LAURIE
Laurie stood outside of Jeremy and Joshua's cabin, pretending to be engrossed with the bright orange that outlined the puffy white clouds in the pink sky as passersby said hello. She absently nodded back, murmuring greetings and mentioning the beauty of the sunset. She finally faced the cabin and took a deep breath. It's Jason's cabin too, she reminded herself. If they didn't remarry, it was likely that he would return to live with his brothers there. Joshua had reported that after Jason had made arrangements for her to leave, he had holed up in their old cabin with a bottle of whiskey. Thinking, he had said.
"Look, I know it's none of my business, but I thought you should know."
"Joshua, I don't think anything I could say would be helpful right now."
"You don't understand. Women don't normally come back to Seattle, and he's not sure you will either. If you don't, he'll leave, you know he will. I know he told you he'll provide whatever means he can for you wherever he can, even if it means giving up everything he's ever worked for. Maybe you don't believe him, but I do. Talk to him, Laurie, please. Let him know you're coming back. He'll believe you."
That was why Laurie stood in front of the cabin now. She chewed the insides of her cheek and rubbed her hands raw, trying to muster the strength to approach the porch. What could she possibly say to make it better? To say she was coming back was a possible lie, and she didn't want to do that. She wanted honesty in their relationship, didn't she? That meant she had to be honest with herself, and right now she couldn't possibly know what the future looked like. No matter how many times she had prayed these past couple of hours, she couldn't shake the anger she felt. It hurt! Jason wanted her, loved her, he said, but he would go through with an annulment all over again?! He'd been honest about it even though it made no sense to her. At least, according to Richard, she had fought to stay together. Knowing that he had jumped at the first chance to end their marriage pierced her soul.
Oh! It was all so maddening! She had thought she wanted to go to San Francisco, but as time ticked closer to leaving, she found herself unwilling to carry through. How could she change her mind like that? Integrity demanded she take the trip, but she wasn't sure seeing Jenny was good for either of them. Not yet. And Kenna? Her parting words had made it clear Laurie was never welcome in her house again. Well, that's what Laurie got for speaking her mind.
After a quick pat to the soft bun in her hair, she turned away and walked back to the saloon in slow steps. Okay, she could admit her misgivings about seeing Jenny and Kenna were part of her reluctance to return to San Francisco, but admitting those feelings didn't change her mind about remaining in Seattle. Still, she didn't want to be unkind to Jason. He was the father of her child! He had been kind and understanding through so many things that would have driven lesser men away. Richard had told her the facts after Jason left, taking full responsibility for that entire dreadful day, but she wasn't sure he really deserved it. Jason was the one who had demanded she sign the papers. Didn't actions speak louder than words? So even though he was everything she ever wanted, if he didn't want to be a family, then she didn't want to stay.
Well, one thing was certain. She was a coward, and she wouldn't talk to Jason just yet. She still had a few hours to decide what she wanted to do.
No one said anything when she entered the building, although Joshua stood at the bar with Aaron and Jeremy, each stoically studying the liquor in front of them. No sign of Richard. Annoyed, she walked past them into the kitchen and startled Lottie by flinging herself against the wall.
"I've decided I'm done with marriage," Laurie told her. "I'm going to have a baby. So what? A woman doesn't have to get married just because everyone expects her to."
Lottie smiled and said, "Bravo! Sounds like you and Candy are kindred spirits these days. Maybe you two could start an anti-Bolt brother club."
"What?!"
"Oh, you know. She and Jeremy called off their engagement, and now Jeremy is rethinking that decision. Only Candy wants nothing to do with him."
"Why not?" Laurie asked, her hands already fidgeting. "I thought... I didn't know. Why? When did this happen?"
"I don't know," Lottie said in exaggerated tones, her eyes once again expressing themselves by widening more than should have been possible. "It was sometime before even I found out about it. But I know it has something to do with you and Jason, but mostly you."
Aaron poked his head into the room. "I'm not meaning to interfere, but Jason just entered the saloon. Thought you might want to know."
Laurie sent him a scathing look, and he quickly retreated to the barroom.
"Don't say anything to him, please," she said to Lottie.
Lottie shrugged. "None of my business what you two do with your love life," she said and continued to stir the stew in her dutch oven in mock serenity.
Laurie stuck her tongue in her cheek and waited for advice that didn't come. Finally, she shook her head. "If my mother had lived, she'd have been just like you. Full of advice and waiting for me to figure it out."
Lottie smiled, her eyes teasing her.
Laurie made an exasperated and completely unladylike sound with her lips. She stuck her head into the larder and dug up a jar of strawberry preserves. Next, she hacked away at a loaf of bread she had made earlier, putting the deformed slices on a plate. She picked it up along with the preserves and said, "I had a complicated life enough before all this. You know?"
"Well, no one said loving a Bolt was easy, especially Jason."
"Especially Jason isn't easy to love, or especially Jason said loving a Bolt wasn't easy?"
Lottie tilted her head to the side and put her hands on her hips, still holding her spatula. "Does it matter?"
"I suppose not." Laurie marched forward and paused at the door to take a deep breath. Just because she felt annoyed didn't mean she had a right to be disrespectful. She reentered the barroom and set the plate of bread and preserves in front of Jason. He started, and his eyes met hers, a question in them. She could only gesture to the food and left the saloon. Again, she huffed as she walked. If the doctors could see me now, coming and going like this, they'd lock me up for good.
After a couple of swift raps on Candy's door at the dormitory, the girl answered, her yellow calico sleeves damp. "Laurie! I'm sorry, I was finishing the floors in the dormitory."
"Can we talk?" Laurie asked as she entered the small room when Candy stepped back.
"Of course. I really am sorry about you overhearing us this afternoon."
"Don't, Jason would have told me, anyway. But that's not why I'm here." Laurie stood in the middle of the room, unsure where to start.
"Oh. Is there something else that's wrong?"
Laurie took a deep breath and sat on the edge of Candy's neatly made bed. "Everything is wrong. I'm about to leave for a visit to San Francisco, maybe for good, and I just heard that you and Jeremy aren't getting married anymore. And somehow, it's Jason's and my fault. Well, mostly my fault, and if that's true, tell me how to make it right. I can't stand the thought of being the reason you're not getting married anymore. How did I cause this rift between the two of you? Is it something I still haven't remembered?"
"Oh, no! No, Laurie, it's not like that at all." Candy gathered her dress around herself and sat next to Laurie. "We just... well, it started with me telling Hannah about you and Jason being forced into marriage, but it was an accident, I promise. She said some mean things about you and when I tried to defend you it just slipped out. It made everything worse. Jeremy was so mad."
"Why? It was true."
Candy scraped her bottom lip with her teeth, making a little noise when she let go. "Well, that's how you got in a fight with her. She never would have kissed Jason if she thought he was in love with you. I shouldn't have said anything, but I thought if she understood how things were improving between the two of you, she would be a little more kind. Hannah's really not such a bad person, she just fell in love with the wrong man."
"But I don't understand why you and Jeremy broke up over that," said Laurie with a little scoff. "Hannah's married now, and she left town. It's true we didn't part as the best of friends, but after all that had happened, we understood one other."
"Oh, it wasn't just that. He got mad... then I got mad... and then we both vented some frustration. It's not the first time. We've fought before."
"And how did that go?"
Candy dabbed at her eyes with her fingers and shook her head. "It was different back then. This time I'm afraid we meant it."
"So because of a little slip of the tongue, the two of you are ready to end things? I know you said there were other problems, but..." She clamped her mouth shut and rolled her lips together. What did she really know about Jeremy and Candy, anyway? She'd only met them earlier in the year, and Laurie realized she had spent more time with Lottie than with Candy. She was even closer to Aaron, Biddie, and possibly some married women around town. What a terrible sister-in-law she'd make unless she changed some things! She rolled her eyes to the roof and asked, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry. I just know how happy you were when I came, and it hurts my heart to think that's one more thing my coming to Seattle has messed up."
"But you can't blame yourself! I don't know... maybe it wasn't meant to be. All I can say is, if he wanted to be married so much, he should have pushed to set the date."
Laurie scrunched her forehead, trying to remember. "But didn't you have a date set when I got here?"
"Yes, but then everything happened and he just wouldn't talk to Jason about it. He should have made us a top priority!"
Laurie blew out her frustration with a large puff of air. Candy was right. If a woman was going to marry a man, she needed to know he would put them first. But in her experience with Jason, what that looked like to the Bolt brothers wasn't the same as it looked like to women. "They are a breed of their own, aren't they? Our Bolt brothers? They don't think like that. Family is everything to them. Look how Jason gave his young adulthood to raise his brothers. Jeremy and Joshua have a sort of reverent gratitude for that. I watched them talk while I was recovering. They're very mindful of one another. Perhaps he thought it too much for Jason to deal with, given everything Sherman and Richard had heaped on him. And all the stuff I put him through... and the logging camp! You know they almost lost it."
Candy chewed her nails, quietly listening. When she didn't speak, Laurie kept talking with the prayer that something, anything, she said would help Candy and Jeremy mend their fences. If she was going to leave, she could at least help to heal the family she had broken.
"I'm not saying it's right, but knowing them like I do now, I think Jeremy thought he could handle things on his own without weighing on Jason. Joshua too, after he broke his leg. He knew they were relying on him. And no amount of talking about it would have changed anything. All three of them are so stubborn! When Jason makes up his mind about something, he doesn't compromise. He might change his tactics, and he might recognize that the result looks different from what he thought it might. But once that man has looked over his options, he's going to keep trying until he reaches the outcome he wants. Sometimes he's so opinionated on how things should happen that I feel like I can't breathe, but then I remember how if he wasn't so tenacious, I'd be dead. Our baby too," she added, putting her hand on her abdomen. "So it's a trait I can't wish away." She sighed and smiled at Candy. "Jeremy can't be much different. He made his mind up to marry you. He probably didn't think how pushing the date back one more time would affect you, or your relationship."
"You're right, all three of them are stubborn. And I'm like you. As frustrating as he is, especially since he's gotten more involved with the logging camp, I can't help myself. I love him."
"Do you?" Laurie asked, genuine in her curiosity. "Sometimes I don't understand exactly what it is I'm feeling. He's so, so... so Jason, you know?"
Candy squeezed her hand and laid her head on Laurie's shoulder. "They don't make it easy, do they? Loving them? Sometimes I just want to scream into my pillow."
Laurie stiffened - wasn't that what Lottie had said? "What did you say?"
"The Bolt brothers. Sometimes they're so sweet, and other times they can be really pigheaded. And they call us willful!"
"But in the end...?"
"In the end, you just can't keep yourself from loving him, can you? And they're always sweet and sorry... to a point. Sometimes we just have to compromise. It's just not fair!"
Loving him? Isn't that what Lottie had just told her, that loving Jason wasn't easy? Were they seeing something she wasn't? She had never actually said she loved him, had never even entertained the thought. But wasn't that what she was just telling Candy? That regardless of his flaws, she wouldn't change him?
Despite feeling every emotion under the sun all in one afternoon, she had taken the time to serve him some stupid bread and jam. Why did she do that? Was it out of respect like she had thought? Was it because it was the proper thing for her to do? Or was it... Laurie's eyes widened. Because I love him. I did it because I don't want to see him embarrassed in front of his friends. And I can't stand to see him hurt. I wanted him to know I still cared, no matter what I was feeling. No wonder I feel so torn... I want to be with him. All this talk of leaving, and I'm in love with Jason! Why didn't someone tell me?!
Her hysterical giggle bubbled out as she admitted to herself people had, she just hadn't paid attention. After all this time, after a forced marriage, falling trees, fires, and people getting hurt or killed, and Sherman's evil... and a baby already on the way... now she could finally recognize it? What a little fool she was!
Candy raised her head to give her a worried look and then started giggling too. "It's just awful, isn't it?"
Laurie burst out in a full laugh. "I can't wait until you marry Jeremy so we can be sisters like you said. I'm sure your life will be quieter than mine seeing how Jeremy isn't as vocal as Jason, but I can tell you it's nothing like anything else, being a Bolt man's wife. And it doesn't help I'm just as stubborn as Jason is. Oh, Sister Agnes would say the devil is in both of us! What a pair we are!"
"Now you sound like Aaron," Candy said, her giggle deepening. "Biddie said the other day that Aaron swore God must have made you for Jason because no one else besides his brothers dared to stand up to Jason like Aaron does, and Aaron wasn't about to marry him."
They both doubled over in relieved laughter, and they were still giggling when a knock sounded at the door. Candy rose to check on it, and Laurie relished in the warm feeling that spread through her. She was in love! Genuine, true-blue, honest-to-goodness love, and she had figured it out all by herself! Sort of. Inwardly, she groaned. She loved a man Richard had picked out! He would never let her forget it. Well, some things were worth the inconvenience.
"Just a moment, Jason."
Laurie instantly sobered when Candy said Jason's name. What if she had already blown it? What if they couldn't come back from everything that had happened? Some men had walked away for less. Her brother and her father had.
No. That's not how Jason is. Oh, my word. I'm in love and I trust him!
"It's Jason," said Candy, after she closed the door. "He says he doesn't want to push you, but he'd like to talk to you before you leave. If it's congenial?"
Laurie swallowed and stood, smoothing the skirt of her dress down. She hadn't paid attention to all the wrinkles from the day's activities, but now their presence bothered her, even if Jason wouldn't notice. She took in a deep breath to stuff her silliness aside. "Tell him to give me just a moment. Do you have a brush?"
Candy pointed to her small vanity area and stuck her head out of the door to murmur Laurie's response. Laurie quickly took her hairpins out, and Candy came to help her after she shut the door on Jason's low tones.
"He's waiting," said Candy, pulling her brush through Laurie's hair.
Laurie breathed deep. Somehow this mattered. It mattered so very much.
"It's going to be okay, Laurie. He loves you." She set the brush down and met Laurie's eyes in the mirror.
"Someday I'll say the same thing to you about Jeremy," whispered Laurie.
Candy smiled, and the women hugged. With whispered promises of talking soon, Laurie stepped out of Candy's room into the cool early evening air, Candy shutting the door for privacy.
Jason stood up from leaning on a post and he quietly put Laurie's shawl over her shoulders, his fingers lingering just long enough for her breath to hitch. When she questioned him with her eyes, he softly explained, "I noticed you didn't take it with you when you left." She nodded, and Jason picked up a lantern he had set next to him. They walked side by side, not touching.
"Where are we going?" she finally asked. "It's getting dark, and I don't want to deal with Richard."
He gestured toward the woods on the edge of the Sound. "Someplace private in Lover's Lagoon." He glanced at her and chuckled nervously. "Don't worry, your brother will be fine. He knows you're with me, and for once, he's promised not to interfere."
They walked past Clancey's ship on their way to Lover's Lagoon, a place thick with trees and soft moss. Laurie had heard of the place, but Jason had never brought her there before. She waited for him to hold a branch out of her way to enter a small clearing where he steered her to a fallen log. She looked around and could see why people had given the place its name. A pair of lovers could embrace in the romantic setting for hours without being disturbed, yet not so far away from town to be worrisome. Jason had her sit on the log, and she looked through a hole in the large canopy of tree branches to see a few stars shining in the twilight sky.
After making sure she was comfortable, Jason tied the lantern to a tree branch in front of them. He sat beside her and touched her hair lightly.
"Why do you do that?"
"It's soft," he said, as if the answer was obvious. "And it reminds me of our first night in Seattle."
"Our first night?"
"You were using my mother's hairbrush. I came in and, well, you were nervous, so I brushed your hair. I didn't realize how intimate that could be."
"I remember that. I didn't know you thought of it at all."
If the sad quirk of his mouth didn't tell her how he felt, his soft, "I think about it often," did the job, pulling at her heartstrings.
They sat still for a few moments, letting the reverence of the moment wash over them. Unable to handle the fast beat of her heart, Laurie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Jason?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry I acted so poorly today. I don't know why I'm annoyed with everything and everyone. I guess I didn't take the news of the annulment and the cabin well."
"Oh. Well, you're tired. You're not fully healed yet, and you found some things out today that are hard on you. They would be hard anyway, but for a woman carrying a child, it's got to be more than upsetting. Darling, believe me, I understand. If annoyed is all you're feeling, I can only think God has performed a small miracle."
Laurie could barely squeak out a thank you before her eyes watered.
"While we're trading apologies, I have one for you," he said, looking down at his hands, his fingers picking at his nails. "I felt, well, I suppose I couldn't get started on rebuilding the cabin fast enough." His chuckle was shy. "I can see how I should have talked it over with you first, but I was happy there, and wanted to surprise you. I guess I hoped we would be again."
"I was too," she answered, still watching his fingers, too afraid to look at him. There was a finality to his voice that scared her to her core, yet she found it thrilling at the same time.
"Laurie," he said, leaning forward to separate her hands. She hadn't noticed she was tearing at them again. "It's all right. I'm here to make up, not break up." His voice was so warm, so gentle and understanding, her nerves melted like butter in hot biscuits.
"Oh," she breathed, her voice shaky.
His focus was on her hands, held lightly in his own, and it was as if the rest of the world hushed around them so she wouldn't miss a single word. There were no bird calls, no rustle of leaves in the trees. "I know I handled things badly. I probably shouldn't have listened to that doctor," he muttered. He heaved a deep sigh, shaking his head. "Laurie, I'm sorry. Whatever mistakes I made or didn't make, I know I should have told you about the annulment sooner. That's obvious. Darling, I'm asking you to please forgive me. For all of it." He lifted his eyes to meet hers.
A tear escaped, running down her cheek.
"What I don't think you understand is, I love you. Oh, I know I've told you that before, but do you really understand? I love our baby too," he added when she glanced at her belly, "but that's not the issue. It's you I want. Having a child is... wonderful. But it started with you. I told you I'd go anywhere you wanted. If you want to go back to San Francisco, or Scotland, or back East... someplace you've never been... Wherever it is, Laurie. I know how your family has hurt you, what you grew up with."
He looked away again and swallowed. When he refocused on her, the lamp's light caught his face just right, exposing his piercing gaze of brilliant blue. "I wish it wasn't so. Maybe that's why I forget myself. I forget who you've become in all that. You're strong, darling. A survivor. What you've had to endure, I know what it cost you. Maybe that's why I go overboard sometimes. Maybe in some small way, I'm trying to make up for what you've lost. What should have been."
"You can't heal my past, Jason," Laurie said, letting her tears flow. "No one can."
"Your father could," he said softly. "He could help heal you if you wanted."
That was not a response she had expected. Her mouth went dry, and her palms suddenly felt wet in his. She pulled them away and rubbed them against her hips. Suddenly she couldn't look at him, couldn't stand the conversation anymore. This was about them, wasn't it? So why bring up her father?
"Da has nothing to do with this," she said, standing and wiping her eyes with her hands.
He stood with her and retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket. His eyes held the same heavy sadness she saw in others when someone close to them had died, and while he spoke he dabbed her eyes dry. "I would take you to Texas to see him if you wanted. He could meet his grandchild. It could be what you need to heal. Josh and Jeremy, they can get on without me."
Oh. What he was saying sunk in. Joshua had warned her. She had thought she understood, but faced with the reality of what Jason's leaving would mean hit her in a wave of pain. It was... it was...
"Jason, you're breaking my heart!" she cried out, her voice cracking.
"Well, I don't mean to! I'm letting you know, no matter what you decide, there are options. I'll sell my third of the mountain to my brothers and—"
She launched herself at him so fiercely he struggled to stay upright. His height an obstacle to his lips, she settled for wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezed his words silent. "I don't want to hear anymore. Please, Jason. No more."
"Why is this upsetting you?"
"You're telling me you'd leave Seattle, and I know you mean permanently. You would leave, for me. But I could never ask you to do that! I wouldn't do that to you. I couldn't. I... please, please, Jason, don't say that. Not anymore. Not about this. I don't want to leave. I don't want anything but our home back. That's all I want, and it's burnt. It's burnt and Sherman tainted everything and everyone. And I still want to be here, and I—"
Jason had pried her arms from around him and stopped her word flow with a kiss. Raw and hot, his lips connected fervently with hers, both of his hands holding her by the arms. The intensity of it was shocking, leaving her mind weak. Laurie clung to his jacket, and as his kiss became more insistent, she sunk deeper into his embrace, his arms wrapping around her. Her heart hammered like it wanted to break free from her chest and her legs went soft. How could she ever have thought to leave him? A sob rose in her throat, and his intensity rose with it.
He broke off their moment of passion abruptly, leaving Laurie drunk on the dizzying sensations still pulsing through her veins. He murmured something, but she missed it, still fighting to surface from a tidal wave of overwhelming emotion.
"What?" she asked and blushed when she heard her breathy voice.
"I said I love you. I can't be any plainer, Laurie," Jason said in her hair while he crushed her to him. "I love you. I know it's the same line every man uses, but God knows it's true. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I can't imagine, no, I don't want to imagine being separated, to live our lives without the other... To think you could leave... You and I, we made that child. Together." He relaxed his hold on her to allow enough space for him to look at her. "And that's what I'm telling you. I didn't make you sign the annulment because I didn't want to be married to you. I did it to protect you. The whole time, Laurie, I promise, I meant to make it right. And I know, how I went about it was wrong, and I'll do whatever it takes. In whatever way is comfortable for you, I'll make it right. Just... Wherever you go, please, let me go with you. I want to be a part of your life. I want you. If you need time—"
Laurie put her finger on Jason's lips to still them. His words were rushed, so unlike him. She supposed after their last conversation he might be afraid she would cut him off, and she hated that nagging little tidbit, especially since she was doing it, anyway. "I don't need any more time. I'm not leaving. I can't. I want to raise our baby together. And I could never ask you to leave Seattle. Not permanently. You need Seattle like you need air. You've poured so much of yourself into this town, helping it grow and develop, and both of us know you're not done yet."
"Darling..." He delicately brushed his lips against hers, sending a delicious shiver throughout her body. She lifted herself on her toes to put her arms around his neck, making him lean deeper into her.
"And what is Seattle without Jason Bolt?" she continued when she caught her breath. "Or who is Jason Bolt without Seattle? I would never... I really couldn't. You would miss your brothers too much, and your friends. I know you would grow melancholy. Oh, I know you think you can choose what you feel," she said, quickly to ward off any objections he had, "but you know you would be sad. Do you really think I want to watch that happen? Watch the light go out of you?" Laurie's voice choked. Their eyes locked, and she felt the full force of his gaze. Feeling shaky, she continued, whispering, "I couldn't do that to the man I love."
His eyes widened, and he asked quietly, "Could you say that again, please?"
"Jason!"
"Just the last part. The part where you said you love me."
Laurie sucked in her air. She hadn't meant to say it. Sometimes words seemed to say themselves. But his expression, one of hesitant hope, hurt her more than any pain Sherman could have ever imagined inflicting. She let out her breath and said, "I love you, Jason."
If the sun had burst out from behind the dark sky and shined directly on his face, Jason couldn't have looked more brilliant than he did with certainty breaking through his hope, his heart in his smile. He crushed her against him and laid a path of light kisses from her cheek to her mouth, each one lingering just a little longer than the last.
"I thought you were ready to jump," he confessed, letting her go. "I told Ben not to sell you a ticket on the stagecoach until I talked to you, and Clancey..."
Laurie didn't care that her smile matched his. It only reflected the giddiness she felt. "What did you say to poor Captain Clancey? I thought you went to arrange passage?"
"I'm afraid I threatened to skewer his rum-soaked hide if he set sail with you."
She burst into giggles, and soon they were both filling the air with laughter. Jason grew serious again and took her hand.
"We're staying. Because wherever you are, I want to be there too." He touched her cheek, and she watched mischievousness grow in his smile. "You know, while you were sorting things out at our cabin today, I looked over what's left. I'm glad the fireplace made it. It'll take some scrubbing, but it marks the place of one of my favorite memories."
"It does? Which memory is that?"
She didn't think it was possible, but his grin grew wider. "Don't you remember? You said you were hotter than a June bride and I took you to the beaver pelt and we...?"
"I remember," said Laurie, knowing she should feel scandalized, but she couldn't be. Not with him.
"Good. Because that's the first time I knew we were, ah, a couple. Because you wanted me. You weren't making love to me out of duty, or my birthday, or something like that."
"Or an elaborate scheme to have a baby, you mean," Laurie said, filling in the blanks.
"Yeah, well, that was a memorable, ah, afternoon."
She giggled, remembering the behavior they should have been ashamed of. Thank goodness she had followed her husband's lead. She felt the last thread of the nuns' influence give way to Jason's, at least for the time being. "It was nice, wasn't it?"
He put one arm around her waist, the other around her shoulders in an intimate embrace, and whispered in her ear, "I'd like to do that again."
"Again? Married or unmarried?"
He chuckled and kept his voice soft and warm as he said, "I thought a hundred ways to say this. Hundreds of romantic gestures and words, but in the end, I decided the most romantic thing to do was to speak from my heart."
She put her hand on his chest and could feel his heart thumping against it. "I would love to hear what your heart has to say."
He smiled, and with a delicate touch she didn't think he was capable of, he kissed her hand before saying, "Marry me, Laurie. Only this time, don't marry me because someone's tricked you or forced you into it. Not even out of moral obligation or responsibility," he said, his hand sliding from her back to caress where the baby lay in her midsection. "I assumed you would, and I'm sorry for that. You were right. I can only ask. It's your choice. And that's why I'm asking you now. Please, my beautiful, lovely Laurie, my bride. Marry me. Marry me, darling, for love."
Laurie's heartbeat matched his, hard and fast, her breathing quick and shallow. Her eyes leaked all over her cheeks, while his own sought an answer. So overcome by emotion, she barely breathed the word, "Yes," and gratefully let him enclose her in his arms once more. When they finally kissed, she almost swooned, and Jason with a chuckle asked her if she had burst into stardust. On their way back to town they held hands, and she saw a star fall out of the sky. Thinking of that last romantic question, she gave her wish to someone else.
She already had everything she wanted.
JASON
Jason closed his bible quietly and laid it on the nightstand. He turned his attention back to his fiancee' and smiled. Laurie yawned and smiled sleepily back. "Tired?" he asked, tousling her hair.
She put her head on his chest and snuggled into the covers he lounged on top of, propped up by a pillow. "You know I am. That was a lot of celebrating we did when we got back."
"Hmm. Well, I suppose I should leave you for the night, then." When Laurie didn't answer, he sighed. "We talked about this."
"And I still have mixed feelings about it."
He stared ahead, running his fingers lightly over her back. He felt torn himself. It wasn't as if anyone would know or object to him staying with her overnight. She was already carrying his child, so the repercussions for having a child out of wedlock were already in play.
"Jason?"
"Oh, I was just thinking. It's not like it will be for long, and we'll get to pretend we're a normal couple for once."
She lifted her head to look at him, a giggle in her throat. Jason imagined her sleepy eyes were sparkling. "I don't think we'll ever be normal."
Jason chuckled and rolled her over to kiss her, crushing the bed under them. She wrapped her arms around his neck to hold him there, and together they enjoyed the sweet taste of engagement: not quite an amorous liaison, but ardent overtures nonetheless. If they were outside, he might let his hands tease them both by brushing her breasts, but here, in her bedroom, with only a layer of quilt and sheets between them, he didn't dare. There were some things a man might lose himself to, and her eternal softness in his palm would be all it would take. But God help him, he wanted to.
Her arms relaxed, and he took the cue to end the kiss. Her eyes opened, but they quickly drooped. He kissed her hand. Regardless of how either of them felt, she wasn't in any condition for intimacy with him, marital or otherwise. Not yet. And that was the real reason he hadn't pressed the issue.
"What are you thinking?" she whispered and yawned again.
"That as much as I'm enjoying myself, you need your rest."
"Because of my head."
"And the baby," he reminded her.
She nodded, and with slit eyes, traced his lips with her fingers. "You're right. But stay with me until I fall asleep. Please?"
"All right." He motioned for her to get comfortable and lifted himself off the bed. "I'm going to grab a drink and I'll be right back."
"Lottie left you a bottle and glass somewhere," she said, yawning again, this time blinking.
"I know. It's on the table."
She nodded and turned onto her side. He shook his head and walked to the parlor table to pour himself a glass of whiskey. It wouldn't be long before she was asleep. He shot the whiskey down his throat and poured himself another glass to sip on. A soft knock on the door startled him. He put the glass down and opened it, revealing Lottie in her nightgown and robe. Jason found it interesting that while Laurie embraced yards of lace daily, Lottie's clothes always seemed to be trimmed with feathers.
"I just wanted to see how she's doing."
He motioned for her to come in. "She's fine," he said, leading the way to the bedroom. "She's exhausted. Oh, she's fighting it, but she's..."
He stopped in the doorway. Asleep, Laurie's breathing was even, her curled fingers resting childishly on her pillow. He walked to her and brushed a kiss on her forehead. She sighed, making him smile.
"Why don't you go on to bed? I'll stay up with her a little longer and make sure she stays asleep," Lottie whispered from behind. When he didn't respond, she touched his arm. "Relax, handsome. She's not going anywhere tonight. She's safe now, thanks to you."
"I know," he said with his voice lowered to almost a whisper, and held his breath when she rolled over. "I can't help it. I nearly lost her today."
"Oh, I don't think so. She was already at her wit's end before you chased her to Candy's."
"Chased her?"
"Honey, you stood on my saloon's stoop staring at that dormitory way too long to consider your walk over there coincidental."
Jason nodded and signaled he was ready to follow her out. "Maybe you're right. I couldn't let her go without trying one more time."
"Well, you've caught her. Now, what are you going to do with her?"
Jason glanced at his old friend in surprise. "I don't know. Marry her? Cherish her?"
"Love her?"
He grinned. "Definitely that. I already do."
"So this marriage isn't about the baby?"
"No. That's just a lucky circumstance."
Lottie gave him an unexpected hug. "You're going to make a terrific husband and father."
"Heh, thanks. You'll stay with her awhile?"
She nodded. "She still gets nightmares, you know. I don't expect her to wake up tonight since you wore the poor girl out," she said knowingly, and Jason grinned at her exaggerated eye roll, "but I'll stay for a while. Just in case."
"Thank you, Lottie. It means a lot to me."
Lottie studied him for a moment. "You're sure you're up to this?"
He sighed and scratched his head. "Depends on what you mean by 'this.' Marriage? Yes."
"Going without, you know," she said looking at Laurie while moving her shoulders suggestively, "until the I dos? Really, Jason, no one would have batted an eye if you'd taken her straight to the church."
Jason shook his head and put his hands on his hips. "I know I can't make up for everything, but she's already been rushed through two weddings. This time I want her to plan it. I don't care about the expense. I want her to be happy. I want her to shine with magic when she walks down that blessed aisle to stand at my side." He thought of Laurie walking through the church in Tacoma, her head held high enough to remind him of Queen Mary, and he realized just how much her happiness meant to him.
Lottie touched his arm. "That's something I would have expected from Jeremy, not you. Oh, you can be romantic when you want to, but I'm surprised you're giving her full reign. I figured you'd at least give her some boundaries."
Jason glanced at Laurie peacefully sleeping. He looked back at Lottie and chuckled. "Oh. Well, you've never seen me in love before. Not really."
"So this is what it looks like. She's reformed the bachelor in you."
Jason blushed and nodded. "I know." He polished off his glass of whiskey and handed the empty glass to her. "Well, I think I'll turn in. If she needs anything, come get me."
Lottie walked behind him to the door, and as he stepped out she said, "Just one thing, Jason."
His brow furrowed as he looked down at his old friend.
"When that baby's born, I want aunt's rights. Laurie has become special to me, and that baby is going to mean even more."
He grinned and kissed Lottie's forehead. "You're first in line." He left her standing in the doorway to enter his room. Shutting the door behind him, he shook his head. He might have changed, but Seattle hadn't.
And thank the good Lord for that.