Shehnaaz :
I moved downstairs sitting by maa as everyone sat deciding the chudiyan they were going to choose. My mehndi from last night was as dark as it could possibly be, shocking enough for someone who got drenched in rain. On top of that I didn't expect it, they say the darker the stain the deeper the love but right now, I didn't have anyone who loved me as dark as the stain was. I hadn't had such a good experience with it either. Love.. I shook the thought out of my head as Maahi walked over handing me a set of chudiyan. I took them placing them into my hands, I loved both the colour and sound. I looked over finding both my mom and maa talking a few feet away just like they used to at weekend dinners. Our families fit so well together. Learning each other's languages, cultures, traditions even routines. They only misfit was us I guess. I felt a lump form in my throat. This is why I didn't want to come to the wedding. They saw me looking gesturing to come over. Nodding I got up walking over to where they stood.
SiM - "Mehndi toh dikha apni, ache se dekh bhi nhi paaye hum"
I smile forwarding my hands towards them. The jolly smile making me look over it myself to see what was so special. Mom points it out passing me an ear to ear smile. The tears from before burst, I didn't want this false hope anymore. "Maa.. yeh aapne- k..kyun kiya? Mujhe nhi chahiye yeh " I mumble rubbing over the small "s" she'd hid well into the design. She stopped my hand looking me in the eyes, the soft tears wiped away the next second with the pad of her thumb. "Maa se jhooth bolegi? Sunna maine ki woh Karan kya kya keh raha tha us din. Baaz ne btaya sab. Koyi nhi krvayga teri usse shaadi. Aur yeh.. yeh meri wish hai. Tumhare saath saath. Na toh usko koyi aur pasand ayegi aur na hi tujhe. Tum dono pagal ek dusre k liye hi ho. Sab kuch sambhal skte ho bacha. Ek baar koshish toh kro?"
S - "Maine ki thi. Ek baar nhi bohut baar. Kya hua? Samjha usne?"
SM - "Sanu.. dekh puttar. Tujhe khud bhi pta hai ki jo abhi inhone bola woh sach hai. 2 saal se shaadi k liye mnna kr rahi hai tu. Maa hu teri. Tune nhi krni koshish toh mat kr. Usse krne de."
I walked off grabbing the keys to my car and driving to my apartment. I couldn't face it. They were right. It was heartbreaking to even imagine myself with someone else. The love, the care.... the happiness I got with him wasn't going to be the same. Perhaps that's why they said that love was just another version of pain. Falling in love was easy, it took a glance, eye contact and bam your mind is full of them and only them. Then begins the heartwarming part. The part where everything's pink and shiny, the part where you're talking day and night and still not bored. The part where you miss each other the moment you're apart. And lastly... the heartbreak. It happens in every successful and unsuccessful relationship. Depending on whether you're okay dealing with that for the person or not. The fights, perspective clashes and the needs. Love prevails as long as you remember why you were in it in the first place. I crash into my sofa, taking a deep breath. I had hours until I needed to be back, I deserved some time alone. I made myself a coffee,picking up my laptop on the way back. I still had all our pictures stored. It wasn't in my heart to delete them. A smile forced its way over my lips. The capture as beautiful as beautiful got. The tears increased along with the smile. My mind and heart both not deciding which one to keep and let go. I had captured of him sleeping, selfies of me sitting in his lap, my arm wrapped around his neck, face leaning into his. Some on the beach, malls, school ground, rain....
You know when you share you're everything with someone with the sole expectation that they'll always be there but as time goes their the first to leave? Well after they leave... the things you shared with them also leave. For example the happiness I got in rain. It wasn't the same once he was gone. I wasn't used to dancing with the air anymore. My hands almost always stretched out far enough for his shoulders. I get up with a jerk hearing a knock on the door. No one was supposed to come here. I knew it wasn't anyone from the family, I'd already texted all of them. It can't be the moms either. I sighed opening the door, letting myself freeze seeing the face outside. He smiled walking in not saying a word. I looked outside seeing if there was anyone else there but the halls were empty.
