Lady K
Natalie had herself wrapped up in her bed. She cuddled herself and leaped slightly every time she heard the rumbling sound of thunder. The splattering sound of rain hitting the windows got louder each time she got to another decade of her rosary. She stopped praying for a second and then drew a deep breath. It was really hard for her to concentrate after everything she had heard Susan tell Christian back at the hospital. This was why she hated to eavesdrop and now that she did, she was scared out of her mind. She could barely sleep since then.
It had been exactly two days.
Two days since the shooting, two days since Benjamin had been in a coma. There was no positive update from the doctors and at that point, everyone was scared out of their senses, especially her husband. He had not left the hospital in two days. They were all supposed to take turns to watch Benjamin but for some reason, Christian wanted to do that on his own and it made her really worried about him.
She had later stopped by the hospital at noon and he wasn't there. She was told he had left. He wasn't at the office too, his phone was switched off when she had tried to call him with her Nanny's number so it didn't look like she cared what happened to him. This was why she was cuddled up in her bed scared to death. She wanted to know why, to know what was going through his head. God, she really hoped Susan's manipulations had not gotten to him at all.
"Please." She whispered, shutting her eyes for a second. "Please keep him safe." She begged God.
She really needed a miracle because she knew the man she had married. She knew the lengths he could go to in getting this self imposed birthright of his. She knew his insecurities and she was really scared he had given the enemy a chance to fuel them.
She jumped up quickly the moment she heard her door open, turning just immediately to see who it was. She placed her hand on her chest to draw deep relief breaths silently when she saw him, even when she saw the state he was in. He was drunk, it was no wonder he was walking into her room like it was his.
Two years of being married and they never for one day slept in each other's company. Guess he had to be drunk to walk into the only place that didn't have anything to do with him. Natalie got up quickly. She had a long look of surprise in her eyes as she watched him throw himself on her bed still with his shoes on.
Natalie took a minute to actually celebrate the fact that he was okay in her head before she made a U-turn around her huge bed to where he was, her hands folded beneath her breasts with a huge frown on her face.
"What are you doing?" She asked him. No, that wasn't the right question...
"Where have you been?" She pushed on in a demanding tone. "How could you just leave the hospital all day? Leave father alone?" She needed a reason to back up her reason for asking about his whereabouts. Fortunately, caring for Benjamin had become that reason.
She watched how he raised his hands to gently rub his forehead. He was getting a migraine already and that strong stench of alcohol, lord, just how many bottles did he have to drink?
"Why did you agree to babysit if you knew you weren't going to? I even called your office and you weren't there either. Don't you know how important it is that one of us has to be there? What if the press gets a hold of what's happening first? Do you even realize how much is at risk here? Have you forgotten how-"
"Could you please," He cut her off. "Could you not nag me right now? My head is pounding and I can't take any more of your imposing questions."
Was that it? Was he really not going to say anything about where he was? She watched him shut his eyes and then she exhaled. Her instincts were right, something was off. She could feel how sad he was from where she stood. She could tell how much of a burden he was trying to live with at that moment. She was just grateful he was back, maybe he didn't need to explain. Maybe she shouldn't know. She knew he needed to rest anyway.
She walked to the bed and then grabbed a pillow. She turned to leave.
"Where are you going?"
His voice brought her to a stop. She turned to him again. He was sitting straight and staring at her now. She looked around to make sure he was actually talking to her and then when she was sure he was, she shrugged her shoulders.
"What does it look like?" She asked him. "You're in my bed. I have to sleep in one of the guest rooms."
"Oh?" He raised one brow and scratched it gently. He had no idea how he even got there. He chuckled. "It's funny." He turned to Natalie who just watched him wondering what was so funny. "It's funny how we've been married for a while now and I've never actually been in your room. That's pretty insane."
Yes it was, but she wasn't the one that made the rules.
"We can't even sleep in the same bed." He tapped the bed gently.
Natalie rolled her eyes. He was obviously not sober yet and was still out of his mind. She had no intentions of entertaining his jokes.
"My own wife would rather spend the night in a guest room than share a bed with me. It's really crazy."
Natalie exhaled. She could see how water dripped from his clothes to the bed and from his shoes to the ground. That was the first time she had realized that he was actually soaked by the rain and he was probably going to fall asleep in all those wet clothes if she didn't do anything about it. The least she could do was help him out of it so he didn't catch a cold.
She could have called the maids or her Nanny but it was one - thirty in the morning and she didn't need to bother anyone. Plus it was a long walk to the staff quarters. This was her punishment anyway, part of what she had to go through for being the only one to care so much for a relationship with a man that didn't care about her. She exhaled, walking back to the bed and throwing the pillow back on it. Going to the guest room could wait till she had made sure he didn't have any reasons to catch a cold in the morning.
She walked to her dressing room and in a minute, she was out with a thick robe. She threw that on the bed too.
"You're dripping wet." She told him. "You need to get out of your clothes."
"What?"
Like she was going to repeat herself. She hurried to him and pulled off his jacket, being as gentle as she could. His shirt was next. Christian surprisingly sat still. She threw all the wet items on the ground and then turned to his shoes. It was time to get them off too. She squatted in front of him and reached for his right leg while he watched her. Giving her all of his attention. She pulled his shoe out.
"Stay with me tonight."
Natalie froze.
In a different world and a completely different situation, she'd have actually payed him mind, but this was not a different world. The man in front of her was drunk and out of his mind. He had no idea what he was talking about and was probably going to forget it all by morning. The irony.
She went back to pulling his socks off.
"I'm not playing." He told her. "I mean every word. I want to stay here tonight, with you-"
"Are you going to do it?"
She cut him off because she had had enough, enough of hiding it, enough of being in conflict with her conscience. She needed to know, she needed the truth. She raised her head to meet his. "What Susan said the other day." He frowned immediately.
She noticed.
Maybe he wasn't that drunk anyway.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"You can't do it." She told him. "You can't listen to her. You shouldn't let her get in your head."
He scoffed.
"You should mind your own business and stop worrying about mine." He glared at her.
That was it. The old Christian was back, the mean one, the man she had married. Maybe he was right, maybe she was doing too much, maybe she needed to mind her business from that moment onwards. What was she thinking? She was done. This man in front of her was just too arrogant to be dealt with. She just couldn't.
She got up slowly and grabbed her pillow.
"Get into the robe and make yourself comfortable."
She turned to leave when his hand grabbed hers.
It was the first time.
The first time he ever touched her. The first time he ever grabbed her hand or stopped her from walking away. She froze as felt a cold chill pass through her spine.
She turned.
"Don't leave." He told her, staring deeply into her eyes. "Stay."
Was that some kind of a joke?
"I'm sorry."
That was also the first time he had ever told her those words. The first time he had ever said those words to anyone.
"I'm sorry I was mean to you earlier I just-" he drew a deep breath. "I don't want to be alone right now. I can't be alone right now or I don't know what I'd do."
Were those tears making his eyes glitter? Christian had tears in his eyes? Like real tears? Wow. Natalie could feel her entire body go numb. What exactly was going on with him?
"Natalie," he took a step towards her. "Natalie I did something horrible today. I made a very bad decision just like she wanted. I did what she wanted without even realizing it."
"Christian-"
"And you know what's worse? I didn't do it because she asked me to, I did it because I wanted to. I can't let everything go down the drain, I can't let anyone take what's mine. I just can't-"
He quickly placed a hand on her cheek, his eyes looking deep in hers. She didn't stop him. She was lost in his eyes. At that moment, it felt like Natalie had lost words to say.
"I need someone to talk to, don't leave me." He begged her. "I just need a distraction. I don't want to think of anything else. I just want it to go away even if it's just for a short moment. I want to feel something, anything else besides this anger and guilt I just- I don't want to be alone."
Natalie had tears clouding her eyes too. Seeing him that way, seeing him so sad broke her heart. How was his sadness so contagious?
"What is going on with you Christian?" She asked because she really wanted to know. "I'm worried sick about you and I can't help you if you don't talk to me-"
Christian placed his other hand on the other side of her face immediately, pushed himself closer to her and then kissed her deeply, cutting her off and making her choke on her words. He pushed himself on her gently, pushing her to the table with his mouth still on hers.
Perfect timing.
Natalie didn't know what was going on, but she found herself giving in to him. She didn't stop him at all. Why? Why was she letting him in so easily? How was she letting him do what he wanted? She couldn't stop him, she didn't want to. She thought she had it in her but all that toughness tendered under his embrace, the very moment he grabbed her arm. She was roped into the moment just like he was.
With one swipe of his hands, everything on the table came crashing into the ground and he pulled Natalie on top of it at once, his mouth kissing her neck slowly as he took off what was left of his shirt and threw it right on the ground.
"Christian."
She could only call out his name in a whisper because he was doing things to her, things she couldn't explain. He grabbed on to the neck of her nightdress and ripped it apart. Hunger, he was hungry for her, he wanted her and he wanted her immediately. She could feel the warmth on her chest as her bare skin rubbed his.
"Christian." She whispered his name again. This man had her under his control and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. Her body was unintentionally doing everything he wanted. She wanted it, she wanted him. She wasn't hiding it, she possibly couldn't.
Christian reached for the lights. It went off and everything else became history.