Your POV
"UGH!"
You fell onto the ground and swung your head to the floor, holding the Gem in your (whatever hand) and laid in an X position.
"What am I going to do now?! I almost shattered a gem! I can't go back to Steven and The Crystal Gems!"
You sighed, staring at the sky. What was life now? You remember when you were locked away, was that better than this? Life is so complicated and confusing!
"What do I do now mom..." you whispered, watching the clouds fly in the blue sky.
You were stuck, you had to do something... but what? You knew Ammonite created life in this universe but how were you going to do it?! You practically had the power to destroy it if you weren't careful!
Why couldn't you just go back to when you were 7? The year before everything happened?! When life was good. You had friends, you were naive, happy.
Now look where you were. After years of being beaten by someone who was always there. Finding out your a daughter of a GOD. Knowing that your mother might still be alive, knowing that your father actually died. Knowing how much power you have could kill any and everything you love and hate.
It hurt. You hurt. You were alone again... only this time you didn't know what was going to happen next. Before you knew that when that basement door opened, it would be time to be beaten, hurt, or to eat a slither if bread, just to keep you alive and suffering.
At least if a gem had shattered it would have been quick and easy. You pulled on Jaspers bones, you burnt her skin, melting her into sand and making her cough up black thick liquid, that could burn a person. And her Gem was cracked and parts melted because of it. She might still be suffering and you couldn't do anything.
"Why is everything so dark now? Why cant we just be happy again?" You sighed, sitting up and looking at your gem. You could see Stevens mountain hill thing from behind where you were. You turned, It looked normal, no one seemed to be fighting, nothing out of the ordinary. It looked peaceful and calm.
"If they weren't looking for me I don't blame them" you got up and sat over on the edge to watch the peaceful city. "It's so beautiful over there, no darkness or pain..." you smiled, watching the clouds fly over the city, watching the sun in the sky watch over the sea and sand.
"I need to get Jasper back... but I can't hurt her anymore.." you held the Jasper in your hands in front of your gem.
Please please please please please. Please help her... I don't want to hurt people... please..
You hated the idea of hurting more people...
The Jasper started to glow, you got up and ran to the centre of the mountain, letting go of the Jasper as it flew into the air. It shone bright and something came out. Jasper fell to the floor. She was on all fours, terrified of something. She was out of breath, her eyes were wide. Something unsettling was behind her eyes.
She looked at you with horror. "D-dont..." she stumbled away from you. "J-Jasper I-" you didn't want to hurt her. "Whatever you've been through... please don't send me through that again..." she got on her knees, begging. She had been put through torture. She was BEGGING you. Jasper never begged anyone, not even the diamonds really.
You stepped back, you didn't know what you did to her but it was clearly terrible. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I" you had a right to be afraid of your power. You traumatized JASPER of all people.
"No.. no no no no.." you watched as Jaspers eyes held fear. You turned and ran. The vines helped you get down as you jumped off the mountain and they grabbed you, lifting you down pretty quickly.
You didn't run, this time you just hid. There was a hole in the mountain. It was quite big and you looked around. It was old but stable, the rocks were in good places. You laid on the floor as you cried, trying to sleep.
It's cold now... everything hurts... why am I hurting everyone around me?.. why can't I just be normal...
After a while you ended up crying yourself to sleep. You found yourself in the black place again. It was cold there, no wind, no breeze, no heat. It felt cold. You lay on the floor. "Please just let me die..." you whispered as you cried on the floor...
"(Y/N)?"
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Sorry that these chapters are small, I'm trying to think of a way to get my idea to work from here without just throwing it in there and no lead up.
Anyway, hope your enjoying this book. When I'm finished I plan on writing an original book around the gods or I'll start on a script for a channel I have. So yeah 😂