Hello! Sorry for the late update, I was extremely busier than expected this weekend with homework and couldn't free up time to work on this!
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Hikaru slammed his fist against the training post, uncaring for how the sound echoed in his ears. He was used to the pain that flared from the action, his emotions muddled between deep sorrow or seething anger. He couldn't tell, couldn't tell couldn't tell--
His teeth grit together, punching it again. Uncaring as the skin ripped, the desire to be better. . . no, the ambition of being better bubbling and boiling inside of his skin. Anything to protect those he had lost, although they were far away from where he was at the moment. Emotionally, not physically.
He needed to further his progress. He knew this flare of motivation would fade into that same numbness that plagued his day-to-day life, but he didn't care, kami damnit. Chakra flared down his arm, edging at his blade as he drew it. Slashing and striking and cutting with Madara's moves embedded in his mind.
Memories so vivid he could feel the following blow whisper against his skin.
He countered with every single memory, every single millimeter of his body and strength. Uncaring of how he looked strange twisting in the air at the last possible second, dodging an enemy that was long dead.
Hikaru ignored how odd it was to think of.
He could go faster, a blur of crimson against the sunset and the dirt, but he wouldn't. He was only training, so he wouldn't. But it was exhilerating, adrenaline burning at his tired bones, and a sharp grin made way onto his face.
His sword collapsed into its sheathe, his hands blurring through a jutsu. "Wind Release: Blades of Wind." Hikaru called, chakra coursing through the signs and visible slashes cut into the earth around him, his hair assulted by the resulting wind.
Hikaru blinked, realizing he may have gone a bit too far considering he couldn't even see how deep the cuts were, only a dark shadow at the end. A sigh escaped, and he made for a new jutsu, a training post collapsing onto its side into a cloud of dust.
"Earth Release: Reformation." Hikaru whispered, and the slashes in the earth slowly seeped back together, the training posts reformed and remade. The blades of grass he had torn up slowly regrew.
The numbness returned, as it always had.
Just for once, he would like to feel a clear emotion other than bitter anger and longing.
___
Hikaru stared at Naruto's door, lifting up a shaking, pale hand. He knocked lightly, slipping into his henge right before the door opened. His younger counterpart appeared in the doorway, a grin blooming on his face.
"Hello, Hikaru! C'mon, Let's go!" Naruto said, almost tripping over the door in his haste. "Did you already eat again? I think I'm gonna go with the usual, dattebayo. But- but if you didn't already eat, you should really try the pork ramen with the eggs and the other green stuff in it! Iruka-sensei finally pursuaded me to try a bite, dattebayo, and it's really good." Naruto rambled, before pausing to let Hikaru answer his question.
"Ah, I didn't eat quite yet. I might try that, Naruto. Thanks for the suggestion." Hikaru let Naruto lead them out of the apartment building, his facade stopping him from the small smile that wanted to overtake his frown.
His hands were still trembling, and as Naruto brushed past him in his haste, a small pain blossomed in the spot that was hit. He resisted the urge to rub at the blossoming bruise although Naruto barely brushed against him.
"Sorry, Hikaru!" Naruto said, a sheepish look on his face. "I didn't mean to do that."
"It's okay." Hikaru murmured reassuringly, before the slightest frown appeared slowly on his face as they ducked into Ichikaru's. Naruto bounced in beside him, already shouting out his order with a wide grin.
"I'll have the miso ramen- the usual amount of bowls. Hikaru wants to try a- a..." Naruto glanced over at him, thumb and forefinger on his chin, resting on his other arm which was brought up to his chest. "Small bowl, definitely, of the pork ramen with the eggs, dattebayo!" He turned back towards Teuchi, plopping onto a stool by the bar.
Hikaru sat next to him in a more controlled manner, nodding politely at Teuchi. The man has usually allowed him to stay longer in his timeline- when he was Naruto- than socially allowed.
"Got it. It'll be done soon." Teuchi smiled kindly at them before he went and started on their ramen.
"So, how's your training been going? Did you finally find out your element?" Hikaru asked, a question gleaming in his usually-unreadable violet coloured eyes.
Naruto nodded, a larger grin on his face, blue eyes joyful. "Yeah! I got wind, dattebayo, which is really, really cool! Kakashi-sensei said that there aren't many wind-users in Konoha!"
"I'm one of them." Hikaru said to him, before looking back towards the bar, where their ramen had been placed in front of him.
Naruto didn't touch his own ramen bowls- he had three- glancing over at Hikaru with a strange expression on his round face. "Ne, Hikaru, you'll teach me then, right? Kakashi-sensei said he had a lot, but they're mostly really high rank, so-"
Hikaru felt surprise hit his head. Out of all things, he shouldn't be teaching his younger counterpart, not to mention that Naruto would eventually learn all of this anyway. Still, he softly mulled it over, not noticing Naruto had mistook his silence for a 'no' and ate his ramen with a hurt grin.
"Maybe." Hikaru said after a long pause, filled only with Naruto stuffing his face full of ramen. "It's only a maybe. It depends on my missions, but once you gain enough control over your chakra, I might."
A larger smile bloomed on Naruto's face. "You mean it, Hikaru-sensei?"
Hikaru sighed softly. "Hai."
He regretted everything that led up to this moment, but he had no choice. Naruto had to be strong for the Chunin Exams, and maybe, just maybe, Hikaru could make Team Seven an actual team.
The Chunin Exams were a few months away, after, and the genin had gone on a few d-ranks but not Tora yet. That meant that Hikaru still had plenty of time.
Hikaru raised his chopsticks to his lips, stomach growling in protest. He'd gotten halfway through his bowl, already stuffed full. He couldn't eat anymore.
He stared at Sasuke and Sakura, hope shimmering in his eyes, their arms linking together. Sasuke had grunted, not quite pulling away from Hikaru, but not quite liking it either, judging from the harsher glare sent Hikaru's way.
"After this war, let's go get a bowl of Ichikaru's together, okay?" Hikaru asked, believing that they would make it out, that they had too. A stupid war couldn't stop Team Seven.
"Alright!" Sakura smiled, while Sasuke sighed.
"Provided we survive." He said, his nose tilting up slightly, his tone hinting softly towards concern.
"Of course we will! We're Team Seven, and nothing can put us down." Hikaru said, before jumping and unlinking his arms from his teammates. Kakashi stood behind them after flicking each of their heads.
"Maa, I wasn't invited to this reunion with my cute students?" Kakashi said in his lazy drawl. Hikaru and Sakura began scolding their sensei, who didn't look remotely apologetic.
"Hikaru-sensei! I gotta go! Kakashi-sensei promised he'd teach us a new jutsu that's super cool, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted, before racing out of the ramen stand.
Hikaru let the slightest of smiles bloom on his face, making a one-handed seal to shunshin to his apartment. His bones ached and hurt, and he was tired. His eyebags were only barely concealed with his henge, and everything else hurt with every single step.
He could practically hear Sakura, yelling at him to eat the soldier pill despite it's disgusting taste. He could see Kakashi, fighting with that stupid book in his hands although the Zetsu were a threat.
Sasuke fighting next to him and arguing the entire time, a single red eye blazing with fury and a small hint of hope.
They were all dead. Hikaru knew that. He believed it, but it wouldn't stop him from mourning, especially now that he could rest even a little bit.
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"I need a mission." Hikaru sighed after inclinging his head. "A good one that'll take me out of the village for at least a day."
"You sure?" The Hokage asked, an eyebrow raised, disbelief entering his tone. "I heard that you're not doing very well, Hikaru-san."
"I'll go tomorrow, or with someone else." Hikaru offered. "I just need to get out of the village." He looked directly at the Hokage, surprise spiking from one of the ANBU crouched above him.
"Here." The Hokage handed a mission scroll. "A B-Rank mission that involves guarding merchandise. Take Kakashi-san with you."
Hikaru felt his hands shake as he accepted it. "With all due respect, doesn't he have students?"
"He needs a break. His genin are a handful." The Hokage said with a knowing glint in his eyes.
"We'll head out tomorrow, then." Hikaru huffed softly, before shunshining out of the office. Anger swelled inside of him, almost overpowering the weakness in his bones.
He didn't need someone with him, although he'd been the one to suggest it. He wasn't weak.
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A soft knock at the door resounded through his quiet apartment, before Kakashi and Naruto both strolled in. Hikaru jumped, a kunai clattering to the floor from where he'd been sharpening it. He hadn't really sensed them coming.
"Hello! We brought over ramen, dattebayo!" Naruto held up a box of Ichikaru's, before bouncing into the kitchen.
Kakashi raised a silver eyebrow. "What's wrong?"
Hikaru raised an eyebrow back, indignition biting at him. "You know damn well what's wrong. Anyway, why are you guys here?"
He walked into the kitchen, sitting at the table and unpacking the ramen. Naruto was already sitting down with a couple bowls in front of him, before Kakashi sat down as well.
"Maa, maa, Naruto told me you're a wind style and you offered to teach him some jutsu." Kakashi cast him an eye-smile, although it was somewhat threatening. "I wanted to see if that was true, especially the part about our mission tomorrow."
"Yeah, I'm a wind user." Hikaru murmured, ignoring the last part. "I didn't exactly offer to teach Naruto, it's just that we're both wind users and my jutsu would go to waste if nobody learned them."
Kakashi looked down at Hikaru's meal, somehow already finished with his. He raised an eyebrow, pulling out his Icha Icha, a silent question weighing over the table: Is Hikaru going to eat something?
Hikaru blinked, reading the room, before glancing over at Naruto. Naruto's eyes were locked on his thin wrists, a frown marring his scarred face.
He groaned, before starting to eat. Some sort of fury inside of him wanted to lash out, shout at Kakashi just for still being there, bring alive when he was dead in Hikaru's mind, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to open up about his past timeline.
After they'd finished and Naruto gone, Kakashi and Hikaru were in the living room, glaring at each other. The silence was heavy, weighing down on both of them. Hikaru could visibly see Kakashi's mind going a mile a second.
He blinked. Kakashi did the same, albiet a bit lazier.
"We're going on a mission tomorrow. You are literally almost dead, Hikaru." Kakashi chose to state the obvious.
Ineffective.
"I'm fine." Hikaru said. "I just need to get out of the village, that's all."
"Hikaru, I've seen what's under your henge. You can't tell me that when I've seen it." Kakashi said, his book long tucked away.
His hands shook, and his jaw tightened. "Kakashi, I'm fine."
"Drop the henge and tell me that." Kakashi drawled sarcastically. "Maybe I'll believe you when you're not sitting there half-dead and telling me that you're okay to leave Konoha for a mission when you need medical care."
Hikaru raised a red eyebrow, his henge slowly slipping away. "See? Fine."
"Have you even slept lately?" Kakashi chose to say the greatest thing.
"Maybe."
"When did you last sleep?" Kakashi said, something else bordering his tone that Hikaru couldn't find it within himself to figure out.
"Why do you care?" Hikaru said, heart pounding in his head. "You won't get the answers your looking for, Kakashi."
"Why won't you tell me? It's not that hard-" Kakashi sighed, before blinking. "Look, Hikaru, you should talk to someone-"
"Like you have?" Hikaru shot back without hearing the rest of the sentance, every single part of him locking down. He couldn't let Kakashi know. Kakashi was already close, too close.
"I'm not the one dying." Kakashi stood up almost lazily, but Hikaru could see the minor shaking of his fists, before Kakashi just sighed, pulling out his book. "I'll see you tomorrow." An eye-smile forms on face right before he leaves.
Hikaru sighed.
He fucked up.
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Hello! I hope I've kinda done a good job with Kakashi's personality..? If not, or if you have some pointers, just let me know! I haven't watched the series in awhile.
This chapter contains 2243 words.
Original: 01/03/2020
Edited: 12/20/2021