For Love

Chapter 21

LAURIE

In the early August heat, women languished on their porches with hand fans after speeding through their chores in the cool of the early morning hours. The humidity from rainstorms often left the earth steamy, and Laurie abandoned her curling tongs to a more practical French knot at the back of her head. It wasn't Jason's favorite, but she purposely made it a habit to take it down after her evening chores were complete just to see his eyes light up.

He often came home from work with a smile on his face, but sometimes he barely made it through supper before he would pass out on top of their covers. Those were the evenings Laurie chose not to disturb him. She slept under a light blanket next to him, but sometimes after the weather stormed the stickiness of the air kept her from snuggling close. When they were lucky enough to get a cool breeze, she opened the bedroom window and watched the stars wink at her. On those nights, shadows seemed to take on a life of their own, but Laurie shut her mind to them. She told herself it was her imagination and would force herself to walk to the bed without looking back, no matter how badly the hairs on her arms stood on end. She constantly reminded herself as she pulled the blanket over her that the only man in her life was the one that slept soundly next to her.

She wanted to forgive him.

Since that day in the rain after discussing Hannah, she and Jason were getting along better and better. There were some evenings he wouldn't go to Lottie's at all. Instead, he would drink from a bottle of scotch at home while he played a game of cards with her, laughing at himself when she out-bluffed him. But some nights he came home from Lottie's with his eyes a little too bright, so Laurie sat beside him in amiable silence. She would tend to her mending or sew on her tartan skirt while Jason quietly read from a book of Shakespeare. She never said so, but Shakespeare made her fingers tremble, and she never asked him about what he was reading on those occasions, but he did mention his favorite play was Hamlet. He had even played the part on a stage, and the thought amazed her. What didn't he do?

The evenings he read aloud from the Bible or his father's journals were her favorites, leading to intriguing discussions on theology and history, particularly the histories of Scotland and Seattle. It amused her when a journal entry prompted her husband to share a nugget or two of logging wisdom, his features and gestures becoming more animated. She enjoyed those moments most of all.

The hardest part of being married to Jason were the nights she spent watching him brood as he stared into the fireplace, or his evening drink of choice: coffee or whiskey, puzzling out some unfathomable question. Once Laurie asked him if she could help, but he had smiled at her and with a light kiss, promptly sent her to bed. It had been torturous to lie in the sweltering heat when she wasn't sleepy, and as she laid awake listening for him to retire, she vowed not to make that mistake again.

It was the nights he didn't come home at all that upset her the most. Lottie told her it wasn't unusual for the men to stay at camp overnight, and Candy had tried to empathize, reminding her how she missed Jeremy too. But no one could understand fully because Laurie couldn't bring herself to share her secret. When Jason wasn't there, she woke in a cold sweat, Sherman's whistle haunting her on the breeze. She became so nervous it destroyed any hope of rest, and she drifted through the next day with a throbbing headache. Life in Seattle was hard enough with never-ending chores and social obligations. She felt every hour of lost sleep tenfold. Jason's presence at night was a gift she never took for granted, even though there had been no more signs of masked peeping Toms or news of murders in neighboring towns.

These thoughts flew through Laurie's mind during her morning chores. She hung one of Jason's shirts over the clothesline and groaned. She had told him he needed some new ones, but he told her not to worry about it. If only he cared a little more about what he wore! He was handsome, and she yearned to see him in something a little more fashionable. Or, at the very least, a different color than the earth tones he seemed to prefer. She was sure blue would highlight his eyes.