ʚ|| Kei's POV ||ɞ
I watched Yuri leave in the opposite direction of her home. It was strange to see her walk somewhere else other than her way home but I didn't want to question her like Tadashi had.
"That's weird." He said as she got further.
"She's weird." I replied shoving my hands into my pockets.
Sugawara Yuri, The girl with the soft pale skin, thin light grey hair, and scary beautiful violet eyes that could possibly lock you in a trance, distract you as if it was the most important thing in the world. She was always quiet and rarely spoke even to us it would just be a "hey" and a wave as we spoke and she nodded, she would mainly write in her notepad that we had given her. Her voice soft and silky and her hums the same. It was beautiful when she did speak.
I never really found her weird I thought it was normal to never see her talk outside of class since we were in different classes, I thought she had friends but then I saw her get tripped and teased. Her natural look gave the "what the hell are you looking at?" Saying and that's probably why her bullies bullied her.
"Let's go." I walked away hearing Yamaguchi follow me.
I'm not saying it was right for them to bully her but maybe if she gave them the reaction they wanted, they might have left her alone a lot sooner. If she fought them they would have left her alone. Yuri could fight, trust me.
I lied to Morie when Tadashi and I first spoke to Yuri, I told her to not talk to us like she knew us but our parents had worked together a few times. I knew she had the same problems as the silent girl but she didn't have anyone like Yuri did.
"Hey, we should hang out tomorrow." Tadashi caught my attention. "I'll invite Yuri, we can go to park and practice volleyball. There might still be cherry blossoms!"
"Are we sure she wants to play volleyball?" I asked.
Tadashi smiled and shrugged. "I hope, she's been looking a little down."
"That's how she always looks." I know I was trying to convince myself. I was trying to get rid of the heavy pit in my stomach.
Something feels wrong.
Yuri was always closed off but Tadashi and I were always the ones who saw right through her. She never talked to us about anything but when one of us called her out on her shit she would sigh and thank us. I wish it were easier.
The night I kissed her, we both avoided talking about it. I was annoyed that we never talked about it but of course I shouldn't have expected anything from her.
"I know you care about her." Tadashi brought me back.
I glared at him as I tried to stop the blood from building up in my cheeks.
"She probably hates volleyball now." I changed the subject.
He chuckled nervously. "You think?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "She always seemed happier when she did play."
"She quit the team because of her bullies." I spoke and pushed my glasses up. "I'd hate it, if I was her."
"Oh...well...I'm still gonna call her later." He said as we stopped in front of his house. "Wanna come in and play video games?"
I agreed because I knew Akiteru would be home for the vacation and I didn't want to deal with him. I followed Tadashi into his house.
⇉ ⇉ ⇉ ⇉ ⇉ ⇉
I had gone home a few hours later now I was in my room laying on my bed and tossing the volleyball in the air. My mind was still stuck on Yuri she was on my mind a lot for the last few months especially after our fight. Today just seemed to hit harder that heavy gut feeling was still there.
I sat up and looked at the golden sky, she always admired the sky, no matter how it looked she found it beautiful. Even on the dingy grey days she would admire the sky as if it was a magnificent portrait.
┏━━━━✦❘༻Flashback༺❘✦━━━━┓
"It's such a dull day." Yamaguchi whined as we ate lunch in the cafeteria near the window.
"Let's go outside." Yuri said.
We looked at her as she picked up her lunch box and headed outside, everyone else heading inside in fear of the rain. She wasn't forcing us to go but since that was the most she had said in the past month we ended up following her. I grabbed my umbrella and so did Yamaguchi.
We thought she just wanted to stand under the hanging roof but she walked onto the hill and laid back watching the grey sky. She was back in our usual spot. Tadashi and I each sat next to her. I couldn't see what she admired about the depressing sky but then she spoke.
"Sometimes it's okay to be sad, right?" Her soft voice was lost in the wind.
"Yeah." I responded and she hummed.
"Everyone needs their bad days to appreciate their good days." I looked at her violet eyes as they scanned the sky. Her lip slightly curled up.
"You're a weirdo." I tossed her my jacket.
"I guess you're right." Yamaguchi laid back on his tucked hand. "Is this one of your good days? Yuri-chan?"
There was a moment of silence but I noticed the tear that slid down her cheek. "It is." She replied and closed her eyes.
┗━━━━✦❘༻End Flashback༺❘✦━━━┛
I got up from my bed and walked over to my phone that laid on my desk. I turned it on and went straight to my gallery to look at the only picture I had of her. It was a pretty bad picture, only her side profile appeared, well at least it was the side with the mole on it.
It really annoyed me that she never spoke on how she felt. I know I wasn't one to talk but I have my own way of coping with my issues, she just stays quiet and bottles it up. High school was going to be easier for her, since those volleyball bitches wouldn't be up her ass at Karasuno high.
I sighed resting my chin in my palm as I tried to relax but jumped at the knock on my door. I looked at my older brother as he stood at the threshold.
"You got a love letter!" He sang and I looked at him confused.
He waved around the lightly tanned envelope that had a red heart sticker on the seal. I took the envelope from him and sat back in my seat.
"Thanks." I simply said as he stood behind me, looking over my shoulder. I was holding the envelope to see there was no name.
"Aren't you going to open it?" He asked and I waved him away. "You're so mean Kei!"
He looked at me. "Oh this hairclip was on it."
I narrowed my eyes at the familiar hairclip. I took it and quickly ripped the letter open. A note fell out and my eyes quickly skimmed over it.
My heart raced with every word I passed by. What the hell is this? I got up and ran out of my room pushing Akiteru out of the way.
"Kei!" I heard my brother call but I ran to get my shoes on and ran out of the house.
Dear Kei,
I want to thank you.
Where are you?
Where will I find you?
You don't know how big of a difference you made in my life. You were actually quite annoying when I first met you.
You with your annoying height, your annoying remarks, that annoying smug smirk. I'm gonna miss all of that about you.
Don't say you'll miss me.
Just don't leave.
You don't get to say that.
I guess I didn't have to write you this letter. But I didn't want you to hear about it from someone else. I know you probably wouldn't care.
A few weeks ago you told me that I should die because I have no purpose. I had thought about it multiple times, so many nights were spent thinking about that
And you were right.
No. I'm not.
I've never been more wrong. You never listened to me before.
How can I go on living knowing that I have no real point being here. I have no sense of wanting to be here.
I can't give you anything because I know you wouldn't want anything from me.
I do want things. I want to hear your sweet laugh again, I want to see the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you erupt into a fit of laughter.
I want to see your lips curl as a smile dances on your soft pink plum and slightly chapped lips.
I want to hear your voice like a song that has no end to it. No matter how annoying the words get. I would listen until it sounded like a broken record.
I want you to nudge me until I fall over. Hit me just so I can feel your soft cold hands.
I want your lips to press against mine one last time, 100 more times.
I hope you appreciate the hairclip that I've been wearing for the last three years.
How can I enjoy it when it won't be attached to your grey hair?
I ran to every place I could think she would be. The night grew darker and the moon and stars being my light along with the streetlights that came on. My heart raced at the memories I had with her.
At the time you probably didn't mean what you said. You just wanted some kind of reaction out of me, right?
Yes! I wanted to prove to those bitches that you were nothing like what they thought.
You're anything but a freak, you aren't pathetic.
You're the strongest girl I've ever met.
Thank you for trying and being there for me that one night, thank you for beating me up, thank you for kissing me.
I can't thank you enough.
Don't thank me.
What was the point of trying if my work made no difference?!
That one night. I stopped in my tracks clutching my shirt as I turned and ran in the direction of that one night.
I hope I'm not too late.
Admire the sky longer tonight.
Count the stars until there are no more in the sky. That includes the sun.
Watch the moon until it disappears from the sky.
I hope you and Yams can fly higher! I know it's cheesy but maybe if I jump high enough, I can touch the most beautiful part of the world. I can join the stars, the clouds, the birds. I can watch from above as you play.
Wait for me.
Don't jump.
Watch from the sidelines, cheer our names as loud as you can.
Please don't jump.
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Words; 1850
I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I feel like it can be written better but it's good for now.
At least we know how Tsukishima feels and see him go though the process of fear. I know it's not in the best scenario but still.
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💬COMMENT
I know it's been a while since I last updated and I am really sorry but I hope you still enjoy.
Anyways drink water, eat something and take care of
yourself 🤍
This is another trigger warning, the next chapter will have more on suicide so don't force yourself to read it, please just take care of yourself.🤍
EDITED- 10/08/21