On the other side -
Kh - "Bhai? Kya soch rahe ho? Subah se bahar bhi nhi aaye. Jai ko club k liye bhi mnna krdiya-"
"Shehnaaz" I murmured, my head pounding at the way her name rolled off of my tongue. It'd been way too long.
SiM - "Shehnaaz kya? 5 saal baad usski yaad kaise aa gyi? Itne saal na khud mila na hi humein milne diya. Poora ghar sunna chahta hai uski woh sab baatein, lekin-"
Kh - "Maasi.. woh bhi toh nhi aayi? "
SiM - "Apne dost se puch, aayi thi woh mere kehne pe lekin fir bhej diya isne jhagd kr. Mere saamne jo bola uski toh baat hi chhod do, bahar jis salike se usse Dhaka diya uske liye toh main bhi isse maaf nhi karungi"
Si - "Mera hogya, main room mein jaata hu"
Kh - "Bhai.. Maasi apne kyun woh sab yaad dilaaya isse? Bhul jao na? Uski bhi toh koi majboori hogi"
SiM - "Majboori mein rishte nhi todne jaate, problem discuss kr skta tha. Main Kbhi nhi yaad dilaati usse lekin aise nhi chale ga na beta? Agle saal 29s ka ho jayega. Shaadi k baare mein baat karu toh problem hai aur Shehnaaz ka naam lu toh kmre mein jaa kr rone lg jaata hai. Kuch batayga toh samjhugi na"
Kh - "Main dekh ta hu "
I heard my mother complaining before pushing the door closed. I deserved all of this. After all I was the reason my whole family was deprived of the happiness and collectiveness that once flowed through the house. My sisters lived in the houses right around us and yet the last time they had visited was mom's last birthday. My nieces and nephews hadn't even joined. They wanted Sana Maami. I fell to the floor letting the night flow through my head. If only I'd not let Arti in so close. I knew I should've stopped her long before then but I didn't. I cheated the woman that carried my emotional baggage all through the 3 years we were together. I cheated her by letting Arti kiss me. I didn't care if I pushed her off or felt wrong. I let it happen. I couldn't put myself to continue the relationship if I knew I was impulsive when drunk. I couldn't let the best part of my life end so bad; so instead I ended it myself. She cried because of me. Not once but thrice. Everytime she came back. I'd sent her away from my family too. Deprived her of the love she got from the kids. She hadn't shown me herself in 5 years. Each party I tried coming a minute earlier to catch a glimpse but only saw her car driving away. And now tomorrow I was supposed to be with her in the same room for hours. My heart was happy. Happy to finally see her. But another part of it broke thinking who she'd be with or how she'd meet me if she even would.
Kh - "Bhai? Call krlo Jai ko, mnna krdo woh smjhe ga "
Si - "Mujhe jaana hai"
Kh - "Abhi bhi pyaar krte ho?"
I gave him a glare, I couldn't muster words. I'd never even said "I love you" to her. Never those words. But I did. I always had, do and will.
Kh - "Why did you leave her then?"
Si - "Because.... I wasn't good for her. I hurt her.. many times. Even intentionally. I hate myself for it but I couldn't stop. The love, care she'd give me even when I was angry, I loved it. She'd look up at me like I was something superior to everyone else even when I was hurting her. She was so I love with me and I took advantage of that. I liked making her jealous constantly, with the same girls she told me to avoid. She deserved so much more than I was giving her, when I left her... when I told her I wanted to end, she though I was playing a prank but her eyes.. they showed the cracks my words out against her heart. The pain clear on her face. I hated myself after that. I wanted her to hate me too, but she wouldn't. She kept coming back. I pushed her... I raised my hand to push the only thing holding me up"
