"Shiina! You're right on time."
Upon bumbling inside the house after school, a half-eaten steam bun dangling from my mouth, finding Dad, Chie and Mao all gathered in the living room piqued my confusion.
Dad smiled brighter than I'd seen in ages, issuing my caution.
"What'd you break this time?" I asked, uneasily. "Do we have enough to replace it? Oh, God. It better not have been my guitar."
"I didn't break anything," Dad insisted, shepherding me from the doorway after I'd removed my shoes, and into the family room. "This time, at least."
"Mao's magic charms for summoning his liege, the Dark Lord, better have not been sullied," Mao spoke up. She was still donned in her middle school uniform, eyepatch and witch's hat, giving me the clue she'd come home minutes earlier.
"We didn't enter your room either, Mao," Chie said with a grand smile.
"If nothing's broken, then. . ." Blood drained from my complexion. "Did you lose your job?"
"Hey. Why do you guys assume the worst whenever I smile?" Dad demanded.
"Because the worst is what always awaits us," Mao and I enunciated in unison.
Chie's laugh pervaded the room, all the while Dad sprung back.
"You really lost their trust, Naoto."
Scratching the back of his head, Dad frowned. "It really isn't bad news this time, too."
His action dazzled me for a hot second. It took me a moment to recognize it'd come from his hand. More specifically, the item occupying his fourth finger.
My stomach flipped so suddenly I was left nauseous.
"Shiina. Mao. Chie and I have something important to tell you." Dad's enthusiasm accumulated, cheeks adorning a bright red as his sheepish gesture continued.
They flashed their rings at the same time.
"We've decided to get married!" Chie declared.
"We're thinking of having the official ceremony in a couple of months," Dad continued. "Of course, I need my two princesses to be ready as can be for the day once we finally figure everything out."
"It won't be too large scale, but we'll make it something memorable," Chie added, clinging to his arm. Sparkling, she said, "What do you think?"
It was like my body had shut off. The world had grown distant, colours and sounds a disoriented mess.
Marriage?
Between who? Dad and. . . Chie?
"No."
Their focus flitted to me.
"Shiina?" Chie worriedly asked.
"Married?" I sneered under my breath. "You hardly know each other. Going out with her is one thing, but now we have to spend the rest of our lives together? With. . . someone like her? No way."
"Shiina," Dad hissed. Breaking from Chie's grasps, he extended his palm. "I know this may feel sudden, and you have a lot of thoughts, but I didn't make this decision likely. I've never thought for a single second these past few months that I wouldn't marry Chie—"
"So you'll abandon Mom, then? This quickly? This easily?"
He was struck dumb.
Mao clenched her bag pack to her chest, speechless as could be.
"It's only been a year," I sputtered onward, eyes hot, poise rupturing. "Only a year since we had to say goodbye. Yet you started dating some random woman within the first three months, brought her here to live with us. . . had her cook, and clean. . . Now you're tying the knot? Is that. . . Is that all Mom meant to you?!"
I could hardly see. The thoughts I'd buried, emotions I'd concealed, ugly words better left unsaid—all of it exploded in a torrent of blind rage.
"You never even asked how I felt. Expected me to nod and go along with this all, knowing damn well what I thought. You're the selfish one. I bet you don't even love her like you say you do—just needed somebody to reflect Mom onto—"
Numbing pain blazed across my cheek.
It took me a split second to realize I'd been slapped. Chie stood before me. Tears poured from her eyelids in copious amounts, smearing her makeup, and leaving me shell-shocked.
My senses rushed back to me.
Dad's miserable countenance.
Mao's hushed sniffles.
Words I could never take back.
Chie's chin wobbled. She sprinted up the stairs in a heap of sobs.
"Ch-Chie!" Dad shouted after her.
His footsteps scurried behind her, followed by indecipherable conversation.
Mao collapsed onto her legs. She snivelled against her bag. "Sh-Shiina."
My heart tore in two. The strength in my leaden legs vanished. I fell right beside her.
"Sorry," I whimpered, wrapping my arms around her to comfort her. "I said some horrible things."
Chie had never wronged me. No matter how much I pushed her away, made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her, she never backed down. Toward me and Mao, she always smiled, and did so much. Not only because she loved Dad, but because she wanted to close the distance between us too.
Tiny and frail beneath my fingers, Mao's shoulders convulsed as she cried. Gone was her cheerful persona that never batted an eyelash in the face of hardship, who'd served as my anchor whenever I'd gotten depressed. Like an infant, she bawled; harsh as the day we found out about Mom.
I wasn't the only one who felt awkward around Chie. I wasn't the only one who wished time could go back. Mao forced countless smiles, ate Chie's meals, let her fawn on her like Mom once did. . . She was so much stronger compared to me who only ran from reality. Dad, too. He loved Mom as much as us—no, more than that. Who knew how hard losing her must've been to him. Yet he was moving forward. Chie wasn't a replacement, I'd known that all along.
But I. . . I still couldn't accept it.
Not when it hurt this much.
.
.
.
When would it finally stop hurting?
✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧
"Ta-daaah!"
I'd come to the school rooftop first thing the next morning only to find myself staring at Igarashi's smug grin.
I deadpanned as he thrust his cell toward me.
"Don't tell me you called me all the way up here to show me a video?"
"Not just any video."
Cold wind cleaved the air in irregular spurts, fluttering his orange bangs. He slipped it into my hand, and beckoned I press play. After taking a seat on the adjacent bench, I complied.
The footage was wobbly, and in low definition. In spite of that, the music tinkling from the screen, the voice, cost me my indifference.
"No way!" I snapped, tugging it closer. "This is—"
"Somebody must've recorded our performance and uploaded it," Igarashi responded, understanding my shock. "I knew people were talking about it, but look at these views. These comments!"
My vision twirled out of control. 10,003 views. At least a thousand comments.
What group is this?
They're so good!
This has completely made my week! I can't stop replaying it!
My wrists shook. "I-Igarashi, they're talking about us!"
"Surreal, right?" His lips stretched higher. "What can I say. With a face like this, it was bound to happen eventually."
Stars most likely took the place of my eyes. Any and all negative sentiments that might've lingered, evaporated.
"We have to tell everyone," I cried after returning his device. I retrieved mine from my pocket, intent on texting Rin-Rin first and foremost, when Igarashi clasped my wrist.
"Hold on, is that really your first thought?"
His inquiry baffled me. "You don't want to tell them?"
"That's not what I meant. C'mon, Kisaragi. You gotta dream more."
I descended my hands onto my lap, unease worming its way to the pit of my gut.
Hopping to his feet, he rounded and positioned himself right in front of me. A twinkle sparked in his eye. "Let's start a band."
My mouth split apart. "A. . . band?"
"I'm thinking 'Infinite Creation' for its name. Badass, right?"
"I mean. . . but why?"
"You have an amazing voice and I write great songs," he elaborated. "Not to mention those views. Lots of people want to hear more. And truthfully, ever since that day I myself have wanted to perform with you again. We didn't end up winning that award, but it gave me so much more. Don't you feel the same?"
His fingers furled around my shoulders. Between his wide, eager stare, and glowing demeanour, I was tongue-tied.
"I need you, Kisaragi. Please be my lead singer."
✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧
I gave the okay.
Igarashi, on an all time high, whooped loudly before running off, insistent to find his friend Sena to ask him the same question. I went on ahead to our classroom, but all the while getting there, and whilst relaying the whole story to Tsumugi and Kiharu, I was reeling.
Collapsing into my desk, I dreamily sighed.
"You're seriously startin' up a band?" Kiharu demanded. "With that midget?"
"Doesn't it sound amazing?" I clasped my palms, daydreams stirring through my mind. "We can be the next Mortal Mania!"
Not sharing in my joy, Kiharu frowned. "I dunno know, man. Bands never get far."
"Oh my gosh, this is amazing, Shiina!" Tsumugi, on the contrary, was a starry-eyed mess as she scrolled through the comments on the YouTube video I'd shown her. Gripping my sleeve, she hopped up and down. "You're literally famous!"
"I know, right?" I squealed, equally as enthusiastic.
"You're going to throw concerts and everything, aren't you? I'm coming to every single one! Buying all your merch. Downloading all your songs—"
"Oi, come back to earth before I have to drag you two back myself."
Tsumugi pouted at Kiharu who wedged herself between us. "It wouldn't hurt to be excited. Shiina's about to become a rockstar!"
"I'll start playing a few chords on my guitar again ASAP. Visit the karaoke bar, too," I added cheerfully. "I've been slacking."
"That's fine and dandy," Kiharu said. "But are ya' sure? Yer literally signing up to spend more time with Igarashi."
"I know. We've got to get a lot of practice in. Oh! And find members."
"Me! Take me!" Tsumugi leaped, waving frantically. She halted, puppy-like innocence reflecting on her face. "Oh, but I can't play any instruments."
Melting, I scooped her into an embrace. "I'll take you just for cuteness!"
She sheepishly flushed. "I-If anyone's cute, it's you, Shiina."
"No, no, I'm nothing more than animal feces compared to you."
"I'm worse than feces, then! I'm trash. Throw me out."
"Never."
Kiharu deadpanned. "I'm out here concerned for yer well-being and yer out here flirtin'. . ."
I stuck out my tongue. "Someone sounds jelly."
She grounded her molars and yanked Tsumugi right out of my arms, glaring with the wild ferocity of a tiger. "Don't act all high and mighty, beanpole. I met Tsumugi first. She's mine before yours."
"We have a deeper bond."
"In your dreams! What's Tsumugi's favourite colour? Food? Birthday? Sign?"
"Pastel yellow. Chirashizushi. February 27th. Pisces."
"How many moles on her neck?"
"Two! She also has a gigantic birthmark on the back of her thigh shaped like a carrot."
"Wh-wh-what are you guys arguing about?" Tsumugi exclaimed, redder than lava itself. She slammed her balled fists into our shoulders. "Dummies! You big dummies! The rest of the class heard you! I hate you guys!"
Seeing as her blows emulated tickles, neither Kiharu nor I were fazed. Whatever our classmates were up to were they furthest things from our minds.
"Heh, you've done your research." Kiharu smirked, wiping a fake bead of sweat. "Tsumugi's one thing, but I bet you can't answer a thing about me."
"June 9th. Gemini. Favourite colour: green. Favourite food: beef curry with rice. Least favourite: rice crackers. Likes: all sports, especially soccer. Dislikes: all things nerdy—"
"I get it! Damn, you didn't even let me ask." Breathless, she scowled harder. "You're implying you know everything about us, huh. What do you plan to do with that information?"
The question stalled me for a moment.
"I mean, we're friends, right?" I replied, matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't I want to know as much as I can about you guys?"
She staggered. I observed, stunned, as she ducked her head. In a flash, it no longer mattered. Watery-eyed, she throttled me.
"Shiinaaa! I don't even care that it's creepy. I love you!"
"Shiina's a national treasure," Tsumugi sniffled, on a similar wavelength nearby.
My lips twisted up. If anything deserved to be treasured, it was moments like these. Moments I thought I wouldn't get to cherish until I met them.
"There's no way I'm handing you over to that midget." Kiharu pouted into my shoulder. "If you start a band, we'll lose time to hang out. Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I mean. . . it's not like I haven't thought about pursuing music before." Especially when Rin-Rin was working so hard to achieve his dream, I was right there with him. During vocal lessons our moms signed us up for together, guitar lessons, dance (though I quit that early on). I attended every single one of his idol auditions, too. There was even an occurrence where I was asked by one of the judges to audition also (they regretted it as soon as I belted out rock and roll verses courtesy of Mortal Mania). "I've imagined it a lot, actually," I continued, reflecting on the memories. "But, I didn't really think I was good enough. So when Rin-Rin debuted, I left those ideas behind me. I had enough trouble trying to get through high school without him. But when Igarashi showed me that video, and asked that question, those emotions from back then resurfaced. So even if it doesn't work out, it's fine. I want to at least try."
"Shiina. . ." Kiharu mumbled, retreating. Her eyebrows pinched. "Hold on, 'Rin-Rin'?"
I jumped. Darn it, I spoke without thinking! "O-oh, he's a childhood friend of mine."
"Even then, what kind of nickname is that?" She doubled over in guffaws. "And he lets you call him that? Whatta bum!"
"He is not!" I cried in defence. "Rin-Rin— I mean, Rin is amazing! I called him that since we were little. Besides, he calls me by a nickname, too."
"Like, what? 'Shii-Shii'? Oh, God! I can't. I'm dead."
Exasperation rippled through me as she gasped between snickers.
Tsumugi frowned. "Kiharu, I'm sure whoever this Rin-Rin person is cherishes Shiina a lot."
"He does!" I announced.
"Not with that kinda nickname he doesn't," Kiharu sniggered.
"He doesn't call me that!" I protested firmly. Huffing, I crossed my arms. "That's it. Just because of that, I'm never letting you meet him even if you beg."
"I think I can live without that. It isn't like this Rin-Rin loser is the Rin Mizota, number one idol and pretty boy in Japan."
"Oh my gosh, I'm such a huge fan of Rin Mizota!" Tsumugi exclaimed with dramatic heart-eyes. "If only that was your childhood friend, Shiina! I would die."
They launched into fangirlish screams right then, expelling their love for his music and recent public appearances.
Lots of cues appeared to correct them, clear up the misunderstanding.
Instead, I sneered.
They'd regret belittling our relationship, that I could count on.
__________
Imagine if you're a huge fan of some celebrity, and your friend was really close friends with them and never told you, and just listened to you go on and on about them—
That's pure evil. Shiina is terrible for that, lol. Then again, Kiharu had that coming after what she said,,, xD
Any who, the beginning of this chapter was a bit dark. I realize I haven't really delved too much into Shiina's problems (just lightly touched on them) so that's what I'll be focusing on from here on out. Also focusing more on Igarashi 'cause it's been a hot minute and I enjoy writing their dynamic.
Vote & Comment your opinions! <3