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when there's nothing that
could make him leave her
side
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BE PROUD. i researched a lot to get this info wooooo i feel like bruce now science bro whO?
yeah its cliche but I AM A SUCKER FOR HOSPITAL TROPES !1!1!1!1!1!1!1 the main difference is that it's more medically accurate than any of my other oneshots you'll probably read. this took a diff turn towards the end hahha
I AM AN EXPERT! credits to Crash Landing on You for the topic :)
THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRYYYYYY BUT I DIDNT WANNA SPLIT IT UP. ILL HAVE A NICER FLUFFY PETER ONESHOT AFTER THIS TO MAKE UP FOR THE ANGST
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"We're losing her!" someone shouted.
A long beep sounded out from your heart monitor, causing Steve to jolt out of his trance and focus his gaze in front of him where you lay. He pressed a hand up against the cold glass and watched as several doctors crowded around your bed.
He'd been standing there, firmly rooted to the ground for eight hours straight at this point. He hadn't budged at all, hadn't eaten or slept since before he'd taken off for the mission that had landed you in this unfortunate situation. And even when your own father, Tony, tried to pull him aside, he wouldn't move.
Eventually after multiple failed attempts to get him to leave your side, the team gave up, knowing that there was no way they would be able to convince him to do otherwise.
"Cap? A word?" Bruce peeked his head through the doorway and stepped out of the room you were in, seeing Steve standing there next to the window with an emotionless stare.
"Yeah," Steve cleared his throat, "of course."
"She's in critical condition right now," he said quietly, "the gunshot wound punctured a vital organ. It's only been a few hours and we've declared that she'd contracted sepsis."
"What is that?"
"Blood poisoning. Some bacteria entered her bloodstream, and the chemicals released to fight it triggered inflammation throughout her body."
"The bullet wasn't laced..."
"Septic shock caused her to collapse," he said, "and increased stress can worsen her condition. She's had a lot on her plate lately."
"Will she be okay?"
"The mortality rate is 50%."
"How bad is that?" Steve asked hesitantly as his brows furrowed together, dreading the bad news he was about to receive.
"There's a higher possibility than normal that she won't make it. The worst case scenario is one or more of her organs will fail," he explained, wringing out his hands. "And even if she recovers from the septic shock, the damage that may be done to her body during the process will be permanent."
"Do you think she'll make it?"
"I don't know, Cap," the scientist sighed, "all we can do right now is hope."
The super-soldier squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his hands into tight fists until his knuckles began turning white. He felt a single tear drip down his cheek and into his lap and pressed his fingers to the side of his forehead with one hand, letting out a long sigh. He didn't want to accept that you could possibly die. He couldn't.
"But there may be a chance," Bruce spoke up again, quickly glancing over to see the doctors pulling out the defibrillator and cranking up the shock level each time when the first few attempts failed, "if this doesn't work, they'll give her the antibiotics Tony and I developed several months back. Then, there may be a higher chance."
"How much higher?"
"That's the thing. I don't know how much better the odds will be. Hey, it'll be fine," he realized that Steve was growing more anxious by the second and put a sympathetic hand on his broad shoulder, "we're doing everything we can. I need to go back in now, but I'll update you on her condition soon."
"I'll just wait here, then."
"You sure you don't need to get some rest?"
"I'm fine. Thanks, Banner."
"No problem."
He slumped down into the uncomfortable plastic chair in the hallway, beginning to feel his legs throbbing and growing sore from standing for so long.
"Steve? You okay?"
Bucky sat down next to his best friend and watched in concern for a few moments as his normally composed self trembled with fear and silent sobs. When he didn't respond, he carefully started rubbing his back to calm him down.
"She's going to be okay," the Winter Soldier reassured him, "if there's anything I know, Y/N's feisty as hell and she's not gonna go down so easily."
He looked up at him with bloodshot eyes, running a hand down his face. "And if she doesn't live?"
"Then we know she at least went down with a fight, but I honestly think she'll pull through. Now get some rest. Sam'll bring something to eat for you later."
"I'm not hungry," Steve mumbled into his hands.
"You have to eat," he reminded him, "or you won't have enough energy to see her later."
"Fine."
"If there's anything else you need, just let me or Tony know," Bucky reminded Steve as he stood up to leave. "Or Peter. He's the one with the Uno card deck and better Spotify playlist."
Steve nodded numbly and stared straight ahead. "Alright."
Later on when Sam came with the sandwiches, he was standing by the window yet again. His face was completely void of any emotion, and the only indicator of his distress were the dark circles lined underneath his red-rimmed eyes and his clenched jaw.
"Cap, how long have you been standing like that?"
"Three hours," he muttered, "eleven in total."
"Jeez, take a break," the Falcon shook his head, "eat something and I won't bother you afterwards, alright? Come on."
Steve reluctantly took the sandwich from his hands and after eating half, set it down at his chair.
"I have good news and bad news," he stated. "Assuming you wanna hear the bad news first, she's still not waking up, but...Banner says they're making progress. We don't know when, but it should be soon."
"Okay."
"You're in love with her."
He didn't reply. His silence was all Sam needed to confirm his question.
"If you're going to keep staying here until she wakes up, at least try to get some sleep, will ya? Even Fury's worried that you're not well-rested enough."
"You don't think I've tried already?" he asked hoarsely. "I can't fall asleep still wondering whether she'll be okay or not. You heard Bruce. The odds aren't in our favor this time."
"But it doesn't mean you should give up on hoping."
Steve focused his gaze back on you again, watching your seemingly peaceful form lying there as IVs pumped antibiotics through your veins and filtered out your blood, the extremely slow but steady beeping of your heart monitor indicating that there was some life left in you.
If I could just turn back time, maybe then you'd be safe
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Steve didn't know when or how he'd fallen asleep and ended up back in the uncomfortable plastic chair again, but when he woke up Peter was shaking him awake. Judging by the sliver of light coming through the blinds across the hallway, it had been a while since dusk had fallen.
"Captain, you need to see this!" the boy stuttered, pointing over towards the window, "I think she's coming to-"
"She's what?" He immediately shot up out of his seat and quickly walked over, peering through the glass and seeing your heart rate spike up. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath of relief. "Odin's beard, I thought she wouldn't wake up at all..."
Right at that moment, Bruce came through the doors.
"She just woke up, Steve. If you want to see her, you'll have to wait another half hour. There's still a few tests we need to run."
"Yeah, that's fine."
"We've managed to flush 90% of the bacteria out of her bloodstream. The antibiotics proved successful in her treatment. I've never heard of a recovery this quick before; it's a miracle that she's been able to bounce back at this rate. If we hadn't administered those treatments she most likely wouldn't be alive."
Steve gripped Bruce's hand firmly in a tight handshake. "Thank you."
"I had to save the woman I knew you cared so much about," he added a small smile. "It was worth the extra effort in trying to save her."
After nearly ten combined hours of waiting nonstop, thirty minutes didn't seem at all too long.
You pressed a hand to your newly bandaged side as you sat up and hissed in pain. But when you saw him walk in, clad in his long-sleeved, tight black shirt and dark jeans, you couldn't help but feel slightly better.
"Hey," he made his way towards you, hands in his pockets.
"I'm sorry if I worried you," you said quietly. "I was scared, too...but they told me I was gonna be okay, so..."
"Don't even think about doing that again," he scolded, the suddenly aggressive tone taking you by surprise. "Have you lost your mind? You couldn't have saved everyone. You think you can, but you can't. What you did out there almost got you killed! If that bullet had been even an inch closer you wouldn't be in front of me right now."
"I had to try. I couldn't just stand there and let innocent people die for something they didn't do. Victory," you pursed your lips together, "stands on the back of sacrifice. And if winning this war means I have to give myself up and possibly risk my life along the way, then I have no other choice than to follow through with it. This is what we all signed up for."
"We don't sign up for this just to watch someone we care about suffer at the enemy's hands," he hissed in between gritted teeth. "We do this for the sake of saving others, not to watch them suffer. And if you'd thought even for a split second that I wouldn't be willing to jump in and take your place, then you're wrong."
"Look, Steve, I don't need your judgement," you sighed tiredly, running a hand through your hair, "if I had known there was another way, another plan, then I would've done things differently. You know that."
"But there was no other plan!" he shouted, the loudness of his tone causing you to flinch. He exhaled and his fists clenched and unclenched by his sides. The tension was clear in his shoulders and there was an unfamiliar look in his eyes you couldn't seem to figure out.
"I didn't have a choice."
"You did! You could've stayed behind, for God's sake, you could've been more aware of your surroundings so you would dodge that bullet before it hit you! You could've been more careful."
"I'm sorry, but it's not like I thought things would take this kind of turn!" you exclaimed. "I didn't think-"
"You didn't think? Damn right you didn't, that's why you almost died!" he gritted his teeth, slamming a fist down against the small table by your bedside.
You sucked in a breath, as his chest rose and fell with each aggressive breath he took.
"Just go, please," you choked out, waving him towards the door, "As soon as I wake up, this is what I get? Why are you acting like this? I can't even look at you right now."
Guilt and regret immediately flooded his stomach upon seeing your eyes beginning to grow watery with tears.
Trying to hold back tears of his own as well, he turned around on his heel and pushed the door open, letting it slam shut behind him.
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"Oh, honey, what happened," Natasha came in after seeing Steve storm out in a rush, placing a hand on your tearstained cheek. "Are you alright?"
"No," you chewed on your bottom lip, feeling an ache in your chest upon remembering his words, "I'm not. I upset him, and I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for what I did."
"You didn't do anything wrong, Y/N; you were just trying to fight a war. He's just worried something worse could've happened," she reminded you. "And you're okay now, so there isn't anything else to be so concerned about."
"He sure didn't sound worried to me," you deadpanned.
"He's in shock," the assassin tried to explain, "do you know how long he's been waiting outside the operating room?"
"How...long?"
"11 hours. Even when he was hit with a truckload of bad news, even when he saw you flatlining and was told you could possibly die from blood poisoning, he kept waiting. He kept hoping and praying you'd be okay. We all tried to get him to leave, but he wouldn't budge at all. He wouldn't leave your side."
"What's your point here?"
"He's in love with you," she said, "I know you think he's being overly controlling and aggressive, but he cares, far more than he'd like to admit. Don't leave things like this. You should at least try and talk to him."
"He still isn't going to talk to me right now," you pointed out. "So what's the point if he'll ignore me in the first place?"
"I'll talk to him, okay? Just hang tight for a sec."
"Nat..."
"Y/N, please."
With that, she left, and a few minutes later Steve walked through the doorway.
"Y/N, hey."
"Steve...I know you're mad at me and probably don't want to listen to what I'm about to say, but I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. For worrying you. And making you upset. But we both know I did what I had to do. We were assigned to a mission, and sometimes, we're going to get hurt. Weren't you the one who told me to walk it off if I got hurt or killed?"
"You literally almost died. That isn't something to joke about."
"The hero pays the price, Steve. Saving the world requires sacrifice."
His voice broke, and he choked on a sob. "Did it ever occur to you that what you were doing to yourself was hurting me, too?"
His voice was soft-spoken and raw, which was uncommon for you to hear coming out of his mouth. You'd never seen this more vulnerable side of him before, and the fact that he was so close to losing it and breaking down before your eyes made your chest ache even more.
"I'm sorry, I really am," you hastily wiped a stray tear that fell, "I was worried, too. I was worried that I might never wake up, and it scared me more than anything ever had...I was so scared that I'd never see you again."
"I'm sorry, too, I shouldn't have been this harsh towards you," he said softly, "I should be thankful you're alive instead of going off at you for something you couldn't control."
"Don't look at me like that," you whispered, seeing the look of longing in his icy blue eyes, "don't look at me as if you care."
"I care," he murmured, his eyes glossy and red-rimmed, "I care about you because I'm in love with you."
"You're...what..."
"And if something did happen, then I would feel like it was my fault, too."
You squeezed your eyes shut as tears streamed down your face. Initially unknowing of what to do, Steve was hesitant to take those several extra steps forward. He first took your hand in his and rubbed gentle circles across your palm and when you relaxed into his touch, tugged you forward until you were nestled against his chest.
His arms fell around you carefully yet gently at the same time, almost as if he was telling you if you pulled away it'd be okay with him because he'd understand why, but you didn't. You felt so safe, so warm, so content that you couldn't seem to come up with a single reason why you didn't want the moment to last forever. You pressed closer, hiding your face in the soft folds of his T-shirt and his arms tightened their grip around you, his chest slowly rising and falling.
"I love you too," you mumbled into his chest. "Just...try not to do something stupid, either. I don't have the energy to yell at you."
"I won't," Steve promised, resting his chin atop your head and smoothing your hair back.
"Well, damn. Kiddies made up."
"Shut up, Wilson! They could hear us!" Pietro elbowed Sam in the shoulder.
"Ow! We're going in anyways, so why does it matter?"
Rhodey smiled. "If they hadn't made up, then I think we'd all go insane."
"I'd die of sadness," Bucky pretended to wipe away a tear. "Let's start planning the wedding tomorrow."
"I died and came back to life and this is how you greet me? Nice," you said sarcastically. "What a way to welcome me back from the dead."
Steve chuckled at that and pressed a kiss to your forehead in response.