TW TW⚠️ self harm so please read at your own risk. Luv u💞
The sun was beaming through the window of my bedroom. I woke up first as usual and started waking up katsuki.
"Katsukiii, wake up we have to take showers." I whispered to him.
"Ughhh" he growled flipping over on his side.
"Fine. By the time I get out of the shower you better be up." I said while hopping off my bed.
I got my clothes from the drawer and went into my bathroom. About 10 minutes pass and I get out the shower. It was quick because we still had to hurry up and get to school.
I went to my bedroom after changing and katsuki was still on the bed half asleep.
"Katsuki! Wake up!" I whisper yelled across my room.
He didn't pay any attention to me. I went over to the bed and got on top of his waist to try and wake him up. I sat there and he finally started to open his eyes.
"Good morning." I smiled out leaning down for a kiss.
He kissed me back and then looked at me and where I was. His hands trailed up my body and onto my a$s under my skirt.
"No touching. You won't wake up so you don't get to touch." I said while getting off him.
Soon after that he got up from the bed and grabbed my wrist spinning me around to him.
He gave me a kiss while hugging my waist. His hands trailed to where they were before gripping tighter. We were so close our chest were touching. I felt something point up on me. It was katsuki.
I pull away from the kiss and cross my arms.
"Why the hell are so horny all the time." I said while walking away from him and to the bathroom to fix my hair.
"It's not my fault! Your the one who's in a skirt and looks so damn hot all the time." He scoffed trying to cover 'it'.
"Oh hush your just making excuses. I wasn't doing anything but kissing you, your the one who gets touchy." I replied.
He came into bathroom with me and stood against the wall just watching me.
I didn't think much of it because he's always clingy.
"You should start getting ready by now." I said to him.
"Ya ya whatever ." He scoffed walking out of the bathroom to go change in my room.
He finally got dressed and we were ready to go.
"BYE KAKI IM LEAVING, PUT MY SHIT FFOM LAST NIGHT IN MY DRAWER." I yelled up the stairs and left the house.
We walked to school with our hands intertwined together.
"You smell like weed ya know." I explained to him .
"Well that's too bad I guess." He scoffed off.
"If you get in trouble for drugs it's not my faultttt." I said exaggerated.
We walked into class 1.A and me and katsuki spilt up to sit at our desk.
"Your final exams are coming up please study over the weekend and be prepared for what monday bring you. Whoever passes gets to go the summer camp. Whoever fails stays here over the summer." Mr aizawa said to the class.
After his lesson we all went to our groups.
Momo was having a study session over the weekend with everyone. I was going to study with katsuki because if I didn't he would be mad. I ranked 8th place and he ranked 3rd.
I walked over to katsuki and plopped a chair in front of him. My head was resting in my hands.
"So should I study with you or with Momo and drink fancy tea?" I sarcastically said.
"ME OBVIOUSLY ,WHY WOULDNT YOU WANT HELP FROM ME!?" He yelled in my face.
"Hey! Calm down ,of course I'll study with you. Just don't be a distraction." I remarked.
"Me a distraction? Your the distraction." He scoffed.
"If you say so. Where are we studying?" I asked him.
"I don't know , shitty hair chose some place." He mumbled out.
The bell rang and we were dismissed to lunch. Me and katsuki got our lunch and went to our table.
"So katsuki about the final exa-" I was cut of by someone hitting my head with their tray.
I turned around quickly and it was a kid from class 1.B.
"Could you watch where the fuck your going?" I scoffed turning back around.
"Oops I'm sorry it's hard to miss your head when it's so big." He remarked.
I started breathing in and out trying to control myself and katuski saw me doing this. Katuski slammed his hand on the table.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO HER?!" He yelled at the boy.
"Katuski clam down its fine. Not a big deal." I said trying to calm him down.
The boy walked away and me and katsuki were very upset trying to calm each other down.
We finished our lunch early and walked around campus until the bell rang.
*time skip •weekend•*
The weekend rolled around and I had to study with Kirishima and katsuki.
Katsuki spent the night till the weekend so we both started getting ready to meet up with Kirishima.
Fit^^
I put on a black shirt with katuskis black jacket over it. I wore baggy pants and some black converse. I looked very bummy but we were just studying so I didn't have to look amazing.
I came out the bathroom and katsuki was waiting on my bed.
"Ok you ready?" I asked him.
"Ya lets go, grab your bag." He reminded me.
We got in his car and drove off.
*text from kiri🗿*
"Hey I'm here btw already! Just letting you know."
"Np we will be there in a sec."
*end of convo*
"Katsuki ,Kirishima is already there by the way." I informed him.
He nodded and just kept driving. We finally reached a small restaurant and pulled in.
Me and katsuki walked in and saw Kirishima right away.
We sat down and pulled out everything we needed. Katsuki was very pushy and trying his best to help us. I was getting it down but kiri needed some more help.
"ITS NOT THAT HARD IDIOT YOU JUST MULTIPLY X BY 26!" Katsuki yelled at him while hitting his head.
I slapped my hand on his chest so he could stop.
"yelling is not going to help him." I explained to katsuki.
I switched my seats and sat next to Kirishima so I could help him understand. Katsuki crossed his arms in his seat with a pissed of look.
About 3 hours and our study session came to an end. Me and katsuki headed back to the car and started driving home.
I was so tired I was falling asleep on the window. We made it home but I was asleep in his car. He came over to the passenger seat and carried me to my doorstep. He got my keys from my pocket and unlocked the door while carrying me inside. He put me gently on the bed and kissed my forehead.
"Goodnight dumbass." He said while pulling away from my face.
I wasn't really asleep. I woke up when we were on the stairs.
He went to my bathroom and took a shower because he didn't this morning. While he was in the shower I got up from the bed and turned on my tv to watch the anime we were watching the other day.
*15 minutes pass*
Katsuki comes out of bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist looking for his bag.
"Oh your awake again." He said seeing me on the bed watching anime.
"Ya I woke up when you got in the shower." I smiled out.
He found his bag and went to the bathroom to go change. When he came out he jumped onto my bed and put his head in my lap while hugging my waist. I scratch his head while he slowly falls asleep on my lap. I couldn't fall asleep that night at all. It was Sunday and we had school the next day. I needed to rest.
I felt something telling me to stay up. My eyes just wouldn't shut. When I can't sleep after 2 My thoughts start running. I can always just watch tv to help but katsuki was asleep on me and I didn't wanna wake him. I can feel myself going into a depressive episodes. All my thoughts are thinking about is the past.
All I could think about was my mom, and that villain. That villain ruined everything. How me and kaki were traumatized. How we had to leave our house and go with our aunt. How I never grew up with a dad. I still miss my mom everyday. I felt a tear silently fall down my face.
I got up and went to the bathroom. When I closed the door I slid down the back of it and started crying quietly. I was crying for at least 15 minutes. When I get like this I can't stop myself or my intrusive thoughts.
My hands were shaking and all I wanted to do was control the pain. The only pain I can control is when hurt myself. I can't do that,it's been to long and I worked too hard. I can't continue old habits.
I tried stopping myself but my emotions took over. I shakily stood up and opened the drawer in my sink. In there was a pocket knife. I grabbed it and slid down against a wall.
I held it up to my wrist and thought about everything before I could go on. Tears streaming down my face blurring my vision. I was sobbing on the floor at this point. Did I really want to waste 6 months of me being clean right now, I thought to myself. 6 hard months of fighting with myself.
"Why did you have to .. Leave us.. mom" I said in between sobs.
I pressed the cold knife against my arm without cutting it. I wanted to but I didn't at the same time. Before I could stop I slid the knife across my arm hard. It felt like a weight off chest. It felt like everything was fine for 3 seconds. Like I needed this, I wanted it. My hand was shaking but I couldn't stop. I made 2 other cuts on the same arm. It felt like time stopped every time I did it. My whole forearm bleeding out from this. The last one wasn't as deep as the first two but still pretty bad.
Blood was leaking out of my arm onto my hand and legs from the deep cuts I made. I was sobbing louder trying to cover my mouth. I went to far. I regret everything at this moment. The good feeling goes away after 5 seconds. Panic started to happen. I dropped the knife and covered my mouth trying not to panic.
Katsuki bursts through the door hearing me crying and runs to me in the corner. He kicks away the knife from my reach.
"WHAT THE HELL DUMBASS, WHAT HAPPENED." He yelled as he wrapped his arms around my shaking body.
"Why did you do this! Y/N TALK TO ME!" He yelled shaking my body. I could see tears forming from his eyes.
I couldn't even hear him over my crying and me blocking out other sounds.
He ran out the bathroom and woke my brother up. Kaki came bursting in like katsuki and asked me a bunch of questions.
My arm still bleeding a lot Kaki put a shirt of mine over it and told me that I needed to go to the hospital.
I couldn't hear him still and katsuki picked me up and carried me downstairs. All I could hear was my breathing and my heartbeat.They put me in the car in the backseat with katsuki. He held onto me while putting pressure on my arm.
"Hey everything is going to be ok." Katsuki whispered in my ear and holding me.
"I-Im sorry k-katsuki. I d-dont know." I stuttered out crying.
I had a hard time breathing and it was even harder when I was crying. I was having a panic attack. I couldnt focus on his voice like he asked me to. I was freaking out but I couldn't even feel the pain from my cut from all the adrenaline running through my body.
I saw everything go dark, my vision was getting blurry and then it was all dark. I passed out from all the blood loss.
Kaki finally pulled up to the hospital and they walked me in. Katuski was carrying me in cause I was passed out. They brought me in and I was immediately brought to the emergency room.
*time skip you wake up*
Hellooo I hope you liked this chapter
I thought we needed some SaDnEss so here you go. I'm gonna release this in 2 chapter at the same time bc uh I feel like it and I don't think you guys wanna wait.
tell me ur thoughts for this chapter in the comments!💞