Jasmine's POV
It was around 9:00 pm when Jaxon drove off. Being around him was exhausting. I plopped myself into my bed and pulled the covers over my head. Being lazy and being consumed by depression was so normal for me now, I felt sorry for myself. Megan should be happy now that everything was out in the open. I thought spitefully to myself as I rolled my eyes. She was understandably upset with me but she refused to view this from my perspective. She didn't care one bit about where I was coming from.
As I laid in bed, my mind betrayed me as an image of Jaxon materialized.
He was the last person I wanted to think about. But seeing him again, after so long, brought back so many- I stopped myself from even analyzing what I had felt. Instead, I thought about the look on his face when I told him that I was pregnant but planning on terminating. The way he looked, my stomach instantly twisted up with guilt inside me. I tried not to dwell on any of this. I shuffled around in my bed, trying to get comfortable but I felt restless after our conversation. I needed to get to sleep because tomorrow I had an early appointment at the abortion clinic.
*****
Later that night, I woke up to pee. I glanced over at my nightstand and the time read 12:46 am. Hmmm, I thought it would have been more like 3 or 4 in the morning. I stretched lightly before getting out of my bed.
I used the toilet, washed my hands, and turned off the lights. But before I could step one foot out of my bathroom door, I walked right into a hard, unmoving chest. At first, I was gripped with fear, as my fight or flight instincts tried to process whether I should run or fight my way out of this. Ultimately, I decided to fight. I began wailing on the intruder and putting all my force into my attacks until a strong steady hand gripped both of my wrists to stop me. I tried to catch my breath as I looked up at the intruder. Immediately, my breath hitched as recognition washed over me. What the hell? What was Jaxon doing in my bedroom?" I punched Jaxon, one more time, hard in the chest. I was frustrated that he scared the shit out of me. I forcefully pulled my wrists from his grasp and stepped around him.
"What the hell are you doing here Jaxon?" I asked, sounding frustrated. I went over to my nightstand and bent down to turn on the light. I didn't notice that Jaxon stood closer to me until I stood back up and glanced back in his direction. I was keenly aware of his close proximity.
"We need to talk." He said and I nearly laughed. This must have been a joke right?
"At almost 1 a.m. in the morning? What's there to even speak about?" I questioned him. Jaxon stepped closer inside of my personal space and my heart started to speed up. I tried to ignore the way my stomach began to knot and twist together but there was no denying that, even after all this time, this man had some sort of pull over me. I refused to turn all the way around and give him my full attention. If I was being completely honest, I didn't trust myself.
"We need to talk about us." His voice was deep and low as he hovered behind me. He was way too close and I felt suffocated. My mind was screaming for him to, back the hell up, but for some reason I stayed silent. He seemed to take my silence as an invitation to advance even closer to me until I eventually felt his hands on my shoulders. A shiver ran down my spine as I froze in place. Who gave him the right to touch me? I thought to myself.
"There is no, us Jaxon." I eventually spoke up but I sounded pathetic. I sounded like I was trying to convince myself more than actually convincing him.
"So you mean to tell me you don't feel anything when I touch you like this?" He asked me as he brazenly caressed his fingers down both of my arms. Fuck! I knew I was in trouble when goosebumps arose on my skin.
"Stop Jaxon." I finally forced the words out and Jaxon stopped moving his fingers. I felt a sense of loss.
"Tell me you don't feel anything for me and I'll leave you alone right now." He said, sounding a little more frustrated. I cleared my throat in order to speak clearly but my voice still came out as a whisper.
"I don't feel-" Jaxon stopped me abruptly before challenging me again.
"Be woman enough and look me in the eyes when you say it Jasmine." I gulped hard. His presence felt like it was drowning me and feeling his hard solid body on my back didn't make things easier. I didn't want to turn around. I felt like my feet was planted to the ground. It was evident that Jaxon wasn't here to play. Instead, he shuffled me around to face him.
"You shouldn't be here." I said pathetically, trying to get him to leave.
"I should be where ever my woman is." He said it so confidently, and another shiver coursed through my body at the sound of his words.
"I'm not yours." He grabbed the sides of my face with both hands and pulled me into him. He leaned his forehead against mine and I immediately shut my eyes to block him out. He was so close to me that I could feel his breathe tickle my face.
"Open your eyes and look at me Jas." He challenged me. I kept my eyes shut for a moment longer before building up the courage to finally open them. My breath hitched as I became lost in the depths of his blue eyes. It was all too much. I tried to pull away from him but he held me firmly in place, forcing me to see the emotions in his soul.
"I want this baby Jasmine." He leaned up and kissed the top of my head before continuing. "And I'm glad that it's with you." He leaned back down and kissed my forehead. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as the sound of my blood flooded my ears. I picked my brain for any reason I could find to push him away. I was scared out of my mind. I shook his hands off of me.
"You're with Marcy and you have a child on the-" Jaxon cut me off sounding frustrated.
"Baby, the only child I have is with you. And don't worry about Marcy, after this weekend she'll be gone for good." The sound of him claiming his baby so quickly made me feel warm. He had an answer for everything but how could I trust that?
"We fight and bicker every chance we get." I couldn't help but point out the negatives in our relationship but he wasn't deterred.
"Since we're pointing out the obvious...." Jaxon trailed off as he came back into my personal space and gripped the back of my head. "We also fuck so passionately; our connection is so strong. I've never felt anything like it with any other woman. And knowing that you have my child growing inside you, turns me the fuck on." With that being said, he leaned in way to close to my face but stopped short. He seemed to be waiting for me to pull away. But I couldn't move if I wanted to. His words were echoing in my mind. Taking my silence as a sign, he slowly closed the distance between our lips and the moment I felt his touch, my pussy quivered with need. As our lips connected, I instinctively relaxed into his embrace. I felt consumed with white hot need for this man.
After what felt like an eternity, Jaxon pulled back with a smirk on his face.
"What were you saying about us not being good together?" He taunted me and I couldn't help but smile at his antics. "I want you-" He paused and shook his head. "No, no. I NEED you Jasmine and I need this baby too." He said so assuredly. Maybe I should stop fighting this; stop fighting him. I was still scared but maybe this could work? With his hands at the back of my head, he pulled me in for another kiss and I didn't resist. His kisses felt so right, they were so comforting. I needed something to take off some of the stress I had been feeling lately. He spoke against my lips.
"You're not alone baby." He kissed me gently. "Let me be your crutch. Let me take care of you." My heart melted at the sound of his words. I was getting lost too easily and I needed to compose myself. I smirked before abruptly pulling out of his grip. I pushed him away playfully and walked casually towards the door.
"Ok Casanova. It's past my bedtime and it's time for you to go." Jaxon gazed at me skeptically but didn't move. My smile widened as I looked at him. It was the first time I'd smiled in weeks. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Ok, Jaxon. You've got me thinking about a whole lot. How bout you come back when you've dealt with Marcy and we can talk more later." Jaxon gave me a sly look before strolling up beside me. He stood in front of me while caressing my arms lightly.
"I got you girl." He leaned down to place a kiss on my lips but I turned my face just in time for him to kiss my cheek. He pulled back with his eyes squinting angrily at me. I shrugged my shoulders and smirked mischievously.
"No more Jaxon. You might be all bark and no bite. I can promise you that for now, I'll hold off from doing anything life-altering." My smile fell and I looked at him seriously. "But I'm scared Jaxon and I need you to show me you're actually in this with me. I don't want to be played.." I lowered my voice for what I was going to say next because it was awkward bringing this back up. I repeated myself before finishing my statement. "I don't want to be played like high school."
Jaxon nodded his head in understanding before softly grazing my cheek with the pad of his thumb. His hand lingered on my face a little while longer before he opened the door to walk out. He stopped abruptly.
"Jasmine?" He called my name and I gazed into his eyes, curious to know what he had to say.
"I love you more than life. I love you beyond human understanding." With that being said. He walked out of my room leaving me speechless with my heart pounding wildly in my chest.
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