AN I'm moving this story to a real full story instead of a multi part one-shot so go check it out on my page if you like it. I started writing this in class after something pretty awful happened in my life and I have found this story in particular is very therapeutic to write so I'm going to make it much longer.
Addiction is a bitch, especially when you're in school and the most hated person in the aforementioned school. Draco Malfoy was that person, hated and addicted. He wouldn't admit to this but addicts never do, do they?
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
Draco was hunched over his small desk next to his bed. Rolled up parchment sliver in his hand, 2 shimmery silvery lines laid out neatly. Pixie dust, That's what Draco had heard it called. He needed to hurry; he told his teacher he would be going to the bathroom not all the way back to the Slytherin dorms. Finishing up he wiped his nose, shoved his stuff back in the drawer and ran. He was calm again sitting in class; his cravings had gotten the better of him. He felt like his heart was beating too fast and his skin was tingling. He was shaking and felt ill.
He felt fine now though and he most likely would be fine until dinner. He now sat in class calmly taking notes trying to ignore Theo and Blaise's concerned looks.
Theo inquired multiple times on Draco's whereabouts. "I told you I went to the bathroom."
"You keep saying that but you were gone for a while."
'Why are you monitoring how long I'm in the bathroom? Theo, that's a lil creepy."
Theo shook his head and turned back to his notes.
These unfortunate conversations were becoming more and more common among Draco's group. Blaise had been threatening to tell someone about his addiction for a while now. Blaise thought he had Draco figured out, he thought he knew what he would be telling on him for. Draco's second addiction was hiding his first and doing a good job of it. His addiction to the blades was a wonderful coverup.
He skipped dinner again; he didn't feel the need to eat, his stomach never felt empty anymore. Deciding his dorm was too risky now that classes were out, he took a small pouch of 'supplies' to the bathroom closest to the astronomy tower.
Specifically this one because it was rarely used and had a large marble slab in the corner. He set up 3 lines and rolled his paper up, 1 line down, he took a deep breath, 2 lines down. The door banged open, Draco stood to his full height and wiped his nose off trying to hide any evidence of anything he was doing. None other than Harry Potter came around the corner. He was leaning hard against the stone wall as if he would fall to the ground if he didn't. "The fuck are you doing here Malfoy?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing."
They stood there and stared at each other for a long moment before Harry tramped off to a stall. Draco turned around as soon as he knew he was out of sight and tried to be fast. "I knew it." Draco whirled around, Harry had somehow managed to sneak up on him. Bastard. "I knew that was what was going on, I remember what George looked like when he was on pixie and you look just like him." He stood there with his hads tucked behind his back, a sad look on his face.
"Potter..."
"I won't snitch if you don't."
"What do you mean?"
Harry revealed what was behind his back, a bottle of amber liquor. Draco was then hit with the realization, Harry came in here to drink without his friends finding him. Draco nodded sealing their agreement of silence. They then both left staggering their exits by a few minutes so as to not draw attention. Not that anyone would pay attention to them. They were a good hike away from all the rest of the school.
That was the first time Draco and Harry met in the astronomy tower bathroom to fuel their individual addictions. After that it became routine, Draco would skip dinner and do a line while he waited for Harry to find an escape from dinner. Harry would take up his spot on the marble counter a few feet from Draco and finish off his bottle while Draco finished his lines. They would sit and talk till whatever symptoms of cravings eased they would then go about the rest of their evening. Soon their conversations grew deeper and longer.
"So what brought you to this point?" Harry asked, setting the half empty bottle down.
"My dad, the war, Voldemort, everything I guess." Draco replied, fidgeting with his paper.
"Your dad?"
Draco laughed, "Yeah," finishing off his line he completed his answer. "He was a shitbag, he made me become a death eater, abused me all sorts of shit." Harry nodded, "So what set you off?" Draco asked after a moment.
"The Dursleys, Dumbledore, the war, the pressure, the press. Everything piled up I guess. Also your nose is bleeding again."
"Shit," Draco grabbed a paper towel and held it up to his nose waiting for the blood to stop dripping. This had started happening more and more often even when he wasn't actively doing anything. "The Dursleys?"
"The people who raised me. They locked me in a cupboard and withheld food among other things." The raven haired man slurred the alcohol hitting him hard after not eating any sort of dinner.
This news shocked Draco. The golden boy didn't have a golden childhood?
"Damn, we're both fucked up aren't we."
"Yessir."
They laughed, fist bumped, finished up and left. They continued meeting up like this until christmas break which was approaching fast.
"Draco?'
"Yeah?"
"What are we gonna do for Christmas break?"
"Well, I'm not leaving so I'm probably just going to lay around and get high. What about you?"
"I feel kinda obligated to go to the Weasley's but after me and Ginny broke up and me and Ron had our fight it feels kind of awkward."
"Stay at Hogwarts with me and drink the break away, boom, problem solved."
Harry was quiet for a few moments clearly deep in thought. "Fuck man, were killing ourselves aren't we?"
"Yup." Draco replied sadly.
They stayed silent for a good while before Harry spoke up, "I think I'll stay but I can't stay in Gryffindor, they'll find me out and report it."
Draco took a deep breath, he wanted to ask but he was scared to do so, "Do you want to stay in Slytherin with me? All my dorm mates will be out so no one will bother us."
"They're letting you stay here?"
"They don't know I'm staying."
"Damn I'll stay with you though I wouldn't mind some companionship."
Draco smiled, both reasons for him being scared were perfectly valid. One being their sexualites the other being Draco's other problem. Not the blades themselves being the problem, but rather the pain he could inflict on himself with the blades.
Draco's jaw had dropped when he found out about Harry's bisexuality, Harry's jaw had also dropped when Draco confessed about him being gay. That had been one of their more deep and awkward conversations, it had lasted over an hour and went something like this...
"Who all knows your gay?"
"Pansy, Blaise, Theo, Daphne and a bunch of death eaters that found out accidentally."
"Accidentally?"
"Voldemort used Veritaserum on me and asked some pretty damning questions."
"I'm really sorry, Draco, that really sucks." Draco nodded somberly. "What day do you want me to move into Slytherin?"
"How about as soon as all our friends leave?"
"Meet in here after they all leave?"
Draco nodded in confirmation.
The small amount of time leading up to Christmas break flew by and soon enough Draco was sitting in the bathroom waiting for Harry.
Harry walked in and they immediately headed for Slytherin together. They walked quickly to the safety of Draco and his other 8th year companions' dorm. "It's cold here." Harry said almost as soon as they walked in.
"Well we are in the dungeons so I guess it makes sense."
"It also smells amazing. Guess the stereotypes are true."
"What stereotypes are you talking about?"
"Slytherins smell good, Hufflepuffs have the best food, Ravenclaws have the coolest common room and Gryffindor's throw the best parties."
"Huh, news to me."
"It would be you were never involved in the school much."
Harry sat down on Blaise's bed and flopped around to face down, he smashed his face into the covers and inhaled. "What are you doing?" Draco asked.
"Trying to see which bed smells the best so I can sleep in that one. This is Blaise's?"
"Yes it is now how the fuck did you guess."
"This bed smells like Erus Flame by Versace and I recognize it because Fred wore it. I don't see Theo or Pansy wearing Versace for some reason." Draco looked at Harry like Harry was a crackhead asking for directions to the end of the world. Harry walked over to Pansy's bed, yes the Slytherin 8th year dorms were co-ed. "That is most definitely Pansy, very feminine." Harry said, shaking his head. After smelling Theo's bed Harry sat back down on Blaises bed, "This one smells the best." He declared to the still concerned looking Draco.
"Anyways," Draco said, drawing out the "s". "What's the plan for the rest of today and Christmas break?"
"For the rest of today I think we should stay here."
"Good Idea." Draco answered, standing to dig through his nightstand drawer. Harry pulled out a bottle of liquor and downed a good portion of it. Draco went ahead and did 4 lines. They both chatted just like they did when they were in the bathroom. Both boys fell asleep around midnight.
Draco woke up to someone breathing next to him. He turned over to see Harry sleeping on the opposite edge of the bed. "Harry." Draco whispered, "Harry."
"Hmmm." Harry groaned slowly, opening his eyes. "Shit."
Draco paused, Harry's morning voice was intoxicating to Draco. "Draco, I'm sorry I guess the alcohol hit pretty hard."
Draco took a deep breath, "Harry if I'm being honest I really don't mind you sleeping in my bed. I enjoy the company."
"Well if you don't mind I think I'm going to go back to sleep, I'm very hungover."
"You do that I am going to go shower."
Harry replied with a soft snore. Draco closed himself in the bathroom, he had no intention of showering. He sat down and opened 7 new lines on the skin of his hip. He taped on a piece of gauze and pulled his shirt down. He walked back out to a still sleeping Harry. Draco sat down on Blaise's bed and began reading. He thought about it a moment before leaning down and smelling the bed. Harry was right, it smelled amazing. Draco had never really paid attention before. Harry officially woke up an hour or so later and immediately reached for a bottle. "I fuckin hate hangovers."
Draco chuckled, "Try withdrawals. They're no fun either."
"I don't imagine they are, anywho where we are gonna go today. I don't wanna stay in all day."
"Hogsmeade is open to students today. Could go ice skating on the black lake, could mess around in the ROR. It's up to you."
"Let's go to Hogsmeade. I haven't been there all year."
Draco agreed and they got dressed and cleaned up. As they entered the hustle and bustle Draco led Harry straight to the sweets shop. They wandered the rows of candy tubs grabbing any candies that looked good and placing them in the baggies. By the end of their time in the sweets shop they were laughing and giggling and having a ton of fun. They stumbled out laughing, "You and I saw the licorice whips and thought the exact same thing."
"Yeah, oooo kinky."
Harry threw his head back and laughed. Draco paused to admire Harry, his carefree laughter, his beautiful green eyes, brown hair and sharp jawline. Harry was stunning. Draco didn't look away when Harry looked into his eyes in return. "What are you thinking about Draco?"
Draco didn't even lie, "You."
Harry smiled, "Oh really?"
"Yes, you are always on my mind."
Holy shit, where is this coming from Draco. God you've gotten bold.
"Good thing it's not one sided aye?" Harry said, leaning in and pressing his lips to Draco's. Draco was glad Harry had made the real first move.
His lips were sweet from the candy and chilled from the winter air. Draco kissed back relief flooding his body. When the boys pulled away they looked into each other's eyes and smiled. They ended their hogsmeade trip early in favor of heading back to Hogwarts to eat sweets and play board games.
They laid down at around 9 pm to get ready for sleep. Both had fulfilled their cravings and were ready to sleep. "Goodnight Draco."
"Goodnight Harry."
Harry slept in his own bed that night. The next night they were sitting facing each other on the opposing beds when Draco stood and pulled out a new bag. 3 lines down and he still felt normal. He sat back down next to Harry and continued playing wizards chess. About 10 minutes later Draco began to feel nauseous; he didn't think anything of it until he looked up to look in Harry's eyes and he recoiled. "Draco, your pupils are huge."
Draco sat back and thought for a moment, he knew that blown pupils weren't an effect of pixie. His mind flipped through all the things he could have gotten laced in his pixie. Then it hit him.
"Harry you need to take me to the hospital wing and tell madam Pomfrey to give me an intranasal shot of hippogriff hoof, don't listen to anything I say nor acknowledge anything I do until then."
"Draco what's going on?" Harry said, already standing.
"My pixie got laced your gonna have to drag me, I can't stand up."
Harry helped Draco up and walked as fast as he could about a third of the way there Draco fully collapsed. Harry could barely see him breathing, the panic was setting in. Harry, running on pure adrenaline picked Draco up and ran to the Hospital wing all the while whispering "I love you you can't leave we never even got to try this, I love you Draco you can't leave me."
Neither of the boys remembered when they had decided it was them vs everyone else but now it was. It was Harry and Draco vs the world and all it's demons.
He burst into the bleached room and sat Draco down on the closest bed and bolted to Madam Pomfrey's office/ bedroom. "Madame Pomfrey, we need help, hurry!" he yelled, banging frantically on the door.
The matron came out in her nightgown to see the unconscious Draco and the panicking Harry. "What is happening?"
"His stuff got laced, he said he needed a intranasal dose of hippogriff hoof."
Madame Pomfrey rushed around the room gathering the dose and some other stuff. The dose was administered and Draco's breathing almost immediately returned to normal. Harry was still shaking and barely able to breathe. "Mr. Potter, he will wake up in a moment, you need to calm down."
Harry nodded and tried to control his breathing. Draco woke a few minutes later scrambling and searching the room. When he caught sight of Harry he launched himself at Harry clinging to him for dear life. "I'm sorry Harry, I'm sorry."
Draco still wasn't all there, not really. He held onto Harry shaking like he was going to fall apart.
"It's not your fault,'' Harry said, relieved. Draco was back.
"It is through Harry, it's all my fault."
"How so Draco?"
"I'm the one who got addicted to pixie Harry, I'm the one who is slowly killing myself."
"Is it my fault I became an alcoholic? Yes, is it my fault that the world put me through so much pain? No. Same for you, you were just looking for something to numb the pain the world inflicted upon you."
"I want to stop." Draco muttered, still holding onto Harry like his life depended on it.
"Stop doing Pixie?" Draco nodded. "How about we stop together?"
Draco agreed, "I'm going cold turkey though. How you choose to get sober is up to you."
"I think I'm going to go cold turkey too."
They knew the next few weeks were going to be hell on earth but it needed to happen.
They agreed then and there to stop the things that were slowly killing them, well Draco agreed to stop one the other will have to wait.
AN* this was really therapeutic to write for me so I'm sorry if it seems a little rushed.