Bang Chan
I planned a date for us today. Im finally gonna do it, im gonna ask her.
The night was perfect, i took her for a drive to a place where we could be alone and nobody would see us.
"Its really peaceful here." She said as i place a matt for her and me to sit down on. We could see the city way up here, i brought some Champagne with us.
"Yeah, i wanted us to be alone and free."
"Thats nice." She smiled and stared at the city's glowing light.
She wasn't talkative like she usually is, but she wasn't sad either. Maybe she was just tired, I heard that her bestfriend is coming home tomorrow, i decided this is the perfect day.
"Wanna lie down?" She nodded. I adjusted the matt and let her head rest on my chest. It was really perfect, i can feel her body relaxed, it was peaceful. "Inha?"
"Hmm?"
"Im glad i met you and that youre here with me..." i stopped and i helped her get up, so i can see her face. We were both staring at Each other, i was a bit nervous but seeing her smile boosted my confidence.
"Im glad too." She caressed my face and i kiss her hand.
"I want you to be my girl and i want to be the guy for you." I was holding her hand and she was surprised, she probably knew what i would be saying next.
"I love you inha, will you be my girlfriend?" She let out a small gasped, it took her seconds then she embraced me.
"I love you too chan." I felt so glad, this is the best night of my life, i hugged her tighter.
"But, i-" i slowly let go of her, she inched away from me, she didnt look at me. I started to feel shattered, i was petrified.
"Im sorry, i just. I feel like now its...i feel so guilty." She buried her face in her hands and started crying.
I didnt know how to react, i thought this was going to be a great night. I pushed my feelings aside for a moment and comforted her.
"Its fine, im sorry if i put you in a tight spot. I was going to fast." I sighed. "Please dont cry inha you dont have to feel bad."
"Im sorry chan." She hugged me again.
"Hey come on, why should you be sorry? Its fine i understand." She continued sobbing, i fight back the tears that was threatening to fall. Aigooooo... "i should get you home, you need to stop crying and get some rest." She looked at me with sad eyes, she slowly got up and went back to the car.
The ride back home was silent.
A lot of things were going on in my mind, questions that im dying to ask her but i just cant. I hold on to the steering wheel like my life depended on it. Inha was resting her head on the window, eyes closed.
I drove a bit faster since i just wanted to go home too, she noticed and she looked a lot more guilty.
...
We finally arrived . She removed her seatbelt and i remained still.
I wasnt looking at her.
"Chan." She almost whispered.
I didnt answer, i wasnt ready to hear her apologize again.
"I-"
"Dont worry about me, ill be fine inha." I gave her a small smile.
"I do love you chan, i hope youre not having doubts about me." She turned to me and placed her hand above mine.
I didnt speak, i didnt know what to say.
"Please talk to me." Her voice started to break, there were tears pooling in her eyes.
She was more devastated than me, how could that be?
"Im not mad at you inha, i told you i understand."
"I cant even tell you why im like this." She wiped her tear, how can someone still be so beautiful even when they're crying?
"You dont have to tell me if you cant. Dont stress yourself out. I can manage, ill be fine i promise."
"But you do believe me right? That i love you?" I stopped and looked down. She cried once again.
"You dont have to force yourself inha."
"Chan, i really do love you and i want to be your girlfriend and be with you for a long time."
"If thats the case then why did you rejected me?" She stopped. "Tell me the reason, and ill believe you." I didnt want to do this but i couldnt stop myself anymore.
"I cant tell you, You wont understand." She looked away.
"Is it your ex?" I asked.
"What? no! I told you before its all in the past.
"Then what?"
"Chan please, i dont know how to tell you now. You just have to trust me." She made me face her, i wasnt looking at her. "believe me." She suddenly kissed me taking me by surprise. "I love you so please wait for me." Her eyes were pleading.
This wasnt the first kiss that i imagined, this was supposed to happened once she said yes to me.
"Ill wait for you, no matter how long it takes."
"Thank you." She hugged me once again, my seatbelt stopped me from giving her a real hug. "Ill see you tomorrow right?" I just nodded.
She got off.
I waited for her to get inside then left.
...
I was in my room thinking, what should i do? I love her already, i do want to wait for her even if takes long. Is just that im dying to know why i cant be her boyfriend, if i knew the reason i could help her and we'll both be fine.
The morning came, she cant meet with me since her best friend will be coming home today. I wanted to meet her friend but i know she doesnt want me to. Yet? I just brush off what happened last night, the whole day she would keep telling me that she loves me in different ways, i felt bad that i doubted her she's probably worried. I decided to meet her after our vlive.
I was waiting for her in the car.
She smiled and quickly got in.
"So whats going on?" She asks as she settles herself in the passenger seat.
"Nothing, i just wanted to see you." I smiled.
"Really? Do you have something to tell me?"
"I wanted to see if you're okay."
"Im okay, what about you?" She stared at me.
"Im fine. So how's your day? Did you have fun with your best friend?" I rested my head in the steering wheel while looking at her.
"Yeah, i missed her a lot. We ate out and talked a lot. We watched your live earlier."
"Aww, thanks. Does she know about us?" I hesitated.
"Uh, no." She looked down.
"Oh, why not?"
"Ill tell her sometime."
"I hope i can meet her someday."
"You will, i promise."
"No hurries, i told you i can wait." She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Oh and im sorry for doubting your feelings for me." I scratch my head.
"Its fine, you have the right." She chuckled.
"Oh, i cant take too long. I told sowon im just gonna meet a colleague and buy something."
"Okay, ill drop you off at the grocery store and wait for you at the parking lot okay?"
"Thanks chan." I nodded.