Song: Figures
by Jessie Reyez
(unrelated to chapter)
_____________________________
Kyle's POV
"The war ended nearly three years ago. Why do we still have to fight?"
I say, anger lacing my tone. Ro shrugs and sits down on our sad excuse for a couch.
"I don't see why we have to help, either."
I sit down next to my boyfriend and hold my face in my hands, my elbows digging into my knees as I let out shaky breaths.
I've gone two months without a flashback. No memories of the Horde, of being bullied, of fighting innocent people... But now it's all flooding back, like the word 'fight' is a key that unlocks my anxiety. I feel a sturdy hand on my back and I try to relax, but it's useless.
A knock on our door sounds and Ro gets up to answer it, but I stay in my current position.
"Good, you're back. I'm guessing they told you about the crystal?"
Lonnie says, stumbling in the door with a familiar blue creature in her hands. Her voice rings in my head.
'the Crystal'
I sit up and turn to her, my eyebrows creased into a frown.
"Why didn't you tell us about it? Maybe I could've had a panic attack a bit earlier."
I ask. I notice that my tone is harsh, a little mean, even, but once I start to panic manners don't matter to me. Lonnie sighs and shoves Imp into Rogelio's arms before folding her own.
"I was busy. And besides, it's not like anything's actually going to happen around here."
She says. Rogelio shoots me a concerned look, but I shrug him off. I turn back and face away from them again. Of course she wouldn't tell us. After all these years she still leaves me out of everything.
I hear Rogelio's familiar growling and Lonnie scoffs. The only word I caught him say was 'alone'. Maybe he's telling her off.
"You guys gotta keep your hands off each other. You're getting all soft!"
Lonnie exclaims. Imp repeats her words and I squeeze my eyes shut.
'Soft'.
Why is that an insult? Why do I feel so offended when people tell me I'm soft? So what if I am?
"And?"
I ask. Rogelio sits next to me and shakes his head, Imp imitating him while perched on his knee.
He grumbles something and I completely understand him. I must be getting better 'She didn't say we were weak.'
I nod. He's right, as usual. She never called me weak, I just interpreted it that way.
"Whatever, Lonnie."
I grumble. She sits next to me and rests her legs up on our wobbly table.
"What have you two been up to, anyways? You barely come visit."
Rogelio and I share a guilty look and my cheeks burn up a little.
"We've been busy, I guess."
Lonnie frowns.
"I'd appreciate the stop by every now and then. Imp isn't exactly good company."
We nod. For a moment the silence hangs in the air, heavy and full of force. My mind wanders to the past before I can stop it. The past, when all three of us were so close that we were rarely seen apart. When Adora and Catra were still cadets, and they would play pranks on me. It was hard some days, but if I was going to be a distraction from their troubles I was willing.
Lonnie gets up and scoops her tiny blue friend up from Rogelio's arms.
"I get that you guys want to forget the past, and all the bad things we did. But that was our childhood."
And without missing a beat, she leaves. Paint crumbles to the floor when she shuts the door and I feel slightly nauseous, maybe from guilt. I think she's a bit mad.
"We're not bad for wanting to forget the past, are we?"
I ask. Ro shrugs and puts a pot of water over the stove. I've spent the last three years feeling guilty, and now I'm about to feel even worse about it? It's as though every time I try to relax a million voices start taking in my head, telling me how wrong I am, how I'm a bad person.
I turn and look at Rogelio. Maybe he's just heating up water, but there's something off about how he's acting. Not trying to cheer me up, (not that he's obligated to, but it's usually what he does), agreeing with everything I say?
"Uh, Ro? Is something wrong?"
Maybe I don't want to know. Even if I knew what the problem was I'm too awkward to help. He pours some of the hot water into two ceramic cups and drops a spoonful of cocoa powder into each before sitting next to me. Whenever we have hot chocolate it's never as nice as the ones from Bright Moon, made with creamy milk, but there's something familiar and homely about them.
I take the cup from his hands and sigh.
"You can talk to me, you know. I can only learn how to understand you better if you open up."
Rogelio looks at me for a minute, his eyes observing and skimming over every inch of my face, but doesn't linger as much as I wish he would.
"I'm getting better, Ro. I know what you're saying way more now than I could have before."
I say. My voice cracks a little and a bubble of worry rises up my throat. Why won't he talk-
My thoughts are interrupted when he finally speaks to me. His eyes are trained on the ground, but mine are focused on him and him only. I catch a few words.
'Accept','forget','who we are'.
"You want to accept... who we are?"
I ask. He smiles a little and shakes his head, my mistakes and lack of understanding has always been amusing to him. He says something else and I hear most of it.
"We can't forget? We can't forget who we are?"
He laughs and I know I'm wrong again. Although I'm frustrated I can't help but feel a smile creeping up on me. We both take a sip of our hot chocolate at the same time, and we give each other the same side-glance that we did when I first told him I loved him.
That look of shock, and happiness, all mixed into one. Like all of a sudden you realise that this is who you're destined to be with, and this is who you've been searching for all along.
"You want to... accept who we are?"
I try. He nods and grumbles out something else.
"We can't forget... we should accept..."
I tap my fingers on the cup in my hands and try to think, and then it hits me.
"We shouldn't forget the past, we should accept it as part of who we are!"
Rogelio nods and we both laugh.
Maybe it's the heat of the Valley of the Lost, or maybe it's the heat of the hot cup in my hands, but for what could be the fifth time today my face feels hot and itchy all of a sudden, and I just know that my cheeks are red. Ro places a hand on my left cheek and makes it worse, so I shove him away playfully.
"Hey, stop!"
I giggle when he starts to tickle me. I hastily put my cup on the table and try to get him back, but it's useless. We both laugh when I climb on top of him and try to tickle him, but instead I'm the one who gets it.
"Good luck now!"
I say, now straddling his legs and pinning his arms down. It doesn't take long for me to go red again. He raises his eyebrows and smiles at this and I have to force myself to look away before I get so embarrassed I shrivel up and die on the spot. I let go of him and lie down, my head resting on his chest and listening to his heartbeat.
It's fast, but slowing down. Like a train grinding to a halt, or breathing becoming more steady after running for a while. He runs his hand through my messy hair and my skin tingles where he touches me, sending shivers down my spine and around my whole body.
"I love you."
I whisper. Ro moves his hand to my back and growls something in return.
'I love you, too.'
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
Second chapter! Sorry if this is boring for anyone, but I enjoy writing about these kind of moments between them. Also, I don't want the plot to go to fast like my other fanfiction (a teen Titans one).
But I hope you enjoyed!
-Rose 💗
published: 31/05/2020