The housemates woke up the next morning to 'Mercy' by Badshah. Shehnaz believed in new morninga and new beginnings, so she got out of bed with hope that today would be better than yesterday, maybe things will take a turn for the better. She danced out all her worries in front of the mirror in the living room, Sidharth sat on the couch in the kitchen area from where he watched this ball of energy. A lot of things ran through his mind but he shut his mind off. He decided he'd be cordial with her all day today.
It was a little later in the afternoon, there was no task set for today, everyone were lazy and just sat around the house, talking and lazing around. He walked out of the bedroom to see Shehnaz, Rashmi and Asim listening to what Shehnaz was saying. Why is she telling them what went down between us both? Does she not know that they only use her? They only take advantage of their weakness. He saw how Shehnaz rested her head on Asim's knee who lied down in front of her, his knee folded up. Why was she getting so comfortable with him? His blood boiled at the sight.
"Roh dhukde aur." He taunted at her from the kitchen.
"Koi nahi roh raha dhukda. Main Aarti ki jhagde ke baare mein baat kar rahi hoon. Tere baare mein nahi." She cleared to him in an irritated tone.
He ignored her and walked out into the garden area.
She followed him outside. As soon as he saw her, he began taunting her ruthlessly, everything he said was along the lines of 'Asim you're so sensible.' ,'Asim you're so good looking.' and 'Asim mujhe usse bachao.'
"Main toh humesha se sab ke saath baithi thi. Phir abh kyun itna problem ho raha hai aapko?"
"Tum baitho. Unhi ke saath baitho tum."
"Kyunki aap mujhe zyada serious le rahe ho abhi?" She said making Sidharth speechless for a second.
"Bilkul nahi. Bilkul nahi." He defended, he stood up and tried to walk away.
"Aur yeh sab jo tu bolta hai na? Ki mai kissi ki nahi ho sakti. Lekin main teri thi." She called after him.
Sidharth froze and turned around to look at her, he could see how hard she was trying not show her feelings on her face because of Shefali's presence. 'thi?' Did she give up on us finally?
"Kya?" He asked her.
"Tu meri kab thi? Tu kissi ki bhi nahi hogi. Aur kissi ki bhi nahi ho sakthi." He defended and retaliated, quickly walking back inside. He wanted to hurt her more. He was finally coming to terms with what was bothering him. He had expected her to be loyal to him after the confession. But why would she? He never told her how he felt abut her. He couldn't bear the sight of Gautam's hands covering her body as he hugged her, or when she kissed him. But why? He clearly told her that he was too old for her, that nothing could happen. Why did the sight boil his blood? She was being herself, she overdid it with Gautam, but that's how she was. She was being herself but why did it hurt him now? Now he had a reason to justify his anger towards her, he clearly hated it when she was around and working according to the whims and fancies of the other team. He finally had it. He could use this reason against her.
Shehnaz ran into the bathroom, locked herself inside and cried her eyes out, it seemed like she was doing that very often in the recent times. People tried to ask her what happened, but again, she would never talk about what happened with Sidharth and her. She decided to act cordial with him, to act like nothing had gone wrong, that she wasn't hurting on the inside.
She wore a red and green Punjabi suit, she looked flawless, the dress hugged her curves perfectly, the small of her tattoo was visible on the upper part of her chest, she looked so innocently sensual. She straightened her hair and wore the biggest smile on her face, her eyes shined brightly, she was trying to pull through every moment but the innocence that glittered in her beautiful doe eyes were captivating. Sidharth watched her from his place in the bedroom, he watched how she covered her head with her dupatta while she knead the dupatta, sticking to her roots, she looked beautiful and his insides churned when she didn't come back to him through out the day to coax him. She really meant it when she said that she wouldn't come back after this. Was he creating a blunder by doing this? She literally was ready to give up everything for him and he had never received this kind of selfless love before. He wanted her to come and pacify him like she always did but it was so wrong of him to expect that from her after all the thing he said to her.
He taunted her all through out the day, he laid down next to Shefali, he let her rub his arms, he tried to get a reaction out of Shehnaz. It irritated him when she simply sat and watched him, smiling sadly at everything he was doing.
Shehnaz on the other hand, she felt like her insides were constantly getting crushed watching Sidharth, but she knew she couldn't say anything any more. She had a feeling that Sidharth was trying to get a reaction out of her and was not going to give him that.
Another day, another heartache, she thought. She was finally coming to terms with the situation, that things would never go back to how they were and she wanted to pull together all of her strength and accept it.
*****
'Dil ko tumse pyaar hua, pehili baar hua.' Shehnaz sang sweetly, making her way to the dining table.
"Tere muh se yeh gaana suit nahi karta. Dil ko sab se pyaar hua." Sidharth sang, taunting her. Shehnaz smiled softly, he was responding to her advances, even if it was in a negative way.
"Nahi nahi sorry. Mujhe sirf ek hi baar hua aur shayad ek hi baar hoga." She told him.
"Kabhi nahi" He continued.
The house fell silent and watched this bittersweet interaction between the two. They left everyone confused in the house with their dynamics. The ever expressive Sana, who was always vocal had fallen silent about her feeling this week, and Sidharth? He expressed everything he felt through anger, the worst kind. They became polar opposite all of a sudden and it left everyone bewildered
The task for captaincy was going to begin and Shehnaz knew, for whatever reason, Asim, Rashmi and Vishal had saved her from nominations and she was going to play from their side. This did not sit well with Sidharth.
"Dono jagah lotne ka yahi Fayda hai" He commented, despite being angry, she wanted to let him know that she was only paying them back for saving her, but her efforts went unheard.
The housemates were required to collect eggs and put them into their baskets and whoever had the most amount of eggs could eliminate a contestant out of the race. The planning to have someone from their own team become the captain had started.
Shehnaz was on fire as she tried to collect the eggs, she defended and fought to win the task. She noticed Arti running towards her basket and throwing the eggs in them, she was confused, surprised and somewhat grateful for the support but that soon changed when she heard Sidharth's voice.
"Arti uske basket main kyun bhar rahi hai. Nikal!" He shouted at Arti, she quickly pulled the eggs out and moved them into her own basket.
Itna khundas mere liye ki woh dekh bhi nahi paaya ki uska koyi banda mujhe support kar raha hai? She thought to herself.
The second round soon started and Shehnaz ran towards the portal that released the eggs when she was quickly grabbed by her hoodie, she was thrown onto the ground and dragged by her shirt. She winced loudly in pain as her head slammed against the ground. She silently thanked God that there was grass and not concrete there. She opened her eyes to see Shefali tackling her so hard that she couldn't move a muscle. She fought hard and got on top of Shefali, trying to pull herself out of her grip. She almost succeeded when she felt yet another pull, she felt the shirt inside her hoodie almost rip off with the force and what shocked her the most was the feeling of nails being dug into her face and chest, scratching her. She screamed again, she felt disgusted and humiliated at the treatment, she felt like she was being tossed around on National Television, she felt her face getting hot with humiliation and anger. The buzzer sounded, indicating the end of the round, Shefali loosened her grip on Shehnaz and let her go. She quickly set her clothes right and she turned around to look at Sidharth, feeling his eyes on her. For the first time, there was no sadness in her, no grief of lost friendship, she felt like she was on fire with anger, he stared at her intently, how dare he? She knew it was his idea to tackle the other person to the ground but she also knew he would never tell them to do it to her. But she was angry, she felt hurt and humiliated, the scratches on her body burnt but the agony in her burnt even fiercely. She didn't think before she ran towards his, pulled him by his collar and slammed her little hands against his chest screaming 'I HATE YOU' at him.
Sidharth physically moved in shock, he knew exactly how she felt, he let her take out her anger on him and kept his hands to himself, not stopping her. "Yeh sab teri wajah se hua hai." She screamed at him again. He didn't say anything but his patience and anger broke out when she walked away from him and sat on the single seat next to Asim, he felt himself fume when he wrapped his arms around her.
"Yeh hai teri aukat. Nauch rahi thi woh usko." Asim screamed at Sidharth. And then all hell broke lose. Sidharth swiftly walked up to Asim, screamed at him as the fight broke out. He was frustrated but he felt his heart light up when he noticed Shehnaz standing up and making her way towards them but his heart broke just as fast when he saw her wrap her arms around Asim, the same arms that wrapped around him and protected him from himself and his own anger, they were wrapped around Asim, she dragged him away from there. He fell silent, he didn't wanna put up the fight anymore but no one noticed as Shefali continued it on, making personal comments at Shehnaz and her body. That was it. She gave up.
****
Sidharth and Shehnaz's fights seemed to be never ending, they had intensified now that Asim was amidst it all. He fought for Shehnaz and she spoke for her, he protected her. It might not have been genuine but he was still comforting her in this time of trouble. Sidharth watched it all silently, but bursting at Asim every opportunity he got. His blood boiled when he spoke for Shehnaz, "Main use kuch bhi bolu, tu kaun hai uske liye bolne wala?" Behind his loud anger, Sidharth voiced out his silent insecurities. This made Shehnaz smile, genuinely, after a long time and Sidharth's tone automatically went down looking at her face.
They were giving each other a whiplash. One minute they were fighting, promising each other the end of their friendship, the next minute they silently, without much effort calmed each other's storms.
A little later, as the argument moved on, Asim called Arti Sidharth's 'fixed deposit'. Sidharth was confused as to what they meant by it. Surely not what he thinks they meant? Especially because Shehnaz agreed with them, or at least he thought she did. His team on the other hand, his so-called friends, Shefali and Paras took this as a perfect opportunity to poison an already vulnerable Sidharth's mind. They constantly provoked and instigated him against the others.
"Mujhe Shehnaz se yeh expected nahi tha." He said, they succeeded.
That night they sat alone in the garden area, despite the differences, Shehnaz just wanted to spend a few moments with him, but things were never as expected when it came to them both.
"Teri na merese aisa attachment hai jaisa kabhi kissi se nahi hua. Jaisi attachment meri cigarettes se hai. Main jaanta hoon ki mujhe nahi peena chahiye, ki woh mujhe barbaad kar raha hai lekin phir hi peeta hoon." He told her. Shehnaz gave no reaction, she just watched him as he spoke.
"Aur ek baath, yeh gaant bandh ke rakhle."
"Hmm?"
"Main zindagi mein na? Terese nafrat nahi karunga lekin tere touch mein bhi nahi rahunga."
"Nahi rahunga."
"Nahi rahunga."
"Nahi rahunga."
Sidharth repeated what he said, like he was trying to convince himself more than telling her. Shehnaz felt her heart drop to her stomach, the very man, whose arms she cannot sleep without, whose presence comforts her, that very man told her that he'd never be in touch with her. She forced herself to quickly accept it, "Nahi tu sahi hai teri jagah, kyunki main wohi karti hoon jo mujhe karna hai aur tujhe aise log nahi pachte." She assured his decision but somehow, Sidharth's throat constricted with those words. She had stopped fighting back, fighting him, fighting for them. She really did give up.
**
It was now Friday, the shooting for Weekend-Kar-Vaar would start soon. The house had never been so gloomy and dark, there was no laughter, there was no singing, there were no jokes; all of whose source was the light of the house, Shehnaz. Her spirit was broken. The one who understood her better than anyone in the house, he had misunderstood her the most. Shehnaz knew she would be tested constantly this session of WKV, her instinct was always right.
Her voice constantly cracked as she explained herself to everyone there but she desperately hope Sidharth's would hear the voice of reason. Their fight had been going on for too long now and she couldn't take it anymore.
Salman Khan noticed it too, Shehnaz had never been this quite, this shallow in her voice when she spoke to him. He noticed how her eyes teared up at every conversation, how she tried to smile and failed miserably, how she defended herself time and time again. He tried to cheer her up silently, he tried to have her interact with the guests but the light ever reached her eyes. He then watched Sidharth during the task where they had to match their answers with Shehnaz's, how he knew every answer but didn't speak up once, how he didn't correct the housemates when they answered something wrong, how he brought up topics that were irrelevant about her to find logic in all his actions through out the week.
****
Life would never guide two strangers together and have them face situations that tested their relationship for no reason, it was the same case with Shehnaz and Sidharth. Destiny made its move by bringing them together, it made them fall and made them rise again. They were Sidharth and Shehnaz, and Sidharth and Shehnaz always found their way back to each other.
Salman Khan cleared out the meaning of Fixed Deposit, clearing out Shehnaz and Asim's name from the dirt, this exposed their poisoning mind to Sidharth. He found it quite unbelievable how she never said a word against him throughout, how she subtly defended him against Asim, how she never raised a question about everything he said to her in the past few days to hurt her. He felt awful.
Later on in the evening, Varun Dhawan and Shraddha Kapoor visited the house.
"Shehnaz aap toh Sidharth ke comedy ko bhi tragedy banadete ho." Varun said.
'Nahi, woh toh meri hasne ki wajah hai iss ghar mein.' He thought to himself but remained silent.
"Maine suna hai ki yaha pe ek singer hai." Shraddha said, smiling at Shehnaz.
"Ahyiye Shehnaz!" Varun welcomed her forward.
"Maine aaj aap ke liye ek hindi gaana sunaungi." She said giggling, she knew what she was about to do was extremely risky, but she's Shehnaz and she always does what she wants.
"Bol do na zara.
Dil mein jo hai chupa,
main kissi se kahunga nahi."
Her eyes remained straight on Sidharth, she finally understood why his reactions came out through out the week. She wanted him to tell her how he felt, to take that right on her, to open up his heart to her, she yearned for in, she was ready to let go of everything that had happened in the past few days and take him back. Sidharth heard the voice of her heart, he felt like he losing grip on his emotions, her sweet voice haunted his mind. It blew his mind of she subtly and silently knew how to get to him, to battle his mind and to speak directly his heart. She figured him out. Sidharth pushed on the chair, trying to hold himself up, to not lose physical stability like he lost his emotional stability, in the process, he unbelievably broke the chair he sat in. He fumbled and was at loss of words. This girl, petit and loud, 13 years younger to him, completely crazy with her way, his Gadhi made him react in ways he never thought before, made him lose his mind and forget how to think or to act, made him completely lose himself. Now, he knew why. He had fallen for her, truly, madly, indescribably and painfully deep in love with her. The silent admission amongst the maddening chaos around him brought him some relief but also scared him senseless.
****
The testing didn't stop here for them. Sidharth and Shehnaz were teamed up together to eliminate the contestant from the line for Elite Club, Sidharth wanted to see what he move would be. She silently, without putting up a fight agreed to go with whatever decision he wanted to take if it meant going against her friends and having him win.
Towards the end of the shooting, the contestants were asked to turn the wheel and speak about whatever it landed on. Sidharth was reluctant to speak about Shehnaz's flips but after being asked to by Salman Khan, he does, winning the votes of the people. His eyes were trained on Shehnaz through out the voting process, he saw her cross her fingers under her dupatta, how her eyes slightly remained closed as she prayed for his victory, he saw how she didn't care for a second that he had spoken negatively about her but her selfless heart still prayed for his success. He made no move nor did he react when he found out that he was a member of the Elite Club, his eyes were still stuck on Shehnaz, his throat choked up at how she jumped in joy, how her eyes lit up and her smile genuinely brightened because of his win.
She was right, koi bhi nahi tha yaha pe jo kud se pehele isko rakhe, aise pyaar kare ki pyaar ka matlab samjhana mushkil hojaye, uske haar jeet se pehele woh tha, woh hi uska sab kuch tha.
Sidharth knew he had fix what he destroyed, he remembered that it was her birthday a day later, there was no way he'd be able to leave her heart broken on the special day. He fell asleep that night with a prayer in his heart, for destiny to play its game because this was the part of his that he could not mess with, he could not mess up the love between them both, he'd already done that enough. It was time to pass through this test, they were Sidharth and Shehnaz, they always found their back to each other.
******
*Guys this chapter literally feels like a filler, I tried to hurry through everything that happened and like it feels incomplete but it is what it is, a lot of you asked me to make the reconciliation more different and more intimate and more satisfying. I will, I just need sometime to figure out the plot. Next, I take back the little positive things I said about Paras, he's such a dick. Literally irks me. Sana baby is beautiful, I think I died watching her omg*