"Ehshaan Mand Hai Dil Ab Se Tera
Ye Fraz Kaisa Hai Kya Naam Du Bata
Koyi Jaane Na Dusra
Samjhe Tuhi Meri Zubaan
Maine Mujh Sa Deewanapan
Ho Ho Oh Dekha
Na Kahin Tere Siva"
I stood in the kitchen having decided to make a little something for tonight. I'd missed having it myself and I knew Sidharth missed it too. Maa had gone to rest just a few minutes after Khushal left, the entire morning becoming a playful teasing session thanks to him having arrived at perhaps both the best and worst situation he couldve. Last night was still as dreamy as it was in reality, the fact that he did it the first moment he could had my heart gushing with love. Sidharth was always all about the small things, calm dinners, beach dates here and there or even just long drives when we both had a little too much on our minds. Last night was a good mix of all of it. The past grudges seemed to have left my mind, the path back to love clear of everything it was covered with Before. The unsaid words and emotions now freed from the cages of restrictions we'd put them in. I smiled to myself deciding to play a little music as I worked away. I played some of my own too, mostly the unreleased versions. I'd gotten into doing covers of songs I liked, keeping them to myself usually due to never really being sure enough to post any of them. I shuffled the playlist smiling profoundly as Dil Ko Karaar aaya played. It was one of Sidharth's most recent projects, the cinematography and lyrics enough to put a person in daze. I wasnt to fond of the rest of the video for very obvious reasons. I went back to working on the dinner humming along as I got through both the cutting and preparing the stoves. Pav bhaji wasnt much of an easy or hard dish, it depended on how enthusiastic you were into making it. Also the fact that the butter was compulsory and taking it away would ruin the entire taste. Letting the bhaji simmer for a while I moved onto the little counter top taking in the events that bad happened the whole past week. The closeness we dwelled into completely ignoring the differences wasnt common in itself not forgetting the comfort we both did it with. I still remembered the entire wedding and exactly how weird it was being put into a room with him and not having proper conversation or how I'd wanted him to comeback somewhere deep within myself throughout. The fact that even in 5 years I'd never once let Karan be lead on in anyway regarding where he stood in my life. He was a friend and that was all he'd ever be even if we had gotten married. It was weird even thinking that now but I was glad he showed me the exact side he was hiding soon enough. Getting that insecure with me being around Sidharth knowing well enough I'd made no promises was worse than I'd expected. The simplicity of him having known all through that I loved Sidharth seemed to have disappeared the sudden he saw the reality of it in front of his eyes. The way Sidharth reacted seeing me with that dancer was quite the same but for a reason weird enough it felt good when he rightfully dragged me out of the party. I'd wanted that. For ages. Just the mere show of rightfulness from his side. And even though I'd acted like it hurt... the truth is, the hurt never came because of him. It was because of the situation we'd wound up in, our hearts beating against each other but only partially in sync or the fact that I couldnt hum along with him when he sang the last few lines or just the feeling of getting what I'd yearned for but in a situation where I couldnt appreciate it.
Si - "Yeh post kyun nhi kiya kabhi?"
I jump slightly being awakened from my daze. "Huh? Kya.. woh main actually-" I mentally slap myself for the fumble.
Si - "Cover.. release kyun nhi kiya?"
S - "Aise hi... ghar pe record kiya itna acha nhi hai to-"
"It's perfect. Covers aise hi hote hai, khud pe itne standards lgana chhod do. I and all your fans love you for what you already are. Best hai tu aise hi" he mumbled limping over to where I sat, standing right in between my legs, his hands lightly resting against my shoulders. He knew well enough what he was doing, the smirk on his face promised so.
Flashback :
"Sidharth! Idhar aa kr woh box nikal de na please upar se? Mera haath nhi jayega waha tk" I yell across the room to where he say walking into the kitchen myself. We'd been in the apartment for the past 2 days and ordered out for each of our meals, a very stupid buy obvious devision when neither of us had enough energy to make more than a cup of tea. We'd gone on a hike Saturday morning and since then were dead sore. Perhaps the running up the track wasnt much of a good choice that too in basketball shoes instead of runners. The reason behind that was the game we'd challenged each other for right after the hike. I'd won, proudly with a lead of 3 but he'd practically never admit to that.
Si - "Cheat krkr jeeti thi tu by the way, I was tying my laces, you weren't supposed to shoot."
S - "Tu mujhe shoot nhi krne de raha tha aur woh trick thi jismein tu fas gya by choice toh cheating nhi hai yeh. Youre just being a sore loser"
Si - "Im being what?"
I gave him a teasing smile in return to the sarcastic one on his. "A sore loser" I whispered right against his ears getting on my tip toes to reach the height. "Chal
Ab woh box utar k de nhi toh khana nhi milega" I chime making my way into the small pantry for the rest of the ingredients. I gasped feeling myself being pulled back and picked up the next second. "A sore loser?" He questioned putting me against the empty counter standing himself in between my legs. I take a deep breath recovering from the stunt he'd just pulled, the intense gaze of his eyes not helping much. "Haan toh tu hai na? Ek baar haar gya toh kya hua? Kaunsa championship khel rahe the hum waha" I murmur my voice relatively lower than what it was before.
Si - "I dont lose baby, you know that very well, challenge ki jo dares thi woh toh tune di hi nhi"
My breaths got shallower by seconds feeling him lean in closer letting his hands rest over my shoulders, bending his face towards my own. "Haan woh bhul gyi kyun ki-" I pause mid sentence feeling his warm breath fan my collarbone, the frail kurta I was wearing not doing much of what it was made for.
"Kyun ki kya baby?" He questioned trailing his thumb across my nape. I let out a soft breathe trying to get myself to focus on my own words instead of his actions.
"Kyunki Khushal aur Jai tere jeet te hi waha aa gye the, right?" Sidharth asks breaking my trance. I gasp letting my mouth for a small o. How in the world did he know what I was thinking?!
"Tujhse Hi Din Shuru Shaamein Dhale
Ab Toh Nazar Se Bhi Na Tu Hate
Jitni Hai Fursatein Fursatein
De Du Saari Main Tujhe Tu Mujhe
Jis Raah Jis Raah Bhi Jaaun
Tujhko Tukho Hi Chaahun
Humrah Abse Mera Tu
Humraah Main Bhi Tera Hu"