~Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure~
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Ammar:
I woke up with that one thought that has constantly been on my mind, the stupid kiss I shared with Aaliyah.
Her lips touched my brain as they touched my lips, as though they were a vehicle of some vague speech and between them I felt an unknown and timid preasure, darker than the swoon of sin, softer than sound or odor.
What a beautiful woman, I thought as I saw her making a bowl of cereal for herself, clearly still a little pissed about last night and this morning when she saw zarah coming out of my room.
I expected her to be hostile towards zarah, but surprisingly she's not and it's pissing me off.
Her caramel skin and curly black hair spreads in wavy chops like the choppy storm waves on the ocean. Her fluffy rose colored lips glisten with eyes deep brown and almond shaped set deep into her face and yet when she looks at me with those same deep set of eyes, it feels like they jump out, speaking to me.
And behind those eyes there is a girl trapped within her pain, a girl feeling all the emotions of anger and sadness and pain. She's fighting for a way out.
She wore a plain gray bodysuit, the contrast between its tailored severity and her appearance was deliberately exorbitant and strangely elegant.
She moved with grace, she was entirely feminine, and yet, she possessed incredible inner strength.
She has this balanced inner calmness that radiates from a peaceful centre. She neither craves others approval nor rejects others presence. She neither pulls towards nor pushes away. She has a reverent attitude towards life and all its inhabitants.
She is complicated, mysterious, yet content with the simple things in life. Even if I try to understand her, I can't seem to figure her out. But I know I am free to accept her the way she is.
She's the kind of person that does what is right In the midst of happiness or despair, in sorrow or in joy, in pleasure or in pain.
I quickly glanced at Zarah who is now seated on the couch as she smokes a stick of cigarette and I thought, Why lose femininity which is one of a woman's greatest charms? She would get more accomplished by being charming than she would be flaunting around in pants and smoking. I looked away disgusted, Zarah's attitude never disgusted me this much until today.
It is only through Aaliyah that I have come to realise that a life without femininity, devoid of mystery, emotion, gentleness and the unerring power of a woman's love is no life at all.
"There's a party at my place tonight, you should come" Zarah told me
"Whose party is it?" I asked, with my eyes fused to Aaliyah's backside as she walks away with her bowl of cereal, it made Zarah's blood boil for an unknown reason. She ignored the question as asked her earlier.
Just as I'm about to look away, Aaliyah turned around and her eyes met mine. And I felt a certain kind of vibration and my heart melted as I gaze into those beautiful eyes.
I thought about the way she danced at Kim's birthday party. Her dancing was as smooth as the rest of her, her feet gliding across the floor in time with the music and with little difficulty. I very much enjoyed the view
I don't understand why I am feeling this way, maybe it's because Aaliyah is a kind hearted person and Kindness has no boundaries. It is the language of the soul.
My mood suddenly changed when I remembered the little hearty conversation she had with Kim this morning.
I Overheard her telling Kim that She had a boyfriend. it's evident that Her feelings for him still linger, he is her first true love from how she explains it and first love doesn't just vanish. But she ignored him and kept to herself for some reason
For all the way he loved her, Every song has his memory, every rain has his smell, and every guy has his face. She said
The Nobel Prize, An Olympics Gold Medal, The Academy Award (Oscars), The Pulitzer Prize or any other award or prize for that matter are nothing to him when compared to winning Her heart. She added
She made it clear that she spends all night weaving a poem for him to wear, because she thought he looked so beautiful when he wears her light.
"All I needed to do is place my pen against paper and his love writes for me, I fell in love with him and then I became love" She said
"Love, they said, burns you and builds you.
But with my ex, there was no ash. Just light" Aaliyah finally said and at that point, she was at the verge of shedding tears.
He seem like the kind of man that would do anything to protect her and do anything for her, even if it means he'll never be the man she gives herself to.
I figured out that she is a girl in love with sunsets and he was a man hell-bent on being her sunrise
Her words kept playing over and over in my head like a broken record. My blood boiled at the thought that she thinks of another man better than I am.
It hurt a lot, It ruined my mood completely and my appetite too, even though I am not in love with her. I can't possibly fall in love with anyone else because falling in love and moving on sounds like betrayal to "Fatima" my dead ex. I will never do that to her, I owe her that.
When we were done having breakfast, I went up to her room and I told her that I am going to drop Zahra at home in a bit. I left the room after calling her a dumb, worthless, unemployed loser just to make myself feel better.
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