hidden emotions, hidden behind colors of the earth. Colors of molten gold pried from the ground filling a mold to become a sword, honey spread across toast on early mornings, the sun just as its about to set, casting warm rays that rivals the warmth of hell. Smoke and ash slipping through the folds of reality to fight in an endless dance behind the falling stars of the night, the fire below them all flickering to make the shadows come to life, forcing those around it to become intoxicated by the smell, by the sight that was the burning flame. Get too close and you'll burn, but that never stopped me from loving him.
His face, peppered with scars from long ago, his brow furrowed as he took in all that was my crumpling body he held so carefully. I never deserved his careful touch, but he spared his limited supply for me, and I never asked why. I never wanted him to rethink every decision he made, every action he took for me, for us. I never wanted him to regret choosing me, I never wanted him to regret protecting me, saving me from the hell that I trapped myself in.
"Vienna..," He said, his voice warm, radiating warmth that made me feel whole after being broken for so long. He made me feel warm after being in a blizzard for years, frostbite nipping at my heart, threatening to destroy everything that made me human, that made me alive. He made me feel alive.
"Sapnap." I thought, unable to say it aloud, my mouth frozen in a silent cry the world would never hear. My heart stuttered, my breath hitched, I stopped thinking all together, my mind occupied with the image of him, of Sapnap, the man I killed. No one seemed to stay dead, not even when you watched the life drain from their eyes, the blood stop seeping from their crippled bodies.
"Sapnap-" Breathy, and barely audible, but he heard it, I heard it. I fold into the man, taking in everything that I missed so much, but I couldn't smell the sword polish and smoke he wore like a cologne, there was nothing there. I couldn't care less, not in this moment, not when he was alive, he was alive.
My eyes fill with tears, streaming down my face as Sapnap's arms wrap around my frame, holding me closer to him, clutching to the fabric of my sweater Jschlatt picked out.
Where was Jschlatt? He was just here, wasn't he?
"Shh," Sapnap coos, his hand running through my hair, though I couldn't feel it. I just knew that he was doing it. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere.." My tears fell down his shirt, but never soaked into the white fabric. It was like none of this was real. I hoped this was real.
