LAURIE
When Laurie awoke she sat up in bed clutching the quilt to her chest and blinked in the morning light. Someone had tied the bedroom window curtains back and she could see Joshua and Jeremy combing the area behind the cabin. Curious, she arose to see what they were doing, wrapping the quilt around her shoulders. It slowly slid off the bed, dragging the ground behind her like a royal patchwork robe. Just as she reached the windowsill she heard Jason say, "There you are. I was coming to wake you."
He stood in the doorway, fully dressed, his mass of curls tamed and he looked freshly shaven. He held a plate of eggs, fried ham, and a leftover biscuit out to her.
She crossed the floor and took it from him. "Thank you, but shouldn't I be the one serving you breakfast?"
"Well, you were tired, and I got up early. I'm afraid I didn't sleep too well."
"You didn't?"
He shook his head, and before she could ask why he said, "Ah, Laurie... have you met someone I haven't introduced you to?"
Laurie inhaled deeply. The breakfast smelled divine, and her stomach rumbled. "No," she said, shifting and hugging the quilt closer. She put the plate on the nightstand. "I had planned on visiting the mercantile today as you asked me to. Why? Did you want me to do something else?"
He seemed about to say something more, and sucked in his breath, his eyes drifting to the window. "Lottie will be here later this morning," he said, as he walked over to release the curtains to hang in place. "I asked her to come over for a short visit."
Lottie? The saloon owner. Laurie felt a headache coming on and sighed. He eyed her questioningly, and feeling a little guilty she smoothed her frown and said, "I guess I better get changed then."
"Oh," he said, and when he didn't move, she noticed he had one fist pressed against the palm of his other hand and was thumping it with his fingers. Another tell she needed to learn. The pitter-patter of rain began overhead, and after yesterday's conversation, she tried not to notice by focusing on his increasing awkwardness instead.
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her brow crinkling.
"Wrong?" he echoed. "Oh no, nothing wrong." Jason licked his lips quickly and glanced at her cooling breakfast. "I, uh... I'm sorry about dinner last night. I forgot."
"I imagine it's difficult to change how you live your life when everything else in it except me is normal."
"You're a very understanding wife."
Laurie nodded. He had said it with an air of suspicion, as though he suspected her of lying. She wasn't. She knew it was difficult for him. That didn't stop her from feeling disappointed or feeling like she was failing to attract him. If she could just shake the melancholy, they might have a better chance of bonding.
He glanced around the room, his eyes once again lingering on the window. "Well, I'll leave you to it then." He exited as quickly as he had appeared, shutting the door behind him.
Laurie stared after him, thinking of how odd he could behave. She supposed it might be symptomatic of forced marriage. There had been nothing awkward about Sherman, but then, he had known what he was getting since Richard and the nuns had arranged their union. She had even met him twice before their wedding. A week ago she hadn't thought there would be much of a difference, but now the distinction between the two types of marriages was plain.
She mentally brushed it aside, took a bite of the biscuit, and picked through her clothes while she chewed. She chose her pink morning dress and slipped out of her nightgown to put on a fresh chemise over her drawers. After tying her corset and bustle in place, she slipped into a petticoat and underskirt. At last, she shimmied her way into the dress and pinned a cream-colored rosette to the bottom of her round neckline.
It was daring for daytime wear, and she never would have gotten away with it as Sherman's lady of the house. Ladies usually wore high collars during the day hours, but living as a popular singer in San Francisco had given her a preference for wearing what she liked when she liked to wear it without censure. Or at least, any she cared about. Since her husband and his brothers weren't particularly fashion conscious, she hoped no one else in Seattle would care either. After she finished her attire with a matching sash around her waist, Laurie gazed at her reflection, admiring the bell sleeves with lace dripping off her elbows in the mirror that Jason had given her.
Dressing up gave her mood an unexpected boost. Jason was probably right. Perhaps it was time to acquaint herself with Seattle. She couldn't feel annoyed with him for inviting a friend to visit, although she wished he would have talked to her first. But then, she would have rejected the idea so, she couldn't fault him for that either. A quick pinch of her cheeks and a gentle bite of her lips took care of the paleness in her complexion although there wasn't much she could do about her eyes. She would just have to stop crying.
The next hour was a flurry of activity for Laurie. She finished her breakfast, stoked the fire hoping to banish the chill in the air, and completed her toilette by quickly pinning her hair up. Not quite satisfied with her appearance, she added a pair of cream-colored ear bobs that swung when she walked. She washed the breakfast dishes, made all the beds, swept the floor, and she had just finished dusting the mantel when someone knocked.
"Coming!" Laurie called out. She put away her apron and straightened a chair at the table while hurrying to the door. With a glance around the room to make sure nothing was out of place, she opened it to see four women standing on the porch. She was happy to note the pitter-patter of the rain had softened into the form of a drizzle, and none of the women even carried an umbrella.
"Hello," said a redhead with a petal-soft voice, blue eyes, and a friendly smile. "I'm Candy Pruitt. We're going to be sisters someday." She was taller than Laurie and wore a pink blouse with a brown skirt and black gloves.
So, this is Jeremy's Candy. Laurie smiled back at her and gave a semi-curtsy. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Laurie." Her eyes drifted over the three other women who stood beside Candy. Two of the women were blonde. One was middle-aged and had her hair cut short, a look Laurie had never seen before, but it suited the woman. She held a small, covered tin pail and beamed like a proud mother. The second blonde was pretty but looked cross with her. The last woman was a brunette with her lips pursed in prudish contemplation.
"This is Carlotta Hatfield," continued Candy, pointing to the older woman.
"Call me Lottie," she said and winked at Laurie. Recognizing the name, Laurie's smile deepened.
"And this is Hannah Baird who is... um, an old friend of Jason's," said Candy, pointing to the second blonde. The brunette cleared her throat. "And that's Biddie. Biddie Cloom."
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance," said Laurie, hoping her surprise over her extra guests didn't show. "Please come inside."
Hannah's smile deepened revealing a dimple, and she stepped past Laurie into the cabin, followed by the others. She looked around the room and with a sugary sweet voice said, "I see you haven't redecorated the place."
Laurie smiled back. "I haven't wanted to yet. My husband says he's making preparations for a new cabin, and I thought I would wait to..." Her voice trailed and she straightened, releasing the agitated grip she had on her one hand to let them both fall to her sides. "Honestly? I've given little thought about changing anything."
"Well, I think it's only natural that you haven't!" Lottie said, shooting Hannah a look that Laurie could tell meant something private. "It's all so new! It takes time to decide how you want a home to look and feel. That's a beautiful dress, Laurie," she added, eyeballing Laurie's wardrobe choice. "It looks like one of the newer styles Clancey was telling me he saw in San Francisco."
"Thank you. Yes, it is," said Laurie, trying to keep up with the change in conversation. She made a mental note to ask Jason who Clancey was. "I bought it a few months ago." Her eyes wandered back to Hannah. She was beautiful, Laurie decided, with her blonde hair curled in perfect ringlets and her long lashes dark against her milk-white skin. She wore a spring green dress trimmed with eyelet lace. Shiny brass buttons and a large cameo pinned to the top of her high collar completing her look: beautiful, but stiff and unyielding. Oddly, she reminded Laurie of Kenna, though they looked nothing alike. "It's called a morning dress."
"A morning dress? I thought you were wearing a dinner dress at the wrong time of day," said Hannah with a hint of sarcasm. "If that's your idea of a morning neckline, it's no wonder poor Jason found you so captivating."
Laurie gestured for her guests to be seated as she pulled two chairs away from the table for herself and Biddie. While helping them get situated, she tried to reason out Hannah's words. The neckline was lower than what her visitors were wearing, except Lottie's green calico dress trimmed in gold braid, but wasn't indecent either. Not by her peers' standards in San Francisco. Perhaps she should have asked Jason about fashion in Seattle, although she still doubted he would know.
"Pfft," said Lottie, rolling her eyes toward Hannah as Laurie sat down. "I can tell French fashion when I see it. Don't worry, Laurie, you're bringing a new level of culture to Seattle."
"Thank you," said Laurie, with a nervous glance at Hannah who had sat in Jason's favorite chair next to her. "I thought since my husband didn't seem to care about clothes that no one else in this part of the country would either. I can see I was mistaken."
"That's because the brides brought a lot of culture to Seattle too," said Hannah with a sniff.
"Yes we did," said Biddie, "You should have seen Seattle when we got here! Oh my, what a mess! But I've never known anyone who wore French clothes before. We look at them in Ben's catalogs in the store, you know, but no one has ever actually bought anything."
"Biddie," said Candy, trying to get her attention.
"But seeing it on you, I think the French look is to die for. Maybe I should go over to Ben's and make a splurge. I just love all that lace!" Biddie giggled.
"But a hat is a nice way to start," said Laurie carefully, not sure what a splurge meant to the younger woman. There were times in Laurie's life a splurge had meant getting enough to eat so her stomach didn't cramp during the night. "It will dress up anything. So you can take your time choosing."
"Oh true, so very true," said Biddie, looking at Candy. "Sometimes the choosing is more fun than the getting. Not just clothes, I mean, but with the men."
Candy looked as amused as Laurie felt. She shook her head at Biddie and smiled at Laurie, "Don't let Jason fool you. He's much more interested in women's things than he admits. He even tried to help educate a woman on being a lady."
Laurie couldn't believe her. She couldn't be talking about the same man who slept in his day clothes when he came home late at night.
"Are you talking about Holly Houston?" asked Hannah, and when Candy nodded she said, "I don't know that it was so much education as pity."
"Jason helped a lady trapper who needed help," Lottie said at Laurie's questioning glance. "He bought her a dress, helped her learn how to walk like a lady, and what things she should say to the judge. She had a custody hearing about some children in her care." She chuckled. "He even taught her how to drink tea with her pinky up."
"Tea?!" The women around Laurie all laughed at her disbelief, except Hannah, whose smile was icy. Laurie quickly amended, "It's just he doesn't seem to be the tea-drinking sort. I mean, like today. He didn't tell me you were coming until this morning, so there wasn't any time to make refreshments."
"Oh, honey, no one expected that," said Lottie, her eyes opening wide. "Last night Jason said he thought you might be ready for some company, just not all of Seattle at once. So we thought maybe you'd like to start with a handful of people today and grow your acquaintances from there."
Laurie blinked her surprise, and Candy nodded, her voice solemn as she said, "It's true. He's trying hard to make sure you're not overwhelmed."
"Candy, if he was worried about that, he wouldn't be describing her as the next Helen of Troy. He had half the saloon listening to him last night."
Candy giggled at Lottie, with Biddie joining her. Laurie felt her cheeks flame and didn't dare look at Hannah.
"Oh my, yes," said Biddie. "All of Seattle is just dying to meet you!"
Laurie thought back to Jason's admittance that he had invited one person over and had a feeling someone had made allowances. Looking at Lottie's half-closed eyes as she waited for Laurie's response, she had a good idea who. "That was very thoughtful of him," she said aloud.
"Oh, you'll find Jason is full of thoughtfulness," Hannah said, picking an imaginary piece of lint off her sleeve. "He always has a woman's best interests at heart."
"Maybe not all women," Lottie said, diplomatically cooling Hannah's sarcastic tone. She opened her eyes wide and through the side of her mouth said, "But a wife has certain privileges."
"Yes, well. We can't all be Jason's object of desire, now can we?" said Hannah, her eyes sliding over Laurie as if sizing her up. "You're very pretty, but your French fashion looks expensive. Is that what charmed Jason so quickly? Was it your money to help his business? Sometimes the Bolts get into trouble, you know." Hannah touched Jason's favorite chair with a caress, running her fingers over the black leather as if she were remembering.
Laurie's body froze. She hadn't told Jason about the sizable sum in San Francisco, nor did she want to. She wasn't ready to give up her contingency plan. Not until she was sure what kind of future she had with Jason. Not until she could trust him.
"My brother neglected to pay my husband a dowry if that's what you're asking."
"A dowry? What an old-fashioned idea!" Hannah exclaimed.
"Well, what did you mean?" Biddie asked Hannah, her face scrunched in a confused look that made Laurie feel relieved she wasn't the only one that didn't understand.
"I'm just saying Jason isn't the sort to jump into marriage, so I'm trying to understand how she came to be here."
"She's here because Jason married her," said Candy.
Laurie knew it was time to bite her tongue, but Hannah's tone grated on her nerves. She wanted to say something curt, but propriety demanded civility no matter what. Instead, put her hand on top of Hannah's and when the girl met her eyes, she took a stab at what might be the younger woman's problem. "What is my husband to you?" Laurie asked, her voice soft. "You seem determined to be disagreeable, and yet we've only just met. Was he your beau?"
Hannah snatched her hand away.
"Not technically," Lottie said with a withering glance at Hannah. The woman's eyes dropped to her feet. "Hannah's always been just a friend, and she was doing what friends do - making sure his bride is worthy."
"I see," said Laurie, settling her eyes on Hannah again while her heart thudded in her throat. How would Jason want her to play it? Cool and aloof? Or warm and disarming? She wasn't sure she could pull off either. If only she knew him better! One thing was obvious, whatever Jason's feelings were, Hannah wasn't over him. "I appreciate your concern for his welfare," she said stiffly. "Our marriage was rather sudden."
"Yes, it was," Lottie said, her enormous eyes wide and sympathetic. "But he seems happy enough now."
Did he? Laurie wasn't sure Lottie was telling her the truth, but she appreciated it all the same. She gave Lottie a gracious smile. "Thank you."
"Think nothing of it. Well, I have a saloon to run, and Hannah, I believe you said you could only stay a minute."
Hannah rose from her seat. "That's right. I came to wish you well, but I have important things to attend to."
Wish me off a cliff is more like it. Laurie's smile stayed tight as she moved to open the door for them. "It was a pleasure to meet you both."
Hannah's sugary smile said goodbye while she sailed out the door. She paused at the steps. "I look forward to getting to know you more," she said, oozing sweetness like an overflowing crock of honey.
"Me too," said Laurie.
Hannah sashayed down the steps and scooted quickly through the grey drizzle. Lottie watched Hannah retreat and turned to smile at Laurie. The older woman's smile was more genuine than Hannah's had been, and she had admiration in her eyes. In a startling display, she embraced Laurie in a tight squeeze. "Don't let her bother you. She needed to see who Jason chose, and now she knows. I meant what I said. He thinks highly of you."
"And if anyone can tell you that, it's Lottie," Candy said beside Laurie. "The men tell her all their secrets."
"That would come in handy," Laurie said thoughtfully, and the women chuckled. On impulse, she continued, "I hope to make Jason happy in the long run."
"Oh honey, trust me. You've got all the assets Jason needs." Before Laurie could react to such a shocking statement, she continued, "Oh! I almost forgot! This is for you. I gave the same thing to all the brides in Seattle when they first came to New Bedford, and since you're Jason's hundred and first bride, I figured I should use the same welcoming gift. Tradition, you know."
"Jason's last bride," said Candy behind Laurie.
Biddie giggled beside her, "That's right. Jason won't be bringing any more brides to Seattle."
"I hope not," said Laurie thinking of the jealous girl that had just left, earning herself more giggles from Biddie.
Lottie, holding the pail out to Laurie, smiled knowingly. She held onto it when Laurie took hold of the handle. "I'm looking forward to watching your love story unfold," she said in a low voice. "Jason waited a long time for this, which means he's as stubborn as they come, and I can tell you're not going down without a fight. Your love story is going to be spectacular and I want a front-row seat." She let go of the pail and flounced out the door. "I would stay longer, but I was just the ticket to get in the door. Come chat with me sometime. I'll have tea."
"Tea, Lottie?" Candy asked, teasing.
"Candy, I said I'd make it, not drink it."
Dumbstruck, Laurie nodded her consent and closed the door after Lottie continued on her way. She stood just inside the cabin, not moving for a full second before opening the pail in her hand. Candy and Biddie giggled when she snapped it shut and wrinkled her nose, the smell wafting over her.
"Beer?!"
"Oh, I know!" Candy said, waving her hand in front of her face as if to banish the smell in front of her nose. "She visited us on the boat when we first came to Seattle and offered it as a welcoming gift. It's a joke between all the brides now."
"Tradition," Laurie said, echoing Lottie's sentiment, and put it aside on the table. "Does Jason drink beer? I've only ever seen him drink whiskey."
Candy and Biddie stood with their mouths open and burst out laughing together.
"Yes, Laurie. He drinks beer," said Candy, holding her midsection as she tried to calm herself.
"I'm sorry, but it's so funny!" Biddie said, still laughing. "Jason will drink anything with alcohol, so long as it's got alcohol." She and Candy lost themselves to another fit of giggles.
"Well then, I'm sure my husband will appreciate this with his supper," said Laurie with a slight chuckle. She had wondered just how hard of a drinker Jason was. Now she didn't have to ask. Her eyes landed on the forgotten coffeepot on the stove and gestured for the girls to sit at the table. She could at least serve some coffee. She began filling cups.
"Well, the boys are Scottish you know," Biddie told her as they sat down. "That's probably why they drink so much."
Laurie set Biddie's cup down in front of her and smiled appreciatively. She wore a high-collared, blue gingham dress and had fastened her curled hair back with a blue ribbon, the color a striking contrast from her brown eyes. "No, I didn't know that."
Candy and Biddie exchanged a surprised look. "Really?" Candy asked, motioning to the tintypes on the mantle. "But they're so proud of their heritage."
Laurie's mind raced over the past week while she gazed at the tintypes. Had Jason ever implied that they shared the same ancestry? She shook her head and sat down, handing Candy a cup of coffee. "I don't think so, but then, almost three weeks ago I'd never heard of Jason Bolt."
"I know," said Biddie with an exaggerated sigh. "That's so romantic."
"Biddie," Candy said, a warning in her voice.
"Well Candy, I can't help but think that it is. And all the girls at the dormitory will ask when we go home what Laurie says it was it like, seeing Jason for the first time. I just bet it was love at first sight!"
Laurie bit her lip. She had expected these kinds of questions, but surely Jason wouldn't want her talking about her indecency in his hotel room. "I suppose you might tell them the first time I saw him... he surprised me."
"Surprised? How so?" Candy asked, her eyes shining.
Laurie took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and when she opened them, committed herself to as much of the truth as she could tell. "I thought I was alone," she said carefully. "In a room. And it startled me to see him standing there. His back was to me."
"Oh my, I'm getting goose-pimples!" Biddie said, giggling.
You and me both, Laurie wanted to say. Instead, she nodded and continued. "He was very... tall. And it was dark... And, um, and when he lit the lamp he smiled at me... he seemed very kind, and..."
"And you fell for him instantly!" Biddie said. "Oh my! You just have to come to Lottie's to help us decorate for the party she's throwing this weekend! Jason said—"
"Biddie! Let her finish."
"Oh, well, I know you don't want to have to repeat yourself. This way you can come to chat with all of us at one time. It'll be just us girls, and you can tell us all about Jason romancing you. Oh goodness, it'll be ever so fun!"
Candy shook her head at her friend and turned to Laurie. "Jason told Lottie that you needed to take it slow. It's okay if you don't want to be in a room full of girls. We all understand. It was quite a shock when we first came too. It took us months to get used to Seattle, and when it gets gloomy, I still have to remind myself why I stayed."
"Why did you stay?"
"Because I fell in love with Jeremy, and this is his home."
Laurie nodded and noticed Biddie watching her friend with affection. "What about you, Biddie? Is there a Jeremy in your life?"
Biddie opened her mouth and closed it again, her lips pinched together as though she wanted to force the words to stay inside. She blinked several times and shook her head before she let out a little gasp. Laurie hadn't realized Biddie was holding her breath.
"No, no, there's no one. Not really."
"She and Corky used to see each other a lot, but lately he hasn't been coming around much."
Laurie looked sympathetically at Biddie. "I apologize. I didn't mean to say something upsetting."
"Oh, well, you didn't say anything bad," said Biddie with a vigorous shake to her head. "Why, there's always plenty of fish in the sea."
"There are?" asked Candy, her eyes wide.
"Why, sure there are!"
"But you said..."
Biddie and Candy continued to argue, but Laurie found it hard to follow the argument since she didn't know the people the names went to. Something about how Candy thought Biddie was pining away for a man named Corky, and Biddie saying she hadn't thought about Corky in some time, and someone named Sally could have him... their voices faded into the background as multiple heavy footsteps caught Laurie's attention. She could see the back of Jason's head through the window talking to several men. Their faces were grim, and a burst of foreboding made her shiver.
"Laurie?" said Candy, bringing Laurie's attention back to her guests.
"I... um... I'm sorry. Jason is outside, and I lost track of the conversation."
Biddie elbowed Candy and giggled, and Candy gave her a smile that suggested exactly what her suppositions were. Laurie blushed and gave her full attention to the women. "What were we talking about?"
"You haven't said if you'll help us decorate for the party," said Biddie. "Oh, do say yes! Some of the other girls will be there, and this way you won't feel like there are so many strangers all at once. You know, so it won't feel overwhelming." She looked pointedly at Candy, who rolled her eyes.
"It's true, Laurie," Candy said with a nervous chuckle. "Jason's had a lot to do with building Seattle up, and a lot of are beside themselves with excitement about meeting Jason's bride."
"Well, the men are just plain curious," said Biddle. "Until last night, some of them over at the saloon were taking bets on whether Jason married a blonde or a brunette."
"Until last night?" asked Laurie, not sure how she felt about her hair color being a source of gambling, but then, at Maguire's Opera House she had experienced a similar discomfort when she had watched two men bet to see who could get more of Kenna's attention. Unfortunately for Laurie, neither of them had won.
"Oh, Lottie wasn't joking about that. Jason was quite descriptive talking to her and Aaron last night," said Biddie, nodding solemnly. "A lot of the men overheard. So everyone already knows you have blonde hair and green eyes and..."
"And so on. Biddie, Laurie already knows what she looks like." Between Lottie's hints and Candy's warning tone, Laurie wondering just how descriptive Jason had been.
"Oh, well. So what do you say? Will you come? The party is on Saturday so we'll be sprucing up the saloon Friday afternoon."
Laurie bit her lip. It sounded more than what she could handle at the moment, but Jason had been clear on how he felt about her continuing to sequester herself in the cabin, and it was the perfect solution. "Well, if my husband doesn't mind," she said, with hesitancy, "I suppose it would be all right."
Biddie let out a little squeal, and Candy smiled with amusement at her friend while she continued, "Oh! I just can't wait! Lottie got some new paper streamers, and Susie Ecklebee said she'd bring her prized chocolate cake—"
Laurie's eyes drifted to the window again. The number of men on the porch had thinned out, and Jason was still widely gesturing at Jeremy who stood next to Swede and a very short logger. Candy and Biddie both giggled, and Laurie pulled her eyes back to her new friends. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. Several men keep walking around the porch, Jason included. Next time I'll be sure to have the blankets down over the windows. It's a little distracting."
"Oh no, not at all," Biddie told her, squashing her lips together and giving Candy another pointed look. The three of them stared through the window for a moment, watching the men come in and out of eyesight.
"I wonder what they're doing," said Candy.
Laurie shook her head. She hadn't seen this many people since Jason had brought her to Seattle. "I don't know, but I keep seeing Jason out there."
"Oh my goodness, you have it bad, don't you?" asked Biddie. Jason opened the door just as Biddie added, "It really was love at first sight. I can tell!"
Jeremy had followed Jason inside and stood just inside the door with him. Jason shook his head and said with a wink at Laurie, "Not quite, Biddie. But it didn't take a lot of convincing."
Candy scoffed at him. "Oh, I bet it took more than you wanted."
"Of course."
Laurie watched their exchange with a twinge of remorse. It was lovely to see people relaxed and friendly with each other. It was something she couldn't hope to attain, but still desperately wanted.
"Uh, Candy, could I see you and Biddie outside, please?" said Jeremy.
Laurie met Jason's eyes with a question, but he gave her no clue of what was going on.
"Jeremy!" said Candy, not budging. "We just got here and I..."
"Please?" Jeremy said, with a nod toward Jason.
"Oh." Candy gave Laurie a sympathetic pat on her hand, and Laurie rose with her two guests. "I'll be back as soon as I can," she told Laurie in a quiet voice.
"Oh yes, well, this will only take a minute," said Biddie, but scuttered toward the door when she saw Jason's face. "Or longer. We'll come back... soon."
"That's fine, Biddie. Thank you very much," said Jason, corralling the two women out the door. After he shut it he leaned against the door with one hand and with a slight shake of his head said, "Sometimes that woman..."
He didn't finish his sentence, but Laurie smiled anyway. She could tell he liked her, and that made her happy. Both women seemed friendly, and she would like to get to know them better. He sat next to her and took her hand in his. He caressed it for a moment before speaking again. "I need to talk to you, and it's serious."
"Did I—"
"No, you didn't do anything wrong," he answered before she could ask. "I don't want to alarm you, but Seattle is a young town. That means we don't have a sheriff here. The circuit judge comes through about once a month if we're lucky, and in an emergency, the territorial marshal will make an appearance. A town like Seattle, well, it's a dream in the making. Not like San Francisco."
"Or Philadelphia," Laurie offered, unable to keep the dryness out of her voice. "Still, small towns have a charm of their own."
Jason raised his eyebrows. "Yes, they do, and they have their problems too. Let me ask you a question. When you retire for the night..." He shifted his weight in the chair and pressed his lips together, looking like he had just eaten something distasteful. "When you retire for the night, do you close the window when you prepare for bed, or after?"
Laurie's heart pounded. Her mind raced over the past few days, unable to answer the question. Had she? "I can't remember. I think before I undress if that's what you're asking."
"The reason I'm asking is that some boys were, uh, well, they were trying to see you. You know. See you."
Laurie paled. She knew exactly what he meant. "If I didn't close the curtains, it wasn't on purpose. I promise I'll be more careful."
"That's fine," he said, patting her hand. "A woman has a right to dress in privacy, and it's my job to see that you're comfortably taken care of. All I ask is that you try to be careful."
"I understand."
"Now another question. I already asked you if you had met anyone, and since you haven't, I thought of something else. Can you think of anyone, a man, that would be interested in you? Maybe someone you met on the boat or one of your brother's deputies sent to watch us? Ah, someone that wouldn't want to be seen?"
"Didn't want to be seen?"
"Like hiding his face with something so as not to be recognized."
"What kind of something? I wouldn't put it past Richard, but normally he wouldn't hide anything. I don't know about his men."
"Well, one boy suggested maybe a mask. Or a bandanna. It's hard to say."
Laurie stiffened. Did this mean he was back? He couldn't know where she ended up, could he? How could he have followed her? But if someone else saw him, didn't that mean she had proof he was real this time? She slowly shook her head, choked into silence by the piercing gaze Jason was using on her.
"Are you sure? Laurie, if someone is—"
"No," she whispered, feeling her bones rattle. "It's just that masks scare me. Why?"
"Last night they ran across a man wandering around the cabin. Both boys thought they saw something hiding his face, but after talking it over with the town council, we think the moonlight might have been playing tricks on them. Makes more sense, you know? Still, I needed to be sure. I'm sorry if I frightened you."
"I'm not frightened like you mean. Sometimes people wear masks to do terrible things." She lifted her eyes from the floor and with pleading in her voice she said, "It usually means they're up to no good. I don't like masks, because you can't see the cruelty that might be behind it. To answer your question, I haven't met anyone since you brought me here other than your brothers, your foreman, and the women that came today."
"Well, until we find out for sure, I'd feel better if you were around people more. Did you like your visit this morning?"
"Um..."
He frowned. "Was something wrong?"
She shook her head, looking anywhere but in his eyes. "No, it's just..." She dug her nails into her hand, determined to make herself say it. "I enjoyed the visit, but I met a woman named Hannah... Beard, I think her last name was?"
"Baird." Jason's tone was harsh, and the hard line his usually soft mouth made caused her stomach to flutter.
"Yes. That was it. She's beautiful."
"She's also very determined. Are you all right?"
Their eyes met, and he held her gaze for a few breaths. "I'm fine, but it was clear she still has feelings for you." Jason pursed his lips and looked away. Feeling something more needed to be said she continued, "You had a life before Richard forced us into... this. I expected some things like old flames and vices... If you still have feelings for her, you can tell me."
"Whatever I felt for Hannah is gone."
"You can't turn off feelings like that."
"Maybe not. But I don't think about them anymore." He leaned forward and kissed her with a soft brushing of his lips against her cheek and got up from the table, letting her hand go. "You needn't worry about my loyalty. I took those vows seriously." He tilted his head to the side, hands on his hips, still quietly observing her. "At some point, I'll corner Hannah and talk with her. She's been avoiding me, but she'll come around. In the meantime, I'll ask Candy to help keep some distance between the two of you. Is that all right?"
"Yes," she whispered.
"Good." He raised his eyes to study the clock. "Almost lunchtime," he said, as if to himself. He walked to the door and opened it, looking back at her. "I wish I had more time to spend with you, but I have to get moving on the contract I made in Tacoma so my brothers and I will probably spend the night at camp. I'll send Candy back to take you to the mercantile if you like."
The mercantile. Laurie had forgotten about that. "I know I said I'd go today, but I have a headache. Could I go another day?"
His lips curled into a sad smile that she was becoming all too familiar with. "Whenever you feel better," he said and left her alone.
She touched her cheek where he had kissed her. It was still warm.
JASON
Jason stormed out of the dormitory and strode up the mountain. It's been what? Two weeks? Three? Three weeks since Laurie had turned his life upside down, and still, Hannah refused to see him. Never mind, she had invited herself along with Candy, Lottie, and Biddie to upset his wife a few days ago. Well, that suited him just fine. A man tried to make a thing right, but if a woman was unwilling to let him then he couldn't be blamed for it, now could he? And that was all he wanted, wasn't it? Making it right?
He snorted at himself. Taking Laurie to bed so quickly had been a mistake. He hadn't intended to. Not until they knew each other better. Blast Lottie and her meddling. All that talk of starting a marriage on the right foot and how important it was to a woman to satisfy her man and all. And Laurie had seemed willing, just like Lottie said she would be. Still, he hadn't been sure until he'd seen her rise out of that tub... that little lift to the sides of her lips when he'd remembered to keep his eyes on her face? "I've been married before. I know what a man needs." She knew exactly what she had done to him, and that made her even more interesting. He hadn't worried too much after that sensuous display since she was an experienced woman, allowing himself to relax and enjoy the evening. That night he would have sworn she was enjoying it too, though whether from his ministrations or all the wine she drank was a toss-up. He couldn't undo it, even if he wanted to.
Yet efforts to forward their relationship snagged on that night. Laurie barely met his eyes every morning when she came out of the bedroom. It was like an awkward chasm steadily grew between them every day. His brothers ran out of the cabin before either he or Laurie were up, leaving him with a woman who thought staring into a fire made for pleasant company. Lottie and Candy's visit had helped a little, but she was already slipping again. So help him, this would not go on. He'd have to have another talk with her. Life shouldn't be so hard in marriage, not if they wanted any kind of happiness in life. All right, so he was pushing things, pushing her. Might as well make his expectations clear from the start.
At least the peeping Tom seemed to have had enough sense to leave the area. There had been no sign of him since that night, and the citizens of Seattle were calming down. Some had even accused Christopher and Brodie of making the whole story up, but Jason didn't think so. Between Christopher's confession and all the punishments Candy had heaped upon the boy's shoulders, Jason couldn't believe the boys were lying. Over the past few days, Laurie's nightmares seemed to have tapered off, but she still whimpered in her sleep. Blast her brother and blast her late husband too. If she was reliving memories, it was no wonder she apologized for everything. The man must have been a lunatic.
Jason continued to tear up the mountainside toward the logging camp. His feet stomped along the dirt road, an occasional stalk of grass slapping against his moccasin boots. Typically, his arms swung slightly when he walked, but in his agitated state, they swung with ferocity. He had lost any temptation to enjoy the view of the river below or the scent of the pines. The rains had receded to a typical Seattle drizzle for most of the week, and while nature normally demanded his appreciation, this year he couldn't have cared less. All the improved weather meant to him right now was that there was work to be done.
His men had thought he was daft enough to stay home with Laurie as a newlywed every night. He was not a lovesick pup like Billy Sawdust. He was not infatuated nor besotted with his wife like Swede who went home every night. He was a pragmatic, self-made, thinking man with a company to run and a cabin to build. The pranks of women's underthings pinned to the front of his tent or the offers of a night in Port Angeles were getting old. It seemed no matter how much he blustered and threatened, it only fanned his men's appetites for more.
Not to mention the shoddy work they dished out. Within one week the flume had needed to be shored up twice. It felt like every time he had his back turned something else was keeping him from the head start he'd worked so hard to give them. If it hadn't been for the rains, he might have suspected sabotage. Maybe they needed to replace an entire section. Now that would be the perfect end to a terrible month, wouldn't it? He didn't want to know what else could go wrong.
He trudged up the side of the mountain and peaked over the upper ridge to watch from above. Sam and McGee were working well together, Swede and Johnson seemed to keep the logs flowing on the flume. So why are we so far off schedule? His eyes scanned down the mountainside to where Jeremy was supposed to be with a smaller crew. Another treetop fell as he watched another one of his loggers, Canada, quickly scoot down the remaining trunk.
Jason shook his head. There wasn't any sense to this at all. Everything seemed in order, his loggers hard at work regardless of the weather. Well, except Abercrombie. Where were they? He started back down the mountain at a rapid clip and skidded to a stop, rock and dirt rolling past his boots. He waited a few seconds and heard another morose cry from an animal somewhere to the east of him. He changed his direction to plunge through the brush, and within moments pulled himself short of trampling a man pulling along a mule. "Begging your pardon," said Jason while wiping his brow. "I almost didn't see you."
"Not a problem," said the man. "I get that a lot."
He was smaller than Jason, but his shoulders showed he was built for hard labor. He wore a shabby tan cloak over clothes that looked as if he had lived in them far too long between washings. The dark hair on his head matched the dark brown eyes that peered at him in a friendly fashion. He seemed cordial enough, but what made Jason inwardly jump was the condition of his neck. The lingering effects of fire against a person's skin were always tragic, but this man's scars looked like they had been burned multiple times, melding strands of flesh into ropes of skin.
"Can I help you?" Jason asked, noting the strong southern accent.
"I was on my way to the Bolt logging camp. I heard in Tacoma there might be some openings, and as you can see," the man said motioning to his attire, "it's been a long while since I had steady work."
"I'm Jason Bolt," Jason told him, pointing to his chest. "But before we talk about a job, let's talk about those scars. Firebugs aren't exactly popular around here."
The man scoffed. "Don't care to be hanged, neither. I got these back in the war."
Jason folded his arms and said, "Oh? That's too bad. What side were you on?"
"Does it matter?"
Jason pressed his lips together before answering, "No, not particularly. Your accent suggests you were south of the Mason-Dixon Line. I'm just making conversation."
The man-sized Jason up, and in the next breath, he said, "I fought for my home in the South. But it wasn't a Yank that set me ablaze. It was my worthless whore of a wife."
"I see. Uh, where is your wife?"
"She left me," was the terse reply. "One man wasn't enough for her. She joined some floozies to perform her wares for other men."
"Oh," Jason said, straightening. "I'm sorry."
The man rubbed his nose and waved Jason's apology off. "It's been a long time since. Good riddance." He spat on a rock. "Anyhow, about the job?"
Jason mulled the prospect over. He'd met more than one bitter man lamenting about a loose woman in an unfortunate marriage. It didn't mean he couldn't put in a good day's worth of work. "Uh, do you have any references?"
The man shook his head. "None out here. Thought I'd try my luck prospecting after the mess the carpetbaggers made."
A story Jason had heard too often. "There's not any gold in these parts."
The man's mouth twisted into a cruel smile. "Yeah, I figured that out."
Jason pulled at his chin while thinking. A man had to be given a chance. They would just have to watch him for a while. "Well, what sort of work do you do?"
"Whatever task you put me on. I can drive a wagon, swing an ax, or grease a flume as well as any man, I reckon. I'm not picky, and I don't quit. I also don't sleep on the job."
"I don't get your meaning, sir."
The man gave him a shrewd smile. "I supposed that group of men taking a nap in the forest about half-a-mile back belonged to your camp. One had a whiskey bottle nearby, which would explain why they didn't hear me or the mule."
"What did they look like?" Jason asked, his voice growing tight.
"One had black hair and wore a grey and blue checkered shirt. Another red hair, red beard..."
"Yeah, I know who they are. Mister... ah, I didn't catch the name."
"John McAllister."
"Well, Mr. McAllister, you're in luck. Seems a few positions just opened up. My camp is that way," said Jason, pointing further down the trail McAllister had been walking along. "Ask for my brothers, Josh or Jeremy. They'll sign you on. You'll have to forgive me," he said, turning his attention toward the way the other man had just come. "But it seems I have some firing to do." He took a glove off and offered the scarred man his hand.
McAllister shook it heartily with a genuine smile. "Thank you, Mr. Bolt. It'll be a pleasure to work for you."
"You're welcome."
Jason tore down the trail, watching for any sound of snoring. Abercrombie and his buddies had slept on the job for the last time.
JASON
Jason entered Seattle in a foul mood. Abercrombie had given quite a stink, but a few dollars of severance pay had sent him and his buddies on their way. Frustrated, angry, and his earlier musings still plaguing his mind, Jason had decided to check on Laurie and see how she was getting along. He approached the cabin and noticed the lack of smoke coming from the chimney before the morning's conversation replayed in his mind.
"I know we just met," Laurie had told him, speaking of Biddie while removing Jason's breakfast plate from the table. "But when she asked me to come help, I felt like I should say yes."
"She kept talking until you gave in, huh?" He stood, and chuckled as he walked to the door. "She's Candy's best friend. She can be a bit much at first, but you'll learn to work around her. I suspect all of you will become the best of friends."
Jason shook his head. His wife was probably drowning in ribbons and giggles about now. He quickened his pace toward the saloon. Once inside, he cast his eyes around, surprised how empty it was with just a handful of regulars and Biddie talking in hushed tones with Jeremy. He made his way to the bar and poured himself a glass before facing Biddie and his brother. Jeremy was sitting in front of her, his hands tied up in paper streamers. Jason's slow smile as he leaned against the mahogany wood did nothing to extinguish the blush on Jeremy's cheeks.
"Not one, one word, Jason. Not one word."
Jason put his hand to his chest the way women did when they were astonished. "Why Jeremy, I wouldn't think of it."
"Uh-huh, sure," said Jeremy, and Biddie let loose a giggle.
Jason grinned back. "Uh, where is everybody?"
"Oh, well, Hannah made a big fuss over getting something in her eye, and the girls all left with her to make sure she was all right," said Biddie.
"She made an excuse to leave until Laurie left, did she?"
"Well, I don't know about that," said Biddie while Jeremy nodded. "But Lottie seemed to think so. She went to the dormitory to give her a piece of her mind."
"Which left Laurie, you, and Candy to do everything yourselves."
"Sitting right here, Jason."
"And you." Jason took a long sip, weighing the consequences of following Lottie to give Hannah a piece of his mind too.
"Anyway, if you're looking for Laurie, she's in the back. I think she didn't want anyone to see her upset."
"In the back, you said?" he asked Biddie.
"Yes, and Candy followed her."
"Thank you." He lifted himself off the bar and headed toward the door.
"Oh, think nothing of it. But I'd go out and through the back door if I were you."
Jason stopped mid-stride. "Why?"
Biddie widened her eyes as she said, "Well, not that I would ever suggest eavesdropping, mind you, but they might talk about you, or Seattle... or Hannah. And don't you want to know what she thinks about... things?"
Jason stood still. Yes, he wanted to know very much what Laurie thought of him, and out of morbid curiosity, what she thought of Seattle, but eavesdropping? Not that he felt above such measures, but he wasn't sure he was ready to resort to it instead of talking to her himself. "Why don't you tell me what she thinks about... things?"
"Oh, I would, except I don't know. She isn't very talkative, is she?"
"No, she's not." Understatement of the year, he thought dryly. He took another step toward the door, changed his mind, and ambled to the double doors at the front of the saloon. He might as well face it, Laurie was more likely to confess her feelings to another woman than him. "Not one word," he said, pointing to Jeremy and Biddie.
"Oh no, Jason, we wouldn't do that," said Biddie. "Who would believe us?" Jason almost missed her giggle and Jeremy's grin as he exited the building.
He walked around the outside of the saloon. A warm puff of air ruffled his hair when he opened the door a crack and peeked in to see Laurie's back facing him. He could hear Candy, but she was out of his line of sight. All he could make out was her yellow calico sleeve.
"Do you think Jason would like it?" said Candy. "It's kinda sweet for a man, isn't it?"
Laurie's musical voice answered after a moment. "As long as I put whiskey in his coffee like Lottie does, I'm sure he'll love it."
"Laurie!"
"I think Jeremy would like it," his wife answered, and through the crack he could see her lift a cup to her lips.
Some secret. Coffee. Jason mentally rolled his eyes at himself. What had he expected? He opened the door a little wider.
"There are some women in town that think whiskey is the devil's tool."
Laurie said something too low for him to hear and put down her cup. "Besides, why should I take something away from Jason that he enjoys?"
Candy's cheek was resting on her fist, and she scrunched her nose. "I don't know. Marriage is all about sacrifice and compromises, don't you think? Not that I think you should, but there are some men that it might help."
Jason's frown deepened.
"True, and so is having the wisdom to leave well enough alone. My father didn't handle hard liquor well, and my first husband..." She paused. "Well, I don't suppose you could blame spirits for his problems. My point is, I've already seen enough of Jason to know he can handle himself, and I would never win that fight, nor would I want to. All that kind of sacrifice and compromising would do is cause resentment and regret. Right now we're trying to knit a family together, not tear it apart."
"Glad to hear it," said Jason, unable to listen anymore. His wife spun around in her chair. He had opened the door and leaned against the frame, his full glass of whiskey in his hand.
"What are you doing here?" Candy asked him, rising to sit straight in her chair. "Jeremy said he was the only one helping tonight was because you were already behind schedule."
Jason's mouth twisted into a bemused expression. "Firing people is thirsty business."
"Firing! Who?" asked Candy.
"Abercrombie and that bunch of lazy good-for-nothings we hired with him," Jason answered. His eyes slid over Laurie and enjoyed the fresh pink that rose in her cheeks. She looked ravishing in a dark blue dress that poured over her form, a frilly white ruffle around the scoop neckline and again at her wrists. She wore a white apron tied at her waist, and the contrast between formal and informal felt cozy.
"Well, I'm glad. They about drove Jeremy nuts last week."
Jason moved his eyes from Laurie to Candy and said, "Ah, Candy, Jeremy has been enlisted to help Biddie. I got the feeling he'd like to be rescued." He winked at Laurie. She smiled back, and he felt his body warm as if he were basking in a sunbeam.
"Rescued? From what?"
"From the clutches of the remaining decorating committee. She's got him all tied up in ribbons."
"Oh, you!" Candy said, flicking a dust rag at him. She gave Laurie a sympathetic pat on the hand and hurried toward the saloon's barroom.
Jason sat down in front of Laurie. He brushed his hand over the damp curls that framed his forehead and scratched his five o'clock shadow, his eyes drooping a little, but he managed a wistful quirk to the smile that played at his mouth. She gave him a questioning smile back, and he felt an unsettling tremor in his hands.
He downed the whiskey he had brought with him and set the empty glass down on Lottie's crocheted tablecloth, letting his eyes drink her in. All right, she's pretty, he thought, his eyes sliding from her lips to the lower neckline that stayed modest from the stiff posture she sat in. Her curly tendrils brushed against her neck, and he sat back in his chair and licked the whiskey off his lips remembering the kisses he had placed there. More than pretty.
She fidgeted with her cup, and he blinked hard, forcing himself to be present again. He seemed to be drifting in his thoughts a lot lately. "Getting advice from the unwed comes with the territory, Laurie. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was guilty of that crime myself."
Her tentative smile widened. "I think we all have been one time or another."
"I'm, ah... I'm sorry about Hannah's behavior today. That wasn't very polite of her."
"She's hurting. And honestly, aren't we all hurting in some fashion? At least you and I have a life we're creating together to distract us. What does she have?"
"Mmm. First, you forgive me for skipping out on dinner, and now Hannah. You're very compassionate, you know."
"Not really. Perhaps if things were different, I might be the jealous one."
Jason raised his eyebrows. Laurie, jealous over him? That he'd like to see. He smiled, and after a quick pause, he said, pointing to the cup she was holding, "So. Coffee laced with whiskey?"
"Apparently Miss Lottie's specialty."
"Hmm. Do you need that?"
A flicker of surprise crossed her face before she narrowed her eyes to peer at him with curiosity. "No..." she said, slowly.
He shook his head. "I'm honestly asking the question, Laurie. The past few weeks... what's happened to you. To us. And well, everything's new, isn't it? New home, new people, new husband... I wouldn't blame you if you needed to knock the edge off once in a while. I need it almost daily."
He watched her study him with feigned indifference. It was the most interest she had shown him yet, and oddly enough, he found the attention more intoxicating than the liquor he'd just enjoyed.
"You once said Lottie was a good friend that you could trust," she told him, leaning forward just a little. "Did you tell her to slip me a bit of whiskey today?"
He stared at her for a moment, wishing like he had every day since he'd met her in his hotel room that he could read her mind. "You have nightmares." He shifted in his chair and wiggled an itch in his ear. "And you're still reluctant to leave the cabin even though I told you the drifter, or whoever he was, is gone. I asked Lottie if she knew of a way to help you, and, uh, I guess this was her way of helping."
Laurie's eyes dropped to her cup. "How bad are the dreams?"
"Bad enough for me to know you're still afraid of someone," he said, his voice low. "Bad enough that I've had to run in and hold you until you quieted down so you didn't wake the others. Or at least, so they could get back to sleep."
"I see."
She slipped away from the table to stand, but Jason spoke boldly, his voice holding her in place. "Bad enough that if your first husband was around, I'd be worthy of that noose your brother wanted to use."
She observed him over her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I am too," he admitted. "Look, I ah, uh... I don't mean to pry. I'm trying, Laurie. I'm trying to understand and be patient, but there are things I feel like I need to know."
"You're welcome to ask me anything. What is it you're wondering about?"
"Are you divorced?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Sherman died shortly after the war. I watched it happen."
"Oh. And that upset you?"
The way she hugged her arm to herself said more than her words. "It was a terrible death."
"But he hurt you. Didn't he?"
Laurie nodded solemnly. "Yes. Many times."
He got up and skirted her dress so they could face each other, standing between her and the door. "Is that the reason you..." His voice drifted off, the question stuck in his throat. Just say it. Ask her.
She bit her lip followed with a tiny shake to her head. "I..?"
He pushed out a quick breath of air out of his nose, and staring straight into her eyes said, "Cried."
"Which time? You know I've cried a lot."
Sweet angels in heaven, this was painful. "Our... the night we... well, when we were together," he said, lifting his hands to touch her shoulders. She flinched slightly and he let his hands drop by his sides. "As husband and wife. You cried after it was over. After you thought I was asleep and I... oh, I can't stop thinking about it. Wondering. Did I hurt you?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. "Or was it your late husband? Does it hurt because of what he did to you? And I don't mean here," he said, pointing to her chest where there were two small, circular scars she bore at the top of her breast, hidden by the white ruffles. "Those are obvious. I mean here," he said, pointing to his temple. Then he threw his hands in the air as if exasperated. "Or... other places. Oh, maybe it was too soon." He paused with his face pinched as he fought to find the right answer.
There was a heavy silence in the room. When she responded, her voice was soft and anguished. "You didn't hurt me, Jason. You were gentle." She picked up the hem of her apron and tore at it for a moment before lifting her eyes to meet his. "I thought it was nice. I wondered why you hadn't wanted... more. Most men would have already taken it." Her shoulder languidly raised and dropped.
Jason sucked in his breath. "I thought you needed more time," he said, his voice low and soothing, stepping closer. Laurie eyed him but this time she didn't flinch. "I don't want you to feel rushed, or forced. Well, beyond what your brother forced you into. But not from me."
"But you want to?" Her face was earnest, but her hands told another story, twisting her apron so hard he thought it might rip.
"Yes," said Jason, and saw the raw panic in her eyes before she slammed her mask back into place. "I don't—" He placed his hands back on his hips and shifting his weight to the other leg. Jason gave himself a moment to collect his thoughts by taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "What I mean to say," he said, feeling more in control of himself. "Is that yes, I do, but not at your expense. Knowing it brings you grief, Laurie, there's no enjoyment in that." He glanced up at the whitewash on the wood ceiling and shook his head. "If we're going to make this a happy marriage, well, I think this is part of it, don't you?"
"Yes."
"And I'm sure you'd like to have children."
"More than you know."
"Good," he said with a concise nod. He already knew the answer, but he felt he had to ask. "But how do you feel right now?"
Her eyes were dry, but he could feel the tension all around her. "All I can do is my best."
He smiled sadly and reached to pull a curled tendril through his fingers, capturing a few strands between his finger and thumb. "That's true enough." In time they would work through it. They would have to.
It seemed their conversation had ended, yet she stood there, her eyes searching his face. He let the blonde strands of hair slide out of his tender hold. "Go on," he said, keeping his voice gentle. "The others will wonder if I've whisked you away."
"All right," she whispered and slipped into the barroom to tend to the mindless tasks of decorations and small talk.
Jason sat back down and with an empty glass in hand, studied the air in front of him until it was time to go home.