BELLA PARKER
It has been a week now, without her and I am trying, I am trying my best to let go of the past and start fresh but I just can't. I feel so lonely. I am always in my room, sitting at one corner or in front of the window staring outside, holding the letter.
That letter.
Her last letter that she wrote to me before she died.
When I went that day, to the apartment everything was a mess. After keeping everything in the correct place, when I was in my room, the room that I used to stay in, I found this letter in my drawer. It was like, she knew I would come and open it, that's why she kept it there.
I didn't have the courage to read the letter there, so I brought it home and when I was alone in my room, I opened it and read it.
My sweetheart,
I can never forget the day when I first found you, I was so happy. Just one smile of yours made me the happiest person in this world. I know because of me, you had to face a lot of problems, but Bella, you didn't complain even a single time. You are the most precious thing I have ever got.
Baby there are things that I couldn't tell you, things that are better if they are kept hidden. You are happy Bella, this is the happiness that I always wished for you and you got that, after so many years. I know the marriage was not out of love but Bella, just give it sometime I am sure you'll find love in him. The world is really cruel baby, you got such a happy family don't ever leave them. Liam is the one for you Bella, the one to keep you happy and I know this. Don't ever let him go. There are problems, but we have to face them a little thoughtfully and together.
I am so sorry for that day. I was so rude to you, but Bella I had some reason to do that. Please forgive me. And Bella, don't cry so much, I wouldn't like it. I don't like the sad and the crying Bella, she is so ugly.
Nanny is tired now Bella, she needs some rest.
Just remember one thing always, I love you. Nanny loves you Bels and she'll always be with you.
-Love Nanny
I read the letter again and again since that day I got it and everytime I read it, everytime I start crying. I try to stop myself from crying but I just can't. I miss her so much.
Same as the other days, I was sitting in front of the window and staring outside, while tears rolling down my cheeks. The door of the room opened. I knew who it would be so I didn't turn around. Since that day, Ryan comes to my room and tries to make me smile, but when he fails he goes back again. I have given him some pale smiles but still he understands and leaves me alone. Today too he had come at least seven times to see me or to give my food. But after doing that he left. So it would not be him now, of course it's Liam.
I could hear footsteps coming closer.
"Bella."
I didn't turn to see him neither did I reply. He sighed then came closer to me. Taking both my hands in his he kneeled down in front of me.
"You can't always stay like this Bella. I understand that she was everything to you but Bella, now you have to move on. It's enough."
I was just listening to him tears were continuously flowing down from my eyes.
"Bella this is life, the people we love doesn't stay with us forever. I understand your pain. I do. But you can't end your life like this."
"You don't understand my pain Liam. You don't. Nobody can understand my pain." I said getting up from where I was sitting, and was about to leave when he held my hand, slowly he got up and turned to me, my back was facing him.
"I do Bella." He said in a broken voice. I turned around to see his eyes were filled with tears. "I've lost someone too Bella." He then looked down smiling "Someone who I loved more than anyone in this world."
"Y-Your sister?" I asked.
He looked up with his eyebrows furrowed "Who told you?"
"Mom."
He nodded. "I was there once in the position you are right now, or even worse because I saw her dying in front of me and I was helpless. I couldn't do anything."
"It was not your fault."
"It was. If I wouldn't have been drunk that night, she would've been alive and I'll always hate myself for that."
"L-Liam."
"Bella, I've been through this pain before that's why I am asking you to move on. Don't make yourself like me. Don't."
I looked down "Why did she had to go Liam?" I asked in a low voice.
Liam pulled me to himself and hugged me. I clutched his shirt tightly, by now I was a crying mess. "I-I had so many things to s-say to her. I wanted to apologize to her, I wanted t-to tell her how happy I am, I wanted to tell her how much I l-love her. But s-she is not there to listen to me."
"She knows Bella, how much you love her." Liam said.
"I miss her Liam. I miss her so much."
Liam pulled away from the hug and cupped my face, I looked down. He wiped my tears "Hey, look at me." When I didn't he said again "Bella look at me."
Finally I looked up just to meet with his sea-coloured eyes.
"Stop crying please. I can't comfort you Bella because I know however hard I try nothing can make you feel better now. You have to try to move on."
"Nanny, t-took the pills on her own will." I finally managed to say that.
Liam looked at me in confusion. I showed him the letter. He read the whole letter then thought something. He then looked at me "Did you find anything else?"
I shook my head.
"It has to be him." he mumbled looking at the paper.
"What? Who?" I asked.
He looked at me "I can't say properly but I think it has something to do with Seth."
"Seth? But she was his mother."
"I know but he was the only one in the house who was staying with her and why so suddenly she would decide something like this when everything was going fine."
"So what are we gonna do about it?"
Liam took a deep breath and gave the letter back to me "Don't worry I'll look into it."
I nodded still thinking that why would Seth have something to do with all this.
Liam held my hands in his, "Trust me Bella."
I just stared in his eyes.
I do trust him. I think I trust him more than I even trust myself, I know he'll never let me down.
While staring at each other I didn't realize when the gap between us closed, the next moment I found his hands were cupping my cheek and mine were resting on his waist. My eyes closed automatically and I felt our lips meeting. I felt everything stopping around me, it was just him and me. I didn't want this moment to end, our lips were moving in sync. His one hand went down to my waist puling me closer to him. Our bodies were pressed together, the kiss was passionate, intense, a kiss of comfort. When he pulled away, we both were breathing heavily, I bit my lips looking down he looked at me and muttered "Fuck" and again connected our lips. I kissed him back with everything I had trying to match up with his pace. He sucked on my lower lip, making me moan. Pulling away he rested his forehead against mine.
"Ask me to stop now Bella." He said breathing heavily.
"I-I." I couldn't say anything.
I wanted this. I didn't want him to stop.
"Don't make this difficult."
I stayed quiet
He sighed and picked me up in his arms in bridal style, I wrapped my arms around his neck, looking in his beautiful sea-coloured eyes, placing me on the bed he hovered over me. His lips then travelled down to my neck, he sucked hard on my neck making me moan in pleasure. Removing the straps of my top, he placed wet kisses on my shoulder. His touches were creating a burning sensation in my body, I could feel butterflies in my stomach. He then came up to me and pecked my lips.
"Tell me now if you want me stop or I wouldn't be able to hold myself any longer."
I shook my head slowly.
He again connected our lips. He wrapped his one hand around my waist, I ran my hands through his hair kissing him back. Pulling away from the kiss, he made me sit up. Taking off my top he threw it somewhere he eyed my body then came down sucking on my chest. His hands then went to the back, unclasping my bra he started massaging my left breast with his hand sucking on my neck.
He sat up on the bed and started unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes were not leaving mine. I looked away in embarrassment.
"Look at me." He said in an extremely seductive tone.
I did. He threw his shirt, and I got the chance to take a look at his body. It is not that I have not seen him shirtless before but at this moment he looked sexier than ever. I bit my lips while admiring his body.
"Beautiful." He said.
Laying me back on the bed and sucked on my stomach making me shiver, I was trying to control my moans by biting my lips Liam noticed that and stopped he looked up at me and said "I want to hear them. I want to hear you moaning my name."
I licked my lips, as he went back sucking on my stomach. His lips slowly travelled upwards to my breast, Liam was skillfully sucking on my breast while I just licked my lips time to time with my eyes shut and my hands clutching the bedsheet tightly trying to take in this new feeling.
"Liam." I moaned his name in pleasure.
His hands then travelled down to my pyjamas, he pulled them down.
After removing my panties his mouth came back sucking on my breast. I felt his hand on my inner thigh making it's way up, my eyes flew open instantly I closed my legs. Liam stopped sucking on my breast and looked up at me in confusion.
I was scared, I've never done this before.
"Liam I haven't h-h-"
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked looking me in the eye.
I bit my lips then shook my head "No. I-It's just so new. I don't know."
Liam placed himself in between my legs, and looked at me, I was completely naked in front of him, he was the first man to ever see me naked.
"I'll make your first time special."
**************
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