The following is a group chat text string acquired by the CIA. Messages include Agents Benjamin Ripley, Mike Brezinski, Jayden, Jawaharlal O'Shea, Chip Schacter, and Emma.
[WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IS A TOP-SECRET FILE. DO NOT SHARE OR DISTRIBUTE THROUGHOUT THE SOCIETY IN ANY WAY.]
Guys, Emma is the person that broke through the ceiling with Jayden the other day, I just didn't reveal her name. She was the one that made Ben's breath hitch, and she was also the one with blonde hair.
Ben: What is the point of this? We're literally ten feet away from each other on a plane. Communication can come in easier ways than texting at this point.
Jayden: Welcome to the twenty-first century, dingus. Technology rules!
Mike: I don't think you'll be saying that anymore when robots take over the earth.
Emma: They won't- at least for the next few centuries.
Chip: Yeah, because of the CIA. We'll stop them before they can do anything fatal.
Jawa: Say that to a fifty-foot robot with a thermonuclear arsenal strapped to their waist. You compared to them is like a louse compared to an elephant.
Chip: You compared to Erica is like a louse to an elephant, knucklehead.
Jayden: You all compared to Erica together is an atom to the universe. I have to admit- I'm not even as good as Erica, even with my handsome looks 😏
Emma: Keep telling yourself that. Keeeeeeeep telling yourself that, Jayden.
Ben: Since when did the subject go from human annihilation by robots to comparing Erica to us? See, this is what I mean by this chat being useless and a waste of time.
Jayden: You're useless and a waste of time.
*Benjamin Ripley has left the chat*
Mike: Well, thanks a lot, Jayden.
Chip: Hold on a second-
Jawa: Why?
Chip: I'm going to use brute force and make Ben join the chat again. I could feel our average IQ level skydiving the second he left.
Jayden: Yeah, it skydived because you're the anchor dragging us down.
Jawa: Good one!
Jayden: 💪
*Benjamin Ripley has joined the chat*
Chip: There we go! What did I miss?
Ben: Chip, you never specified how long I had to stay on this chat.
*Benjamin Ripley has left the chat*
Chip: That little-
Emma: Okay, I'm going to head out. I've got a few episodes of The Office to catch up on.
*Emma has left the chat*
Mike: Well, I guess it's just us now.
Jawa: Chip keeps coughing on me. Can somebody get over here and strong-arm him out of the way?
Mike: Is he sick? If he is, it's not really his fault.
Jawa: I don't know if he's sick or not, but all I know is he's directing all of his coughs in my direction.
Jayden: If he's sick, them I'm off this plane 🤮
Chip: I am sick. I've had a cold since yesterday night. It's been such a pain.
Jayden: Hahahahaha suck it
Jawa: If Chip's sick, then I'm probably sick too by now. He's been coughing on my since the start of the plane ride.
Chip: Is anyone else sick around here? I hope I infected someone.
Jawa: Yeah, is anyone not well here?
Jayden: Look in a mirror, dingus.
*Jawa has left the chat*
*Jayden has left the chat*
*Chip has left the chat*
Mike: Alll by myseeeellllf