After spending the last day and a half doing homework, I'm ready to socialize again. Well, partially ready.
I'm sweating. The bus ride to Grandma's house is far too long, and gives me too much time to think. How am I going to introduce Caleb? How am I going to keep my cool? How am I going to dodge invasive questions, and avoid embarrassing stories?
What if Caleb is already there, being bombarded by my extended family? What if he gets overwhelmed? What if he's already told them that we're boyfriends?
I'm not only nervous, I'm flat out scared. Scared of what Granny Murdock will say, scared of what my aunts and uncles will think, scared of my cousins finding out.
I try to take deep breaths, but nothing can calm my nerves. I'm practically shaking by the time I step off the bus. I have to take off my coat while i walk so the cold air can cool my trembling body.
I might throw up. I lean over a gutter drain, paying close attention to the temperature of my saliva. I sit down on the curb, holding my head between my knees.
"You're okay." I say aloud, massaging my neck. "You're going to be fine, you'll see. It's just thanksgiving, there's nothing to worry about."
It takes a while to talk myself down from an anxiety attack, but I eventually overcome the tightness in my chest. I take deep breaths, and stand to look at the sky. Overcast. I just hope it doesn't snow.
I close the final distance to my grandma's house, noting the cars spilling out the driveway and lining the street. Even the Eldridge's car. That means Caleb is already here. Deep breaths.
I think about his embrace, and his warm smile. If i want to see him, I have to go in there. I can do this. I can totally do this.
When I open the door, all eyes turn to me. The gesture normally would have made me freak out, but everyone seems excited to see me. Several people call my name, and some of my cousins run over to hug me. After hugs and kisses for the kids, I make my way into the house.
Everyone's gathered around the kitchen island thing, laughing and talking with Caleb and his mom. When he sees me, he smiles even wider. Not quite a "love smitten" smile, but open that says "I'm so happy to see you again."
I greet my aunts with a hug for each, and give my uncles hand shakes all around. When I finally land next to Caleb, I give him a fist bump.
He leans in quick and whispers. "Friends."
I nod my thanks. Our secret is safe for now.
"So, skylar." Aunt Kelsey says, bringing my attention to the people around me. "Caleb was telling us about how you two met."
"Oh, how much did he tell you?" I nudge him playfully.
"Not much yet." He shrugs. "We were at a party."
"Yeah, friend of a friend... of a friend." Everyone laughs when I explain.
Apparently that satisfies everyone, because they go back to bombarding Caleb with personal questions. I stay by his side in case he gets overwhelmed. It only takes a couple of minutes before he reaches over and taps my knee under the counter top.
I sit up straight as if remembering something. I turn to Caleb, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh hey, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Oh, yeah." He nods, acting surprised.
I lead him away from the crowd, and down a side hall of empty bedrooms. I pick a random one and we slip inside, closing the door after us. I slump in a desk chair, letting out a heavy sigh.
"When you said there would be a lot of people here, I was expecting thirteen." Caleb plops down on the bed. "Where in the world did you get 30 people from?"
I shrug. "Big family. This isn't even including the out of state cousins."
"The outta-sta-WHAA?" He crosses his eyes, then falls backward. "I'm never going to remember names."
"I don't expect you to." I laugh. "I'm glad you're here, though. Thanks for coming." I scoot over and put a hand on his knee.
"Of course," He sits up. "I'm just glad you decided to invite me."
I roll my eyes, rolling the chair forward. "What was I supposed to do, leave you to eat an entire box of taquitos by yourself while watching chick flicks?"
Hey, there's nothing wrong with chick flicks!" He pouts. "Don't insult me."
I smile, memorizing his face. "Okay, I won't."
"You're not supposed to give in so easily." He leans forward, almost touching his nose to mine. "Where's your competitive spirit?"
"I'm saving it for later." I smirk, pushing my lips to touch his.
"Mff. I've missed this." He says between kisses.
I missed it too. This light and tingly feeling in my chest, this fluttery feeling in my stomach, the warmth in my limbs. Him. He makes me believe that everything's going to be okay.
Suddenly the door opens, and I shove Caleb away as fast as I can. "Hey skylar, dinner's read-"
Asher stands in the doorway, mouth closed in a thin line.
"Oh thank god it's just you." I slouch in relief.
He shakes his head. "Um, anyway... I'm going by Sophie again, and using she/ her pronouns... just for tonight."
"Good to know." I nod. "Now can you leave so I can make out with my 'very good friend from school'?"
"Friend from school, got it." Sophie nods. She leaves, but doesn't close the door.
I groan in frustration. "You garden gnome!"
"Sucks to suck, lizard guts!"
I roll my eyes, standing to go. I hold out my hand to Caleb, and he follows me back into the fray. He lets go of my hand as we walk down the hall, and takes the opportunity to pinch my butt just before we turn the corner into the kitchen.
I do my best not to react, but my face is all kinds of red when we sit down at the dinner table.
Let the games begin
~
Everything was going smoothly... for about five minutes. Everyone talked and ate, passed turkey, and swapped jokes. I was relaxed. I rested my leg against Caleb's under the table, content with the casual touch.
I noticed two seats were empty, but I had assumed we miscalculated how many places we needed. I should've known better than to doubt Granny Murdock. She never counts wrong.
When the door opens, my heart drops to my stomach. It's Arielle and Alexander. I can't believe I'd forgotten about them.
They greet everyone, then take their seats... right across from me and Caleb.
Arielle glances at me, but doesn't say a word. She doesn't even smile. She knows.
"I don't think we've met." Alexander offers his hand across the table. "I'm Alexander, and this is my wife Arielle."
Caleb shakes his hand. "I'm Caleb, a friend of Skylar's. This is my mom, Ms. Eldridge."
I'm glad he specified her as 'Ms. Eldridge' because other wise, I know Ari would have asked where the dad is. That would have been a disaster.
But alas. Arielle blasts right through social cues, and asks the dreaded question anyway. "So Caleb, where's your dad? Is he busy today?"
"So Arielle, where's your mom?" I snap before anyone else has time to react. "Is she busy today?"
Sophie chokes on her drink, Alexander's eyes nearly bug out of his head, and Caleb stiffens with barely contained laughter. Arielle glares at me with a fiery gaze.
"Hey now, you didn't need to take it that far-"
"Well you don't need to be so presumptuous and rude."
Everyone stares at me for a second, and I start to regret everything. That was really harsh. I should've at least waited until after dinner. I'm about to take back what if said, but Caleb puts a hand on my shoulder.
He laughs, easing the tension. "Anyway, Sophie will you pass the butter?"
Arielle shakes her head as if to chastise me for my immaturity. I don't care. It felt good to finally say something against her. It felt good to defend him. But at what cost? Everything is awkward now.
Alexander breaks the silence by asking Caleb about school. Since they are in generally the same major, he asks specifics, and they talk about their common interests.
Then he asks a question i was not prepared for.
"So, Caleb. Do you have a special lady in your life?"
I choke.
Caleb wipes his hands calmly, then sets them in his lap, pretending to be thoughtful. "Not yet, but..." he puts his hand on my thigh under the table. "I've got my eye on a certain ballerina."
No way. My jaw drops. That's what you're going with? My code name is BALLERINA?!
Caleb just smirks at me.
"Skylar, do you know her?"
I nod slowly. "Yeah. I'm familiar."
"What about you, Sky? You got a girlfriend yet?" My aunt Cere puts in.
I glance at Arielle, not at all surprised at the disgusted look on her face. She definitely knows. She raises an eyebrow as if challenging me.
I look back at Cere. "No, not yet."
"What? You've been in school for five months!" Frank says. "What have you been doing all this time?"
Fighting evil. Protecting the city. Making out with my boyfriend. "Studying."
Caleb nods. "This dude hardly ever isn't studying. He's gotta be top of the class or som'm."
I roll my eyes, nudging him with my elbow. "I doubt it, but thanks anyway."
After that, everything settles down... everything except for me. I can still feel Arielle's eyes, and suspicious glances from the others. It makes my stomach turn.
I've become hyper aware of every time Caleb touches me. Our arms keep brushing, his knee knocks on mine, and he keeps bumping my foot with his. I love him, and I love his little and casual touches, but right now it's really starting to freak me out.
My aunts and uncles are going to see. They're going to know. They probably already know.
"Hey," Caleb nudges me, making my eyes go wide. "You're not eating."
He's right. I've been trying to distract myself with other conversations and eavesdropping on the kid table.
I feel sick. I feel clammy and sweaty. My hands are trembling. Oh no not again.
"Excuse me." I mumble, pushing out my chair. I stand and make my way out.
With one hand on my head, I stumble into the bathroom and turn on the sink. Flowing water. Something about letting the negative energy roll off like water?
I clutch the sink, struggling against my own body. My throat is tight, as if someone has their hand clamped around it. I unbutton the top three buttons of my shirt, hoping the cold air will fix my collapsing lungs.
"Skylar? Buddy are you in there?" Caleb knocks on the door.
I put my hand over my heart, my muscles suddenly going tense. I feel like my chest is being squeezed from all sides. My shoulders are too heavy to hold up. My head is swimming, and I hold tight as I begin to teeter to one side.
Hands on my shoulders. I look up into the mirror to see Caleb standing behind me. He smiles comfortingly, and I turn to hug him close.
"Breathe with me." He whispers in my ear.
I nod, clutching the back of his shirt. We inhale together, then exhale. In, out. The smell of his shirt puts me at ease; a mix of his natural scent and cologne.
In. Out. One at a time. Everything's gonna be okay.
Caleb runs his hands over my back, warming me up and dispelling some of the tension. "Better?"
"Better." I breathe again, airways clear and chest relaxed.
"Good. Do you want to go back?"
"Not yet." I whisper, setting my chin on his shoulder.
We stand there for a moment longer, simply content with each other. I am so grateful for him. So incredibly grateful that he's here for me, and that he puts up with my issues.
"I love you." I whisper. "So much I can hardly stand it."
"I love you too, babydoll." He pulls away and kisses my forehead. "Let's go."
-
"I am grateful for..." Granny Murdock starts, and excited energy floats around the room. "Family. I love every one of you, and watching you grow into fine parents. We've had our ups and downs, but we stay together, strong because of each other."
Caleb nudges me. "What's going on?"
"Every year we go around the table and say something we're grateful for." I whisper, half listening to Granny. "It can be a few words, or you can give a little speech if you'd like."
He nods. "I know what I'm grateful for."
I smile, then turn back to the conversation at hand.
Everyone gives speeches littered with 'family' and 'friends' and 'opportunity'. Arielle goes on for a whole minute, spilling about gospel and eternal happiness. I just pay attention to my food, and nod occasionally.
This is expected. Everyone's gonna be really surprised when they hear mine.
Am I ready? Are they ready? Can I actually do this?
There's no time to think.
"I'm thankful that I moved to Utah." Caleb says honestly. "I love it here." He slips his hand into mine as if to say I love it here... with you.
That gives me the extra push I need. My chest swells with courage, and I wear a brave smile. The only way to overcome my fear is to face it head on. "I'm thankful for my boyfriend."
Silence.
Caleb's eyes widen, and he analyzes my expression. When he detects my determination, he squeezes my hand proudly.
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make." I breathe, looking around the table at all the waiting relatives. "Caleb and I are dating."
-
-
Hahaha bet you didn't see that one coming!! Tbh neither did I but.. he's one unpredictable lad, isn't he?
Sorry for taking so long to update, I had it all written out on paper, and haven't had a chance to type it out, so I'm typing this during a road trip lol.
Anywho, thanks for reading!!