October 31st, Halloween
-
"What are you thinking about so hard?"
I looked back at Sophia as I slid a book into the bookcase. "Nothing, why?"
A small smile pulled at her lips. "Whenever you're thinking intently you start messing with my books." I looked down at the four books in my hand, not realizing I was reorganizing her stuff. To be fair, she was terrible at organizing her stuff. "So, want to talk about it?"
"Yes. You had small books in the middle of tall books. It makes it looks so.. messy and unkempt." She gave me a look as I slid the books into a better looking spot. "Fine okay um.. I can't wrap my head around something."
Sitting down in the chair in front of her, I crossed on leg and picked at the stray string from the chair. "When I was.. taken advantage of," she nodded. "Something happened."
"Something you don't understand?" I nodded and she studied me for a moment as if she could already tell what I was thinking. "Something with your body?"
"Yes." I mumbled, my throat clearing. "I obviously didn't want it to happen but it did and.. and it was.." I sighed and rubbed down my face. I couldn't even believe the words that were going to leave my mouth. "When it was happening I.. I like.." I made a motion with my hands and her head tilted. "I.. what's the fancy term for it, ejaculated?"
She hummed and nodded. "Y/n that's normal." My eyes shot wide at her nonchalance. "Our bodies respond to touch, sensations. It doesn't happen to everyone but it does happen. You have a much more sensitive appendage than many women so a touch triggers you, no matter the circumstances."
This entire time I thought I was fucking sick because of what happened. I even had thought where my mind went to 'maybe you did like it' and here I was just now finding out.. wow.
"So you're saying even though that happened it doesn't mean I wanted it?" She nodded with a small smile. "Wow..."
"It's a very confusing thing, I know. Our bodies are so weird sometimes that some things seem to not make sense. Fear and confusion and the sensation of touch sends crazy signals to the brain. Now imagine all three happening at the same time." I hummed as I leaned back into the chair, her words lifting a weight off of my shoulders. "Have you talked with your fiancée about it?"
"Not really. She heard the story as I was telling it to the detective but not directly. I'm scared to.. start getting intimate with her again." She nodded in understanding. "What if I freeze up or get a flashback midway?"
Her eyes were soft and never indifferent which made it so easy for me to talk. "Some people can get back into it easily, some need years before they can even think about it. It's all about communication, Y/n. Talk to her, tell her your fears and ease into it. Note any triggers and tell her about them. Trust is the biggest factor in any relationship, especially with what's happening with you."
"I trust her. One hundred percent." I said with a nod and she smiled. "And I want to be with her again, in that way. It's been a month and I do want her and I know she feels the same because she's way more.. needy than me, in that way. How do I even start that conversation?"
Sophia chuckled softly. "Exactly how you started it with me." My eyebrows furrowed as she shrugged. "This is your fiancée, you trust her. Start off with telling her you're scared, scared of how you'll react to intimacy again. Then start slow. Try to remember when you're in the moment that this is your fiancée who you trust. Someone who loves and cares about you. Shift your mind from sexual assault to sexual healing, which is also a very productive thing."
I cracked a smirk. "And when I get that feeelin'.." I started to sing and she let out a soft laugh. "Thank you. I was losing my mind over this thinking I was straight or something."
Her head shook. "Nope, it's definitely a very unwanted but sadly normal thing that happens to sexual assault victims. Rape is still rape, okay? None of it was your fault." I smiled and nodded softly before looking up at the clock on her wall. "Is it time already?"
"Yep." I said and raised up. "This hour is starting to fly by."
"It really is." She walked me out of her office which was in the psychiatric wing of the hospital. "I'll see you next week. I look forward to hearing about your progress."
I smirked. "My sex life, you mean?"
Her jaw dropped as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "No Y/n. I mean- you know what I mean."
"I'm kidding. I'll see you next week, Sophia." She waved with her head shaking and I slid around the hall, humming Sexual Healing to myself since the song was now stuck in my head.
"No!" I felt a body suddenly collide with mine which sent me falling to the ground, the person on top of me. "Get away from me!" She shouted and pushed me away.
"What?" I mumbled in confusion and sat up, my eyes wide when I saw a girl with tears streaming down her face and her body shaking with fear. "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Two nurses suddenly rounded the corner and sighed when they saw the girl. "Raven, come on."
Raven turned and shook her head quickly. "I don't want go back in there. I don't wanna.."
I feel like I was caught in the middle of a scene in a movie and the camera had me in shot. You know that feeling? And you're just standing there like.. 'I do not belong in this scene.'
"They're gone, Raven. You can come back now."
The girl sniffed and nodded, letting the nurse hold her hand to pull her forward.
What the hell just happened?
Shaking it off, I continued on my way out of the hospital and back home to have a very lengthy talk with Robyn.
-
My eyebrows furrowed as I raised my hand to pat her back when she suddenly choked on her cup of noodles.
"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "What?"
Maybe I did start off a little differently than Sophia proposed. 'I wanna have sex but I don't wanna feel like I'm being raped' I mean, it wasn't that different, was it?
"I said-"
"I know what you said, babe." She breathed out and sat the cup down. "It just shocked me." Turning to face me, she grabbed my hands and ran her eyes over my face. "Are you rushing for me? Because if you are, stop it. I'll wait as long as you need."
She was so perfect.
"I know and I at least wanna try. And I don't mean today.. or not even tomorrow maybe but I just wanted to tell you." Her eyebrows furrowed and I could feel self doubt wading in. "I probably should've waited until I was ready ready to tell you, now that I think about it." I shook my head and moved off of the chair. "This was stupid, I'm sorry."
"Y/nn," she sighed out when I rounded the counter and left the kitchen.
"Knock knock." I raised my eyebrows when there was a knock at the door, followed by a weird squeaky voice. "Deliverryyy."
What the hell?
I walked to the front door and pulled it open, my confusion turning into an awe at what I saw. "I heard someone needed a visit from a fairy.. that true?" Aniya said with a smile as she wiggled Dahlia in front of her slightly. She was dressed in all pink with a pair of wings on her back and it was the cutest thing.
(I know this is Stormi but the cuteness 😭)
"How'd you know?" I said with a coo before grabbing my daughter and loving her giggles when I pressed kisses along the side of her face. "You look amazing, princess."
"Ah ah," Ni pointed at me as she walked in. "Fairy."
I nodded. "Right, of course." I closed the door behind me and started to walk away, only to hear the doorbell ring. "Oh Jesus." I pulled it open, my eyebrows shooting up when I saw Dante dressed up as well.. Jay next to him. "And what are y'all suppose to be?"
"Uh... look at the damn clock on my neck, sis." Jay said as he pulled a gold grill out of his mouth. "It's Flava Flav baby, get with the program. Yeaaa boyyy."
He walked past me with a limp in his walk and I shook my head before glancing back at Dante. "Sexy doctor." He shrugged and walked in as well as he grabbed my daughter and flew her around the room.
Since when did this become a 'come to my house' day? I didn't invite any of these niggas (excluding Dahlia and Ni, of course.)
Closing my door, I followed them into the living room and squinted when I saw them all talking about what we were going to do tonight. "Yo.." I mumbled and shook my head. "What are y'all doing?"
"Last Halloween you were in a coma. This year shit.. happened." Jay said with a visible distressed look in his eyes but he forced it away with a smile. "So we not letting it be two for two. We're gonna have a mini Halloween turn up for you."
I hummed and chuckled softly. "Y'all are sweet but I don't need a turn up. I'm cool just watching movies and eating candy."
"Okay, then we're gonna watch movies and eat candy together." Dante countered with a shrug before looking at Dahlia. "Right niecey?" She just smiled back. "See? Lia agrees. To the movie room!"
I sighed and watched the boys carry my daughter out, Ni giving me a smile over her shoulder as she followed them. "You can't say no to us." She said with a shrug.
"I know." I mumbled. Them three were the most stubborn asses. When Robyn came out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, I hummed suspiciously. "Did you plan this?"
She shrugged coyly. "Plan what?" I smacked my lips and let my arms slide around her waist. "I hope you don't mind. I know you love being around them so I just thought it'd be nice to, ya know, have a chill night together."
"You're amazing." I whispered before softly pecking her lips. "Totally wife material."
She playfully flipped her hair. "I been knew." I chuckled and started to leave when she suddenly called me back. "Y/n?" I looked back with a nod. "You wanting to talk about your fears isn't stupid. I'm here for you; whenever you're ready." Her lips pressed to my cheek before she walked ahead of me to the movie room.
I smiled to myself and lightly kicked the toe of my shoe into the floor, knowing I definitely lucked up with this one. I truly probably wouldn't have gotten through any of this as well as I have without her. Now that was something to think about.
"So what movie are we watching?" I asked as I walked into the room, taking Dahlia from Dante before dropping onto the chair next to Rob. "What do you wanna watch my pretty fairy?" I asked and handed her the remote. She uncoordinatedly slapped it and guess what popped up? "You really are my daughter."
Rob, along with Dante and Ni, groaned since this wasn't the first time we've had a movie night. "We are not watching Home again."
I looked back with a smirk as Jay looked around in confusion. "What's Home?" He questioned.
Collectively, they shouted. "Jayden!"
Home it is.
-
The Next Day
"Have you ever been a arrested before, Ms. Y/ln?" Mark questioned as he paced in front of me.
"Um.. yes." He nodded and rubbed his jaw.
"What for, if you will? And at what age?"
I cleared my throat and shifted in my spot. "A uh a protest when I was eighteen." He stopped in front of me and crossed his arms with a slow nod, silently telling me to continue. "In Atlanta there was a protest against police brutality and things got.. violent."
His head shook. "Never give more than what's asked. They will try to make you talk more with a look. Don't. Make them ask you the questions, okay?" I nodded and bit my thumb nail nervously as he continued.
"So your first time arrested was because you were protesting the abuse of police officers and the second time you were arrested.." I dropped my hand from my mouth when his head tilted. "Police officers abused you?"
"Yes." I said and he hummed with another nod. Then I fucked up again when he quietly stared at me. "I wasn't protesting just the abuse of police officers, I was protesting their abuse of power."
He didn't stop this time. "And this situation is surly to bring that abuse of power down right?" My eyes widened at his accusations. "You're a public figure with a spotlight shined on you.. what better way to continue your protest than nationwide-"
"Mark I don't like this." Robyn mumbled when she saw the look on my face. "Can you ease back?"
Mark sighed and sat down on his desk. "I don't like it either, nor do I believe it but you have to be ready for whatever they throw at you. The first day of trial is today and I want you prepared. What I did was considered nice, Y/n. Presley Gibbons doesn't care about you. He won't be nice."
I nodded softly and raised my hand to Rob, letting her know I could handle it. "Okay." I mumbled, looking back at Mark. "I'm ready."
He stood up and clasped his hands together. "Good. So tell me, what led you.."
At the court
"..to getting in jail on October first?" I looked up at the defense lawyer with a confident look in my eye.
Without wavering, I answered. "I got into a physical altercation." I said simply and when he continued to stare at me, I crossed my hands on my lap silently until he spoke up again.
"Okay.. can you elaborate on that?"
My eyebrow furrowed. "On what part, sir? I got into a physical altercation.. that's what happened October first."
He looked at me bitterly before sighing and pacing in front of the seat I sat in. "What happened? What led to this fight?"
"Objection your honor, no relevance to he case whatsoever." Mark spoke up confidently yet nonchalantly.
Presley raised his hand with a nod. "I'm just trying to find out what led you to being in the position you were in. I actually have a video, your honor of said fight. Trust me, it's relevant to the case." He said with an eye at my lawyer before pointing at a rolled out TV that showed the fight of Chris and I from that night.
Damn I slammed him on the car? I don't even remember that.. look at me.
Once the video stopped, all attention went back to Presley. "As you can see, Y/n took quite a few blows to the head and even made contact with the ground right.." he played the video before pausing it when I was tackled to the ground, my head clearly bouncing off of the floor. "From here you can see the dazed look on her face."
"Get to the point, Mr. Gibbons. This is a aggravated assault case, not assault and battery." The judge said with a snap in his tone.
Presley nodded again. "Yes, your honor. Y/n, did you hit your head going down?" I nodded. "Words please? For the jury."
"I did."
He crossed his arms and stopped pacing to stand in front of me. "And did you feel any dizziness?" I was on the stand, I couldn't lie. So it was another yes. "Okay, could it be that you suffered a concussion which, as your doctor helpfully pointed out, contains the side affects of dizziness, nausea, amnesia, disorientation.."
I swallowed thickly when I realized what he was gunning for. He was trying to make it seem like, because of the fight, I could be making the story up.. imagining it. Mark wasn't lying.
My eyes drifted from his and I saw the two officers in their respective seats.. both with confidence oozing from them. When they looked at me simultaneously, I felt a shiver run down my spine at the dark eyes that still haunted my ass... no pun intended.
"Y/n?" I snapped my eyes back to the lawyer. "Could it be plausible that you suffered a concussion from hitting your head?" My head shook and he sighed. "Words please."
"No I- I didn't have a concussion." From the corner of my eye I could see Marks eyes close, his shoulders dropping slightly.
Then Presley smirked and walked back to his table to grab stapler papers. "This is Y/n's hospital. October seventh," he started reading. "Patient suffered a grade two concussion with symptoms of headaches and vomiting.." I blinked slowly. I don't even remember being told I had a concussion."So are you lying Y/n? Under oath?"
I shook my head quickly. "N-no I'm not lying. I wasn't told that.." His eyebrows raised. "I mean I don't re.." I froze.
"You don't remember?" He stated and casted a look at the jury. "No further questions your honor."
I let out a shaky breath and felt my knee bouncing out of nervousness. Did I fuck up? Did I just completely ruin everything?
My eyes then moved to the jury and I could see their mixed faces and skeptical eyes. Shit.
"I have no questions at this time, your Honor. Though I do request we take a half day instead of a full?" Mark as he raised up.
The judge looked down at his watch before nodding. "Half day granted. We'll resume tomorrow at noon." He hit the gavel so I raised up and slowly walked to Mark.
"I'm sorry." I said as soon as I reached him but he shook his head. "I didn't remember.. did I really have a concussion, Mark?"
"Yes. We'll talk outside." He said lowly and I frowned, my hope deteriorating as Robyn raised up from her spot next to my mom. "We're going to the lobby."
My mom pulled me into a hug and softly rubbed my back. "Don't let them break you." She said into my ear and I nodded, then turning to Rob when she let me go.
Her hand reached for mine and I leaned against her as we walked out of the court room. "I fucked up." I sighed out but she shook her hand and rubbed my side.
"It's just day one, babe. Don't give up yet." I huffed and nodded before walking out to the lobby where Mark was waiting. His eyebrows were furrowed as his mouth opened but one look for Robyn had him sighing softly then giving me a smile.
"It's not your fault." He said, crossing his arms behind his back. "I wasn't aware that you didn't remember you had a concussion.. that's on me. We should've went over everything so don't beat yourself up."
I nodded and slid my hands into my pocket. "S'okay." I mumbled. "Can we meet at my house to talk?" He nodded, gave me one more small smile, then turned and started out of the courthouse.
"Hey," I nodded at my mom silently. "Have faith in Him, He'll get you through it all. I'm praying for you baby." She said and pecked my cheek. I smiled before grabbing Robyn's hand and walking with her and my mom through to the front.
Lewis pushed off of the wall beside the door and opened it for us. I gave him a nod of thanks before sighing when I saw the all the cameras and news vans outside. Goodness..
We were escorted through the crowd but I took notice of who stood behind the news people and the paparazzi. I stopped for a moment, shock overcoming me.
A bunch people.. angry people with posters. Yelling shit.
"Bradley and Steven are good boys!" One lady yelled at me, her face red. "Stop ruining our children's lives!"
I shook my head softly and looked at some others who were dressed in cop uniforms, all holding posters claiming I was a liar.
"What the fuck?" I mumbled under my breath and felt myself ushered forward to the Escalade. A swarm of emotions ran through me and a month ago I would probably be swimming in tears but I was all cried out. Now I was just angry.
"Y/n.." Robyn said cautiously as I stared ahead, my eyes blazing.
"Who are they to call me a goddamn liar? Sorry mom." I said after I cursed out of anger but she nodded softly from the front seat. "They don't even know. They weren't there, I was there. I was in the cell that night."
I took in a deep breath and felt myself snap. I punched and kicked at the seat in front of me for a good couple of seconds before running a hand through my hair. "Sorry." I said again lowly. "These people are so one sided. They think cops can't do anything wrong but they weren't there.. I was in there. It happened to me. I didn't have no fu- I didn't make it up."
"Babe." Rob rubbed my back as I clasped my hands together and leaned my forehead on them. "You know the truth, we know the truth. Don't let them get to you baby; just kick their butts in court."
"Kick their asses!" My mom said, making the anger deteriorate a bit as I chuckled under my breath. "We got your back, Y/nn."
"One hundred percent." Robyn added and I smiled up at the two woman in my life who were really getting me through it.
"Thank you." I mumbled and nodded softly.
They were right. I just had to kick their asses in court and send em serving ass in prison. Just had to get through it..
___