JASON
Jason rolled over in bed and cursed his stupidity for giving Doreen two days. He had played cards, checked on Clancey, walked the streets, and eaten at the hotel restaurant. Thinking of Laurie, he took in a show on the Barbary Coast and finished drinking himself into a stupor when he got back to his room. That was the first day.
Today, day two, the sounds of Satan were at his door.
He groaned and sat on the edge of the bed; his hands planted firmly on his knees. At some point in the night, he had discarded his shirt and boots to sleep in his undershirt and pants.
The pounding started again. He stumbled out of the lumpy bed where he had passed out and yanked open the door, nausea sweeping over his senses. He closed his eyes and leaned against the door frame.
"Lawd, Mr. Bolt, you look a might worse for wear."
He squinted through one eye and grunted. Doreen stood in the doorway wearing a pretty pink cotton dress and blue knitted shawl, the colors staggering against her dark skin. He shut his eyes and grunted.
"I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage, Miss White."
"Doreen," she reminded him.
"Doreen," he mouthed, and walked back into the room, the door open. She stayed put and peeked in. Jason looked back at her and sighed, ruffling his curls as he ran his hand through his hair. "I won't bite."
"I can't just walk into a white man's room," she said to him, clutching her shawl around her arms.
He raised an eyebrow and snorted. "And if I were a black man?"
"Oh, you is wicked. Same as," she insisted, and hid her chuckle behind her hand. "Lawd, Miss Laurie must really like you."
"Oh?" He stood at his dresser and emptied what little was left in the bottle into a glass. He had hoped he'd left a little more than what trickled out.
"Miss Laurie always says she prefers a good man that act bad, 'cause that be a heap better in her book than a bad man pretending to be good."
"Hmm." He threw the liquor down his throat and closed his eyes. Probably the worst hangover since... He couldn't remember when. He normally kept himself on the sober side of drinking.
"You sure you should do that?"
"It helps. Well, temporarily," he said with a blush. "Truth is, I don't normally let myself, uh... well, it takes a lot to give me a hangover these days." The night revisited him, images of scantily clad women crossing the stage in his head. Dancers lifting their dresses to show their legs. Laurie in her nightgown. The shadows...
"What did you do?"
"What did I do?" he repeated absently, still mentally grinding his teeth. If only Laurie had been with him last night.
"You get too close to another woman? Maybe you forgot you was married to Miss Laurie."
Jason's head came up a bit too fast. "No!" He winced. "No," he said in a more reasonable tone. "I thought I'd catch a show, see what Laurie's opera house was like. I forgot I didn't know which one, so I ended up on the, ah, Barbary Coast. and someone pointed out a dance hall that looked to me like something she might have sung in." He squinted and folded his arms. "I don't know why I'm telling you this."
"Because you don't want to tell Miss Laurie."
"You're right. I don't. And I doubt that was where she worked."
"Oh, no. She never worked on the Barb'ry Coast. She sang at Maguire's. On Washington."
Jason chewed on a thumbnail and thought back to a visit he had made to San Francisco a few years past. Business had taken him to an unfamiliar part of the city, and an advertisement had caught his attention in front of a grand-looking theatre. Visions of men in polished shoes and ladies with their corsets so straight they looked like walking totem poles came to mind. No wiggle in them at all, which to Jason's way of thinking was a tragedy. He remembered that because he had been bumped into a few times while he considered just exactly what the advertisement was suggesting. "Maguire's? Isn't that the Opera House that had the woman on the horse? She looked—" He was going to say something ungentlemanly about the woman appearing nude, and suddenly he was uncomfortable to be having the conversation at all.
"That happened afore we got here, but I hear Miss Kenna tell Miss Laurie about the big uproar it caused, and Maguire's done sold out those nights. Menfolk just thought she was naked. That woman wore nothing more than a stocking to look that way. Lawd, the things they come up with for women to wear on stage! But Miss Laurie never wore nothing like that. They called her San Francisco's Scottish Sweetheart," Doreen said with gusto. "All she have to do is put on a pretty dress and sing 'til her lungs give out. I'll take you there after we all finished at the bank."
Jason could see it. In his mind, he could see Laurie wearing the red dress she wore on his birthday, the sleeves pushed down to reveal her bare shoulders, her hair curled and cascading over them. Her voice would ring over the crowd, many men in the audience mesmerized.
"I know," he said simply. "And thank you." He looked at her as if coming out of a dream and shrugged. "Well, if you won't come in, why don't you wait for me in the lobby. I'll be down, shortly."
Doreen smiled and showed two beautiful rows of teeth. "That sounds fine. I see you soon." She left and Jason slowly shut the door and sagged back down on the bed.
Hell of a way to wake up.
As quickly as he could manage, Jason met Doreen in the lobby. After a few more semi-pleasantries, Jason grabbed another drink or three at the saloon next door. Feeling more like himself, he smiled and laughed pleasantly at the woman's quiet words, and the taxi driver kept turning to look at them curiously. Jason frowned when a glorified buggy pulled past them with a few whispering women, all giving Doreen disapproving looks.
It irritated him, this thing with the black skin, although he was far from surprised by it. A lot of people had died to give her the freedom to do as she pleased like any other person, but winning the right and living it were two different things.
"You have a mighty frown on your face, Mister Bolt," Doreen warned him. "Best be careful now, or folks gonna think you be cross with this darkie."
"No one uses that term anymore," Jason said, shifting in his seat.
"There still be them that says it. Always will be. Ain't no reason to let it darken our day."
Jason picked at his boot for a moment. "You said we were headed to a bank?"
"Yes, sir. On Kearny, just two buildings away from Washington."
"Washington. Near...?"
"The very same. I put it there, thinking if Miss Laurie comes back, it might be easier for her. I know'd Maguire be angry about the fire, but it don't matter no more. But that ain't happening, is it? Miss Laurie, she gone for good."
"Well, I wouldn't mind if she visited now and then, but no, not to stay. I don't know if I could let her go even if she wanted to."
"So, Miss Laurie has finally found someone to love her. Praise be to the good Lawd for that."
Jason responded with a weak smile, and with a start, frowned. "What fire?"
"The fire at Maguire's."
They arrived at their destination before Jason could ask more. He quickly exited the taxi and helped Doreen out. There were a few stares Jason forced himself to ignore as they walked into the bank together. Doreen smiled at the teller behind the window.
"Miss Doreen! Didn't expect to see you so soon," the man said behind the barred counter, his brown mustache as bushy as his eyebrows. "Haven't seen you in a month of Sundays."
"Good to see you too," said Doreen with her eyes on the ground. "We need to see Mr. Carrington, please."
"Well, Mr. Carrington's a busy man," the man said, pulling his vest down.
Jason made a quick assessment of the man: small-boned, small-muscled, and small-minded. He drew a deep breath, but Doreen put a hand on his arm. "This man be Miss Laurie's husband. He'll be needing to see Mr. Carrington as well."
Now the man's eyes flickered to Jason, widening just a little. "I didn't know Miss McConnell got married. Congratulations."
"Thank you," said Jason.
"We need to see Mr. Carrington," Doreen repeated, this time stressing the word 'we.'
"Just a moment, please."
The man left his station to enter into another room, and Jason muttered what the man could do with his moment under his breath. Doreen patted his arm. "Some people just takes a while, that's all."
"It doesn't make it right."
"No sir, it sure don't."
Jason smiled at her. "I like you. I'm glad Laurie has you for a friend."
Doreen smiled sadly. "I was sure sad she had to leave. But someone had to be here for Miss Jenny. Miss Laurie wanted that."
Jason opened his mouth to ask her what she meant when an even smaller man appeared at the door with the teller. Jason drew himself up to his full height and watched as the presumably Mr. Carrington seemed to shrink within his own frame. After a nod from the bank manager, the teller opened the door and gestured them inside.
"Mr. Carrington will see you now."
As they walked past the teller Jason looked him in the eye and said, "All creatures great and small, the Lord God made them all."
LAURIE
Lottie had given Laurie of the saloon's larger rooms, and every day it was harder for Laurie to get out of bed. There was nothing for her to do. She had tried to help polish glasses and bring food to those who asked for a meal, but Aaron shooed her back upstairs when a man tried to pinch her. That man got himself a broken nose when the loggers realized what had happened. No one was moving in on Jason's territory. No one. Still, the incident left her too timid to volunteer again.
Laurie's feet clunked down one stair at a time, slowly, as she remembered it was Thursday. Lottie had closed the saloon so she could attend a prayer meeting at the church, leaving the barroom deserted. Laurie had planned to attend and see about joining the women's choir, but she didn't have the heart for it. Her mind refused to give up her concerns about Richard's reaction to her recent behavior. He would use it as an excuse to cause more chaos in her life, she just knew he would. Chaos was the last thing Jason wanted.
She wound her way between the tables toward the backroom in her mother's tartan skirt. She had promised herself not to wear it anymore, but it lifted her spirits. She could be wearing her new skirt by now, except she had left the fabric she had bought at the bazaar behind. Perhaps if she retrieved it from the cabin, sewing would pass the time and her mind might not be so preoccupied with Jason, Joshua, or even Richard.
Her stomach rumbled as she entered Lottie's kitchen. She had passed on breakfast. Having melancholy thoughts did nothing for Laurie's appetite. She grabbed a piece of cheese and spread some jam over a cold biscuit. After pouring herself a glass of buttermilk, she stared into space as she lamented that she hadn't asked Jason to send a wire when he reached San Francisco. She wondered how much he already knew. Did he know all the drama left in the wake of the few short years she had made San Francisco her home, or just some of it? And what he must think of her! He had to be swimming with ideas and questions and...
Laurie put her head in her hands. She should have told him everything. It should have been her to tell him about Jenny, about the fires, both at the plantation and again in San Francisco. Her life was riddled with fire. Her fingers brushed over her blouse where the burn marks marred her skin. Jason had never pushed her for details. He had assumed it was Sherman that had burned her, and she had let him.
Finishing her small meal, she quickly washed the plate and polished off her buttermilk. How was Jason going to feel about her staying at Lottie's instead of at home? Jeremy had apologized, but Joshua hadn't come around at all. Candy told her it took Joshua a little longer than the others to simmer down, but knowing and understanding didn't take away the restless feeling that settled over her when she thought about the evening she had fled to Aaron's. Laurie wanted to go home, but she didn't want to cause another confrontation. And if she did return home, the brothers would feel obligated to stay with her. This way she was free to roam without a bodyguard. Somewhat. Anytime she left the saloon, there always seemed to be someone that walked with her. It was disconcerting.
Jason trusts me, doesn't he? Or is this my life now, because he's scared I'm going to lose my wits?
She drifted to the piano and sat quietly for a moment. Her fingers touched the keys lightly, and the musical tune of "Abide with Me" took shape. Before she knew what she was doing, she was singing the hymn in her full stage voice, dramatically increasing until the last chord rang out.
When the song finished, she sat back and sighed. She had sung that song in front of Father James once, and he had encouraged her to continue to develop her voice for her children's sake. She, Doreen, and sometimes Big Sam used to sing hymns softly every night to Jenny at bedtime. With the recent development in her and Jason's relationship, it made her happy to think of singing songs every night to a child again. Jason would love that; Laurie just knew he would. Her smile grew.
She heard someone come in, and Laurie expected to see Lottie standing there. Instead, Joshua stood tall in his Sunday suit, his flaxen hair neatly combed, with a rifle in his hand.
"Joshua," she said, standing.
"I heard you singing. I didn't want to interrupt."
She glanced back at the piano and shrugged. "It makes me feel better."
"Yeah. Um... so I need to talk to you."
He was itching his neck like he wanted to scrub it clean. The awkwardness was still tangible between them, but this was her husband's brother. She had to try.
"Why don't you have a seat," she said, gesturing to a chair. "And I'll get you something to drink."
"Beer's fine," he mumbled.
With a quick nod, she rushed to pour it for him. Coming back to the table, she noticed he had taken a chair that faced the door and put the gun on the table. With other men, a rifle wouldn't have seemed odd, but Jason and his brothers rarely carried them unless they were hunting. Even then, the consensus was they were too busy for trapping and such. Jason preferred to buy his meat from Ben, and that had suited Laurie just fine, except for Brodie's fish and squirrels.
Lately, she could do without the smell of fish.
She set the beer in front of Joshua and sat down. He gave her an awkward glance and took a sip. "I'm sorry I said things where you could hear me. I should've kept my mouth shut."
Her cheeks burned. He wasn't sorry for what he said, only that she heard him. Sister Agnes' whispers seeped into her conscious mind. A lady always forgives with politeness and grace. But she couldn't help it. She was angry, and not just with him. She was angry with the one man in the world she didn't want to be angry with. She put her hands in her lap so Joshua wouldn't see them shake.
"It's all right. You didn't know I could hear."
"Sure, I did. That's just it. I'm mad at Jason, and I took it out on you. For that, I'm sorry. I knew if you overheard me then maybe we wouldn't have to walk on eggshells around each other. I don't like it that no one in our family is saying what they're thinking. I think you're capable, and..." Joshua paused and sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't think he's treating you fairly. I know he's doing his best, and I think... no, I know he's doing a great job. Being a husband is hard work. But—and this isn't a criticism, but I think he's wrong. He should tell you things he's not telling you."
"Because he thinks I belong in the asylum."
"No. He never said that. That's not what he thinks at all. What I said about all that? I'm frustrated, Laurie. I can see he's insecure, and that's not Jason. You don't tell him things and it worries him. It makes him think you're fragile."
Laurie picked at her hands. Wasn't she just telling herself that she should have told Jason those things she didn't want to? Avoiding uncomfortable conversations and pretending everything was fine didn't seem to serve her very well. Perhaps it never had, although honest conversations with Richard had gotten her nowhere.
"Don't you think I'm fragile too?"
"No, not from what Jason has told us. But I think there's a reason why your brother did what he did to you, and because you're not talking, you've made my brother nervous about what exactly he's dealing with."
Laurie looked away. What could she say to that?
"Look, this whole brother-in-law thing, I never dreamed it would be this difficult, but that's no excuse. My brother is your husband. I don't have any right to interfere, and... well, I won't. I don't have to always agree with my brother, and I don't always have to like what he does, but he's counting on me. And you are too, whether or not you know it. No matter what, I support and love my brother, and you. You're family now. So—so I'm sorry I said things I shouldn't have said. I know I said things that hurt, and I hate that I did that. When Jeremy pushed me I was saying things I don't even mean. All I wanted was for you to know there is a reason Jason has us watching you. A good reason, so please stop fighting it."
"But what you said, about Jason worried about my mental state? That wasn't a lie, was it?"
"No, but not how you think. He wants to understand why you were put in there. Just how much damage did your first husband do to you? That sort of thing, so he can better understand how to protect you."
"Because he's worried that I might hurt our child."
"That's my worry, not his."
"Oh." Laurie bent her head down and lost the fight to keep the tears back. "And that's why you wish he had married anyone else."
"I don't mean to be unkind. Laurie, I'm sorry. I never should have said that. I don't know enough to have an opinion like that."
"You're not unkind, Joshua. You're just being honest."
He shifted in his chair and dropped his voice, his hands cradling the half glass of beer in front of him. "Yeah, well, sometimes I should be a little less honest. It's none of my business."
"You love Jason and want to see him happy. I understand."
"That's the thing. I want both of you to be happy because Jason won't be happy until you are." He shook his head and took another long sip of his beer. "I felt terrible when Biddie came in the other night and told me you were at Aaron's and told me I needed to wash my mouth out with soap. Up to that point, I had thought I'd be able to come back to the cabin and talk things out with you."
"She did that?" Laurie asked as she wiped away the tears.
He chuckled. "She about chewed my ear off."
"I didn't think she was paying attention. It was like she was there one minute and gone the next."
"Aaron sent her to get Lottie. And boy, she lit into me like a firestorm. I've never seen Biddie so mad." He shook his head. "Usually she just goes around calling everyone a big pot along with something that might sting or make you roll your eyes, but it's still funny. But there wasn't anything funny about what she said to me that night. She ran in here and in a panic told Lottie she had to go to Aaron's right away. Then she turned on me and told me I should be ashamed of myself for speaking my opinions in a way that would hurt you. She said you could barely stand, you were so upset, and how dare I say I wished Jason had married someone else? And the next time I wanted to be an abrasive cur, I should go find a tree. That way when I spoke, I wouldn't make such an idiot of myself, and she hoped Jason didn't let me get away with it because you're sweeter than strawberry pie. Then she took off and Jeremy said he got the same lecture when she got to the dormitory." He rubbed his forehead. "She made quite an impression. I've never heard Biddie use language like that before. Aaron must be rubbing off on her."
"She did all that?"
"Yeah. How else did you think I knew where you were? I was so mad at myself because she was right. I shouldn't have let it go that far."
"I don't know what to say. I didn't think Biddie would do something like that."
"Why not? Isn't that what friends do? Defend you when you're not around to do it yourself?"
Laurie shrugged.
He stared at her hard for a few moments, searching her face. "Jason's right. You really don't trust anyone, do you?"
Laurie grazed her bottom lip with her teeth before answering softly, "I trust Jason."
"Really? Then why don't you tell him everything?"
"Well, it's not like he kept the one secret I told him, is it?" He pressed his lips together, and Sister Agnes cursed Laurie's sharp tongue. Laurie closed her eyes for a moment to collect herself. "You're right. I don't have a lot of experience with friends that don't turn on me."
"You know who your real friends are now, though, right? Here in Seattle, I would think we make it obvious."
She looked up at the ceiling. Her friends were the ones that didn't seek to cause her pain. That's how she looked at it. No one had ever defended her like that, and she teared up again. Perhaps it was time to leave Kenna's betrayals in San Francisco. She had trusted Aaron and that had turned out all right, hadn't it? "I suppose you could say I'm a bit slow in recognizing them, but Seattle is teaching me that not everyone is out to hurt me. It's nice. I know it wasn't fair to your brother, but I can't help but feel my marriage to Jason is probably the greatest blessing God has given me yet. I'm very grateful."
"You're grateful. For everything that's happened to you?"
She smiled sadly at him. "I've never felt so much genuine kindness in all my days. If it took everything I've been through to experience that, maybe it was worth it."
"You don't have to earn kindness in your life by living through terrible things, Laurie. Jason told us he found you to be remarkable. I'm beginning to understand why."
"Jason said that about me?"
He laughed. "I think you better get used to being pleasantly surprised. Especially with Jason. He adores you."
Laurie felt the heaviness in the air around them leave. She felt as if light flooded the room where there had been darkness. "Well, I'll hold on to my reservations until he says so, but I hope you're right."
He grinned. "Fair enough. Do you accept my apology?"
She nodded. She wasn't sure just how much she was ready to put herself back into the same situation of having him live under the same roof, but for now, she could do that much. "Yes." A dark thought grabbed Laurie's gut. "Joshua?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me. You want us to be open, so tell me all of it."
"I can't. Jason said—"
"I don't care. I... I think he and I shouldn't hide things from each other. Both of us need to open up, and my past is being told for me. It's okay, it's the way I wanted it. But, Jason... it can't be that he's seeing Hannah."
"Hannah? What's she got to do with anything?"
Laurie looked down at the table and sighed. "I hope nothing. Sometimes I think I was foolish for being jealous but I have days that... I just think it's odd, the way she disappeared, and no one has seen or heard from her since. And later Jason wanted to go to Olympia, but I interfered. I guess sometimes my mind makes up scenarios that are just too awful."
Joshua shook his head and leaned forward to take her hand. "Jason isn't with Hannah, Laurie. He might... okay, he might go to a saloon and appreciate a pretty girl while he's having a drink, but surely you know... you must know he wouldn't do that. He just wouldn't."
"I know," she whispered. "It's all the stuff we aren't saying that's making me think about things I shouldn't. I guess that's what you're saying about him too. You know her better than I do. Do you think she's jealous? That she could have left the note? Did she threaten me?"
Joshua shook his head vehemently. "Absolutely not."
"Oh."
Joshua settled back in his seat and looked into his beer for a few moments. He reminded her of Atlas, the Greek Titan who stood with the world on his shoulders. He sighed again and said, "Look, maybe it wasn't really anything."
Laurie watched him not meet her eyes, and his voice grew thoughtful while he spoke. "Jason's scared. He's never been in love before. Never."
"Don't be so sure he is now," Laurie cautioned him.
"Don't be so sure he isn't."
Laurie bit her tongue.
"The other thing is, he's new at it. He thinks he knows what he's doing. He watched our father take care of our mother. We lived up on the mountain, and Father was careful."
"But not careful enough. Your mother died."
Again, Joshua couldn't meet her eyes. "Yeah, well, that wasn't his fault."
"Jason has hinted at some guilt he carries?"
"No, not guilt, just—well, maybe a little when he was younger. He was young and did stupid things like running off when he shouldn't. Trying to be a man when he was just shy of it. You grow up fast on the mountain."
"I can imagine."
"Anyway, one day Jason ran off. He got turned around and was lost most of the day. Mother got worried and stood outside for a long time calling for him, but she got sick and came inside. He showed up a little later and found her ill, in bed. At least, that's what he told Jeremy and me."
"Did he get sick too?" she asked, careful not to tell Joshua the details Jason had shared with her as his secret.
"Yeah. Both of them had pneumonia. Jason recovered. He said she got better for a few days, but then the illness returned, and that was it. She was too weak to fight it again."
Laurie felt a pang in her stomach. Jason had said, his mother had miscarried and died of an illness. It made sense.
"Jason took that on too, for a while, but outgrew it. I don't know how, but somehow, he's let things go. Even when Father died—"
"He's never mentioned how that happened either."
Joshua shook his head. "He wouldn't. It was a logging accident. Brutal."
The way he said it, Laurie knew better than to push for more details. After a pause, Joshua went on.
"Anyway, he learned his lesson. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, that's what Jason always says. I can't remember who said it before him."
"Benjamin Franklin."
"Oh yeah. I knew that."
She brushed imaginary crumbs off her skirt and said, "He's very wise."
"Benjamin Franklin?"
Her lips twitched. "I think both of them."
He grinned at her. "Yeah. Anyway, here in Seattle, you have to protect the ones you love. It's funny because Jason's always been fair. He tried hard to let Jeremy and I grow into men without risking our lives. He did everything he remembered our father doing with him, and sometimes he'd read through Father's journals to learn more. He wanted to do right by us, for our parents' sake. But you're not... it's different with you, you know? At first, I wasn't sure because he could barely look at you."
"I know," Laurie said, remembering those first months.
"But now he's head over heels, even if he won't admit it to himself. I guess he might not even know. And he's making some big mistakes because of it."
Laurie felt like she could barely breathe. This wasn't what she really wanted to talk about, and besides, this was for Jason to say to her, not his brother. "I don't think that's important."
She saw him blanch. "Yeah, you're probably right. But it is a concern because he specifically said not to talk about what you want to talk about, and that's why I can't decide. Do I betray my brother's trust, or do I risk you doing something stupid because you don't think this is serious?"
Laurie bit her lip. He wasn't saying it like Richard would, like she herself was stupid, but more like he was torn. Joshua was right, this was ridiculous, no one speaking their mind, and yet, what a testament to her husband's character. How people loved him and wanted to do right by him. It made her feel proud of him and ashamed that she had caused so much grief in his life, even if she hadn't meant to. "I think we can do this without betraying Jason."
"Good, because I'm already going to get an earful when he gets back."
"Don't worry about that. I—you didn't say anything that wasn't already haunting me."
"It wasn't fair."
No, it wasn't, but she wasn't going to split hairs over it either. "If I guess something, and it's close enough, he couldn't say you told me, right?"
Joshua rolled his eyes, but he didn't object.
She thought for a moment and said, "I sang for Jason's birthday, and a lot of people heard me. Perhaps someone took offense?"
"I don't know," said Joshua miserably.
"Um... well... it's possible I have an unwanted admirer?"
"Possibly."
"In San Francisco, I sang for an opera house, and lots of people heard me. Most people came, listened, and left happy. There were a few that threatened those of us on stage because they didn't like what we sang. Some were jealous, others wanted to be lovers and were angry when we didn't respond in like." She was staring at him, and he stared back, with his eyes half-open, listening.
"There was this man. He loved me and hated me all at the same time. He left roses for me along with a note saying he wanted to strangle me. He ransacked my dressing area, knifed my pillows... all while leaving an expensive gift in my dressing room. The sheriff caught him and locked him up. That sort of thing. Is that what's happening? Has someone threatened me like that because I sang at Jason's birthday party?"
Joshua cleared his throat and stood. "Not quite like that," he said, his voice cracking. "There was no love in the note Jason found. It was... upsetting. Disturbing is the word Jason used. And he didn't think he was supposed to find it. The note, I mean. It was put where you should have come across it first."
Laurie searched her memory. "The morning after Jason told me not to change the chamber pots..." The stricken look on Joshua's face told her she was on the right path. "And this person left a note that was bad enough to scare Jason?"
"It really bothered him to leave you here, but he had to take care of business too. I hope your friend kept your money, or we're really in trouble."
"Doreen has it. She would have kept it for me." She took a few breaths to think things out, and once again took in his appearance. "Are you dressed for church?"
"Yeah."
"But you didn't go."
"Only because you didn't."
"Has someone been watching me the whole time I've been here?" He simply shrugged. Laurie put her hands on her hips. "But I thought everyone said I was safe enough here, in the saloon! Just how bad was that threat?"
"I told you. Disturbing."
Disturbing, and her strong husband was afraid for her. So afraid, that he asked his brothers to watch over her night and day, and Joshua didn't want to go against Jason's wishes, but he would, because...? Because Jason loves me? No. Not that. Their marriage was still so new.
"You're really quiet."
"I don't know what to think. I—I think I understand things are serious. You don't have to betray Jason's trust."
He nodded, looking a little relieved. She noticed him staring at her hands and realized she was pulling at them. She smoothed her skirt. "But I think it would be nice if I could, we could... I mean, could we go to the cabin? Lottie doesn't have a lot for me to do and I thought I might go to pick up my mending."
"Won't it be a little late in the day after we walk back?"
"Well, I didn't say I would do it today... but you won't be here tomorrow, so I won't be able to go without annoying someone outside of the family. Annoying someone inside the family is so much more socially acceptable."
With a chuckle, Joshua stood, picked up his rifle, and said, "Jason was right. You really can't stand sitting still, can you?"
"Well, I'd prefer to bake, but it's not my kitchen."
Joshua laughed and shouldered the gun while gesturing to the door. "After you."
They left the saloon with an amicable peace truce between them, Laurie taking her time to enjoy the fresh air. He talked about the progress the loggers had made since Jason had left. Joshua seemed proud of the workload, and Laurie was sure that Jason would be pleased. He explained the money would help things, but the contracts still needed to be honored for the Bolt brothers to keep their reputation.
He was still explaining the ins and outs of business when they came around the corner close to the cabin. Joshua stopped mid-stride and gripped Laurie's arm. "What is that?" he asked.
Laurie followed his gaze into the sky, but Joshua had already started to turn back to town. "Stay here!" he ordered. "I'll get some help. Stay here!"
Laurie nodded absently as she stared at the billowing clouds of smoke, dark against the greying sky. Another fire?! Not their home too! She began praying when a thought speared her heavenly petition.
The journals. Jason's father's journals.
She sprinted to the cabin. The back of the structure was on fire, possibly the kitchen. She flung open the front door and immediately felt the heat radiating from the inside. Laurie grabbed the curtains from the windows next to her and threw them around her face. The heat was terrible, but she could still see. Smoke billowed out from under the kitchen door, but the flames hadn't penetrated it yet.
She saw the tintypes on the wall of Jason's parents, uncle, and of him with his brothers when they were small—and scooped them into the curtain she unwrapped from her face. Laurie crouched in front of the bookshelf and began throwing the journals first and the last few books on the shelf on the curtain.
There was a crash followed by a roar and she yelped at the sound. There were shouts, and Laurie thought it sounded like someone was calling her. Laurie tied the curtain together like a handkerchief and looked up to realize she had been so intent on her task she hadn't noticed the smoke suffocating the room's light. How had it filled so quickly? She tried to stand but standing upright the heat grew more intense and the smoke thicker. She collapsed back to her knees, her eyes stinging. Laurie crawled along the floor, dragging the curtain with her, and in moments bumped into the table.
Coughing, Laurie tried to orient herself but couldn't quite see where she was going. The smoke was grey and a little less thick in one area. She crawled in that direction when a form gripped her arms and shoved her toward the flames. She tried to fight back, but it felt like her lungs were on fire and the curtain was slipping in her hand.
Confused, she tried to stand again and slipped, her body crashing against a wall. A board fell, the heat burning her legs. Laurie screamed, crawling forward and within seconds someone grabbed her arm and pulled. Her hand was exhausted from gripping the curtain and she almost lost her cargo, but she made it outside with the entire haul intact.
Someone threw her on the ground, and there was stomping around her and hands hitting her. She tried to fight them off, her eyes watering to the point of blindness, and heard the shouts she had been listening to more clearly. Joshua's voice rang out beside her.
"Corky! We need some water over here! Where the hell did McAlister go?!"
"He went to see if he could get inside another way," someone nearby yelled back.
Water flung in her face drenched her hair. She gasped for air and finally screamed when someone ripped the curtain from her hands. Bodies were moving all around her and more confusing shouts. Laurie coughed and coughed and coughed but couldn't seem to get enough air.
"Take her to Lottie!" she heard Joshua yell.
"Josh! We need more help!" Jeremy yelled, sounding far away.
More hands seemed to appear from nowhere and Big Swede' swept her up in his arms. He carried her to where the air was cleaner. It took her a moment to realize that the weeping she was listening to was coming from herself. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and noted a trail of black soot.
She was set down and before Laurie could thank Big Swede, he said to Lottie, "Joshua said to bring her to you. Her clothes are burned, but she's not. She's going to be okay." He turned and ran back toward Jason's burning cabin.
Laurie leaned forward putting her hands on her knees and coughed so much her already painful throat screamed. She saw Candy break apart from a small cluster of women just arriving, and Laurie sucked in a sob.
Lottie threw her arms around her and hugged her tight. "Laurie! Oh, Laurie, honey, you're okay... you're not burned, baby! You're going to be okay. We were so scared!"
Laurie coughed again and gripped Lottie's arm, watching her home burn over the older woman's shoulder. She stood mesmerized with the flames and billowing smoke for a few minutes more, and closed her eyes, letting her head fall onto Lottie's sleeve, whispering, "Our home, Lottie. It was our home."
"I know, but you weren't in it. That's all that matters! Oh, thank God you weren't here!"
As Lottie rocked her back and forth, Laurie felt another hand on her back, Candy's sadness palpable as she said, "Jason will build you another one."
Laurie shook her head against Lottie's shoulder, her voice muffled by the older woman's sleeve and tears, "But what about you and Jeremy?"
When Candy didn't answer, Laurie lifted her head and found Candy crying too. After another coughing spasm, Laurie reached out to her, and together, the three women cried as they watched the roof collapse, and like Laurie's dreams, turned to soot and ash.