"Had se bhi aaghe yeh guzar hi gaya
Khud bhi pareshan hua
Aur mujhko bhi yeh kar gaya
Dil kyun yeh mera shor kare
Dil kyun yeh mera shor kare
Idhar nahi
Udhar nahi
Teri ore chale"
I walk out of the room with a smile playing across my lips. I walked into the kitchen taking one of the chocolate bars I'd seen before. The fridge like always full of them. Itd always been that way, I'd put him onto the habit of having something sweet after every meal. Of course it wasnt healthy but it was definitely happy food. The sugar unleashing a tang of sweetness throughout your day. Today I didn't exactly need it. I felt the adrenaline rush already. The happiness from what just happened enough to put a smile on my face for the whole of the day. The chocolate was to remind me of the same constantly as I worked away, completing much more work than I had in over a year. Maa walked in soon after I began working, heading right over noticing the sheer bliss over my face.
SIM - "Toh sulah ho gyi ? Kya Sana, kuch nakhra bhi nhi kiya, itni jald?"
I chuckle turning towards her hearing the same words she said after each of our fights were resolved. "Mujhe ajj bhi doubt hai ki apne aur mumma ne humein bachpan mein exchange krdiya tha. Unko bologe jab aap toh dekhna kaise shukar krengi ki zyada nhi kheecha" I mumbled shutting the computer screen. She laughed agreeing to what we both knew was true. "Aur vaise bhi abhi sirf gussa door hua, patchup uske manane k baad. Ek toh iski sab jo bottles bacchi hai aap please woh phenk do, aage se pee k dikhaye ye. Pagal ho jaata hai.. hadd se zyada" I grimace mentioning the bottles I still found laying around the home. She agreed moving off to do so while I helped chop up fruit and vegetables for tonight with a pleasant smile spread across my face.
Flashback :
"Sidharthhhh?! Uth na? Dekh itna sab krne ko hai aur tujhe sona hai? Chal yeh sabziyan chop krva mere saath. Maa ki bhi help ho jayegi aur sab khana bhi ready hone rakh denge." I announce untying my chunni from my side. His relatives were all coming over for a small.... no big house party tonight. The whole thing was the idea of the man deep in sleep, laying over the entire bed. We'd already finished most of the cleaning without him deciding to let him rest right now rather than when the guests arrive. I took the half filled glass of water I was drinking walking over to throw it over him when I felt him pull me down, the water cascading down the both of us. "Not again baby. Aur vaise uthane k aur bhi bohut tareeke hote hai. Like "
I push back feeling his lips lingering over mine. My breaths slightly uneven due to both the fall and... well it was self explanatory enough. "Chup chap uth aur help krva meri... yeh sab tab tak not allowed."
Si - "Yeh cheating hai. First off main kitchen mein nhi jaata hu sivay chai banane aur woh bhi tere kaaran toh yeh toh not happening"
S - "Toh seekhle na bebu? Abhi help chahiye nhi toh hath tutt jayenge mere akeli krti k."
"Maa aur di kaha hai?" He questioned sitting up, his hair falling over his eyes due to the length. "Woh abhi saaf safayi kr k market gye thode time" I reply moving out of the room with the now empty glass. He follows groaning every now and then as I instruct him on how to do it making sure he didn't cut himself. We get through half the batch as easy as it could possibly be. The other half split into two portions for the either of us to work through. I restrain from letting him cut anywhere but the board knowing exactly how much it'd sting if he cut his finger.
I hiss dropping the knife looking at a small cut I'd gotten myself. I mentally slap myself for trying to do two things at once. I move into the kitchen quick enough for maa to not notice and wash the cut of with soap, stopping the bleeding right under the water. I step to the other side if the sink finding the band aids exactly where they always were. Walking back outside I feel the urge to go check his room, maa seemingly reading the same from my eyes. She gestured me to go ensuring she could do the rest. I nod deciding to give in. I was always happy she was understanding instead of someone who'd probably taunt me for the same. I move in not too surprised to see him trying to push himself up, not exactly completely awake. I huff moving towards him, "Sidharth? Bacha hai kya tu? Kitni baar bataun k agar paani tak bhi chahiye toh mujhe bol? Aur itni jaldi uth kyun gya" I ask baffled at his constant tries to do anything but call for help.
Si - "woh tu aur maa baat kr rahe the aur mujhe bas washroom tak jaana tha toh-"
S - "Toh kya? Aise aage se hua toh I swear ghar chale jaana hai main-"
Si - "Nhi. You're not going anywhere. Nhi karunga kuch bhi I promise but you wont leave for even a whole hour."
The urgency in his voice took me slightly by surprise. He was like this before too but not like this. Not as easy to get him to agree to what I asked. I walk him to the washroom, helping him walk around the room a few times to let him stretch out his legs before I sat him back down, sitting myself in front of him,his legs laying over my lap. "Kuch bolna hai?" I ask looking at his utterly complicated expression. He shook his head just slightly. I noticed his finger tapping against the back of the other hand. A clear indication that something was going on in his mind. "Bol na Sidharth? Merese nhi chupa skta tu" I mumble taking his hand in mine.
Si - "Karan....? Karan ka kya hua? Mtlb tere dad..shaadi. Dekh main unhe mnna lunga agar thode bhi naaraz hai toh but-"
S - "Agar Karan abhi bhi hota toh main aise tere saath rehne aati? Soch ek baar.. Shehnaaz aisa karegi kisi k saath? Aur papa ko tu bhi jaanta hai. Unhe gussa hai tere se pr nafrat nhi. Unhe bhi pta hai ki tere ilaawa na main pyaar kiya hai na karungi toh kyun shaadi karvaynge woh meri? Ab yeh bakwaas sochna band kr aur-"
Si - "Cuddle kr skte hai? Thodi der?"
I look up at his face, void of any one emotion. I could almost see the turmoil he was going through. The confusions and secrets we still had yet to get to. "Sirf ajj" I mumble softly sliding back beside him. I knew what I just promised was untrue. I had yet to feel the cuddles once again and still my heart felt as if it would fail. I make him turn, spooning him myself to make sure his arm didn't get placed under my head. His scent seemed to intoxicate me the same way mine did with him. The slow calming breaths and touches drifting the both of us off to sleep.
"Sagar ki baahon mein maujein hain jitni
Sagar ki baahon mein maujein hain jitni
Humko bhi tumse mohabbat hai utni
Ke yeh bekarari
Ke yeh bekarari na ab hogi kam
Bahut pyaar karte hain tumko sanam"
