Ch.30
Namjoon has been incredibly touchy as expected. It wasn't something you necessarily minded as long as the time was appropriate. If the two of you had a small time frame then you didn't let him go further like he wanted. Only when you both had enough time to make it special. You liked them to be special though sometimes Namjoon occasionally wanted to out of pure lust. That usually got him a quick glare, but at least he's respectful overall. He'll wait for whenever you want to as well and you're surprised how nice your relationship with him has been going. Only two weeks have passed since the first time the two of you had been intimate together. The rest of the angels were all clueless so you were grateful. Luck has been on both of your sides.
You've talked about admitting it to the angels with Namjoon, but it still didn't feel like the right timing. Something about it was holding you back. A large part of it was fear even though Namjoon assured you that he would protect you. He would make sure no one would go against his command. He's the King so they have to listen to him, but that won't stop their true thoughts. All of you were so close that it was making you more anxious as the days went on. You preferred it like this. Where they're all oblivious and if you could truly have it your way, they would all be accepting. The eight of you would all be happy back at the palace too. Miles away from Lady Eunchae.
Technically you guys were still a fair distance away from her. Traveling through the mountains is a slow process especially with wanting to spend more time in villages. You guys are halfway through the second month, but there's still a third month to deal with. All the angels wanted the journey to be over with while you wanted more time with Namjoon. More time for the two of you to be secret. You didn't even want to see Lady Eunchae. You hated the idea of getting to know her face and watching how she acts. You didn't want her learning your name or having a conversation with you. Anything about your existence, you want it to stay unknown to her.
"I just want to be there already, y'know?" Jeonghwa whined.
"You have no patience. Literally, none." Hyojin sighed.
"I'm sure it's something I'll learn eventually...I just wish I learned it faster already." Jeonghwa shrugged.
"Do you not hear yourself?" Hyojin shoved the maknae's shoulders.
"Okay, no fighting." Solji sighed, looking up from her compass. "The maknae will learn the hard way."
"I don't want to though."
"Yah, listen to me. I'm older." Solji returned to looking back at her compass. Jeonghwa huffed, looking over at Hyelin who was clapping her hands in delight.
"Imagine the food Lady Eunchae will feed us with!" Hyelin gushed. Food was finally a topic they could all agree and come together on. In some aspects.
"Jop, jop, jop—" Heeyeon mimicked Hyelin's chewing.
"No one asked!" Hyelin shouted.
"We've all spent way too much time together." Hyojin crossed her arms.
"We're starting to get irritated by one another." Heeyeon sighed even though she made fun of Hyelin a few seconds ago.
"I was always irritated." Hyojin smirked before getting shoved by Solji. She didn't want to hear it, giving all the girls a look to pull it together.
"None of you can act this way when we meet Lady Eunchae." Solji put her compass away. "You're all going to act well mannered and sharp like the soldiers we were trained to be."
"Lady Eunchae will find out eventually the mess you all are." Hwayoung looked to the side. Multiple gasps were let out by the angels while you ignored them all.
"As if you're any better!" Hyelin scoffed.
"I am," Hwayoung said confidently. Hyelin pointed an accusing finger at the girl before it slowly curled back. Even if she wanted to state an example of Hwayoung being a part of the mess, there was none that she knew off the top of her head. Hwayoung was reserved and calm compared to them. She won, but if they asked you then you had an entire list. Not that you were willing to randomly pull those stories out at the moment.
You were lost in your own thoughts despite walking with the angels. These thoughts have been gnawing at you since they mentioned her name. Suddenly a wave of unwanted feelings crashed over you. A sense of inferiority and insecurity that wanted to consume you. They were pushing you down, not wanting you to take a single breath of fresh air. You felt yourself sinking deep from her name alone. No sword could ever defend you from these feelings. That was the scariest feeling. You didn't feel a single ounce of power. You were terrified at the idea of meeting Lady Eunchae so it would be best if it never happened at all. That just wasn't possible though.
The voices of the angels could be heard, but not clearly. It all sounded like you were being held underwater. Namjoon wants to be with you and you know that. He wouldn't abandon you for another, but it was the idea of him being taken by force. Who were you to challenge a woman of higher rank than you? She was a noble lady of great wealth. All you were was a guard who didn't know her place. Hanging your head low, you frowned while the rest of the angels were discussing food. You didn't feel too hungry anymore. Nothing sounded appetizing with these unwelcomed thoughts floating around your head. You didn't like them one bit. Could they leave?
"Angel (F/n). Yeon (F/n)." Namjoon addressed you multiple times. His voice managed to pull you away from all your thoughts, bringing you back to reality.
"O-Oh, I'm sorry." You bowed to him instantly. "Is there something you need, your Majesty?"
"I wanted to know..." Namjoon looked over at the angels. He grabbed your elbow, purposely holding you back as they kept walking. He slowly began walking again with you. "Why did you have that look on your face? You looked so sad."
"Ah, that?" Your eyes stared down at the ground. "I was only worrying about our future is all. Lady Eunchae makes me nervous..."
"That's why?" Namjoon sighed. He inched closer to you, taking a hold of your hand. "Believe me when I say that everything will be okay. In the end, I'm King and she is only a noblewoman."
"I know, I'm overreacting." You shook your head only for him to grip your hand harder.
"Not at all," Namjoon replied. "I'm also a bit nervous. I'm not looking forward to telling her I'm not interested in marrying her, but I hope she understands."
"I hope for that too." You chuckled lightly. Namjoon smiled at you, glad to hear you lightening up a little. He wanted to swing your hand back and forth with his, but that was too risky. The most he could settle with was holding your hand for a little longer.
It wasn't long before he had to release your hand. He still stood close to you though, giving you loving glances whenever he could. It was hard to deny that you didn't feel special or loved. Just the effort on Namjoon's part alone meant the world to you. You'll try not to focus on the future and its uncertainty. That was your first mistake last time when rejecting Namjoon. Now you have him and love the present so you'll make an effort to not lose yourself on what's unknown. It's familiar where you are right now. You'll take things little by little and hopefully that'll be enough to make things easier for you.
You were going to make your best attempt to look at things on the brighter side. Luckily you've always tended to be a positive person. The high energy from the girls eventually got to you, making you laugh at their nonsense. It also helped that Namjoon was by your side without question. He cared for you and didn't only stay focused on the physical parts of the relationship. The negative thoughts weren't taking over anymore as you got playful with the girls. It was mainly you teasing Hwayoung in front of the other girls. She couldn't be safe from this conversation especially since she would be ready to embarrass you at any second too.
Though the angels may have their fair share of embarrassing stories on you, they'll never know half of the things Hwayoung knows. You're just an open book to the angels and you're a lot more outgoing than Hwayoung who typically sticks to you most of the time. If she weren't born as an angel, you'd imagine that she would have a profession that would involve her to never leave the house. She'd have someone else do it. You would be the reason she would even leave the house in that alternate universe, dragging her around and making sure she gets her fresh air. You have no doubt you'd be the way she meets Seungwon in that world as well. It almost made you imagine for a quick second a world where Namjoon and you got to be lovers freely. It sounded too good to be true.
"I will tell them about the fight with the palace woman!" Hwayoung threatened.
"Then I'll tell them about how I caught you talking to a frog!" You hummed. Hwayoung was quick to smack your side only to receive a smack back. The two of you were flailing arms pathetically at each other, not actually wanting to hurt each other.
"Shut up!" Hwayoung huffed.
"It's pretty funny." You mentioned to the girls before you were suddenly lifted up by Hwayoung. The two of you were screaming, joining the chaos fully. If Hwayoung is going to stay calm by herself then she'll need your assistance to be driven over the edge. Now all seven of you were behaving like wild monkeys.
Namjoon viewed the strange sight, speechless to say the least. He opened his mouth a few times and wondered if he should question what was taking place before him. It looked like you were all having fun though so he kept silent. That didn't mean he wouldn't judge. The King pursed his lips, squinting his eyes at how loud all of you were being. The frog story wasn't even that big of a deal and you were going to completely gloss over the mention of Seungwon anyway. The entire reason Hwayoung was speaking to a frog was because she was pretending it was Seungwon. Then by the time Seungwon actually came around, he didn't know whether to be flattered that she was practicing talking to him or offended on who she chose to represent him. Either way, Hwayoung was embarrassed and you were cackling in the bushes.
The chaos had to calm down soon enough. It started with Solji and eventually went down by age. Namjoon was grateful he didn't have so many people screaming around him anymore. It wasn't until you all realized why Solji became quiet that everyone was whispering. What did Solji find this time around? A few feet away from you guys was a well in the middle of the mountains. Water was running extremely low for all of you. This felt like a blessing immediately. Solji walked over, checking to make sure it still carried water. A smile graced her face as she nodded at all of you. Relieved sighs left the angels as they rushed over to the well, desperately pulling out their water pouches.
"Me! Me!" Hyelin shoved her water pouch near Solji.
"No, me!" Jeonghwa pouted.
"Get in line!" Hyojin pushed Heeyeon with her hip.
"Do you want me to throw you in the well?" Heeyeon glared at her.
"Stop!" Solji groaned.
"All of you are giving me a headache..." Namjoon muttered. Eyes slowly traveled over to the King, seeing his tired expression. At that point no one could really fight with anyone on this. Each of the angels turned pink, bowing deeply for bothering the King. You nervously bowed too but caught Namjoon winking at you. That man! The angels were back to looking at Solji who had her arms crossed.
"Behave a little more properly. We're losing ourselves a bit too much," Solji remarked.
"Yes, Angel Solji," Hwayoung said as everyone nodded.
"I just wanted to say that I know it's not evening yet. The sun is still high up, but we found a well with water. I don't know how long we'll go without water again so I'm going to call this area for rest. Tomorrow morning we'll refill our pouches and head out again. Understood?" Solji looked all of you in the eyes.
"So do we do our regular tasks already then?" You questioned. She nodded her head and everyone knew what to do. Pouches were left with Hwayoung for her to refill as others separated.
Namjoon was quick to follow you on the search for firewood. His mind wasn't too stuck on the firewood part though. You headed towards an area with trees, knowing Namjoon was trailing right behind you. The trees were all on the other side of a large hill. You were careful with your steps, noting how the ground was a bit uneven. You were walking on slanted ground which made you nervous for Namjoon. Thankfully the slanted part wasn't too steep as you found an area with better leveling. You turned around to see Namjoon carefully making his way down to join you. Once he was on the flat ground, he grinned happily at you.
Back with Solji and Jeonghwa, the two were only sitting on the ground. They had nothing to do anymore. There were no bamboo mats to set down for their comfort anymore. It wasn't too bad just sitting here, but Jeonghwa preferred to do something. Hwayoung was only a couple feet away refilling the pouches with water. It was taking a bit longer than using a river so an idea popped into the maknae's head. Maybe she could help? Just as she was about to stand up and offer her help, Solji beat her to it. The eldest got up and walked over to assist the girl. Jeonghwa frowned, staying on the ground to her dismay. The dirt floor wasn't comfortable in the slightest. She could feel her butt growing numb! She had to do something about this.
"I'm going to go help (F/n) unnie with firewood," Jeonghwa mumbled as she got onto her feet, dusting off her clothes.
"You do that," Solji said, barely listening.
The maknae just needed to do something. Three trying to refill pouches was too much and there were already three hunters. At least she could be sort of useful with helping you get firewood. It's not like the King picked up any of the wood himself. He only went with you to chat in her eyes. She didn't think much of it since you were his shadow so naturally the two of you would be closer. Plus, she found out from Solji that the King feels most protected by you. That must be a huge honor for you. Well, now he'll have double the protection! The maknae smiled at her plans, going around the hill that she saw the two of you go behind.
Jeonghwa scanned the ground, smiling once she spotted the disturbed earth. Footprints leading down a slanted path. She could already tell which steps were her fellow angel's and which belonged to the King. She giggled quietly to herself as she went down the area. Namjoon and you had already walked a couple feet away from the area. You were trying to look for wood that was actually good. You didn't want to hear Hwayoung teasing you for being bad at this. You purposely let her get the best kind last time! That's it! Namjoon chuckled as he watched you take your task seriously. It was adorable in his eyes and he made sure to cheer you on.
Finally, Jeonghwa made it to the flat leveled ground. Now that that was over with, she just needed to figure out where the two of you went. She didn't want to miss you guys. Her eyes carefully followed the footprints on the ground. They were a bit scattered since you were looking for firewood which made it a little harder for the girl. She sighed to herself, struggling to find you guys. All of her footsteps were muted and light enough to barely leave prints. It was only a habit of hers as the King's trained spy. Jeonghwa was close to giving up when she saw some movement. She placed her hand on the scabbard of her sword just in case as she tried to see who it was.
"I think that firewood should be enough to last us the night." Namjoon shrugged. You were crouched down, looking at all the ones you've managed to gather.
"Some of them are not worth bringing back." You flung a twig away from your batch. How did that manage to get in there?
"Come on, (F/n)." Namjoon tapped his foot. You sighed as you stood up, leaving the wood on the ground. You turned around to face the King with a smile.
"I still need to search for more wood," You said.
"I don't think so." He shook his head.
Jeonghwa moved her hand away from her sword, relaxing to see there was no threats after all. It's just you and the King. The exact people she was looking for. The girl stepped closer, getting a better view of the two of you. She didn't want to scare you both since it was only her. Jeonghwa was about to wave and call out to the two of you when Namjoon shoved you up against a tree. Instantly, Jeonghwa furrowed her brows at the sight. She didn't like how rough he was being with you. Was he upset? Jeonghwa took a step behind a tree to hide herself as she watched. You didn't look frightened at all in her eyes or even ashamed. It didn't appear as if you were getting scolded either.
"We only have limited time before we have to return," Namjoon stated.
"More time to get wood." You smiled to see him shake his head. He slowly began to lean closer, barely any space left between your lips.
"Just let me kiss you already." Namjoon pressed his lips against yours. Closing your eyes, you wrapped your arms around his neck as you embraced the moment. It was sweet to you.
But to another pair of eyes, they were beginning to tremble at the sight. They intruded on something they weren't supposed to. Jeonghwa's jaw dropped the second she saw the King lean in to kiss her unnie. She had to cover her mouth once she saw you wrap your arms around him. It was completely mutual. The two of you were acting so naturally around each other. How long has this been going on? Jeonghwa was internally screaming at what she witnessed. What is she supposed to do with this? Her thoughts were all over the place. She was never trained for this situation. She was frozen as Namjoon separated from you for a moment to caress the side of your face.
"I love you." He looked at you like you were a Queen.
"I love you too." You moved back in to kiss him.
"L-Love?" Jeonghwa mumbled to herself. Things got a hell of a lot more complicated. She's seen enough. She turned away, running away from the scene and pretending she was never there to begin with.
The youngest of the angels was left as a complete mess. She returned with no firewood and barely fought back with Solji when she was scolded for it. Jeonghwa was too busy with her thoughts, trying to look back on past memories. Everything she considered friendly could have been a lie. But she had to know when exactly it all started. Before the trip or after? Though she returned, Jeonghwa couldn't bring herself to mention it to the others. Hearing how softly the two of you admitted your love for one another held her back. She couldn't do that to you two.
"I brought the firewood!" You cheered as you arrived with Namjoon by your side. The King was silent, smiling at his angels. Solji began talking and the hunters of the group returned too with their captures. Everyone was acting so naturally. You and the King were acting as what happened in the forest never occurred. Jeonghwa swallowed hard, looking down at her feet. Well, sh*t.