You know that you drive me crazy
But it's one of the things I like
Cause I know when you need it, baby
That I got that..
________
"You are about to get on my nerves with this silent treatment. Damn. Did you hear anything I said? What's wrong with you, today?"
Lost in my thoughts, I glanced at Jayce and sighed. I hadn't heard a thing she said. It was an entire week later, and I couldn't shake the image of Beyoncé's face in between my legs for shit. Or, the look in her eyes right before I kissed her. Dammit, Nika. This was all my fault.
"I'm fine. Just tired is all," I lied, as we walked through the mall.
"Well perk the fuck up, then. Feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. I mean, I talk to myself sometimes, but this isn't one of those times."
I chuckled and shook my head. Jayce was a mess, and clearly so was I. I don't know what had gotten into me that day. I'm not sure if it was the fact that I was so over Meek's bullshit, or if I was interested in Beyoncé. There's no way. I'm not even going to speak that into existence. What I do know is, things between Bey and I will forever be changed, and I was sad as hell that I was the cause of it.
Had the receptionist from the front desk not buzzed the door, delivering a package I had ordered weeks ago, I can almost guarantee Bey would have been sliding something else besides her tongue up inside of me. I needed figure out how women stayed strong around their friends after they had sex. I was going completely out of my mind.
Beyoncé leaving that morning was beyond awkward as well. I avoided her at all cost once I closed the front door. My loft was only but so big, and the open floor plan didn't leave me room to hide. I had rushed to the bathroom and waited until I heard her tell me she was leaving to come out. It didn't matter that she had left, though. I could still feel, smell, and taste her everywhere on my body.
"Are you going on a date or something?" I asked Jayce, as she picked up a silk, navy blue dress from the rack. It was cute as hell, but where was she going in that was my question.
"With who, Nic? I just like the dress. Dang, I can't get it for the day I do go on one?"
"Yes," I laughed. "I was just curious. I'm surprised you're even off work today."
Picking up a pair of heavily destroyed, cut up jeans, Jayce looked at me and with both shook our heads no and laughed. "Trash. I swear they make anything these days, and hoes will buy it claiming they're making a fashion statement."
"Right."
"But, girl. I'm so ready to branch out on my own and get my own salon I can taste it. I've been dreaming about it for the last year or so. The freedom of making your own schedule, taking days off, not having to deal with petty employees. Child, the Lord gone come through, watch," she ranted, as we walked toward the shoe section.
I believed Jayce could have anything she put her mind to. She was a hustler and grinded as one should. She went from doing nails in the living room of her mother's house and getting fussed at for all the traffic, to building her clientele up even more and getting hired at a shop. She had started from the bottom, but the top was even closer now.
"And your dreams will come true because you're living like you want them too. Now, had you been sitting around here not doing a thing, I wouldn't even be taking you seriously."
"Thanks, girl. You better not be saying that shit cause I do your nails for the low," she laughed, and I smacked her arm.
"Shut up. I still pay regular price, so go ahead with all that. Being friends doesn't pay bills, boo."
She nodded her head. "You're right unless you have a friend like Beyoncé. My sis be cashing out on you." She laughed, and I was standing there hyperventilating just off the mention of her name.
"You sure you're good?" she asked, giving me the side eye.
I smiled, thankful my phone had started ringing. "Yeah. Let me get this. I'll be over here while you check out."
Hesitantly, with a questioning gaze, she nodded her head before heading toward the register. Releasing a breath, I looked down at my screen and guilt swallowed my entire being.
"Why is she calling me?" I questioned before swiping my thumb across the screen. "H-Hey, Brooke."
"Hey, Onika. Are you busy?" Her voice was kind of shaky, and I wanted to hurl. Lord, please don't tell me she found out about my hoeish ways.
"Um, no. Not really, doing some shopping. What's going on."
"I know how close you and Beyoncé are, and I just... you know sometimes feel like we could be closer."
"You and I?" I questioned, puzzled by where this conversation was going.
She giggled. "No. I think we're fine where we're at. I'm talking about Beyoncé and me."
I sighed, and felt myself rolling my eyes, but stopped before they could roll completely to the back of my head.
"Um, I don't know what response you're looking for exactly."
"You're closer to her than anyone. Does she ever mention our relationship, and where she wants it to go?"
It took everything in me not to hang up on the poor girl. She was annoying me, and that had never really happened before. I didn't have a problem with her, but I guess after her girlfriend..
"You know what. Never mind. I don't know why I called you."
"No, no. It's fine. I was looking at a pair of shoes," I lied. "Beyoncé mentions little things, but you know she's extremely private about her relationships. Even with me. Is something wrong?"
"I don't think so. In fact, I know there's not. She's been extremely affectionate this past week, and I know my birthday is coming up, but I can't help but think she's up to something."
Yeah, or she feels as guilty as I do. She has to. I didn't know what to say. Not quite sure what she meant by affectionate, I just assumed she had been all up under her. Yeah, that had to be it because I hadn't seen her since last week. She was dodging me just like I was dodging her, and she had a key to my place.
"You know how she is Brooke. She may be up to something, but I honestly don't know what."
She sighed again before asking, "She loves me, right? She tells me all the time, but does she love me, love me?"
I shook my head. I don't know why she felt the need to ask me instead of Bey, but I guess being her best friend and all, I had to answer the tough questions. And it was even tougher now because of what had transpired. I knew Beyoncé loved her; she had told me herself, but my brain couldn't help but formulate the assumption that she loved me more. I was losing it.
"She does, Brooke. And if she didn't, you'd know. You have nothing to worry about. Grammy's birthday is coming up as well, so she may just be needing a little more love than usual, you know?"
She gasped, and I knew right then she had no clue. "Y-Yeah. I know. I'll be sure to shower her with nothing but love, and good sex," she giggled, and I rolled my eyes completely that time. Jayce walked up and pointed to my phone, asking who was. I mouth who, and she frowned. I'm sure she was thinking the same thing I had before answering the call.
"Well, alright. Was that it?" I asked, ready to get off the phone.
"Yeah. That was all, girl. Thank you. We should make plans to hang out more," she suggested. When the hell have we ever hung out?
That was going to be a no for me. "The school year is starting soon, so I'll be kind of busy."
"That's right. You did get a little job at the high school." Little? Like her little job as a bartender?
"Right. Let me go though, girl. You have a good one."
"You too, sis."
"Girl," Jayce laughed. "The fuck did she want?"
Stuck on her calling me sis, I just shrugged. I was far, extremely far, from her sis. The word made me cringe. I don't even know why I'm so worked up. Maybe I do. I don't know. My head is everywhere. Dealing with Meek caused me enough headaches, but now I had to think about the thought of Beyoncé and I's friendship being ruined, her blaming me for ruining it, and the start of the school year starting up. I just wanted to take a damn nap. Naps cured everything. Almost. Worry still consumed you even in your slumber some days. Great.
__
part 2 for those who wanted it back.
comment suggestions for me please. i wanna give you guys something new!
vote and comment!