DAY THREE
Hoseok was starting to be able to count how much sleep he was getting. Dark circles were starting to form under his eyes from sleep exhaustion. Jimin's worry had increased tenfold. Now, he hardly wanted to leave Hoseok's side. He didn't know why Hoseok wasn't able to get sleep. He had noticed the diminishing appetite, the increased spacing out. He wasn't able to offer Hoseok a distraction anymore. He would continously insist to stay with Hoseok instead of doing what he was supposed to do.
"I really think I should stay with you." Jimin frowned."You really aren't okay. You could get sick."
"I'll be fine Jimin." Hoseok said tiredly."Go focus on work. I'm okay. Really."
Jimin knew Hoseok was lying but didn't push the matter.
As he was changing, Hoseok drunk in his lean and agile body. As if noticing Hoseok's stare, Jimin turned, smirking at him.
"See something you like?" Jimin asked teasingly. A small smile appeared on Hoseok's face.
Maybe this will help get my mind off of things.
"I think I'll take the day off." Jimin murmured, tossing his shirt to the side.
Jimin didn't go to work that day. Neither did Hoseok.
DAY FOUR
Satisfied that Hoseok was acting more like his former self, Jimin went to go train the trainees, with the condition that Hoseok stayed in his room once more. So, of course, Hoseok did what any person would have done.
He left.
Hoseok didn't know where to go. He still didn't want to go back to his room. He hadn't gone in there in days, not after Yoongi went off to train. He wandered around the hallways, stopping briefly to smile at others and making casual conversation. After walking around for what seemed like hours, Hoseok stopped in front of the development room.
"How are TWINABA280261 and TWINBAB280261 doing?" Hoseok asked. The developer smiled.
"Oh, Jung Hoseok." he said warmly."I wasn't expecting you to come to the development department this early."
Hoseok smiled wanly."Well, I don't have anything better to do yet. I was ordered to be on room arrest by Jimin."
He nodded once."No problem. Development is great so far. At this rate, they'll be born within a month."
"A month?" Hoseok echoed."Wait, but Namjoon—"
"He received orders to force the process to go faster." the developer explained."It's only meant to increase. The higher up wants to speed up the process. Namjoon can't say no to him."
Hoseok frowned. That left him less time to come clean to Jimin."Does Jimin know of this?"
"Not yet. Namjoon plans to tell Jimin." the developer said, turning away from him."Would you like to see the current projectile for development?"
"What do you mean he's going to tell Jimin?"
"Well, yes. He's planning on telling all Alphas at the next meeting once Yoongi comes back from training." he said, head tilting to the side. "Why? Is there a problem?"
"No." Hoseok mustered a smile."No reason. Yes, I'd like to see the projectile. Can you send them to me so that I can see it from Jimin's room."
He gave me a funny look."Of course. Good to see you Hoseok."
With that, Hoseok quickly left, hurriedly heading towards Jimin's room once more. Bile was threatening to rise up his throat once more.
1 New Message.
What the hell was he going to do now?
DAY FIVE
Hoseok couldn't stop looking at the projectiles. As soon as Jimin left his room, Hoseok laid them out in front of him.
View TWINBAB280261 and TWINABA280261?
In an instant, their symptoms and attributes showed. The demographics of each of them showed in front of me. The male was projected to have both Hoseok and Yoongi's attributes, having Hoseok's eyes, Yoongi's raven hair, and his facial structure. The female was similar but had Hoseok's hair and Yoongi's eyes.
They were both tall, like Hoseok, shared the same lips, ones that resembled a mix of both Yoongi and his. A warm feeling spread through Hoseok, the only real emotion he had felt since Yoongi left. A smile made its way onto Hoseok's face.
Looking at their projections made them seem much more real and although Hoseok hated to admit it, it did ignite excitement in him. The thought of having children, to look after them was something that he could now see, a reality that had him buzzing with purpose.
Stop! It's just the Perfect Match talking. You don't actually want children. You don't even have parents for God's sake.
Hoseok sighed, clearing away the spreadsheets before collapsing onto Jimin's bed.
What am I going to do?
DAY SIX
Hoseok didn't have the strength to get out of bed anymore. He kept insisting to Jimin that he didn't need anything, that he was fine. The food Jimin had brought Hoseok remained untouched. Hoseok didn't want to eat. He didn't want to do anything.
Hoseok stared glumly at the ceiling. The temporary happiness he had felt yesterday was long gone. All that was left was emptiness.
He missed Yoongi. This was a consequence of their bond. The longer apart they were, the more painful it would be for him.
Hoseok had severely underestimated this bond. It was draining his energy, his emotions, everything from him.
Come back.
DAY SEVEN
Hoseok couldn't see any color. Everything was dark. He was numb, a black shade in between the different rays of white. He couldn't do anything about it. Jimin couldn't do anything about it.
And his inability to do anything was killing him.
Jimin looked more tired than usual. Hoseok could see it in his eyes. He looked broken down, a bit defeated. Hoseok could only assume they were bothering Jimin about him. Maybe letting him know why Hoseok was deteriorating the way he was. Bullying Jimin perhaps, because he was still with Hoseok even though in reality there was no way they could be together.
At least not anymore.
Jimin was always a sensitive one. Even with his bloodthirsty, rough demeanor, he was a big softie on the inside. Words hurt him. Actions hurt him more. He wasn't immune to the snide remarks made between the three of them.
Yoongi, Jimin, and Hoseok. A love triangle? A threesome?
The list was endless for them.
But Hoseok didn't have the heart to worry about that right now.
Hoseok's hands went up to his face. He was burning up. Sweating. Coming down with a fever. Still, he made no move to change himself. He couldn't bother.
Not when all Hoseok wanted wasn't here with him.
DAY EIGHT
Hoseok got up from Jimin's bed, almost collapsing onto the floor. He wobbled out of the room, head spinning in circles. His vision was blurring but he tried his hardest to walk. After what felt like forever he made it to his destination.
Yoongi looked the same. His expression had not changed from the last time Hoseok saw him. He still looked peaceful, even with Hoseok being able to hardly focus on him. He touched his chest, the mark on his chest illuminating at the touch. Hoseok smiled bitterly, mentally cursing the fact that he couldn't feel what Hoseok was feeling.
Hoseok hated how desperately he needed Yoongi. Without him, Hoseok couldn't function.
There was ringing in his ears. Hoseok stepped away from Yoongi, hands going up to his head. His legs gave up under him. He could hear voices around him, but he couldn't locate them. They sounded too far away, swimming blurringly in his ears.
Yoongi's face was the last thing Hoseok saw before his world turned black.
DAY SIXTEEN
Hoseok awoke with lights being shined onto his face. He winced at the impact, covering his eyes with his arms. Groggily Hoseok sat up, looking at Jimin. Jimin's face flooded with relief.
"Oh good, you're awake." Jimin exclaimed."I thought you weren't going to wake up. Ever."
"What happened?" Hoseok asked confused. The Nurse sighed, looking at Hoseok straight in the eyes.
"You were found in the Alpha A training room completely knocked out. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't wake you up. Upon revision, we realized you've undergone complete malnourishment, as well as no sleep. It's a miracle you're even up right now. Have you not been sleeping well? Or eating?"
"Well, I can't say I've had. I've been having trouble sleeping and I don't have the appetite for anything." Hoseok confessed. The Nurse nodded seriously.
"Jimin can you step outside for a moment?" the Nurse asked."I need to talk to Hoseok alone."
"Of course."
Once Jimin stepped out, the Nurse turned to Hoseok."You haven't been with your Perfect Match have you?"
"He's out training." Hoseok replied, feeling more awake than he had in days."Why?"
"Your bond must be extremely strong." She commented."You haven't been conscious for over a week." She eyed me warily."How are you feeling now?"
"Better." Hoseok paused."I feel energized. Well-rested."
"Good." she responded."You should be. You've been hooked up to machines, forced to rest. Your body shut down. Did you know that? If it weren't for the fact that you had been developed, you wouldn't even be here right now. Not even your enhancements could protect you from collapsing for long. In fact, your enhancements kept you in the dormant state you were in longer than it should have. How dependent are you of your Perfect Match?"
"Dependent?" Hoseok almost scoffed."I'm not dependent on him."
"Let me rephrase." she said."How far along have the two of you gone in the match process?"
"Well, we've only kissed." Hoseok frowned."And then he took something that's supposed to hinder the glow of the mark. Said that it would burden less and that it would help with not messing anything up."
"For him. Not for you." she shook her head."Hoseok, the bond is not one that can be damped. Unless you're taking the same thing he is, you're exposed to the bond's consequences. You and your match's bond is incredibly strong. It was made that way. The hindering, although it has helped some, is hurting you."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you don't just want him Hoseok." the Nurse said simply."You need him. You're too far gone to get out of the match unscathed. No matter which way you go, all signs point to your dependency on him. Trust me, it was tested multiple times. You crave for him Hoseok. Crave for him far more than the one waiting for you outside this door."
Hoseok shook his head."That's not possible. I-i love Jimin and I—"
"Whether you love Jimin or not doesn't matter." she responded indifferently."Did your love help you from collapsing? There was a reason why you were found by Yoongi's side than by Jimin's. You know it. Accept it. I have already alerted Namjoon on your awakening. He'll probably contact you by tomorrow about this."
"I don't believe you." Hoseok shook his head rapidly."This is obviously some sick, twisted up thing to get me to accept Yoongi. But I won't, alright? My heart belongs to Jimin!"
She shrugged."Just because you tell yourself something over and over again doesn't make it true. I'm not saying you love Yoongi. I'm just saying your bond is causing your heart and body to move in a different direction than it was before. Now, I expect you to come back here. You're free to leave but you have to come here so you can take your medicine. Expect Namjoon to call."
Without waiting for a response she walked. Jimin walked in, confusion laced in his expression at the sight of Hoseok's anger. He sat down next to Hoseok and put a hand on his shoulder.
"What happened?" he asked softly."You're angry."
Hoseok mustered yet another smile for him."Nothing. Let's go. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too you dork." Jimin smiled crookedly."A lot." His eyes assessed Hoseok's before darting down to his lips. Without a moment's hesitation, Hoseok leaned in, desperate to feel Jimin's warm lips on his.
Jimin pulled away after a few moments."Come on. I'm sick and tired of being in this room."
They walked hand in and hand. Jimin's smile wouldn't leave his face. That's when Hoseok realized it.
He hadn't felt anything from the kiss.
DAY SEVENTEEN
"When are you going to let go?" was the first question Namjoon asked. Hoseok sighed loudly, lips pursing so as to not disrespect him."I know what happened to you Jung Hoseok. I know. It's only going to get worse!"
"I don't feel anything for Yoongi!" Hoseok yelled back."I don't care what the Nurse or what you tell me. I have no feelings for him."
"You're seriously so dense!" Namjoon exploded, expression seethed with rage."Stop blinding yourself! Your stubbornness almost led to your death! If you didn't have any feelings for Yoongi I wouldn't be having this conversation with you right now. You know it. I know it. Look at the room you're in for fuck's sake! You're not in Jimin's room anymore. You're in yours!"
Hoseok was taken aback by Namjoon's tone."What's that supposed to do with anything?"
He scoffed. "Do you think I don't know you've been spending your days in Jimin's room? You couldn't bear to be in your room. Not without Yoongi. Better to sleep with someone that could provide you some comfort while you wished for someone else."
Hoseok said nothing at Namjoon's accusation. It was true and he knew it. Namjoon continued.
"The feelings you felt for Jimin aren't there anymore. The faster you admit it, the faster your bond will stop punishing you." Namjoon's voice grew agitated."Can't you see? You're inflicting pain onto yourself because of your stubbornness to let go of the past. You're hurting yourself. You'll get yourself killed at this rate."
"No." Hoseok whispered, shaking his head."Namjoon, I love Jimin. He is my one. The one for me. I can't let him go."
"You can. You don't want to." Namjoon responded back, anger intensifying in his tone."What is the first you think about when you wake up in the morning? Who are you thinking about right now? Hoseok, you don't feel what you used to feel with Jimin. Not anymore."
Namjoon pinched the bridges of his nose."Honestly, Hoseok, don't fight something you can't. Perfect Matches are meant to be. You and Jimin are not."
The coldness of the sentence made Hoseok flinch. His eyes were starting to water, he could feel the sting in them. But Hoseok wasn't crying because of Namjoon's words.
He was crying because Namjoon was right. Namjoon was right and Hoseok hated it.
Hoseok hated that he couldn't muster the same feelings he had before. He couldn't feel anything for Jimin anymore. His thoughts were all consumed by Yoongi.
At Hoseok's expression, Namjoon softened.
"I'm sorry Hoseok." Namjoon said sadly."I know you have your history with him, but everyone knows you can't pick anyone over your soulmate."
"I know." Hoseok's voice came out hoarse."I know. Why did it have to be me Namjoon? I didn't want this. None of this. Why me?"
"No one does Hoseok. It's why the Perfect Match system must cease to exist." Namjoon said softly."You haven't even told Jimin about the twins have you?"
"No. I wasn't planning on to anytime soon." I responded, my voice cracking a bit."I didn't know how to. I was told you would tell all Alphas, however, once Yoongi came back."
Namjoon nodded."Yes. He comes back tomorrow and the meeting is scheduled the day after."
"Tomorrow?"
"Yes," Namjoon confirmed. He paused before continuing. "Hoseok, break up with Jimin. It'll be better that way. Please. Don't hurt him more. Don't hurt yourself either."
With that note, Namjoon hung up. Hoseok got up from his bed and walked into the bathroom, stealing a glance at himself in the mirror.
His cheeks were damp from the crying Hoseok didn't know had started. His eyes were red, a tight feeling suffocating his chest. He sunk into his knees, the tears continuously streaming down his cheeks, staining ghs shirt. Hoseok hugged his knees, attempting to stop his shaking body.
Hoseok didn't want to let Jimin go. He didn't. He wanted things to work with him. It worked in the past. Why couldn't it work anymore?
Hoseok was dropping Jimin for someone that he had hardly met, someone who he had only known for a few weeks.
What hurt worse of all was the fact that hurting Jimin wasn't what was hurting Hoseok.
It was Hoseok admitting to himself that all he wanted now was Yoongi. It didn't hurt Hoseok to break Jimin's heart.
It hurt him to be vulnerable to losing Yoongi's.
DAY EIGHTEEN
Turned out, crying your heart out did a number on you and your ability to sleep. Hoseok woke up on the bathroom floor, the only thing on his mind the importance of today.
Yoongi's coming back from training.
Hoseok went towards the direction of the Alpha A training room, uneasiness bubbling in his insides. His cheeks were heated, his heart racing uncontrollably in his chest, so much it felt like it was about to burst out of his body. Hoseok was finally about to see Yoongi. But worry seized him, worry that he was trying desperately to calm down.
"I knew you'd come here."
Hoseok was met by Jimin, who was leaning against the wall. He looked angry, disappointed, but most of all hurt. Jimin walked towards Hoseok, causing him to take a step back. He noticed, stopping in his tracks. He looked at Hoseok's face."Have you been crying?"
"Jimin don't you have other things to do?" Hoseok asked, almost irritated. "Why are you here?"
"Because my boyfriend hasn't talked to me in two days!" Jimin snapped."He's locked himself up in his room, blocked my entry, and refuses to talk to me."
"Jimin now is not the time." Hoseok said exasperated, walking past him."Yoongi's going to wake up any second if he's not already awake. Out of my way."
"Are you serious?" Jimin scoffed."You're worried about him? You should be worrying about me. About us."
Ignoring him, Hoseok continued walking, stopping only when feeling Jimin's hand circled around his wrist.
"So now you're going to ignore me?" Jimin said, hurt in his voice."Hoseok, baby, talk to me. Please."
Hoseok turned back to him."I don't have time for you right now! Right now I—"
"Hoseok."
At the sound of the voice, Hoseok froze. His heart began to race faster, breaths becoming fast-paced. A smile made its way into Hoseok's face at the sight of his face.
Yoongi.
It was as if time had slowed down exponentially. Everything faded from the background. All Hoseok's eyes could focus on was on him. He drunk in Yoongi's appearance, feeling his eyes drift downwards, locking in on Yoongi's lips.
The only thing I could think about was having his lips on mine, a sin that I was prepared to commit for all eternity.
END OF PART ONE