𝑹𝒊𝒕𝒂 𝑶𝒓𝒂 - 𝑶𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝑾𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖
𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢
𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑦𝑒𝑎ℎ
𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑏𝑜𝑑𝑦 𝑏𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑤
𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝐼 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑦𝑒𝑎ℎ
I was heading towards my classroom when a familiar voice called my name from behind. I was surprised to see It was Blake's mother I had apologized to Mrs. Regio when my initial anger came down and I realized that it was wrong of me to snap at her for no reason, she is superior and I should have been respectful towards her but not to Blake's mother.
"Good morning, Mrs. Pullman..." I gave her a little smile in acknowledgement.
"Miss Honey, right?"
"It's Miss Sinclair to you."
"Oh okay. I joined these classes for young mothers. Your name came up..." She must have bitched about me. "They said I had been negligent toward Blake and he could have been hurt pretty badly. So that was on me. So I wanted to apologize to you for demanding to have you fired." I arch my brow at that. "Now your turn."
"My turn for what?" I ask flatly.
"Your turn to apologize to me, duh..." She rolled her eyes. "You could have used a gentler tone with me.." She pointed batting her eyelashes at me. But I didn't budge.
Helen jumped into the conversation, appearing out of thin air handling the situation her way and successfully scaring out Mrs. Pullman with her over-enthusiasm.
Instead of thanking her for intervening, I walked away from her stalling the inevitable. But I'm never that lucky and she caught up to me. "So this guy..." She began with her nonsense as she did for the past week. And again today with more emphasis since it's Friday and she thinks I don't have anything to do. Which I don't. But she doesn't know that. And now I have to go on another date to prove the point that Gian isn't the monster she thinks he is.
"Helen, please. Now you are bullying me. I understand you are trying to change your selfish ways. But this is way too much, okay." I hurried my steps toward my classroom but she kept following. Grabbing my elbow she stopped me.
"I have been selfish my whole life and NOW I have a job, a boyfriend, a car, and a roof over my head that blocks my upstairs neighbor's footfalls. Why can't you be selfish for once." She argued, perching her hand on her hips looking at me with a frown like she can't figure me out.
I shook my head and touched her arm as I spoke "You want me to go but I am not going. I choose myself over your wishes. This is me being selfish." I tried to reason with her.
"Well, that's your disguise, Zara. You are still doing this for him, to prove a point.." I avert my gaze but she cupped my chin turning my head to look at her. "Be selfish, Zara. For once forget what your morals want you to do. Follow your heart. Go on that date. And what's there to lose, I know you are the kind to split the bill-"
"You don't?" I deadpan.
"Focus, Zara. Just 2 days, one tonight today and the other one tomorrow. And I won't bother you with this thing again."
"Fine..." I sigh, she beamed at me and gave me a tight hug. Mr. Romano, Bilson's replacement shook his head in disappointment to watch us wasting our time here like this, instead of doing our jobs. I give Helen a sharp look for embarrassing me but she just winked.
*****
I chose to arrive at the restaurant myself. Tonight's date was Tucker. And he was 5 minutes late. Helen sent me a picture of him. He was a trainer at the gym she had just joined with David. Very handsome and sexy, in Helen's words but I didn't see the appeal.
10 minutes later, he arrived wearing a black shirt that was testing the strength of the seems, It was deliberate to show his bulging biceps and broad shoulders. Not like Gian whose clothes used to hug him perfectly. With sleeves rolled up, his hand showcased his inks, more of them were peeking from under the collar of his shirt. The ones on his neck were colorful, and the tattoos on his hands were an awkward greyish color. Gian didn't have a single tattoo on his body.
"Tucker" he introduced himself in a gravelly voice, giving me a chin lift like I'm one of his gym buddies. His dirty blonde hair was unruly and unkempt in a bad way. I hadn't been looking forward to being impressed but I was totally disappointed.
The manner he pulled the chair for him, screeching it like chalk in a blackboard. The way he called the waiters, didn't look at them as he ordered. The final nail in the coffin I had happily brought with me before it even stepping foot in the restaurant was this.
"Oh come on. It's your birthday, Zara. You don't happen to have any cake do you..." Tucker asked, for the first time making eye contact with the waiter.
I gave a meek smile to the waiter, he gave me a nod writing down our order, some kind of pastries, I'm sure tucker had mispronounced. I waited for the waiter to leave before speaking.
"I don't know what Helen had said to you, Tucker. But it is not my birthday." I give him an apologetic smile.
"I know." He winked at me, shrugging his beefy shoulders.
I blinked at him in shock, "So what was that for.?" I hiss.
"Free desserts for the birthday girl. Do you know how much that costs?" He lifted his brow giving me a meaningful look.
"Well, they have already mentioned the price and-" I stop when the waiter came.
"Happy Birthday, mam. The deserts are on the house." He said with a gentle smile.
"Thank you.!" I mumble, swallowing in nervousness. My hands shook as I ate. It was topped with gold leaf, explaining the high price. Tucker didn't even talk as he devoured it. It tasted like ashes in my mouth.
I gestured to the waiter to get our checks as Tucker spoke. "I was thinking of hitting the club after this. Or maybe tomorrow.." he added quickly. I gave him an incredulous look, only now noticing the barbell on his left eyebrow. He really had the audacity to arrange for our second date after pulling this shameless stunt.
I paid for my dinner, the expensive pastry in cash, and a tip for the waiter. Sliding it toward Tucker, I spoke in a honeyed voice to the waiter. "It's not my birthday."
I heard Tucker mumble fucking bitch, making it the best part of this date.
*****
Tasting the remnants of the pastry on my tongue I cross the road, walking to the opposite of the restaurant Charleston. I leaned down and knocked on the tinted window of a black car parked there. It slid down immediately. Soto was behind the wheel.
"Drop me home." I request. Soto grunted and leaned over to open the passenger side, mumbling something incorrigible making me chuckle. The car raked with smoke, I scanned around to find its source. When my gaze landed on a metal object glinting against the streetlights shining over it I quickly averted my gaze looking straight out of the windshield.
During my sleepless nights, I sometimes sat on the windowsill looking out at night. There was always a black car on the side of the road. I didn't pay any mind to it at first. Until I noticed it tailing us when I went out with Helen, David, and Justin last week. And remembering the incident weeks ago when I'd visited Helen. I began to look for a pattern.
The car parked at 7 every night and left a few minutes after I leave for school. I tried to make it out if someone was inside there and found it to be a giant figure every time. I had been mistaking it to be the car seat at first.
Soto drove without speaking another word. I had understood this much that whoever is inside will definitely be an ally. But I wasn't expecting Soto.
"Are you going to ask?" I say gulping in nervousness, my back tensed.
"I know he didn't touch you or said anything obscene?" he answered, making his gruff tone slightly gentle.
I incline my head accepting his answer. When I closed my eyes, I reminisced about Lorenzo's words regarding Soto. 'Soto here works at security, mostly keeping an eye on the things Gian treasures the most'. Tears rolled out my cheeks, I lean my head on the window clutching my handbag to stop any sound of my cry come out of my mouth.
When we reached my house, I stayed motionless in my seat for some time, but holding on to my tears and emotions is not my strongest suit.
'What the hell.' I unbuckled my seat and reached over to hug him. I knew he wouldn't push me back, but I hadn't expected his arms to wrap around me, patting my back in a fatherly manner.
"Look after him, Soto." I say hoarsely, feeling him nod. Pulling back, I wipe my tears and sniffle in an unwomanly manner.
"I'll get your breakfast in the morning." I announced.
"No." He denied sharply.
"Just agree with me or I will feign an injury and it will be on you." I say playfully and left after noticing a small twitch of his lips. He agreed.
*****
I wore an off-white mesh knit dress that reached my knee and a tanned long coat to protect myself from the cold and the harsh wind that has seemed to pick up since I set foot out of the cab and crossed the path from the main gate to the restaurant inside. Since the Raoule's didn't allow a taxi to go inside.
My shivering body turned straight and my quivering chin lifted up automatically the closer I got to the judgemental woman standing behind the glass lectern.
Because, I was here again on a date, in a posh restaurant. Way too posh for my liking because of hosts like her whom you greet the moment you step in. They make a quick judgment whether you'll be able to even afford the water they serve and then ask if you have a reservation, which actually means 'how did you manage to even gather the courage to set foot in here'. I have just witnessed her do that to a couple before me. They should know better than to waste their savings in a place like this, full of judgemental people. This used to be my life, whenever I joined my parents for lunch. But not anymore. Until Elijah Parker, David's business partner's son. He chose this venue for our first date.
The brunette beamed at me, impressed by my clothes. Her grin only grew wider when I gave Elijah's name. She escorted me to our table. Recognition marred across a man's face and he stood from his chair upon seeing me approach. That means Helen had given him my picture, but not his to me.
Elijah had brown eyes and long brown hair styled back. He was wearing an Armani suit that hugged his fit physique without looking too tight. He dismissed the woman Layla with a polite smile, refusing to acknowledge her attempts to flirt with him.
Elijah turned out to be the perfect gentleman. No way close to that jerk Tucker or struggling gentleman Justin. After a long time, I had a decent conversation with someone. When he offered to drop me home I accepted it. The restaurant was 3 miles away from the house. We were talking throughout the drive when Elijah didn't halt at the stop sign, almost hitting someone. The pedestrian whose face was hidden behind a quilted hoodie got slightly startled. Elijah's car missed him by a good two feet, but he didn't seem to be fazed by it.
"You were supposed to stop." I shriek, interrupting what he had been saying.
Elijah glanced at me, "He wasn't hurt. Otherwise, I would have definitely helped, Zara."
"No. Not that. There was a stop sign, you are supposed to halt and look on either side of the door before proceeding." I narrate to him the driving manual I used to read regarding the driving manual for dummies.
He let out soft laughter, glancing at me with amusement. "No one does it, Zara. Don't fret it."
I nodded stiffly, looking away from him. My lips curled down in a frown. Elijah says no one follows that rule. Gian used to, he would lessen the speed to 35 when we would be near the school. He used to halt at the stop sign near my house every single time. And that one time when we were coming out of the auditorium when we passed the greenlights...
Was it him making that happen? He could have broken the rule. I'm sure since everyone knows him so well, they would have recognized his car. Not giving him a ticket. He did it for me... since the very first time, he began to drop me at school and back.
I drew shallow breathes, suddenly feeling the air inside the car to be suffocating. Sweat beads were forming on my body, I loosen the buttons of my jacket but to no avail.
"Zara... Zara. You okay?" I heard Elijah's deep concerned voice.
"Pull over." I say hoarsely flapping my hands aimlessly, trying to breathe through the hardness in my throat clogging up my air.
He did as I asked. I opened the door and got out. The sharp chilly wind prickled on my skin. making me shudder. The sweat on my skin instantly froze against the sharp wind.
"Zara, you okay?" Elijah rounded the car, to come near me. I took a step back, shaking my head. He had a perplexed expression on his face, but I can't do anything to comfort him.
"Go." I say the cold wind swallowed my voice, so I repeated louder this time.
"Go where?" he questioned, looking around at the barren area.
"Get in your car and go, Elijah." I whimper, clutching my stomach.
"I'm not leaving you alone here, Zara." He protested, looking around at the area with wide eyes, looking horrified to leave me alone in here.
"I know you have heard this before because you really are a nice guy. 'It's not you, It's me' But please. Leave. Me. Here. I'll be fine. I'll text you later. Please go, Elijah..." I say breathlessly, breaking into a sob, clutching my knees with my palms for support.
He must have seen the crazy gleam in my eyes, presuming me to be like Karla Homolka. Like I had been trying to stop my inner serial killer to stay put before engaging in a massacre. He did take a tentative step back. Then took a few moments to give me some time to change my mind before rounding the car back to the driver's seat. I walked a step further, making sure the dashcam in his car could see me unharmed if that's what makes him jittery apart from being a genuinely good man.
My lips tugged in a smile, as I waved at him to go. He did leave, pointing to his phone to call him after. I took a deep breath, walking on the pavement. It was blanketed with paver blocks but the heavy dirt filled in the gap made it easier for me to walk in heels. I push my hand inside the coat's pocket walking aimlessly, reminiscing Gian, and our time together. He never lacked patience with me. or did anything to break any rule.
I came across a small park, that looked like it had seen better days, packed with children waiting for their turns to be on the swing. One of the two swings was broken. When I perched on one, it made a small screeching sound. My coat soaked in the small puddle of dews. Closing my eyes, I leaned my temple on the cold rusty metal chain of the swing. Then I heard the footfalls coming from the Armani boots getting closer in my direction.
*****
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