From the beginning, this story will include mentions and often graphic detail of use of alcohol and drugs, food, loss of blood, sexual content, (lack of confidence in) body image, terminal illness, mentions of physical abuse and suicide.
This story was so important for me to write. From a very young age I've struggled accepting my body the way it is - I feel out of shape, strange, but also average. I'm 24, and I still feel this way regularly. For me, there is nothing about myself that stands out, and I know there are other girls out there who suffer from the same paranoia. Slowly but surely, I am coming to terms with who I am, physically and emotionally. I've learnt that there is no ideal woman, or man. I am similar in some ways to a lot of other women, and I am also different in other ways. And what constitutes to one person as beautiful will not be the same for everyone. I wanted to write a character who would slowly come to realise that, just as I have, and who found someone who loved her the way she is, not the way other people say she should be.
I've tried my hardest to make this story as real as possible. A lot happens, and very quickly. So many things are going on in the background of our lives every day that we don't even realise. People are abused physically, mentally and sexually. People contract terminal illnesses. People take their own lives. People overdose. People die of old age.
As you grow older, you learn to realise that there are people in your life who won't be there in a year, or 2, or 3. Relationships - romantic and otherwise - come and go. There are people in your lives now that you won't expect to still be there in 10 years time, but they will be.
I've tried to be brutally honest with this story. Nothing is sugar coated, or romanticised - it is what it is. If it seems that way, that absolutely is not my intention. The issues in this story are the ones happening in every day life, and unfortunately Adele is about to experience them all at once. I knew as soon as I started planning this story that it isn't going to be everybody's cup of tea, and I've accepted that.
If just one person begins this story, and happens to stick with me until the end, I'll be happy.
Katie