F I F T Y - T W O :
ᴍɪɴᴏʀ ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏғ ᴅʀᴜɢ ᴍɪsᴜsᴇ, sᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ
Her ring-cladded hands clenched tightly onto the sink as she let out a series of deep shivering breaths, her eyes red raw from the amount of tears she had shed. They had arrived at the hospital around fifteen minutes ago and Oak was told that she couldn't be in the room as it could be painful to see. Just from when Oak had checked her brother's pulse and by the time he reached the ambulance his pulse was even lower and the second they burst through the hospital doors he was taken away to get checked over.
The ringing that echoed through her ears for the third time trying to get hold of Seb made her want to throw her phone on the floor, she didn't want to bother her mum or panic her but she didn't want to be alone right now.
"Seb, for fucks sake can you just pick up the bloody phone?" She breathed into the voicemail, her tone tense "Please, I need you here. . ." She sobbed again, kind of growing sick of the feeling, she was surprised she even had any tears left. "I'm at the hospital, so when you get this please just come here, it's Tom, it's happened again and I don't know what to do," She continued talking as her throat was held together with barbed wire.
The hospital was as bleak as ever, not one person had a smile on their faces, well, what was there to smile about? The usual reason someone was in hospital wasn't a good reason, in a way it depended how you took the reason you were in there.
Her legs felt weak, like she hadn't walked in months like everything around her was slowly but surely crumbling beneath her, she felt so sorry for Tom at the fact he felt alone and he resided to doing this to himself. What was going on in his head? Because whatever it was Oak and their full family would do everything in their power to help him get through it, it didn't make him any different having struggles, everyone does but the sheer fact his were too much to handle is what made the feeling in Oak's stomach clench like she was being repeatedly kicked.
"Oak?" The sweet voice of Tammy spoke softly in recognition of her sons best friend "Are you okay, darling?" She asked concern dripping from every syllable that left her mouth. Oak had forgotten Alex's mum worked on Sunday nights, she put on a brave face and turned to face the lovely woman stood by her side and smiled a faux smile.
"I'm good, you?" The brunette answered her question, trying her best with a cheery tone. It was abundantly obvious she wasn't okay but it was nowhere near the 'not okay' her brother felt, her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were painted red from the amount of crying she'd done.
Tammy tilted her head upwards at the tall girl before her and didn't answer her question, she just gently pulled her into a hug she could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't 'good'. She knew Oak and she knew that she was usually smiley, she was always shy but always genuinely smiley. At first, the girl didn't know how to respond because it was so sudden but eventually she eased herself into the hug and hugged her back just as tightly her eyes threatening to spill over again.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" Tammy asked soothingly, keeping her short arms wrapped around the girl she called her non-biological daughter.
"It's Tom," She choked out into the crook of Tammy's neck. Tammy squeezed her back tighter in response assuming that the reason he was here was the same as last time because he never usually wound up here.
"Shh it's okay sweetie, he'll be okay," The black-haired woman reassured the broken girl that was wrapped around her, seeing her so down was so out of character and it was heartbreaking.
"What if he's not?" She strained even more, it was like all of the tears she hadn't let fall throughout the year were all flying out of her tear-ducts right now even though she tried her best to keep them all concealed in front of Tammy.
"Don't think like that. He will be because you Rivers' lot are a bunch of hard uns," She told the truth, doing the best Mancunian accent she could muster up, which did make Oak feel a little better. Tammy was right, the Rivers' clan were all strong, except maybe her but they always pulled through, together.
"Oak Rivers?" A voice called out and Oak could've sworn her heart stopped beating, it was the doctor to tell her how Tom was.
Tammy and Oak both said goodbye to each other, Tammy had to get back to work and Oak had to listen to what the doctor had to say and with every step she took towards the tall greying man her heart squeezed together. The doctor looked down at her sorrowfully, which just made her mind race with a million different thoughts that didn't end in a good way, that look in his eyes screamed that there was something wrong or so she thought.
"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked concerned, he could see how much tonight's events had wrecked her and he felt very sympathetic towards her.
"As good as I can be, I guess, how are you?" She replied hoarsely then cleared her throat "Is he okay?" She added, her worry taking over her.
The man took a deep breath in, these sorts of things were always so hard to find the right words for and to try and put the family's mind at ease when someone they love does something to hurt themselves like this, was very, very hard. "We found cocaine and heroin in his system, it's looking like the overdose was caused by the latter," He stated as softly as he could to try and not worry her but he didn't think it worked considering the look on the young lady's face drained in colour. "He's doing better than we thought he would be with the amount of substance he put into himself," He explained further as Oak just nodded, taking in every word he said as intently as possible so she didn't miss anything.
"Obviously, because of how much he put in himself we're going to have to monitor his state closely and judging by the amount, this wasn't an accident. Your brother?-" He told her and stopped to make sure he got it correct and the girl nodded in response willing him to carry on "However is in a light coma so he's awake, he just doesn't know it but I promise you we will do everything we can for him," Doctor Rhibb reassured the lady in front of him to the best of his ability, this part of the job was by far the worst, seeing family members of patients so anguished was very difficult to shake.
"Okay. . ." She smiled fighting back the flood again "Thank you," She breathed out the truth, she was very grateful for all the work the NHS did to help people, thank you didn't even cut it, they needed way more than a thank you but she had no other coherent words.
Dr. Rhibb eventually left her side with a sad smile and a gentle arm of reassurance on her shoulder. When the words had sunk in, he was in a coma. He was in a coma unconscious to the point where he could potentially not be awakened, he was laying there, hearing, feeling but not seeing or touching, he was practically dead but very much alive in the eyes of everyone else except maybe himself.
Her heart was welling with the sort of pain you only feel when you want nobody to hear you cry, her full body radiated in agony but nothing compared to what Tom's agony was. Her mind piled with words and thoughts that were only felt when you had no words to express the way you felt, but nothing compared to the thoughts that Tom had. Her hands were quivering at the fact that he did what he did but not as much as Tom's were when he did it.
Her body slid slowly down the wall in a secluded area of the hospital and her hands wrapped themselves in her already messed up hair as her elbows rested on her curled up knees, she couldn't comprehend what had happened, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know how to help and that was the reason he was here. She failed him.
——— ••• ———
Sebastian Rivers
What did you call for?
Delivered at 22:22 PM
Sebastian Rivers
I can't talk right now whats up?
Delivered at 22:28 PM
Sebastian Rivers
Just tell me, I'm at Mabel's and you know how she gets when I get calls
Delivered at 22:31 PM
Sebastian Rivers
Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm coming right now, don't move. I'm so sorry.
Delivered at 22:35 PM
Sebastian was straight out of the door without an explanation to his girlfriend as to where he was going, he couldn't waste anymore time, he'd already ignored three of his sisters calls because she kept giving him dirty looks and accusing him of cheating-he didn't have the capacity to deal with that right now, his brother and sister needed him and that's what he was going to do.
As he exited Mabel was calling his name shouting at him asking him where he was going and he knew he should've given her an explanation but there was something more important he had to tend to and that was being by his baby sisters side. At this given time he didn't give a shit about his girlfriend's screaming and name calling accusations, he felt awful for ignoring Oak especially when she so evidently needed someone to be there with her.
Quicker than a flash he was racing to the hospital, not forgetting about the laws but his mind fogged with guilt times by two lots; guilt at the fact he let his sister deal with what had happened alone and guilt at the fact that he hadn't noticed the difference in his brothers behaviour.
His hands gripped to his leather steering wheel tighter than usual, his whole persona was tensed up in pure worry-what could he possibly say to them to make them both feel better? Who found him? Was his mum there? Did Oak call her?
If he channelled his sisters train of thought he could answer the last two questions; he knew that Oak hated bothering people especially if she knew they were busy or having a good time she wouldn't want to panic them, so no, his mum probably wasn't there unless, of course, she found him, which was doubtful as the 'engagement party' was due to be like an all-nighter and that's what pained him more. The thought of his younger sister having to see her brother in that sort of position will be a scarred in her memory forever no doubt, in all honesty whoever found him would've been torn to shreds.
When he'd hopped out of the car he tried ringing his sister so he could ask where she was and so he could go and comfort her, he'd gone through the back entrance because the car park looked full from a short distance, but like expected he got no response. In all honesty, he didn't blame her, she had every right to be mad at him, he fucking ignored her and he'd never be able to forgive himself.
Frantically, his head snapped in every direction it could in hopes he'd see his easily recognisable sister sat down in a chair or talking to someone, he didn't know the state his brother was in all he could do was pray that everything was okay. The thought of his sister finding him was sending a sting throughout his body, he knew Oak was a very strong person but when she saw somebody she loved hurt that hurt her more than any pain inflicted on herself.
His feet carried him down hallways, looking down each with a perceptive eye, his heart beat heard in his ears and felt rapidly in his chest, he honestly didn't know what to do with himself. "Oak?" He quizzed himself as he saw a crouched down figure that was letting little sobs out, which in itself was gut wrenching.
At the mention of her name, her bloodshot blue eyes looked up to her brother who was standing about seven feet away from where she was. Instantly, she stood up and more or less ran into his arms to feel comfort, he enveloped her back tightly as she continued to cry. "What's happened?" Seb asked calmly as they parted from their hug. "Have you called mum?" He questioned again, he had so many questions but lacked the capacity to ask them all in fears of the answer.
"He was just laying there, Seb, and-and I didn't know what to fucking do, it's all my fault. I should've been there with him, I should've told the lads to come to ours so he wasn't alone, I don't know why he did it Seb, why did he do it?" She answered gravelly, her voice so strained that it was hard to make out. Seb's heart shattered right then and there at the sound of the smashed state she was in.
"It is not your fault, Oak, it's nobody's fault. He just-he felt like he had to," He responded telling her the truth with a light sigh leaving his lips, it hurt him to even think about what his brother must have been battling with in silence and that silence was so extremely loud when he looked back. "How is he?" He asked the dreaded question and what he was about to hear next was enough for him to want to build a time machine and go back and try and suss out when he started to slip into his old ways.
Oak swallowed tightly before looking down at her booted feet "He's in a coma," Oak stated and like his sister's face did earlier, it drained from colour and he felt his dark blue eyes fill with the liquid that hardly ever left. "He overdosed on the heroin but he also had cocaine in his system," The girl explained gently, giving her brother the information he deserved. "And no, I didn't call mum, I know I should have but I want her to have a good night for as long as she can before I do," She continued answering his second question.
Sebastian breathed out his cheeks rapidly, which was something he did to try and calm himself down, his hands were placed on his hips as he breathed as slowly as he could to contain the emotion he wanted to tsunami out but he knew he had to stay strong for his sister. "We need to call her, how long have you been here?" He told her meekly as they slowly walked out of the hallway and reached the main reception waiting area.
Oak wasn't sat in the room with him because there had been no mention of being allowed to, so she was more or less just waiting it out, she understood how difficult their jobs were and she didn't want to bother them anymore than they already were.
The old teen sat on a seat that was spare as Sebastian did the unimaginable and was going to be breaking the news to their mother, who's night was no doubt about to be ruined, that was the thing that scared him and Oak the most, the fact that the smile on their mother's face was about to be swiped right off of her and replaced with a look that suggested she'd seen a ghost.
At first, Seb didn't think she was going to answer and, of course, he understood because she was out, having the time of her life no doubt, celebrating something that deserved to be celebrated, but eventually the dial tone ended and the slight slur of his mother's voice spoke through. "Hi Sebastian darling, how are you?" She answered the words she spoke coming out as more of a mumble.
"I'm good, how are you? Are you having a good night?" He replied not wanting to go straight into the bad news, it wasn't fair to just spring it on her like that.
"I'm fantastic and I'm having the best time, the girls say hello," She spoke, the smile prominent in her tone and it broke his heart to hear how happy she was and how that would soon change. "Why did you call? Is everything alright?" She finally asked and these next words he was about to say had to be very carefully thought out.
He let out a deep breath, his eyes filling again "No er-it's not," He told her "Tom's in hospital again-you don't have to come, Oak and I are here but I just wanted to tell you so you were aware of what was going on. . ." He explained as placidly as humanly possible, he didn't want cause a surge of panic over her but she had to know.
"He's what-?" She spat out and the sound of a chair being pulled from under the table and crashing into the next table emitted from the other line "Please don't tell me he's-he'd done it again hasn't he?" She spoke in a quiver.
"I'm sorry mum," He apologised as a sly tear rolled down his cheek and dropped onto his shirt. Oak had now moved beside him and had her arm around him in a comforting way, this was so much harder than ever imaginable.
"I'll be there soon okay, darling, I'm so sorry. . ." She apologised to her son as her eyes too started welling, this was all too much for one to comprehend.
The two siblings had brought each other into another hug after Seb ended the heart-wrenching call to his mother. They both just stood there, hugging each other comfortingly as the whole world seemingly passed by them; one thing that was for sure, when bad things happened it brought them together and sure, that shouldn't be an excuse to come together but it was, they fought everything, together.
It wasn't long at all until their mum arrived, tears in her eyes and her arms wide open for her children. Louise told Oak that it was probably for the best if she stayed at someone's house tonight instead of going home after what she went through, seeing her brother in that state could make her feel worse being back there. She insisted that Oak left as soon as she could because she'd done enough and she'd helped massively, she needed sleep, if she could get any whatsoever. Her mum told her that she'd contacted Joe's mum and asked if she could stay and, of course, she agreed saying that the other two were already staying the night and were obviously still awake.
The girl was persistent that she was fine and she'd rather just stay by Tom's side, like they now had been for the last hour but Louise wasn't having any of it. It was physically obvious that Oak was in pain and she deserved rest after the traumatic experience she went through tonight, she was reassured that Tom would be more than okay. She was, of course, so against the idea of leaving but when her four friends all rocked up to the hospital to be there for her, she had no other choice.
She sat by the car window of Joe's silver car, looking out of the slightly tinted window watching the trees blow with Harper by her side trying to talk to her except she wasn't properly responding, she was in the respect she wasn't ignoring them but her answers were either nods or shakes, or muffled words, which in itself was so heart-rending for the four of them who were all piled into the car.
On the radio a slow 'late night jam' as the radio presenter called it streamed through the speakers quietly and Joe was very hesitant about keeping it considering how bloody sad it was and the last thing that any of them needed was more sadness, seeing their friend in such a state was sad-a-bloody-nough without adding a sodding soundtrack to it.
It was a fifteen minute drive from the hospital to Joe's house so it didn't take long at all, Harper was only there because Charlie had called her informing her about the situation so they agreed to let her come with them to see her and how she was doing, which was such a stupid question to ask considering the circumstances.
They all pulled up outside of Harper's new block of flats to drop her off home, the long-haired girl turned to her friend and gently grabbed her face between her small hands "Listen here tree, if you need anything and I mean fucking anything like I don't know someone to punch or a shoulder to cry on, just call me, okay?" She told her softly firm and then smiled to herself when she saw the girl crack the smallest of smiles "And if these three start pissing you off I will come and kick them in the bollocks for you cause I know you wouldn't do that," She continued with a joking side to try and cheer her up and it temporarily worked. She hugged her tightly and gave her brief kiss on the cheek before she clambered out of the car and jogged into her block of flats.
Joe's mum had given Oak a spare pair of pyjamas to sleep in, if she was going to go to sleep tonight. She couldn't lie, Alex, Charlie and Joe had all been brilliant in making her feel slightly better, they all made sure she was comfortable and cosy in the bed that all four of them, somehow lay on, they were all hugging her tightly in an ounce of reassurance even though it was insanely cramped and probably not a good idea-she had the best friends any girl could wish for and she was immensely grateful for them and their presence.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
SUICIDE PREVENTION NUMBERS: ALPHABETICAL ORDER
ARGENTINA: 135 (Greater Buenos Aires) or 5275-1135 (rest of the country)
AUSTRALIA: 1300 659 467 (call back service)
AUSTRIA: 142 (Telefonseelsorge)
BELGIUM: 112 (NATIONAL EMERGENCY)
CANADA: 1 833 456 4566
CHINA: 800-810-1117 (landline) OR 010-8295-1332 (mobile)
CROATIA: 48 33 888
CZECH REPUBLIC: 116 111
DENMARK: 70 201 201 (Livslinien)
FINLAND: 010 195 202 (Finnish) or (09) 4135 0501 (foreigners)
FRANCE: 01 45 39 40 00
GERMANY: 0800 111 0 111 (Protestant), 0800 111 0 222 (Catholic), 0800 111 0 333 (for children and youth)
GREECE: 1018
GREENLAND: 134
HONG KONG: 2896 0000 (Samaritans)
HUNGARY: 116-123 (Blue line)
ICELAND: 1717
INDIA: 91-22-27546669 (AA SRA)
INDONESIA: 150-0454 (Kementerian Kesehatan)
IRAN: 1480
IRELAND: 116 123 (Samaritans for IRE and NI)
ISREAL: 1201
ITALY: 800 86 00 22 OR 06 77208977 (Samaritans)
JAPAN: 03-5774-0992
KOREA: (2) 715 8600 (Love-line)
LATVIA: +371 67222922 OR +371 27722292
LITHUANIA: 8 800 28888 (Youth line)
MALAYSIA: 03-79568 144 OR 03-79568 145
MEXICO: (55) 5259-8121 (SAPTEL)
MOROCCO: +212 (6) 62 58 95 70 (mobile) OR +212 (5) 22 87 47 40 (landline)
NETHERLANDS: 0900 0113
NEW ZEALAND: 0800 376 633 (Youthline)
NORWAY: 22 40 00 40 (Kirkens SOS)
PHILIPPINES: (02) 7989-USAP (8727)
POLAND: 89 19288 OR 89 527 00 00
PORTUGAL: 225 50 60 70 (Voz de Apoio)
ROMANIA: 0800 0800 20
RUSSIA: 007 (8202) 577-577 (Samaritans)
SINGAPORE: 6389 2000
SOUTH AFRICA: 0800 567 567
SPAIN: 717 003 717
SIR LANKA: 011 057 2222662
SUDAN: (249) 11-555-253
SWEDEN: 116 111 (BRIS)
SWITZERLAND: 143
THAILAND: (02) 713-6793 (Samaritans)
UK: 116 123 (Samaritans)
USA: 1-800-273-8255
IF THERE ARE ANYMORE THAT YOU KNOW PLEASE PUT THEM IN THE COMMENTS!
wrote; wednesday 13th may 2020
(partially) edited; friday 20th november 2020
published; monday 23rd november 2020