S E V E N T Y - F O U R :
Vibrations emitted unabatingly from the grey pine bedside table, without some much as a care in the world. Grumbling and fumbling out of her semi-deep sleep, she rolled over like a dog on the grass, grabbed the source of the vibrations and lifted it to eye level, squinting at the light from the screen. The vibrations didn't stop. The time read two twenty-five AM. Who on earth was ringing her at this ungodly hour?
Soon enough, she figured out who had been calling her relentlessly, her heart dropped.
harrison stiles is calling. . .
Nervously, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, she had a barbed wire digging into her with the amount of worry she was feeling. He very rarely called her and when he did, it was at a time where he knew she'd be awake, a fact that made her panic tenfold. Rapidly, her thumb swiped across the screen and promptly placed the device to her ear, her arm holding her up in a leaning position.
"Harrison?" She mumbled, her voice croaky from the sleep she'd just been in. She received no response.
"Are you okay?" She spoke again but still received taciturnity.
The thuds that were exploding from within her chest only tripled when she heard a choked sob from the speaker of her jet black mobile. "Harri?" Oak said more vocally, she put his lack of words down to the fact that he perhaps didn't hear her, again, she got nothing but a silent sob.
"Please tell me you're okay. . ." She trailed off her words in a pleading manner, swivelling her legs around so that she was perched at the side of her bed.
"Please. . .I need you," He finally spoke, his voice was barely understandable from the gravelly tone it had and it was tearing her apart like a piece of paper that was now to be scrapped.
"You've got me, I'm here," She asseverated and in response got another cry and more pleas, what had happened?
"Oak, please. . ." He averred with cracks in the words, even though she couldn't visibly see him the image of his state in her head was enough to make her go into overdrive. He had repeated that same statement twice more before he fell silent again, Oak was trying to muster up what to say because she didn't know his situation.
"I'm here," The reassurance was prominent as she spoke to him, she didn't want to get him anymore worked up than he already sounded. Static noise was ringing in her ears as her worriment kept piling and piling up, she stood from her once seated position and just as quickly as she stood she was slipping on some slippers that were under the black nylon acrylic chair in the corner of her bedroom.
"I need you," His words were wailed from the obvious surge of emotions he was going through. She didn't know what to do and that was killing her slowly but clearly, nowhere near as much as it was killing him. "Please," He pleaded again, she let out a shaky breath unsure of what to do that would help him.
"You've got me, I promise," She repeated, putting her phone on speaker call and laying it on her ruffled sheets before she fleetly dragged her black STRINGS hoodie she got given for free on their tour. "I'm here," She told him so he knew she was still on the other end of the phone.
"I need you, Oak, please. . ." He wept even more knife stabbingly. Whatever had happened wasn't something minimal, this was quite obviously effecting him a lot and she felt helpless.
"You've got me, I'll be with you soon, okay?" The woman soothed the best she could, she was so clueless about what to do other than go there and be with him, maybe it wasn't such a good idea setting off to Bolton at twenty-to three in the morning but someone she cared about deeply was in a serious state of distress.
"Okay," He muttered back, his voice strained from the tears he'd let fall. Oak had found herself outside of her brother's bedroom door and found her index fingers top knuckle tapping against his wooden door, in hopes he was still awake.
When she heard a come in, she slowly opened the door to Tom stretched out on his bed, his focus on his television that was at the foot of his double bed. He glanced had her bewildered and shocked at the fact she was here, in his room, and the fact that she was currently awake, she usually fell asleep fairly early. "What'd you want?" He spoke, eyeing his sister who was stood in the entrance of his doorway sheepishly. There was no way in this universe she was here for a chat, he knew that if she really wanted to speak to him she could wait until the morning, therefore, it was very transparent to him that the reason she was here was something bigger.
"Can I borrow your car?" She asked, not making eye contact with him because she knew how much he prized that thing. Tom let out a series of laughter and he even slapped his knee to add to how ridiculous her request sounded.
When it clicked that she was, in fact, serious, his laughter halted like a broken down fairground ride. "You're serious?" He questioned his eyes wider than Neptune, was she completely deluded?
"T, please I-"
"It's three in the bloody morning, are you insane?" He spoke through disbelieving laughs, she'd said some questionable things in her twenty years of life but by far this was the craziest to him, he found it so hard to believe that she wanted to drive his car, something she didn't even have for herself.
"T, please, there's something wrong with Harrison and I don't know what to do. . ." She explained the best she could, her trepidation powering her words. He furrowed his eyebrows and then let out a deep sigh, he'd hate for anything bad to happen to him because he was a source for his sister's happiness.
With a shake of his head, he reached to the left of his bedside cabinet and grabbed the black key for his car, that was parked correctly outside of their house. "Fine, but be careful," He warned her, his finger pointed and then gently launched the key in her direction, she caught it swiftly and smiled giving him a quick thank you before speedily exiting his room.
"Have you got your license?" He called as quietly as he could, she replied with a rushed yes and then ran down her stairs.
She hated driving. Harrison was more important than her fears though, so that's what she was prioritising, the man who was still on the phone.
It's okay, you can do it, you know how, you passed with flying colours, you can do it.
——— ••• ———
His frail state crumbled to the floor the millisecond he opened the door, his lips trembling as the water rolled down his cheeks. She held him as close to her as she could, his head on her chest as he squeezed her closer to him, he couldn't stop the droplets. Oak had her head resting on top of his dishevelled one as she gently hushed him, keeping him in her warmth.
She still had questions, a lot of them but she was just going to let him get free from whatever was causing this much emotional anarchy until he was ready.
"Please. . ." He wept further, barely making his words audible. His breaths were ragged like the water that was coming from his eyes had flooded everything within him.
"Oak," He choked out again grabbing ahold of her tighter, he didn't want to let her go, he didn't know what to do other than hold on to her and shed the tears that were willingly falling. She said nothing in response, not wanting to rush him, whenever he was ready was okay with her, she was staying put. "I don't know what to do," He let out a painful cry of agony, he was ripped and torn, he was helpless and he hated that.
"It's okay," She tried her best to be of reassurance but she didn't know what to say that could possibly pull him out of this hypnotised state that he was in.
"I can't lose him," His words shuddered "I can't lose him," He repeated again, his face was so shattered from the sensitivity of the salty cascades that wouldn't stop. "I can't lose him, Oak," He repeated one more time before hugging the woman closer to him if that was even possible.
They were on the laminated floor by his dining table, he was laid out clutching her with everything in him and she was on her knees clutching him back, she wasn't letting him go for as long as he needed her. She still didn't know what the issue at hand was, she just knew that it was something that had put him through a shredder.
"If he dies I-I don't know what I'll do, I don't know what we'll do," He continued, not one moment of his tone was like anything he'd ever said to her and that in itself was heart wrenching, he sounded so lost and broken.
"He's got cancer," He noted, his emotion gone the second his mouth lipped the six-letter word like just uttering it was poisonous. "My dad," He added giving Oak more clarity, she could feel her heart shattering for him and the Stiles family, they didn't deserve news like that, they were such a beautiful and lovely family and cancer was the polar opposite.
"I'm sorry. . ." She apologised sympathetically, her voice cracking a little in the process "Is there anything I can do to help you and your family?" She asked him softly, still holding onto him for dear life.
His head moved and looked her deep in her eyes, that he instantly felt Secours in, he swallowed the football in his throat and cleared it so he could speak more transparently. "I just need you to be here," He told her softly, she nodded gently back and smiled a smile of reassurance indicating that she wasn't going anywhere.
"Okay," She nodded using the same quiet tone, Harrison nuzzled his head into her further and she just continued embracing him, placing a small faint kiss on top of his head.
All he wanted was for his dad to be okay and all he wanted was to volley that bastard disease into the deepest emmit of water away from any human and animal and let it fight itself off. He didn't know what he could do, he knew what cancer he had and he knew that it wasn't as fatal as some others but that didn't neutralise his nerves and stop the overbearing questions. He wanted to know why it picked his father, he wanted to know why it thought he deserved it, he wanted to know why the disease was ruthless and remorseless, it didn't give a flying fuck about anyone and their families.
It didn't take long before Oak was coaxing the utterly shattered, emotionally and physically, man to his bedroom so that he could try and get some shuteye. She couldn't even begin to imagine how deplorable it must be for him and his family, the amount of anguish they must be holding onto. Cancer was a pain in the arse, more than that, it was earth smashing for everyone who had to go through it, the knowledge of someone you know having it never sparks goodness in one's thoughts; the most natural instinct is to think of the worst possible scenario even if you don't want to. The 'C' word was potentially the worst word you could ever hear.
James was the father that everyone wished to have, he worked hard to support his family, he could have a bloody good laugh for hours on end, he'd do anything for the ones he loved and he was just an overall amazing person. The thought of everything he does for everyone could be wiped away within time was sickening, they couldn't lose him if they were to lose anything they'd pick the most expensive thing in their family home, hell, they'd even sell their house just to keep him.
When Belle was just two, he was teaching Harrison how to ride his first bike, with tricycles so that he could join in on the bike races the kids on their street would have. He'd spend restless hours ensuring that he got everything right, he'd hold the back of his seat as he peddled, the wind catching in their hair until Harrison was finally ready for him to let go.
One time when Harrison was eight and Isabelle was six their dad had broken his left leg by falling down some stairs at work after not realising his shoelaces were undone, his leg got stuck in the gap as he tumbled. The kids arrived home from school with their mum to see a massive den in their living room that had their TV entrapped, he'd stuck loads of blankets and cushions in it with some popcorn and DVDs ready to have a family night, after watching two films they'd all fallen asleep in the little den and didn't wake up until the morning.
They were both wrapped in Harrison's striped covers, she was slightly sat up, resting against the headboard as he lay snugly on her chest, her hand relaxingly stroking through his hair. "Can you stay the night?" He mumbled, his mouth covered by the close proximity they had, she momentarily stopped her massaging but had to start it again when he made a little groaning sound suggesting he wanted her to continue, she just smiled lightly and resumed her previous actions.
"If you want me to," She answered. Truthfully, she hadn't actually planned on leaving, she wanted to stay with him until he was in a brighter position. Sometimes all people needed was a hug when they were sad, sometimes words were too much, someone's presence could be enough to flip everything, it was the thought of someone being there for them that eased them more than anything, the knowledge that people care.
"I do," He responded quickly almost throwing himself up from the comfort he was in.
"Then I'm not going anywhere," She spoke back softly still running her fingers through his brunette strands of silky hair.
He didn't quite understand how the melancholy bulldozed itself into him in the middle of the inky night as he awoke and couldn't stop the ragged breaths he was taking. When he was first told about it at the family dining table, he nodded and accepted that there was nothing he could do, which was a contrast to Belle's reaction, she detonated in the tears and was uncontrollable. He didn't react the way he did in the night at first because he wanted to be strong for his sister and parents even though the tears did prick his eyes, he never let them fall.
It was almost like it didn't properly sink in until a few hours later, he closed his eyes when he was ready to sleep but all he could picture was his dad in a hospital bed, wired up like some machine and those dreams were what shook him from his sleep. He felt guilty by calling her so early in the morning but he really didn't know what to do, he knew he wouldn't do anything stupid but then again he'd do anything to change his roles with his father, he just needed someone.
Harrison knew one thing about this whole situation was that he was paying for any treatment his father needed even though he wouldn't like it, he didn't have a choice. He had enough money, it wouldn't even affect him financially, he didn't care how much it'd cost because his dad's life was worth far more than every pound he had.
"I'm sorry. . ." Harrison apologised quietly. He hated himself for waking her up, he was just so lost and in a state that he didn't want to be alone.
"Don't apologise," Oak replied back sturdily, she knew what he was apologising for and he really didn't need to because she understood his reasoning.
"But I-"
"Harri, I'd rather be here making sure you're okay than sleeping, okay? Don't say sorry again," She cut him off, she didn't mean to be rude she just didn't need him purging his worries, it was far beyond unnecessary. His wellbeing was the most important thing in this situation, she got enough sleep every night to be fine with it.
He wished she hadn't said that because now those particular three words were wanting to vomit out of him, he knew it was too soon but there was no way he could even begin to oppose the thoughts, she'd done so much for him and others that it was undeniable that he indeed did, most probably, love her.
wrote; thursday 2nd july 2020
(partially) edited; sunday 20th december 2020
published; monday 21st december 2020