Whose story was behind the heartbreaking song? Most idols would testify to say that it was a high school memory or mimicking what they have read or seen. But is this the case for Stray Kids' B side song. Fans talked about and wondered who it was dedicated to. For Ex they still haven't gotten their answers so having an answer for this is impossible.
What the fans did not know is the other boys themselves were unsure who it was about. They had their own theories yet never had the time to ask the songwriter himself. That was until a lucky day, wherein they had time to kill before performing on stage in a few hours. The other seven cornered both 99 liners, and pestered them. Some whining and others clinging to the boys. The two boys laughed at their members but they knew someone had to spill their story. It had to be a "juicy" one for that was what was expected.
Changbin in all honesty didn't know what to share with the boys. He assumed that some of them already knew the whole thing and most of them at least half of it. So he pleaded to Leon with his eyes, and the older couldn't resist the younger. The younger rejoiced with a smile knowing that his best friend wouldn't say no to him unless it was strictly private.
"Fine but as you all know it doesn't leave this circle okay?" As they were lucky to have gone early, none of the other backstage crew were with them. They also had an air conditioned room free of cameras to themselves. The boys settled comfortably and were awaiting for the explanation.
Leon kept it real and honest and it brought back so many things. So many things are told in at least fifteen songs. But he promised himself that this would be the last. "So I'll be real and tell you it's about someone from my life. This someone is a person I have known for years. This someone is a boy close to my heart." For months he almost forgot how the boy looked like but now it hit him. He felt as though the boy himself was in the room and hearing the story himself.
"He was the best person I had. Only he knew me that way because I chose him. But no matter how long we chose each other, it ended. After all we made no promises for forever." He could smell tofu all of a sudden. The signature dish when they were together. They would never eat tofu with other people because it was reserved for each other. But now, tofu was just supposed to be tofu. Yet Leon still couldn't bring himself to do the specific dish he loved because he knew he'd always reserve a plate for him.
Changbin laced his fingers through Leon as he felt him. Leon had briefly told him of this boy, no details but he always felt different when Leon had spoken about him. Leon was always smiling and always shining up until he stopped talking about the boy. The boy who he referred to as someone who disappeared. "He was my before and after Aerum. I stopped loving him at some point yet somehow the universe pulled us back. With that we thought it was a sign of a promised longer from destiny. But I was wrong."
The way he said his admission was felt deeply by his members. His tone was so casual yet icy at the same time. Even they had felt as though their hearts were getting colder. The boys huddled against one another more, to lessen the cold although it was just a feeling. "He changed, the same way I did. He had his priorities as I had mine. But the difference was, I was ready to make him a priority again. But he was not. Although he was older and had more years of experience as one would say."
Chan wondered who this boy was and what exactly was the role he took once upon a time. "Leon, were you and him like official?" The younger smiled at him and nodded. Although minuscule actions, it was as though he was screaming to the whole world an absent relationship. "There was a reason we parted the first time. It was because of how cruel we were to each other's hearts. How selfish we were of each other basically. It tore us eventually and that was enough to go against the second chance we got. But it is my fault for trying once again."
Leon ran his fingers through Seungmin's hair as the boy was laying against his legs. "Only a few people knew we got back together. They were against it at first. Saying how unhealthy it could possibly be and how risky it was in the position I was in. But they also saw the love I had for him. So they agreed. That was our mistake, for only looking at the love I had for him. We did not take note of the love he had for me."
He stared at each of the boys and smiled at each of them. "After writing twenty-two songs about him. After reading the lyrics and noticing how more than half of them were not about love. It was about the harsh realities of it and only the harsh with no light. I let him go. I told him no. Then we said our goodbyes." The boy tightened his hold on Changbin's hand as he said these words.
"Now you might have never heard these songs. I mean only three of them are somewhat out in this world. Only six heard by 3Racha and two read passingly by the other members. But all of these are somewhere in the Labyrinth Hub. But this song, I Wish You The Best, was not part of the twenty-two songs." He brushed the straying tear of Hyunjin's face and smiled as the boy groaned softly.
"I came to realize that I could not stop writing about him. For he appeared in my songs, in my verses, in my stories, and in my poems. So I had to realize that I needed to stop the third chance if the universe gave us that. I had to say no even before I got the question. But I would not end it without looking back and still being thankful. So I wrote the song, no matter how heartbreaking the process was."
Jisung then remembered the photos and old phone he saw when he went to Leon's studio. He remembered them being messily organized. How frazzled they had all been yet they had a certain nostalgia. He had also remembered how red in the face Leon had been when he visited. All these signs turned out to be part of the process to write this great song. Jisung was amazed and hoped he could be as brave as Leon to write a song like this. Maybe not a statement song but to go back to a past that hurt him so much.
"I wrote it all in my perspective because I did not want to tell his story. That is his to tell but mine is mine to do so. At first, it was not to be released until I admired everything released on our Youtube channel. Your dances and your songs and your covers and it inspired me. Inspired me to be brave and to release a part of my story to Stays and even to you guys." Jeongin clung to Seungmin as he reached his hand to Leon. He wanted Leon's comfort even though Leon was the one who went through all of this. Felix personally was touched. He knew that Leon had his own secrets and he had his reasons to keep them. But here he was, wanting to let others know him more so he did something so brave. "Hyung, I just wanted to say that you are so brave. Braver than we thought and braver than you think." His words had almost caused Leon to tear up but he didn't. He smiled at Felix and thanked him.
"I wouldn't be this brave without all of you with me. So as I was about to release this, Chan actually recommended it to be on the album. It made things scarier but you guys believed in me. I came to realize that yes this is my story but you guys were a part of it. It larger than you thought so I asked if I could tweak its arrangement to be a group song instead of a solo. I got so many questions for it but it was worth it. You all singing and rapping it with me brought a certain justice to my story. So I thank you."
Minho's who had one stray tear but would never admit to it hit Leon's knee softly. "You surprised us before with a more hot song. Now here you are breaking hearts. That's why your bias-wrecking all of us Leon," the group laughed at Minho's point. Agreeing with him and taunting, whining, and prodding at Leon. "But in all seriousness, you are amazing, and as Felix said you are brave. In the same way, you are thankful for us, we are too. Who would we be without this bias wrecker here." Minho said it in such a Minho fashion but all his words were heartfelt.
This was the group he chose to be in. This was the song he chose to end their story. He knew that this was the best group to understand his story. He was blessed truly. To have him and to have them.
"So Leon since you're into guys. Want to---" Then that began the running of Leon as the member chased him. Chan also behind their backs as he was trying to protect Leon from Lee Know. Now that Han thought about it, he also wanted to tease Leon so he joined in the run. Meanwhile, all the members were laughing but joined in the chase before preparations had to be made.
A/N: Guess what I'm kind of back? I'm still finalizing an official schedule so no promises yet on like a scheduled update. Once school kind of gives me my weekend free, I'd tell you guys. But I hope you enjoyed this! I really loved writing it. Please comment in your thoughts, suggestions, what you want more, and others. Then please vote, add to your reading list and follow me is you wish. Stay safe guys! - Aid
*reading back to this, and hmmm I decided to share something so random about it but inspired the overall chapter. I actually wrote a song on this, and it's somewhere but it's not by the same title for reasons. It is also true that I did write and compose 22 songs about one person who owns my heart. It's crazy but sometimes you just know when an ending to something so beautiful is coming. - Aid (27/01/2021)