A few days later
New York City
Y/n's POV
"Not that I expected us to make it to the playoffs though." I snorted at Dante's words when he huffed. "We suck. But I'm happy to be back in my own house."
"Yeah New York is pretty dope sometimes." I retorted, looking out at the city as we sat on the rooftop of my hotel, eating lunch.
"So what's been going on? How's life?" I cocked an eyebrow at him as I dipped my fries into the ketchup before dropping them into my mouth. "What? I can't ask about my best friend now?"
"It's a little weird but I mean.." I shrugged and leaned back in my seat. "I'm good bro. You?"
He nodded while picking up a napkin. "Good good. How are you and Robs?" Okay.. what did Melissa tell him? At my silence he sighed and crumbled the napkin up. "I heard you asked for a divorce bro.. the fuck happened? Last time I checked y'all were joined at the hip."
I shrugged again. "A lot." I said while pulling my phone out and looking down at my messages.
SweetTarts: Wyd 👀
Me: Nothin why?
SweetTarts: Come thru. Floor 5, room 509.
I smirked as I replied while answering to whatever the hell Dante was saying. "Shit happens, It's life."
"No, Robyn is your life. You told me that for three years straight so.. cut the bullshit." He snatched my phone and faced it down on the table. "Talk to me." When I went to get it back, and his eyes inevitably caught the screen. "Hold up.. Saweetie?"
"I have nothing to say, Dante." He frowned when I snatched my phone back. "Now chill. I came to hang with my best friend, not be questioned about that shit."
"That shit? Do you hear yourself or should I slap the shit outta you to make it make sense." I rolled my eyes when he sat up with a scowl. "This is your wife, the mother of your children. Not 'that shit', why you acting like this-"
"Because I can!" I hissed out through closed teeth, my jaw clenched. "I can do what I want and I don't need you babysitting me like we kids."
"Well you're acting like one." I raised up and grabbed my food container before staring to walk away, only for him to grab my bicep with a glare. "This ain't college, Y/n." I snatched my arm out of his grip with a scowl. "Grow the fuck up, you have a fucking family. Now you're cheating? The fuck is wrong with you?"
"Says the guy that cheated on his girl with another." He blinked slowly before taking a step back at my tone but did I lie? He can't bash me for doing shit that he did. That was hypocritical as fuck. "How'd you get Melissa, Dante? Huh? Was it faithfully?"
His head shook. "That's different i-"
"No. Lauren is a human being just like Melissa is. Have you even apologized to Lolo?" His eyes dropped. "Exactly.. now fucking move." I brushed his shoulder with mine roughly as I walked past him. "Hypocrite." I muttered with an angry huff.
Try to single me out like he ain't never- whatever man. I'm over it.
I ran a hand through my hair once I reached the door, followed by two knocks. The door opened with haste. "Hey," she said with a smile, stepping back to let me in. "Took you long enough."
"It wasn't even long." I dropped onto the bed with a huff, my eyes closing when she straddled my back, hands suddenly pressing into my shoulder blades. Goodness, I can't remember the last time I got a massage.
"How was your day off?" She asked, releasing the tension I was just feeling like that.
I hummed absentmindedly. "Good. Had my audition.. chilled with Dante." Her hands slid down from my shoulders to my rib cage and I felt her cool breathe suddenly ticking the back of my neck.
"Did you get the part?"
"You know who you're talking to?" I rolled onto my back and held her thighs, a smirk on my lips. "It's Y/n baby, of course I got that damn part." She sat up and clapped lightly with a smile. "Thank you."
She sat comfortably on my lap, her fingers now tapping on my chest. "I know that's right. Do I get to know what your part is?" I shook my head. "Not even the name?"
"Nope."
She smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. "That's bullshit." I shrugged softly and slid my hands from her thighs to her waist, then back down. "I can make it worth it." I cocked an eyebrow when she slid off of my lap and started making her way down.
"We'll see." I mumbled, pushing her hair back when she undid my slacks, her tongue poking out to lick her lips. We'll see alright..
-
Hassan Jameel touched down in Malawi with-
I rolled my eyes and scrolled past the post. This is why I don't go on the goddamn explore page..
Well.. good for her. She was doing what she loved. At least she still loved something.
With a huff, I leaned against the large window and looked out at the stretch of New York, a city I'd become accustomed to since I actually did receive the role. It was shot in New York so that meant I'd be here a lot.
I'd have to get my own condo or something.. maybe just a little two bedroom thing, nothing too extravagant. That way I'd have a room for me and a room for the kids when I'd have them.
The kids.. I didn't even get around to thinking about that.
What would happen?
I didn't contemplate the full meaning of divorce until.. just now. Would we have to go to the courts with it? I mean, discussing how the visits would work? With Aniya it was easy. We were just dating at the time so we could basically handle it on our own.
This was marriage.
I couldn't imagine not seeing my babies everyday, it was already hard as hell to do that with Dahlia. Though I was grateful for having her in my life, I'd much rather have her living in my house.. instead of in Aniya's. Not selfishly of course, just because I love my family.
How much do you love your family?
I hummed at my own internal thoughts, my eyes scanning the skyline. For some reason, the sky started to resemble the look of Paris. The tall buildings.. the snow.. it took me back to when I felt the happiest.
My wedding day.
I rested my head on the window with a sigh, a feeling suddenly overcoming me. God I missed her. I glanced down at my wedding band and twisted it slowly, knowing deep down if I was truly done.. I would've taken it off.
This is how I knew exactly what was happening. I was trying to revert back to my old self but how could I? The old me was a way to deal with the pain of being emotionally abandoned by my father. I saw the correlation, I saw the same exact pattern I was taking but.. I couldn't make myself stop.
Deep down I knew it was wrong. But I covered my wrongdoings with idiocy, and that seemed to keep me afloat.
For the moment.
My head raised when I heard two soft knocks at my door. And just like that, it was buried deep again.
I stared at her with furrowed eyebrows, hurt flooding back up as she stared back at me. "What are you doing here?" I questioned and she inhaled slowly, eyes blinking quickly.
"I came to see you before I.." I looked down with a slow nod, knowing what she would be saying. "Before I fly to Africa."
"With Hassan." I mumbled and looked back up, everything inside of me turning to cold ice. "Thought you already went? You were with him at the airport a few days ago right?"
Her head shook. "No I-"
With a huff, I stepped back from the door. "It's fine, Robyn. Just go alright? Go change the world, you're good at that." Then I closed the door.
Fuck.. why did I..
I leaned my head on the door with a huff, my eyes squeezed shut when I heard a muffled cry leave her lips from the other side. "What are you doing?" I whispered to myself but couldn't pull the door back open. Not even when I heard her footsteps leave.
Why couldn't I just.. talk?
I pushed back from the door and stared at it. Another two knocks. I took in a deep breath and reached for the handle, my eyes squinting when I pulled it open. Brown eyes. Not green.
"Melissa?"
Her jaw was clenched as she nodded. "Yes. Hi." My head suddenly flew back and I shut my eyes tightly at the shocking pain shooting through my nose.
"What the fuck?" I groaned out and held my nose, staggering back when she advanced. "Melissa what-" Again, there was a hit. But down below. I hunched over immediately and cupped myself, the breath leaving my chest at her force from her knee. Was she trying to stop me from having babies?!
I knelt down in pain. "Stop being a dumbass." She hissed and grabbed my chin, making me look up at her. "I know you're hurting but so is she. You wanted her to chase after you right?" I nodded slightly.
"Melissa stop." I glanced over her shoulder and saw Rob walking in through the door quickly, her hand grabbing Mel's. "Did you hit her?"
I looked back at Melissa when she let my chin go, her voice going from rough to soft. "Well she's right here, Y/n." I swallowed thickly and nodded again as her words penetrated my brain like a sword. She then raised her hands at Robyn and left the room.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered and kneeled down in front of me, her hand digging into her jacket pocket and pulling out a scarf which she used to wipe the blood from my nose.
I winced and pulled my head back slightly. "That hurts." I mumbled. She nodded and softened her touch. "What time is your flight?" I asked and her eyes raised to mine. "We have a lot to talk about.. do you have time?"
"I always have time for you." She retorted quickly and I chuckled humorlessly before pushing off of the ground and starting to the mini kitchen.
"That's not how I felt for almost two months." I said over my shoulder as I grabbed a napkin and ripped small pieces to slide in my nose. "The complete opposite actually."
"I know and I'm ready to talk." I looked over at her as she stayed in her same position on the floor, knelt down. "My reasons are selfish but valid.. I promise."
This should be good.
I walked back over to her and sat on the chair, my eyes firmly on her as she didn't love an inch, her eyes on her hands. "I'm waiting." I said with a shrug and she nodded slowly.
"I didn't want to be distant with you.." My eyebrows furrowed when I heard the weakness in her voice. Robyn never spoke as if she was weak. No matter what.. she had a strong aura around her. Not now. "But I.. I got pregnant."
It took me a moment to process what she said but when I did, my breathing stopper for a moment. Pregnant? "You're what?" I sat up and gripped the seat. "Is it mine?"
I couldn't help but jump to conclusions. What if it was his? What if she was distant because she found out she was having his baby and didn't want me to know?
She slowly raised her head and scowled at me. "What?" I didn't realize how bad that sounded until I repeated the question in my head. "Y/n I-" She huffed heavily and shook her head. "I never cheated on you. Never have."
So.. she was pregnant? With my baby? That still doesn't explain anything.. "How long?" I mumbled and looked down at her stomach. "How far are you- we're having another baby?" I felt a subconscious smile pull at my lips, thinking about another mini us running around.
Then a sob broke her lips. My smile dropped. I watched her lean over, her head resting on her head as her shoulders shook. "Rob.." I scooted forward and rested my hand on her shoulder. "Robyn what's wrong?"
"I lost it." She cried out and my furrowed eyebrows relaxed. Wait.. "I had a miscarriage.. a month ago. I didn't say anything because I thought you'd be mad I- I'm so sorry."
That feeling that I should've gotten after cheating, the feeling of utter disgust and stupidity. I felt it now. I felt it all. "Oh my God." I breathed out and held my chest, guilt growing like small flesh eating bugs and covering every inch of me.
I cheated on her while she was dealing with a miscarriage. I didn't know but.. oh my God. What have I done?
I slid down to the ground and shakily grabbed her face to make her look up at me. "Don't apologize." I whispered and pulled her into me, her head on my chest.
This whole time I thought she was cheating on me, distancing herself because she was falling out of love. I thought she was doing me wrong.
This whole time she was dealing with this in her own.. to protect me?
I wrapped my arms around her tightly and pressed a kiss to her head. "Why didn't you tell me?" I blinked once and a tear fell down my cheek, the crushing feeling in my chest getting stronger each second. "I could've been there.."
Her fingers gripped the back of my shirt as she shook with gut wrenching sobs. I kept holding her while occasionally giving her a kiss, letting her know I was here. What have I done?
It took a minute but she eventually calmed down and sniffed quietly against my chest, her fingers still holding onto my shirt with a death grip. "I didn't tell you about the baby because I wanted you to stay on tour. Then when it happened, I didn't know how to tell you. I was scared you'd be mad and hate me."
"I could never hate you." I pulled back and cupped her face, my eyes holding her red stricken ones. "I'll never hate you, I love you, Robyn. I'm sorry for giving up.. I'm sorry for sending that bull over text."
She sniffed. "You don't want a divorce anymore?" I silently looked down, knowing that I didn't.. but she might after what I would tell her. "I need you." She whispered and raised her hands to my neck. "Please.. I need you, baby. I need you more than anything." I raised my gaze back up and saw the hopelessness in her eyes, the pain and heartbreak she was already feeling.
I couldn't.
I tilted her head forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, my eyes squeezing shut at the guilt that was eating me alive. "I'm not going anywhere." I whispered and sighed softly against her skin.
She pressed her hands against my collar bone and tilted her head up to connect our lips. I kissed back like my life depended on it, knowing that eventually I'd have to tell her the truth.
So, I savored this kiss. I needed this kiss.
Because in time, I knew I would lose her kiss.
____