The stadium lights are blinding.
"Now up to bat, Sage Rhodes." A
voice echoes through the stadium. My feet move me towards the batter's box. People are cheering. The wood bat in my hands feels like air as I hold it up and get into position.
"Hope you're ready, kid." The umpire says through his mask and I grin.
Hell yeah, I'm ready. This is it. This is everything I've ever wanted. The lights are so bright, I can't see the pitcher but it doesn't matter. Spreading my legs a little, I shake my bat. "Bring it."
The ball zooms in at an ungodly speed, buzzing as it connects with the catcher's mitt. What the fuck? Getting ready, I try to focus on the next pitch but I can't see it until it's flying by.
My hands grow sweaty. The crowd starts to quiet down. One more ball is thrown and I manage to time it perfectly. With all of my force, I swing the bat. Instead of making contact, I end up on my ass.
The stadium erupts into laughter.
"Strike three. You're out!" The ump looks down at me. "Go put on some clothes."
"What?" I go to tug on my jersey and touch skin. Scanning my body, I jump to my feet. "What the fuck?"
I'm naked. Totally and completely naked. Trying to run to the dugout, I'm cut off by two players.
"This is golden." Gentry Rawlings laughs, dressed in a Florida State jersey.
"He's too good for school with us. More like we're too good for him." Aspen Jones adds, wearing the same jersey as Gentry.
"That's okay." I turn to find James walking towards us in his Alabama jersey. "At least he considered going to your school."
"At least we're going to school." Aspen spits on the ground. "Pretty boy Rhodes isn't going anywhere."
Oh, God. They continue to laugh. No matter where I turn to run to, there's no escaping them. Finally I collapse on the ground, allowing their faces to drown out the lights.
A quacking duck replaces the laughter as they begin to shove me.
"Dude, wake up!" My blanket is ripped off of me as I begin to come to. "Ahh, holy shit, why are you naked?"
"My eyes burn!"
"What the hell?" I demand, pulling the blankets back over me. Silver and Sterling try to run from the room and body slam into the wall. "Why are you in here?"
"Why are you naked?" Sterling demands. "A little heads up would be nice."
Lifting the covers up, I double check that I am still naked. "I'm still dreaming." I have to be. I have no idea why but this is definitely a nightmare gone wrong.
"Newsflash, what we just saw was really real." Silver hisses. "Lock your door."
"I didn't know I was naked." I went to sleep in boxers. They had pigeons on them and everything.
"Wake up. We leave for school in 20 minutes." Sterling orders.
"We need to go back to therapy." Silver mutters.
The thought of therapy has my heart speeding up. "Um, how was that?"
They went the other day and didn't say anything about it.
"It was better than this shit show of a morning."
With that they slam my door shut. Sitting up, I try to find my boxers and come up empty handed. What a great start to my day.
*****
The drive to school is awkward. Both of the twins refused to sit upfront, so Saffron gets the spot. Before I can even park my car in the parking lot, the twins bolt from the car.
"What was that about?" Saffron asks.
Thinking back to this morning, I cringe. "Teenagers are weird."
"Absolutely." She nods.
Listening to music, I notice my coffee cup leave it's rightful spot in my cup holder. "Watch it, Squirt." I tug on her hair. "The last thing you need is caffeine."
"I'm tired." She forces a yawn. "I might go to sleep in class and it would be your fault."
Fighting a smile, I let her have some. "You drive a hard bargain."
"So I've been told." She says, handing my now dangerously light cup back.
"All right, off to class." I turn the car off and get out.
"Wait." She follows after me, almost tripping over her own two feet. "I want a picture."
"Why?"
"Because we match." She points to our pink hoodies and black jeans.
Leave it to me to oversleep and end up twinning with a 9 year old. Grabbing my phone, I set it on the hood of my car. "One picture."
"Cheese." She smiles, wrapping her arms around me.
"There, now get to class." I grab my phone.
"You better post it!" She shouts, running off.
Shaking my head, I take my usual path through the hall and stop at my usual locker. "Morning, Beautiful."
"Morning." She smiles as I peck her cheek. Someone's in a good mood.
"I bring a glazed doughnut and all my affection." I smirk, offering the bag.
"Thank you." She puts the food in her backpack and I raise a brow.
"Hold up, you aren't going to eat your favorite doughnut?" That's insane. I've seen her talk down a half a dozen of these things.
"Mel fed me before school."
"Mel as in my Aunt Mel?" I clarify and she nods. "What were you doing there?"
She messes around with her locker, avoiding eye contact. "I, um, I slept there."
"Why?" I almost drop my coffee.
"Zoe was in a mood and people were over. Some nights it's better to stay someplace else and I figured they could use a night of help." She explains. "I've stayed with her from time to time for a year or so."
"Oh. I didn't know that." I admit. How many times would I have met Chloe if I just paid attention? "You know you're always welcome to stay at my place."
"I know." She grabs my hand. "But you went to sleep early. I didn't want to bother you."
"It's not a bother." I rush out. "I always want you there."
"I know, but it's not your fault Zoe sucks." She squeezes my hand. "How did you sleep?"
"Like shit." I snort, not really wanting to get into my dream. It rubbed me the wrong way. "I'm jealous you got to see my kiddos."
"Well, Pumpkin says she misses you." She offers, taking a sip of my coffee. "I think she's wants to replace me."
That's enough to earn a smile out of me. I love my little devil.
*****
Today, nothing is sticking in my mind. I log into social media and I see posts from college baseball teams. My snapchat stories are nothing but friends I've made from playing throughout the years. Twitter is nothing but coaches and players posting stats and updates.
I really need to follow new people.
The final bell rings and I head outside. Leaning against my car, I panic as Saffron runs across the parking lot. Teenagers don't believe in stopping for pedestrians. However, I relax as she latches onto Chloe's hand and drags her to the car.
"I read that book you told me about and I loved it." Saffron says to her.
"Really?" She raises a brow.
"Scarlett bought me the rest of the series. In hardback. They're amazing." My little sister rambles. "We could read together sometime. If you'd like."
My jaw drops. This is Saffron basically confirming that she loves Chloe. An invitation to read with her is like gold.
"I'd like that." Chloe smiles, having no clue how special that is.
"Good." Saffron nods, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "We can have snacks."
"I want snacks." Silver interrupts as the twins join us.
"When don't you?" Sterling sighs. "All you do is eat."
"I'm a growing boy." He shrugs. "Sage eats just as much."
"Oh, I eat plenty." I grin and Chloe hits me.
"Gross." The twins shudder.
Saffron goes to ask a question no one wants to answer and Sterling coughs. "Snacks sound like a great idea."
"Let's get food." I agree. "I know just the place."
*****
Thirty minutes later, we're knocking on the front door of our favorite place to be, ice cream in hand.
"Hi, Uncle John." I grin, licking my cone. "Fancy a visit."
"You brought my children sugar?" He demands, an eyebrow twitching.
"Yup." Saffron lets herself in, downing the rest of her milkshake. "Now give me Sofia."
"Mel, the monsters are here!" He shouts, opening the door. "Plus Chloe!"
"We take offense." Sterling mocks, shoving their ice cream into his hands. "Do you guys have candy?"
"My other babies!" Melissa runs to hug us. "I've missed you so much."
"Aunt Mel, it's been like a week." I laugh.
"John's back at work. It's hard being around toddlers all day." She lets go. "I miss having intellectual conversations."
Chloe snorts.
Footsteps patter on the hardwood floors before little Mathew runs for us. "Tot!"
Scooping him up, I glare at my uncle. "You have my godson calling me Tot? This is a disgrace."
"Kid does what he wants, Tater Tot." He grins, handing his son one of the sweet treats I brought.
"Katherine, come here!" Melissa calls upstairs.
Dramatic footsteps sound on the steps before my favorite blonde girl appears.
"Pumpkin, look what I brought you." I squat down, offering her a chocolate milkshake.
Taking it, she hugs me. "Yummy."
I want to laugh. Damn straight, it's yummy.
"What do you say, Katherine?" Melissa asks, playing with her hair.
"Stop calling me that!" She snaps, pulling out of my hold. "No!"
The house is silent as she storms back upstairs. Melissa and John share a tired look and I clear my throat. "I could–"
"I got it." Melissa sighs. "Our therapist has a routine for this sort of thing."
John watches her go and the twins take Mathew outside.
"Chloe, can we read to baby Sofia?" Saffron asks and she nods.
Left alone with my uncle, he goes to the sofa and I follow.
"Does she do that often?" I ask, genuinely curious. I know her transition hasn't been smooth. That's expected.
"Screaming. Shouting. Crying. Isolating herself." He wipes her face. "At least she's stopped throwing things."
"Ouch!" Melissa's muffled shout comes from upstairs.
"She is biting now."
"If she's reacting badly, maybe you should just keep her name." I suggest.
"I will not do that." He snaps, slapping the coffee table.
"It's her name." I defend her. "I understand you want to honor my parents but..."
"It's not about them." He says. "It's about my children. It's about their worth and how they should be cared for."
"What does that have to do with names?"
"Do you know what Molly is?" He questions.
A lump forms in the back of my throat. "Ecstasy."
"Do you know what Mary Jane is?"
"Marijuana."
"Do you know my daughter's full legal name?" He pushes and I shake my head, not liking where this is going. "Molly MaryJane is the name on my daughter's birth certificate."
"Oh" is all I can say.
"Do you know my son's full name?" He continues and part of me doesn't want to know. "Jacob Heroin." My eyes visibly widen and he scoffs. "Yeah, they didn't even try to be subtle with him. Child services should've taken them away then and there."
"I-I didn't know."
"Their parents were meth heads who barely fed their children, let alone called them by name. Mathew didn't respond to his name at all. Katherine knew it, but they had other names for her. Their caseworker told us so many heartbreaking things. I went through hell and I'll be honest. My little girl went through worse in her first four years of life."
"When we decided to take those children in as ours, we made an agreement. We provide the best for them. The best gift I can give my children right now is taking away those godforsaken excuses of names. My children are not drugs or things people can disrespect. My children deserve love and they deserve names that prove they are loved."
"They never had steak. They never had warm clothing. They never slept in a proper bed. I want them to have the best things in life."
"I understand." I assure him. "They're the luckiest kids alive. I would know."
Uncle John has walked a rough path in life. He paid his dues and he'll spend the rest of his life compensating for his wrong doings. He would do anything for the people he cares about.
"No." He shakes his head. "I'm the lucky one."
We sit there, enjoying the now partly melted ice cream I bought. My phone rings and I check the number before letting out an annoyed breath.
"Hello?"
"Have you made a decision about college?"
"Hi, Gentry." I sigh, preparing for this conversation. "I dreamed of you last night."
"Was it kinky?"
"I was naked." I roll my eyes. "How are you?"
"I'm fine. Jo broke up with her horrible boyfriend. Baseball season is almost here. Manny's wedding is coming up." He chats.
"Those are all wonderful things." I agree. "Why are you calling me? I know I'm irresistible, but this is a bit much."
"Listen, asshole." He scoffs. "It'd be an even better day if I knew I was going to school with my childhood best friend."
The ice cream suddenly feels like a bad idea as it churns in my stomach. "I'm talking to schools. That's none of your business. Fuck off, Gentry."
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt." He says.
"My fist will hurt and I'll drive the three hours just to hit you." I threaten.
"Ha, my face is too pretty to hurt." I can hear the smug smirk on his face. "How's your pretty little girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend." I correct him.
"Then what is she?"
"Shit, I don't know at this point." I admit. Chloe used the word one time and that was to spite Ella. "Commitment scares her, you should know a thing or two about that."
"Can't be scared of something you've never experienced." He snarks. "You, however, are an idiot."
"It's none of your business." I sing down the line. "Just like it's none of your business where I'm going to school."
"Bye." He says. "See you."
Grunting, I throw my phone down. "Nosy ass fucker."
'I don't know what part of that conversation to address first." John says. "Let's start with baseball."
"Let's not." I try to stand up and he shoves me back down on the sofa.
"What's your reason for not looking at schools?"
Playing with my chains, my leg begins to shake. My mind flashes back to my dream. "I'm scared of being a failure. Vandy is the best of the best and they didn't want me. I left, but they had no interest. If I wasn't good enough for them, who am I good enough for?"
He sighs, shifting in his seat. "You go to the right team. Even if only one wants you."
"Plenty want me." I assure him. It's overwhelming.
"Then what's the hold up?"
"Me. All I have to do is return a phone call and I'd be going on any visit I wanted." I say. "I haven't made the call." There's no point in falling in love with another school that decides I'm not good enough.
"I know you're scared. Your dad was too, but I'll tell you the same thing your mom told him. Don't let stupid shit get in the way of your dreams." That's absolutely something my mother said. "Make a list. Reach out to the schools you're interested in and see what happens. Let Scarlett help you. She knows the right questions to ask. She's been researching since you were 16." I didn't know that. "The only thing worse than rejection is not trying at all."
Pursing my lips, I nod in agreement. "You're right and I think I know exactly where to start." I just need to make the call.
"Good." He claps my shoulder. "As for the other thing."
"For the love of God, don't give me relationship advice." I beg.
"I'm not." He holds his hands up. "We have one bad conversation and no one wants to chat."
"You walked in on me and then wanted to have a full family discussion." I remind him.
"That's how your Abela did things so don't blame me." He says. "I just don't want to see either of you get hurt."
"We won't."
"We can't always control those things. Especially when fear is involved." He taps my leg.
I let those words digest. He's right, but I'd never do anything on purpose. I don't love Chloe, but she's important to me. I could never do that.
"I think we should get dinner." He stands and I shake my head.
"There's something I need to do first." I explain, going upstairs.
Without hesitation, I open the farthest bedroom door. "Hey, Pumpkin."
She's sitting on the floor, a ripped up coloring book around her. Treading lightly, I take a seat next to her.
"Do you want to talk about your name?"
"My name is Molly. That's what my band said." She crosses her arms.
"What band?" I question.
Reaching into her pocket, she hands me a plastic hospital banded dated for November. "Molly."
It does read her name. No argument there.
"Do you love your name?" I ask.
A crease forms in her brows. "No."
"Do you like your name?"
"No."
"Do you want mommy and daddy to call you that name?"
"No?" She second guesses herself.
"Then why do you want it?"
"Because my bracelet says it. Pretty angels called me it." She explains. "They helped me."
My heart cracks a little at her response. Opening my arms up, I motion for a hug and she goes for it. "What if I told you, your new name is one of an angel?"
"Really?"
"Really." I promise. "My mommy was named Katherine. She was my hero. She was blonde and blue eyed, just like you." I tug on her hair and she squeals. "She was kind and loving. She was an artist. Coloring was her favorite."
"I like coloring." She says.
"You're very good at it." I boop her nose. "She would've loved coloring with you. And eating all of the chocolate. And pranking your daddy. She excelled at annoying him. She made the best brownies."
"I love brownies." She sits up. "Sometimes they make me sick though."
"We can make them someday and they won't make you sick." I assure her. "Kat is what everyone called her. She smelled like roses and laughed like a hyena."
The words pour out of me. I share every story I can remember with her. Highlighting every reason why Katherine Rhodes was the best person to ever live. She was beyond words. She was everything.
Tears sting my eyes simply remembering her. "I love my mom. I miss her everyday. She... she was my best friend. She would've loved you simply because you remind me of her: wild and full of life."
I shift her weight in my arms. "Your name is yours to choose from. However, if you wanted to go by Katherine. That would be pretty special."
"But that's her name." She blinks.
"It was, but it can be yours too." I dry my eyes. Names are sharable. "You can even have your own nickname."
"Really?"
"How do you like the name Kit?" I raise a brow, already loving it. "You could be my Kit."
A genuine smile spreads across her face as she latches around my neck. "I love you, Tot."
"I love you too, Pumpkin." I kiss her head.
"Oh come one!" A muffled protest comes through the door. "He's the first person she says I love you to."
"I don't know why you're complaining." Mel's voice follows my uncle's. "I'm the one she bites."
Laughing, I snuggle with my little Kit. Life can wait for a different day. This is all I need for now.
*****
This chapter was like pulling teeth. Oh my God. LiH's plot is the one I need to still figure out. I know bits and pieces and it connects everyday. The process of getting there is just rough. But I ended up laughing and crying in this chap so it's all good.
Important news: We are coming to the wedding chapters soon. BE EXCITED. however, that does mean making sure the timelines are on track. Specifically LiL and LiH. I don't want to spoil LiL in LiH (trust me, you guys don't want that either) so my updating schedule might be changing. Don't ask to me what because I don't know yet 😂😂 Just wanted to give a heads up.
Manny's wedding was already written in LiL and ITE way before I started posting chapters, however, both stories are on totally different paths (ITE more than LIL) plus I added LiH to the mix so it's a lot of replotting and restructuring. Also saying goodbye to one of my favorite ITE chapters because it no longer fits the plot line at all.
All in all, please be patient if updating is a little wonky.
Love you all - Mo