Hello! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!
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Kakashi's POV
Kakashi had been out on a mission for the past month. He'd been away from the village, blaming himself for getting so close to people who would only leave him. He didn't know what else to blame himself for, to make sure that even his subconsious knew it was his fault.
Not Shikamaru's fault, because Shikamaru kept saying that if he hadn't left Hikaru, Hikaru wouldn't have gone missing. Kakashi had different views.
He should have been there. He should have realized Hikaru was in danger, and now one of his best friends was more than likely dead because it's been six months, and they were so close to calling it.
So he laid in bed at night, adding another name to the collection of people who grew on him and died. It made five, or six, or seven and he didn't even know.
He blamed himself the most. Kakashi had been the one to witness the carnage Hikaru left behind, which was at least 40 Kumo and Kiri nin dead and a very few injured in a way that would never be recovered.
He'd been a few moments too late. Just a few, because if it were any more than that, Kakashi would hate himself even more.
He stared blankly at the ceiling of his apartment.
It had been six months since he'd seen Hikaru- he missed the rare smiles and the color of his eyes, and the attitude the other had. He missed and longed for another chance, just like he had with Rin and Obito and everybody he'd ever lost.
Kakashi had learned to live with grief, but somehow, now it was thicker than it had been. He supposed it was because he'd been closer to Hikaru than he was with his teammates.
His eye drifted shut, and he sighed softly.
It was then he felt it.
A flicker of warm, familiar chakra with no signature that brushed outwards somewhere in the village. Kakashi's first thought after he'd sat up was that it was Hikaru. His next thought was that it was a figment of his imagination. He'd had it happen before with Obito, so why wouldn't it happen now?
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He stood at the memorial stone, glaring at the newest names that had been added to it- Hikaru's wasn't one of them. It had been a solid two days since he'd got home and Tsunade had put him on required rest for the next two weeks.
Kakashi supposed it was fair, considering he'd been gone for a month, but he still despised it. He needed to move, he needed a distraction because the one thing that was keeping him up at night was in the hospital.
He couldn't bring himself to go. He couldn't, therefore he wouldn't. Simple as that.
If he saw Hikaru right now he would break down in tears, and Kakashi had pledged to never let anybody see him like that again.
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Kakashi stood in the waiting room. He didn't know why exactly he was here, but his students had looked so happy after they'd left Hikaru's room that he couldn't not be here. And then Ino had walked out, teary-eyed.
Kakashi had told himself to wait a day.
It ended up being two.
Kakashi strolled up to the receptionist and asked for the room number of Hikaru, and once she gave it to him he lazily strolled up the stairs. Well, as lazily as he could seem, visiting someone who he thought was dead dead dead-
It could be the world's cruelest joke, and Kakashi could find himself to be the fool. It could also be a genjutsu despite the blank chakra signature he was steadily walking towards.
He arrived at Hikaru's door, pausing slightly to take a deep breath. Kakashi pushed away the thoughts of Hikaru being merely a genjutsu or a prank.
He found himself knocking, hearing a small 'come in' before entering.
Kakashi swung open the door, quickly taking note of the exits before staring at the person sitting in the hospital bed. It stung at his heart, his entire mind going completely barren.
He needed a second, just a quick second.
Hikaru looked... different. His violet eyes were more shadowed over, his scarlet hair reaching about elbow-length. There was a new scar on his collarbone, bandages wrapped around his shoulder, as well as a strange scar wrapped around his neck. His fingers had aquired even more scars- some near his fingernails, others a glaringly pink near the base that spoke of newly being cut off.
He stepped in and closed the door, standing in the middle of the room. Everything was surreal, and even though he saw Hikaru, he couldn't quite process what exactly he was seeing.
He blinked. Then blinked again, seeing Hikaru's mouth open and close as if he had nothing to say for himself after being gone for six months. Kakashi found himself doing the same, searching for something to say that filled the silence, but his throat had gone dry.
"Hikaru..?" He found himself saying, hating how his voice sounded so weak, and he hated the fact that he couldn't bring himself to move.
No. He can wallow in guilt of not being there later. For now, Hikaru was right in front of him, looking so real. It would be the world's second worst genjutsu that would be placed on him if he wasn't real.
"Yeah." Hikaru said- he even sounded exhausted, but his voice was warm with soft laughter and Kakashi had missed it. What he'd missed even more was the smile that followed afterwards, and how the hell could Hikaru just smile so- so casually like that?
Like he hadn't been gone and wasn't in a hospital bed right now. Like he hadn't literally arrived and changed Kakashi's world and just... left.
Kakashi took a small step towards Hikaru, then another and another and another. Then he was somehow sitting down in the chair closest to Hikaru. He resisted the urge to pick up Hikaru's hand, staring at his purple eyes that were so dark, and he's changed.
There wasn't a person out there that could make a genjutsu that allowed Hikaru's eyes to be the color they are right now. There was no genjutsu, and this wasn't the world's sickest joke, and this was Hikaru that was sitting like- like an idiot.
"You're alive."
The words had flown out of his mouth without his permission, and he hated how he sounded like he was going to start crying. He hated how weak it sounded, hated how it was a whisper and not at all-
"Yes." Hikaru's hand twitched, and Kakashi found himself staring at Hikaru's fingers. "I am."
Kakashi's fingers brushed against Hikaru's- so impossibly cold and small and looking like he was just bones. But it just solidified the fact that Hikaru was here.
Hikaru was alive.
He was alive.
"Where'd you go?" Kakashi asked, finding himself unable to pull his fingers away from Hikaru no matter how much his brain screamed at him too. He looked up at Hikaru's eyes again, seeing the color and the shadows that wreathed beautifully in it and Kakashi finally let himself admit what he'd known since he'd first considered the other one of his friends.
"I was kidnapped by Kiri shinobi." Hikaru said, and Kakashi could hear the lump growing in the other's throat. "I missed you."
Hikaru's voice broke, and Kakashi could see that the other was holding back tears. It was more heartbreaking than anything that Kakashi had really ever felt, seeing the other struggle to be strong. Kakashi knew what it was like to struggle to be strong, even when it was safe for him to relax, because that was how he worked.
Hikaru didn't work like that. He'd had enough of being strong to last three timelines over.
In that moment, he decided that he would be at Hikaru's side every step of the way, even if the other had absolutely no idea.
Kakashi's eye curved into a hesitant eye-smile. "Maa, I missed you too, Hikaru."
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Hikaru's POV
He'd gotten his old apartment back.
So, here he was, standing outside the door with his key in his hand, unwilling to open the door. He didn't want to be faced with memories of before he'd been like... this. Of before he'd wallowed completely in self-pity.
He took a deep breath and opened the door, stepped in, and closed it.
Hikaru was met with stale air, dust, and frosty breath. There were old, extremely long-faded scents of his team and Kakashi, a bit of a frusteration about them. He was just glad that they'd put everything back.
He sighed, and walked to his cold bedroom, setting his new Konoha hitai-ate down, along with sliding off his jonin vest. It had been odd walking home after so long spent in the dark and not moving, but he'd managed to remember where it was.
Hikaru opened the window, letting fresh air billow in. There was still a little spark of excitement in him whenever he smelled Konoha in the winter, but he'd pushed that away.
He was 'safe', or so his brain thought. So he begun processing what the hell had happened to him when he was in the dark. There were moments he'd blocked out completely, others he remembered with vivid recollection.
Like how he couldn't seem to get rid of the saltwater that poured off of him in waves, nor could he get rid of the fact that closing his eyes was more comfortable, more safe. It told him that not seeing people was okay, that he would be fine with every other sense but sight.
He'd spent six months like that, after all.
Not seeing his own torture helped him much, much more than one would think.
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It was night time, and he sat in the hospital bed. He hadn't gotten discharged quite yet-- it would be in the next two or so days.
He missed Kakashi, in all honestly. He really had. Hikaru would be lying badly if he said that he hadn't missed him at all.
But almost breaking down in front of him like that would've been bad. Hikaru didn't like crying in front of others as it reminded him too much of his time with Hamasaki and he hadn't even processed all of what happened to him.
But... seeing Kakashi.
Hikaru sighed harshly as his mind pointed out everything that he'd done to Kakashi. For example, they'd gotten into an argument multiple times. He'd had a panic attack in front of the other, had anger issues, problems, not to mention he caused a fucking war.
Yeah. So as far as that went, he'd run away multiple times, left frequently, and had been 'dead' for six months.
And, of course, he wasn't an idiot. He knew that Kakashi thought of him as a good friend, but Hikaru also knew that he's done idiotic things to the other. It didn't help the fact that it was only now that his brain was being extremely unhelpful.
He couldn't. Severly couldn't, especially with this line of thinking.
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Hello! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It feels so odd writing '2021' now.
Original: 11/30/2020
Edited: 1/18/2021
This chapter contains 1897 words!